Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
05/01/2005 08:28 AM

Wow that was long.......worth reading if you like girls who kiss girls.

Neep: Armed and Fabulous! 35,066 15
05/01/2005 08:29 AM

Jaggy just throws up on the carpet. My friend vacuums it up. And leaves it in the vacuum cleaner.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
05/01/2005 08:31 AM

I din't puke once...a fact I am very proud of considering the BF filled up a waste basket in our livingroom.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/01/2005 08:32 AM

Yes. Yes it was.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
05/01/2005 08:33 AM

Worth reading or too long?

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/01/2005 08:37 AM

Long. And worth reading. But not too long.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/01/2005 08:38 AM

I had to decide between going to see Equilibrium and reading it.



I read it.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
05/01/2005 08:40 AM

Yeah Friday I was suppose to go see "The Hitchhikers Guide" but I decided to kiss girls and act like a freak nasty hoe instead.

Neep: Armed and Fabulous! 35,066 15
05/01/2005 08:44 AM

My favourite actress has been drunk enough to throw up into her handbag on 3 occasions. But Shakespeare happens.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/01/2005 08:50 AM

At the risk of being bludgeoned, I have to ask.



Who is that?

Neep: Armed and Fabulous! 35,066 15
05/01/2005 08:52 AM

Simone Lahbib.

HisBoyElroy 10,621 13
05/01/2005 09:31 AM

these are exactly the reasons that i do drink.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/01/2005 09:35 AM

You drink because of Simone Lahbib?

DemoMonkey, Gracious in Defeat. 166,252 10
05/01/2005 10:38 AM

No, he drinks because under the right circumstances it turns Chance into a freak whore.



Pay attention.

Clint McSahara Hotpants 19,555 11
05/01/2005 10:58 AM

Damn, I drank yesterday and none of that stuff happened.



I suppose part of it comes from the fact that there are almost no strip clubs in my country. Instead we have feminists, but hey - they're almost as good as strip clubs.

Robin® 14,626 10
05/01/2005 11:17 AM

When I drink, clothes come off.



The night before my Sister-in-laws wedding was spent at a campsite. I spent the evening half naked, showing off bellydancing skills in front of SR's friends and family, and danced with his sisters.



I got rid of the pictures.

Surly Raccoon 56,688 10
05/01/2005 11:21 AM

Hey Chance, how you doin'?

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
05/01/2005 11:31 AM

Heh...better than yesterday when I wore sunglasses all day. That was one helluva hangover!

millie 116,988 28
05/01/2005 12:22 PM

Instead we have feminists, but hey - they're almost as good as strip clubs.



I'm a feminist.



I think I'm better than a strip club.

millie 116,988 28
05/01/2005 12:29 PM

Chance, I wish you could come to the party (if and when it ever happens).



Not that I want to make out with you, you just sound like fun.

Clint McSahara Hotpants 19,555 11
05/01/2005 12:36 PM

I'm a feminist.



Heh, by Swedish feminist standards you're probably not. Our feminists for instance want to create a special "man tax" to compensate for all evils men stand for.



I think I'm better than a strip club.



Well, that depends. I'd say your average strip club earns more money than you do. It also probably gets more visitors than you do. Granted, it most likely doesn't make as pretty bowls, plates and hand puppets as you do, so maybe we can call it a draw.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
05/01/2005 12:40 PM

That millie chic is a feminist? Hey babe, go make me a sandwich and give me a back rub. See when my people controlled this land, there were no taxes, no debt and women did all the work. The white man thought he could improve that system.

millie 116,988 28
05/01/2005 12:42 PM

If you count success by the number of visitors or money you get, than I guess a stripclub is better.



If you prefer a woman paying attention to you because she wants money shoved into her panties to a woman who really likes you, I guess a strip club is better.

millie 116,988 28
05/01/2005 12:44 PM

SR, I am a feminist, but I do make food for my man and I give him foot rubs--or if he wanted a backrub, I would give him that to.



But I do it because I want to do it, not because he demands it or even expects it.

I am Jack's Overactive Thyroid 6,902 12
05/01/2005 12:48 PM

zing

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
05/01/2005 01:02 PM

I know you want too.

gorckat 41,132 13
05/01/2005 01:51 PM

<action> gets as far as,</action>

Before I knew it, one of the girls had me in the lap dance (It was free for some reason) section and we were making out.



fapfapfapfa...Ahhhh



Was there anthing good after that part?

Pope Chickens the Fruitful 286,527 61
05/01/2005 05:10 PM

And yet another penis penalty rears it's ugly head. If a guy had gotten plastered, made out with a stipper, then a same sex bartender, he would:



a. get pounded by the bouncers

b. get dumped by girlfriend

c. get oral herpies (chance may still have a ... chance.. at this one

d. get chided unmercifully by his friends forever

and e. have to pay out the ass for it all

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/01/2005 05:13 PM

Wait, wait, wait!













