Kakester 55,555 14
04/21/2005 10:42 AM

use razor blades.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/21/2005 10:43 AM

I don't know what causes it but I hear showering helps.

Pope Chickens the Fruitful 286,527 61
04/21/2005 10:43 AM

<action>Suddenly has itchy wrists.

Virnomine 79,386 11
04/21/2005 10:48 AM

I've heard men that deny their homosexuality get phantom itches like that.





Right kake?

Kakester 55,555 14
04/21/2005 10:49 AM

yeah, in the rectum. that's why they put stuff up there.

gorckat 41,132 13
04/21/2005 10:51 AM

<action>scratches ass</action>



What?

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
04/21/2005 10:51 AM

Tempus is right. Go in the shower and turn the water as hot as you can bear. Stand in it for a minute, making sure your itchy spots are being exposed to the hot water. Then turn the water cold. This will cause the pores to close up a bit or something and should relieve some of the itchiness. This is something heard in Scout camp, and it seems to work pretty well. The hot water in particular feels good on the itches.

Kakester 55,555 14
04/21/2005 10:52 AM

That's true, Bri. Ever get poison Ivy, and put a hot shower on it? It's almost orgasmic.

Pope Chickens the Fruitful 286,527 61
04/21/2005 11:04 AM

Oh that poison ivy scalding water thing IS damn near orgasmic. Really intense. 5 seconds of maxed out sensation then the itching goes away for a couple of hours.



Someone once told me something about over stimulating the nerve endings causing a temporary relief from the itching.

Spicy Noodles 185 9
04/21/2005 11:41 AM

I know for one thing...over stimulation is never ever a bad thing. Unless of course you're stimulating more than one place at once, that's just confusing.

Pistolet 10,071 9
04/21/2005 11:52 AM

Apparently, my roommate once had poisen ivy all over her crotch. Jews should've though of that. It would've been a lot more effective than nailing someone to a cross.

Prof. Fantabulous 19,711 13
04/21/2005 11:56 AM

I was in highschool with a guy that speant a day hanging out in the woods.

He thought it would be a good idea to chew on various twigs.

He did not know what poison ivy looked like.

He came to school with his face so swollen, that his eyelids pressed against the lenses in his glasses.

Ditdah 123,102 14
04/21/2005 12:03 PM

Pistol, did you bother asking HOW she got poison ivy in her crotch?



"I just slipped and fell - I swear!"

Virnomine 79,386 11
04/21/2005 12:06 PM

Always use a condom when using a stranger's dildo.

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
04/21/2005 12:37 PM

Especially if that stranger is a druid.

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
04/21/2005 03:40 PM

That's funny, she doesn't look druish.

Sexual Harassment Turtle 181,783 70
04/21/2005 03:51 PM

One day I got a mosquito bite on my foot that would NOT stop itching.



I have a can of compressed air on my desk and had the bright idea of spraying the cold cold liquid onto my foot.



It stopped the itch, and I never forget how well it worked because I now have a scar on my foot from the skin I burnt (froze?) off.

MaddMatt -Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
04/21/2005 04:24 PM

Apparently, my roommate once had poisen ivy all over her crotch. Jews should've though of that. It would've been a lot more effective than nailing someone to a cross.



The Romans nailed people to crosses, not the Jews. That's why the Roman Catholics keep the cross as their icon/trophy.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/21/2005 04:29 PM

<action>points and laughs</action>



I now have a scar on my foot from the skin I burnt (froze?) off



YOU GAVE YOURSELF FROSTBITE!

ITS NEVER EVER GOING TO GO AWAY!

YOU'LL HAVE TO GET SKIN GRAFTS!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/21/2005 04:31 PM

ooo ooooo



I have an idea. The next time you have a mosquito bite, why don't you get a cattle prod, wait til its glowing hot, and then sear your flesh until the itching goes away.

gorckat 41,132 13
04/21/2005 04:33 PM

<action>fires up cattle prod</action>



Scooch a little closer Tempus, I have this itch...

Virnomine 79,386 11
04/21/2005 04:35 PM

cattle prods are electric, Frostnut, how are they going to get redhot?

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/21/2005 04:36 PM

I apologize. I didn't mean to offend anyone that shovels cow Shakespeare for a living. I meant branding iron. I don't live on a farm. They smell like Shakespeare.

Virnomine 79,386 11
04/21/2005 04:42 PM

then how do you explain your breath?

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/21/2005 04:44 PM

The Romans nailed people to crosses, not the Jews. That's why the Roman Catholics keep the cross as their icon/trophy.





So this explains why they wear cross necklaces.





I wonder why Jewish men don't wear turtlenecks a little more often?

turtle10 42,578 26
04/21/2005 04:47 PM

<action>feels dirty</action>



I actually clickied gorckat, I need a shower

MaddMatt -Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
04/21/2005 05:02 PM

I wonder why Jewish men don't wear turtlenecks a little more often?



We would, but they accent our nose too much. Especially combined with a yamulka.

Potrzebie 1,790 9
04/21/2005 07:22 PM

"ARRRRRRRGH OH MY CANNNNNNT SCRATTTTCH ENOUGH"





It's obviosly an alergic reaction to GAB. You need to stay at least fifteen feet away from it for the next few weeks or get an extra Emerson and die.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/21/2005 07:25 PM

Why would somebody need an extra Emerson?



They would then need an extra piehole, otherwise there would be an imbalance in material flow, and they would implode.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/21/2005 07:26 PM

Aside from that, though, if anybody does need an extra Emerson, let me know.





I've got plenty of them around here.

NBL peaceprize winner John Hume 48 8
04/21/2005 07:35 PM

Whenever I get that strange itch i pull out the tiny comb and the special shampoo...