Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/02/2005 04:14 PM

Yes. Yes it can.



</hypocrit>

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/02/2005 04:15 PM

No, Thats not a typo.



I swallowed my E about 20 minutes aWOAH!

Bankey 70,843 10
05/02/2005 04:17 PM

I hate to be the one to point out that Hurududududududu was banned only a few weeks ago. Maybe kittens and excessive unnecessary attention whoring threads really are comdey gold.

Bankey 70,843 10
05/02/2005 04:20 PM

comdey is Latin for 'pointless rubbish'

Zippies Drainage 2,735 9
05/02/2005 04:21 PM

heheheh





Whoring





Diarreah

Sr Zapato 349 8
05/02/2005 04:24 PM

I would start a parody thread called Sunny Frostage, but I don't really have anything more than a title and it would probably just add to the Funny Suckage anyway. I'd get no points for irony because I'm a n00b. Plus, I'd rather get bashed in someone else's thread than my own.

newwave 45,912 10
05/02/2005 04:25 PM

Good foresight.

Aimless 54,807 10
05/02/2005 04:26 PM

Sometimes I like to suck the funny. Just a little though cause I'm not a whore or anything and I never swallow.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/02/2005 04:31 PM

Sometimes I like to suck the funny.



So that's what girls are calling it these days...









it at least explains why everyone laughs at me naked.

the funny 70,843 10
05/02/2005 04:31 PM

Hi Aimless!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/02/2005 04:33 PM

Jesus, First you can't aim. Now you don't swallow. At this rate, You're never going to find a husband.



</your mother>

Aimless 54,807 10
05/02/2005 04:40 PM

Ahh Hat...been there done that and all got was this lousy t-shirt.

Mount Up on the Wings of Chickens 286,527 61
05/02/2005 04:44 PM

The plethora of parody threads certainly adds to it.



YES, IM TALKING TO YOU HAT BOY.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/02/2005 04:48 PM

Pfft, Look to the Shark before you check your Hat.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
05/02/2005 04:49 PM

This thread is ironic.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/02/2005 04:51 PM

<stoke the fire>



Chicken's last 5 posts have altogether yeilded one clickie of funny.



</stoke the fire>

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
05/02/2005 04:52 PM

I believe you're thinking of a black fly in your chardonnay.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
05/02/2005 04:53 PM

I was, of course, refering to the irony.

BobJohnson, Pope of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
05/02/2005 04:53 PM

It's oddly as if we all went for blood transfusions and got some of Dennis Miller's blood.

Fluro 14,139 11
05/02/2005 05:17 PM

Delicious Blood.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/02/2005 05:20 PM

No no.



Delicious blood.

DemoMonkey, Gracious in Defeat. 166,252 10
05/02/2005 05:50 PM

It's been several weeks since I submitted an article.



I mention that for no reason.

Mount Up on the Wings of Chickens 286,527 61
05/02/2005 05:58 PM

<stoke the fire>



I've got a full tube today. How'd you do, oh one click wonder?



</stoke the fire>

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/02/2005 06:04 PM

See, Now you just seem hurt.





We both know we're both funny.



When you're in the top 50 of all time, Its just apparent.

Mount Up on the Wings of Chickens 286,527 61
05/02/2005 06:06 PM

<action> knocks THE HAT off





Oh Shakespeare.

Mount Up on the Wings of Chickens 286,527 61
05/02/2005 06:06 PM

<action> knocks THE HAT off





Oh Shakespeare.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
05/02/2005 06:06 PM

I thought this thread was going to be about more clown porn.

Mount Up on the Wings of Chickens 286,527 61
05/02/2005 06:07 PM

Put it back on, I'll do it again.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/02/2005 06:07 PM

Heh.



Your paid-for icon is hideous.







Background crowd: "OOOOOOHHH!!"

Mount Up on the Wings of Chickens 286,527 61
05/02/2005 06:09 PM

your. mama.

Aimless 54,807 10
05/02/2005 06:13 PM

Oh no he di'unt. He did not just go for his mama did he?

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/02/2005 06:15 PM

He's gotta get in line behind Ollie and Virn.





Eeeeewwww....

Aimless 54,807 10
05/02/2005 06:19 PM

On a completely unrelated topic I haven't shaved my legs in like 2 weeks. I'm thinking of growing it out then selling the hair for tsunami victims who lost their toupees.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
05/02/2005 06:22 PM

Isn't GAB a better place with the Native American here to remind you that you lied, cheated, killed, rapped, and pillaged to get the land you are on?

