DemoMonkey, Gracious in Defeat. 166,252 10
04/22/2005 05:39 PM

This tiny cm long string is driving me absolutely batShakespeare insane. It draws my tongue to it like a snake to a chocolate covered hamster. I keep absent-mindedly trying to puShakespeare out from between my teeth as if it was a string of half chewed celery, only to be rewarded with a sharp jabbing sensation and a mouthful of salty liquid. Which is not an entirely unfamiliar experience, I'll admit, but I usually get dinner and a few drinks first.



I just can't stop, people. My mouth is perpetually screwed to one side; I look like I'm trying to kiss someone to my right without taking my eyes off the TV. Everyone around me thinks I've developed a nervous tic, and in truth I fear for my sanity if it goes on much longer. It's an epic, nay, cinematic struggle going on behind my lips every freaking minute of every freaking day.



OH MOUTH STRING! IT TASKS ME! IT TASKS ME AND I SHALL HAVE IT!



I'll chase you round my swollen gums and round my molar teeth and down my very throat before I give you up!



To the last my tongue will grapple with thee! From my soft palate I will stab at thee! For hates sake...I rinse and spit at thee!



STRIIIIIINNNGGG!!!







...

I've never looked forward to a dentist appointment so much in my life.

Virnomine 79,386 11
04/22/2005 05:40 PM

You know what's even more annoying?





THE Frost-ing SERVER DYING 50 TIMES A DAY. I don't want to work, and I've looked at enough porn. I need clicks dammit!

Fratberry 282,931 53
04/22/2005 05:43 PM

Even for Baptists, it's at least 6 weeks. But I digress; back to my mouth.



WHAT?

Clint McPants - A pawn in game of life 19,555 11
04/22/2005 05:45 PM

What? I was sure this thread was going to be about Penii. Man, now I'm all disappointed.

Sexual Harassment Animal of Undetermined Species 181,783 70
04/22/2005 05:46 PM

To the last my tongue will grapple with thee!



I bought some Grapples the other day. Grape flavored apples. Who know?

Clint McPants - A pawn in game of life 19,555 11
04/22/2005 05:46 PM

There. </Penis joke mode>

Phuc 237,919 21
04/22/2005 05:46 PM

When I had my wisdom teeth taken out and my gums stitched up (the ones that were sliced up to get at those tough bits that just wouldn't come out without hammer n' chisel), I returned a few days later to have the stitches removed.



Afterward, I had the same problem: a piece of suture sticking out of the way back of my mouth. Feeling certain that it was sewn into flesh, I left it there and intended to see the dental surgeon and have it removed, but work, massive goat porn uploads, and stuff made me put it off.



When I could barely stands no more, I decided to take care of it myself. I grabbed a pair of tweezers and yanked. It came out easily. It was not attached, just wedged between folds of swollen gumflesh.



It ended up not being a big deal.



Except for the smell.

Fratberry 282,931 53
04/22/2005 05:47 PM

I had a similar experience years ago. I was going down on my girlfriend when I felt something weird in my mouth. Turned out it was just the tampon string.

Fratberry 282,931 53
04/22/2005 05:47 PM

Boy was my face red.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
04/22/2005 06:27 PM

Man, a PMSing cat has to be a real bitch!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/22/2005 06:31 PM

one of my two least favourite places to have sharp bits of metal jabbed. (the other two being my scrotum, and Dairy Queen.)



No gold star for you Demo.

For shame.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/22/2005 06:32 PM

Bankey was bleeding from his butt?

Benguins 1,612 9
04/22/2005 06:37 PM

A few years ago, I had the experience of the septoplasty (a reconstruction of the inside of the nose). For a week after, I had (bright blue) plastic supports stitched into the inside of my nostrils.

Under constant aggravation, my nose produced more mucus and other fluids than the rest of my body has ever produced. EVER. And I produce a lot of bodily fluids, on a regular basis. Usually into a sock.

Anyway, those stitches eventually ended in my mouth when I was able to hork up so hard that I broke the stitches and ended up with a mouthful of plastic, blood and bodily fluids.

It was like a party in my mouth, and you're all invited.

ringworm 68,315 13
04/22/2005 07:40 PM

here in the modern world, we have sutures that dissolve in your body.

Napkin's ± 30,762 12
04/22/2005 07:43 PM

BABUSHKA!

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
04/22/2005 07:55 PM

I once had a cyst removed from my nasal sinus cavity and they went in through my gums. The sutures they used were made from cat intenstines.



They just dissolved.



So, at least one time in my life I can say I had Poe in my mouth.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/22/2005 07:56 PM

I once put my friends' kitten's head in my mouth.

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
04/22/2005 07:57 PM

That gives a mew meaning to whisker lickin'

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/22/2005 07:58 PM

I appreciate the play on words, But I've never heard that saying anyways..

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
04/22/2005 07:59 PM

I'll take the appreciation instead of the lack of knowledge.

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
04/22/2005 08:00 PM

Whisker biscuit?



Better?

Fratberry 282,931 53
04/23/2005 01:52 AM

<action>accidentally bumps into thread</action>

The SuhYpa Experience 5,547 9
04/23/2005 03:11 AM

Careful, there's a thread there. It's a little thing, but it'll get ya.