Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/28/2005 07:26 PM

"I thought she was asleep!"

SteamerLane 0 0
04/28/2005 07:29 PM

"I didn't think the bullet would actually hit them."

Filly Harlot 39,193 20
04/28/2005 07:30 PM

I was asleep!

Senior Destructor: Retired Supervillan 60,724 12
04/28/2005 07:34 PM

"Jesus told me to"

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/28/2005 07:34 PM

Wrong emphasis on the incorrect syllable

Dweezil S Meniketti [Purple Guitar] 77,546 17
04/28/2005 07:35 PM

"I was trying to catch a fly" when I flipped my mom the bird back in Jr. High school.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/28/2005 07:35 PM

"The Leprechaun told me to do it!"

Captain Dan's Sea Legs 44,452 11
04/28/2005 07:35 PM

"I have it on good authority that my enemy is hiding WMD's."

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/28/2005 07:36 PM

Wait wait wait WAIT!



Who the hell keeps the bottle caps in their pocket?



I usually throw mine at the cat.

Dweezil S Meniketti [Purple Guitar] 77,546 17
04/28/2005 07:36 PM

I'm still grounded for that one by the way. I haven't turned forty yet.

Dr. McRib 13,155 9
04/28/2005 07:37 PM

I swear, I thought she was 18. How can any 12 year-old have tits that big?

Lauren The Great 221 8
04/28/2005 07:37 PM

...She's 15..she doesn't know the way of the world when it comes to drinking.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/28/2005 07:37 PM

Ooooh.. Heres a good excuse, And fitting too.



"I thought I clicked the Otto button!"

Lauren The Great 221 8
04/28/2005 07:38 PM

Hey Dr.McRib...I had C boobs when I was 12 thank-you-very-much.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/28/2005 07:39 PM

Not mine. I'm sterile.

Dr. McRib 13,155 9
04/28/2005 07:39 PM

Well, I guess I wish I'd gone to school with you when you were 12.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/28/2005 07:40 PM

Lauren, you talk the talk, but do you walk the walk?

Lauren The Great 221 8
04/28/2005 07:40 PM

Yea...I get that alot.

Lauren The Great 221 8
04/28/2005 07:41 PM

Oliver...When I get back in town...You can bet your ass I can walk the walk....











What's in it for me? huh?

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/28/2005 07:42 PM

Shakespeare, Lauren, I didn't "C" any boobs until I was at least fifteen.











Hey, What are you gonna do with that Gong there?

Lauren The Great 221 8
04/28/2005 07:43 PM

Excuse me?

Dr. McRib 13,155 9
04/28/2005 07:44 PM

I once was caught bringing home a playboy when I was 11. When my mother confronted me on it, I exclaimed, "it's your birthday present!"



She was not amused.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/28/2005 07:47 PM

Yes, Excuse you.

<action> lights a match </action>

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/28/2005 07:49 PM

What's in it for me? huh?



Herpes.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/28/2005 07:49 PM

Maybe some genital warts. We'll see.

Lauren The Great 221 8
04/28/2005 07:50 PM

Excellent....exactly what I wanted































more of.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/28/2005 07:53 PM

<action> goes off on a tangent about a late night alien abduction, waking up in a cornfield 10 minutes out of town, having to hitch a ride in from a lonely trucker, running the rest of the way back home from the gas station, the washing machine still going, the alarm not going off, a 6 car wreck on the way to work, no parking, and an Emerson in the elevator who wouldn't hold the door </action>

... and thats why I came so early, Honey.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/28/2005 07:54 PM

Frost-ing hell I italicized the wrong word.



Oh look! It's the end of the day!



GAB ya tomorrow, Frosters.

SteamerLane 0 0
04/28/2005 07:54 PM

Why is it fitting, Sombrero?

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
04/29/2005 01:38 AM

"Beer caps? Oh, no, no, I don't drink beer.



We use them to boil the heroin in."

PlainTableTopJane 173,958 15
04/29/2005 01:46 AM

No, No. You don't understand. I only had sex with him because I was drunk and I needed a place to stay. That, and his Coleridge is huge.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/29/2005 01:48 AM

Officer, I swear she told me she was 12 15 17 18.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/29/2005 02:34 AM

Look, I know my ancestors signed that treaty, but they couldn't read English at the time...

Robin® 14,626 10
04/29/2005 09:04 AM

When My brother was 11 he broke into our next door neighbors house (a Single mom and her 13yr old daughter) along with another kid. They went through their stuff and peed on the walls.



When asked why my brother said "I don't know, we were looking for condoms."

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
04/29/2005 09:17 AM

"I thought she'd touch my penis if I did."



The only excuse men ever have.



Or need, really.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
04/29/2005 09:21 AM

The devil made me do it

Bankey 70,843 10
04/29/2005 09:25 AM

"Look I told you I missed, I would never put it there on puropose, what am I an animal? I LOVE you!"

Erotic Kake 55,555 14
04/29/2005 09:33 AM

I must have gotten it from a toilet seat.

Fluffy the cappuccino maker 977 9
04/29/2005 03:45 PM

But these reusable-cloth condoms are so cheap.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/29/2005 03:49 PM

Sorry, the dog has gas.

PuggyD 48,304 12
04/29/2005 04:09 PM

My drummer started playing the wrong song...

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/29/2005 04:19 PM

I did not have sexual relations with that woman... BJ's don't count.

Zenmaster 236 8
04/29/2005 04:21 PM

The medication hasn't kicked in yet.