Aimless 54,807 10
05/02/2005 06:24 PM

Not really, no. But thanks for playing!

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
05/02/2005 06:25 PM

I think they did more of a dinner theater cabaret type thing

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
05/02/2005 06:28 PM

Isn't GAB a better place with the Native American here to remind you that you lied, cheated, killed, rapped, and pillaged to get the land you are on?



Yo Yo Yo, gettin down in America, G.

Raise da roof on dis mothaFrosta

Peace Bitchez.

Aimless 54,807 10
05/02/2005 06:30 PM

<action>gently combs leg hair

Dead Robot 67,630 16
05/02/2005 06:37 PM

I save the good stuff for my own site. And I laugh and laugh...





...all by myself.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/02/2005 07:27 PM

Aimless, you are so weird.



(That's a compliment. This time.)

bignorm 874 9
05/02/2005 07:44 PM

Isn't GAB a better place with the Native American here to remind you that you lied, cheated, killed, rapped, and pillaged to get the land you are on?



We're giving you your land back one casino at a time. Sounds fair to me, we give you smallpox and alcoholism and you give us gambling addiction.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/02/2005 07:53 PM

We're giving you your land back one casino at a time.



Funniest line I've read since "I ate the living Shakespeare out of that burger."

Cannon Fodder 125 8
05/02/2005 08:32 PM

Much as I love GAB this thread seems only to be proving Phuc's point. Leg hair? your mama? An Injun speaking proper English and not brandishing a tomahawk in the general direction of my scalp (firewater affects the aim)? Folks, Funny has left the building.







And I'm sure as hell not helping matters.

GerbilNuzzle 12,005 12
05/02/2005 08:40 PM

Yesterday Bubble Boy and Corky Romano were shown back to back on Comedy Central. There's only so much funny that can go on at one time, people.

Sylvester 4,465 9
05/03/2005 12:12 AM

We're giving you your land back one casino at a time.



Can we start with the Bellagio?

millie 116,988 28
05/03/2005 12:15 AM

I blame my hormone inbalance.

daisypie 49,378 9
05/03/2005 12:16 AM

<action>watches joke fly over Sylvester's head...</action>Everybody whip it out and pee on bignorm for that post!







...clickie him, too.

Sylvester 4,465 9
05/03/2005 12:20 AM

It didn't fly over my head. I just HATE the Bellagio.

Doogler 807 9
05/03/2005 12:21 AM

I'm happy to say I'm part Indian..



The Slapaho tribe..



And you're all making me homesick.

Lost Sparrow 100 9
05/03/2005 12:28 AM

The slapaho tribe huh? I think I heard about that one time. Aren't they by Lake Titikaka? And are neighbors to the lickaboob tribe?

iam Straw - Ch-ch-ch-changing! 97,995 37
05/03/2005 12:38 AM

I haven't shaved my legs in like 2 weeks



I think I would be completely insane by now. I can go a few days, but after awhile I start to flip out. It feels itchy and unclean (even if I had taken a shower and just skipped the shave). I seriously think my husband must have hypnotized me so that I would never go natural.

Declan 'Gabriel Conroy' McManus 131,874 36
05/03/2005 01:23 AM

I could present a calm, well-reasoned case about the loss of the funny, and sprinkle in some literary allusions, and perhaps some word play.



However, that would be futile. Or nearly so.





1) GAB seems to be dumber.





2) GAB feels meaner. There has always been insults, but in the past, there was a playful feeling about them that is sadly missing now.





3) Instead of trying to come up with original material, or a new approach on familiar material, there seems to be little originality any more.





4) Poop is not always funny. It can be, but other times, it's just brown, smelly, and best disposed of rapidly.





I like this site, and sometimes love it, but it's a challenge right now.



At best, this is a community, and functions as a community, but it has not been at its best in some time.

Fluro 14,139 11
05/03/2005 03:25 AM

People used to treat posting as a more serious thing to do. Often, people would think more about what they were posting and say it, if it was funny or worth reading, and if not then delete it. Today's threads are treated like IM conversations, instead of a more delayed (read "Time to think about what you are saying") message board. You don't need to post the first thing that comes into your head. Give it a moment.

jclast 1,443 8
05/03/2005 03:34 AM

BOOBIES!!

jclast 1,443 8
05/03/2005 03:35 AM

<action>reads Fluro's post</action>Oh...this is slightly awkward.

Senior Destructor: Retired Supervillan 60,724 12
05/03/2005 03:41 AM

can someone call my phone? I can't find it.

Bothered 167 8
05/03/2005 04:10 AM

I'll call ya, Senior. I just need the last four. I'm usually pretty good at guessing the first six. Although, it MAY take a minute.