You're sayin' the strippers don't like me?

Oscar Schnackenpfefferhausen 161,353 14
05/01/2005 05:22 PM

When a female goes into a strip club, she always gets tons of sexual attention from the stripper girls. You see, being sexually abused by their fathers as children makes strippers crazy.

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
05/01/2005 05:40 PM

That's exactly why I always go into strip clubs dressed as a female.







Only problem is those little thongs don't do much to contain a hard-on, and it yanks that Frost-ing string up your ass like a cheese slicer.

Clint McSahara Hotpants 19,555 11
05/01/2005 05:58 PM

it yanks that Frost-ing string up your ass like a cheese slicer.



A clickie for the most disturbing simile today.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/02/2005 03:37 PM

So how did today go?

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
05/02/2005 03:40 PM

He called in sick! He wasn't here Friday also. Although, I decided that I don't give a flying Frost. If he wants to talk, let him. They don't pay my bills.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
05/02/2005 03:41 PM

I woke up with boobs in my face.

Mount Up on the Wings of Chickens 286,527 61
05/02/2005 03:44 PM

You have a mirror over your bed?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/02/2005 03:59 PM

2 - a whorey slut



Instead of a religious slut? I am pretty sure both yell "oh God, oh God." So it's hard to tell.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
05/02/2005 04:03 PM

You used A for one subject and 2 for the second, is this some new code, or counting system?

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
05/02/2005 04:06 PM

You have a mirror over your bed?



Yes I do, would you like to come over and see it? After that I can show you where I bury the bodies.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
05/02/2005 04:24 PM

Terrence-

Ha ha ha! Oh gosh that's funny! That's really funny! Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You know,I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Hmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference me being a whore before. Because that's what you're implying, right? Isn't it? God what a clever, smart person you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. That's so fresh too. Any Twinkie jokes you want to throw at me too as long as we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity. God you're so funny!

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
05/02/2005 05:08 PM

Oh yes, I'm 12! The only thing that sucks about that is I'm way past prime for Ollie.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/02/2005 05:11 PM

HAHAHA Chance is getting her panties in a bunch because of some NLI poster. Um, why?

TableTopJane-The Few. The proud. The non sequitur. 173,958 15
05/02/2005 05:11 PM

I don't drink because I think it's wrong to fill your body with poisons.



































































HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Damn. Almost made it through with a straight face.

Filly Harlot 39,193 20
05/02/2005 05:19 PM

I don't drink. Mostly because I'm pretty sure I'd act exactly like Chance under the influence of teh drink.

woodenshoes 347 9
05/02/2005 05:19 PM

Why I don't drink. Beer goggles

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
05/02/2005 05:49 PM

I don't drink bec- Yes I do what the Frost.

Vainglorious Snork 45,655 12
05/03/2005 06:34 AM

So, um, Filly, fancy a pint?

Phuc 237,919 21
05/03/2005 07:47 AM

I've been wanting to post in this thread, but because I believe that what Fluro said in the "Funny Suckage" thread is 100% correct, I've waited.



Now I am ready.



































Boobs.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
05/03/2005 08:59 AM

No I wasn't getting my panties in a bunch- that response was a quote from Stewie that I twisted to fit my comeback.

You know the one where someone tells him "You are the weakest link...goodbye!"

Its way less funny when I have to explain it.

Chance 171,275 14
05/03/2005 03:11 PM

Thats just blasphemous!

jxn sally 131 6
06/19/2008 02:27 PM

BUMP!






Best Chance-bag thread ever!

DemoMonkey is a monster. RAWR! 166,252 10
06/19/2008 02:44 PM

And you are somehow under the impression this will make Chance look BAD?

You really aren't paying attention to the target demographic here, are you.

BillSalamie 67,037 13
06/19/2008 02:48 PM

jxn sally- please state in a short essay, like 75 to 100 words exactly what you are trying to accomplish and your goals. I'm almost wondering if you were a Gabber in the past and just created a new account. Or maybe you're retarded.

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
06/19/2008 02:55 PM

Ah, a drunken, puking, lesbo-whorey stripper thread.

GAB had meaning back then.

DemoMonkey is a monster. RAWR! 166,252 10
06/19/2008 02:56 PM

...which are not mutually exclusive...

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
06/19/2008 03:35 PM

Oh I remember this.

Good times. Good times.

Vaguely Ravos 63,467 21
06/19/2008 03:39 PM

Some things just never change, eh?