Senior Destructor: Retired Supervillan 60,724 12
05/03/2005 04:13 AM

What? Now I'm scared.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
05/03/2005 06:01 AM

Strange...there's been not much funny in the past few weeks......I haven't been posting much in the past few weeks...





Coincidence? I think not.

Phuc 237,919 21
05/03/2005 07:32 AM

2) GAB feels meaner. There has always been insults, but in the past, there was a playful feeling about them that is sadly missing now.



Frost off, fatboy! What the hell do you know about anything?<action>sucks in gut</action>

Mount Up on the Wings of Chickens 286,527 61
05/03/2005 08:43 AM

Isn't GAB a better place with the Native American here to remind you that you lied, cheated, killed, rapped, and pillaged to get the land you are on?





Ahh, good times, good times. Thanks for the memories!

Trixxie 65,026 15
05/03/2005 09:39 AM

I thinking maybe. ALL THE SEXUAL INNUENDO IS RUINING GAB, THAT AND TRAE'S TITS

Ditdah did Hat 123,110 14
05/03/2005 09:40 AM

Well, I went away this weekend and only checked GAB like twice. A few months ago I would have been on every two minutes. And I think I have like 3 posts this week - didn't even look ONCE at work yesterday. YOU PEOPLE ARE DRIVING ME TO WORK!

Ditdah did Hat 123,110 14
05/03/2005 09:41 AM

Please ignore the above post. It is stupid.



Thank you.

Phuc 237,919 21
05/03/2005 09:51 AM

Trae's tits...



That reminds me, back in "the day," in Brooklyn, we used to go to the Pot Store (a small retail space with, like, two boxes of diapers and a jug of Tide in the window to make it look like a bodega or something) and buy a "Tray Bag."



Heh. Trae bag.



Anyway, we couldn't figure out why it was called a tray bag until one day when we put it all on a plastic tray to clean out the stems n' seeds.



We were so proud of ourselves.



It wasn't until after rehab that I figured out that it got its name from the $3 price tag.

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
05/03/2005 09:52 AM

For as long as I've been here people have complained that GAB is "losing the funny" or that something is "ruining GAB". It's probably the same people who have been saying that "Apple is doomed" for the last 20 years. I'm not buying it. We have ebbs and flows of funny. Sometimes GAB is just suffering from a bloody cooch. That's when you step up and get your red wings.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/03/2005 10:02 AM

Apple is doomed





People have been saying the same thing about the Big Apple for decades.



Today they say, It's nothing like it was in the 80s with the clubs and the cocaine.



Before that, it was nothing like the 50s, with Ginsberg and Kerouac.





But it is true, this place has sucked pretty bad for about, oh, a year now.





Dogs Akimbo

GABbing since 2004

Aimless 54,807 10
05/03/2005 10:04 AM

Look boogers, you might not find poop jokes funny and you might not find Indians or fetuses dressed up like the Christmas poo funny BUT GOD DAMN IT LEG HAIR IS HILLARIOUS. Just rub your hand up a hairy woman's thigh and just try to not giggle.

Phuc 237,919 21
05/03/2005 10:07 AM

It's probably the same people who have been saying that "Apple is doomed" for the last 20 years.



Actually, I think what I've been saying is "Apple's for faygs."

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
05/03/2005 10:38 AM

GAB is always funny. It's just the "Matrix" of your mind playing tricks on you. Take the blue pill and all will be fine.

daisypie 49,378 9
05/03/2005 12:03 PM

All this talk of teh funny suckage, and bignorm still hasn't got a full tube for his 'soon to be stolen and used in a stand-up routine coming to a comedy stage near you' joke: We're giving you your land back one casino at a time.



And Spicey got nothin' (save my click) for: Sometimes GAB is just suffering from a bloody cooch. That's when you step up and get your red wings.



For shame, GAB...

clueless 115 8
05/03/2005 12:08 PM

Sometimes GAB is just suffering from a bloody cooch. That's when you step up and get your red wings.



You are the wind beneath my read wings - luv, clueless

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
05/03/2005 12:10 PM

Jesus Christ, this is like Nutbutter whining circa 2002.



Complaining about the funny won't fix it, it will only make it worse. It took me years to figure that out.



Nothing will fix the funny. It comes and goes in cycles, like El Nino.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
05/03/2005 12:12 PM

"Yo soy el neeeeenyo. For those of you who don't habla espanol, el nino is spanish for.. ... The Nino"





/Chris Farley

gorckat: Colonel Cracker 41,132 13
05/03/2005 12:13 PM

Let's play word assosciation:



clueless- death.

clueless 115 8
05/03/2005 12:28 PM

clueless- death.



TYCO!

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/03/2005 12:36 PM

The reason the funny is gone is because the Custom Icon wars ruined everything. And the only restaurant left is Taco Bell.



The influx of n00bs (me included) has led to stupid.



Phuc has a purdy mouf.



People are taking things too seriously.



Some people are having a hard time sharing the "playground"



Trae has a retarded kitten.



Some people haven't learned to wipe front to back.

Oscar Schnackenpfefferhausen 161,353 14
05/03/2005 01:38 PM

Trae, I followed your advice and took the blue pill, and now I have a big boner.

I r teh Derp 375 8
05/03/2005 05:32 PM

I've seen bigger.

Fluro 14,139 11
05/03/2005 05:50 PM

Traes tits are running gab now!?

Mr. Mass of Incandescent Glass 25,340 11
05/03/2005 06:26 PM

I think the problem here is that not only have you all been beating a dead horse... you've been beating it for the better part of five years. Worse, most of the jokes that come here in fact come here from other sources to die. So effectively there was never a living horse that we beat. We got a used horse to beat that was already beaten to death, and figured nobody would notice.



You couldn't even identify the horse anymore, unless you used dental records that have probably also been beaten to nothing. We're looking at a horse so thoroughly beaten, its component atoms have long since disassembled to be assimilated by other horses awaiting death by beating.



And, to prove a point, I'm sure at least 9 out of 10 are you are itching to point out that to beat or beating is a euphemism for masturbation. Yes, yes I know. Whack was out of the question. I couldn't use smack, and I'm sure a select few of you would even find giddy toilet pleasure if I had said "impact violently with inordinate and aggressive velocity until pain of death."

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/03/2005 06:29 PM

Wow. Your redundant use of the phrase "Beating a dead horse" is surely on its way to the Dog Food factory by now.

Filly Harlot 39,193 20
05/03/2005 06:31 PM

<action>leaves post blank. Stupid post.</action>

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
05/03/2005 07:20 PM

Some people haven't learned to wipe front to back



Wait. You're supposed to do what now?

JepRep - Limericking upon request 58,758 13
05/03/2005 10:13 PM

That one threw me too, Boob. Kind of explains my odiferous scrotum though.

Bothered 167 8
05/05/2005 10:17 AM

can someone call my phone? I can't find it.



Frankly, Senior, if I may call you Senior, I am tired of trying. I am guessing by now that you found your phone. After dialing random numbers over the last 2 days (you were not kind enough to give me the last 4, scaredycat), and saying "Hello, I hope I've helped you find your phone!", I have learned that people are not very understanding or appreciative of my efforts. That in mind, let us know if you find your phone next time you lose it, OK? If you still can't find it I am sorry to say that it probably never loved you and it's gone forever, brother. Maybe the two of you weren't meant to be together. (still talking about the phone)

turtle10 42,578 26
05/05/2005 10:45 AM

<action> arrives late </action>



Look boogers, you might not find poop jokes funny and you might not find Indians or fetuses dressed up like the Christmas poo funny BUT GOD DAMN IT LEG HAIR IS HILLARIOUS. Just rub your hand up a hairy woman's thigh and just try to not giggle throw up.

Oscar Schnackenpfefferhausen 161,353 14
05/05/2005 11:56 AM

Ollie likes small children. To have SEX WITH. ROFL

dropkick brody 43,090 12
05/05/2005 01:07 PM

<action> arrives even later, takes coat off, shakes umbrella and settles in thread </action> Whoa, you guys see the rain out there? Anyway...



comdey is Latin for 'pointless rubbish'



I believe it's iontlesspay ubbishray.



I learn everything I know from the Lion King.

Pubah, The Incurable 56,805 18
05/05/2005 06:59 PM

What wrong with Gab?

Gab lack JP!

That's what wrong with Gab.



Oh, uh...for the record, Trae's trecherously tantillizing tits are one of the things RIGHT about Gab. But that's just My opinion.

Graven Image of Snork 45,655 12
05/05/2005 07:48 PM

I miss Chris Farley.

MaddMatt -Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
05/05/2005 09:03 PM

I think the problem here is that not only have you all been beating a dead horse... you've been beating it for the better part of five years. Worse, most of the jokes that come here in fact come here from other sources to die. So effectively there was never a living horse that we beat. We got a used horse to beat that was already beaten to death, and figured nobody would notice.



I agree with you that some overused jabs have lost their impact, but, I have to disagree that the overall picture is so bleak. With so many turnovers in people, and part timers such as myself, a lot of gags, even though they are definately aged, become new again.



I mean that, with all of us monkeys chipping on walls, then writing on parchment, then hammering away at keyboards for the better part of 30,000 years, what could we possibly come up with that hasn't already been written? The answer is nothing.



We can, however, take the bits and pieces that we like and try to fit them in new and interesting ways. Another thing is that so many are trying to be funny on every post on every subject. Way too much stress. Sometimes it's just as nice to have something intelligent to say. Perhaps chat a bit, then maybe a couple of drinks, then wander off to a quiet place where no one would see as I whack my victim in the back of the head with a tire iron and steal their wallet.



But I digress, my point is, comedy is just like sex; There's nothing you can do that hasn't been tried before, but if you mix it up a little, it will never get boring.

Erotic Kake 55,555 14
05/05/2005 09:05 PM

The only problem is I haven't been posting in may too much.

Mr. Mass of Incandescent Glass 25,340 11
05/06/2005 06:20 AM

Comedy and sex are nothing alike. Sex is a fundamental necessity for the maintenance of the species. If we ever truly became bored of sex, we'd go extinct. On the other end, comedy is entirely frivolous, falling prey to a cumulative burden of hackneying and cheesification.



When all comedy has been exploited, expended, and finally expunged, we will be a sad and humourless people much like the Russians, but the sex will be great because it must be great. Always and forever.



Why are Russian women the most beautiful in the world?



-Because they suffer the most. Badum pshh.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/25/2005 12:02 PM

Didn't feel like starting a new thread to say the same thing. But it's valid. I'm bored AND boring and that's just unacceptable. If GAB were soup, today it would be a weak broth. Where's the lobster bisque??

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
05/25/2005 12:04 PM

I'm bored



Then get in the shop and make me some cabinets, woman!

Aroungry Aroungry Aimless 54,807 10
05/25/2005 12:08 PM

If your hungery Roof you can always eat my ass.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/25/2005 12:16 PM

Chris, I'm having a well-deserved day off. Aimless, all your posts make me aroungry, but that picture makes me whatever is the opposite of aroungry. Don't do that anymore!

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/25/2005 12:17 PM

I knew you ass was going to get bigger, but that much already?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Kake 55,555 14
05/25/2005 12:17 PM

I may just be retarded, but I think the opposite of aroungry would just be "Stuffed". you know, cause it covers both bases.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/25/2005 12:25 PM

Yep, You're retarded.





But its okay, Every time i see Aroungry i think of the word Hungry too.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/25/2005 12:39 PM

Hat, you're kidding right? Aroungry EXACTLY means aroused + hungry. Kake's retarded but he's right.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Kake 55,555 14
05/25/2005 12:40 PM

<serious>



Maybe the funny suckage is everyone treats this place like the Frost-ing Ya-Ya sisterhood now instead of a comedy site. It's all about "The community" and little grudges and relationships. People are lurking and not posting, people start the same old threads. No thread about anything interesting ever takes place, because the first time anything of any intelligence is discussed, people are told to take it "somewhere else". And you wonder why they leave. You can be smart AND funny. (see dennis miller, Daily Show, etc.) Any sort of discussion involving anything scientific or political immediately devolves into a slew of child molestation humor and Shakespeare jokes. I'm definitely guilty of it too. Very guilty. But the reason the same old threads come up is because the humor is based on the three same basic poop, child molestation, and inside jokes. Why can't we talk about anything intelligent? Remember our roots. We're FUNNY NERDS. Don't forget the Nerd part.

</serious>

I totally just molested a child with Brad Nails. Poop.

Oliver Chest, M.D. 203,475 12
05/25/2005 12:41 PM

If you don't like me, you can just say so, Kake.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Kake 55,555 14
05/25/2005 12:45 PM

I love you, Ollie.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/25/2005 12:46 PM

If it's not molestation, threads get fag-jacked.



You two homos better leave me alone in Boston.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/25/2005 12:49 PM

You may be a funny nerd but I'm a furniture maker. There is no place for that kind of nonsense here!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/25/2005 12:51 PM

Hat, you're kidding right? Aroungry EXACTLY means aroused + hungry. Kake's retarded but he's right.



BullShakespeare. I've always known it to be Aroused + Angry. Like Choke-Frost-ing.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/25/2005 12:53 PM

Silly Canadians and their neck tattoos.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/25/2005 12:58 PM

Search it, Hat. NKB first used it, then SHP, then me. I'm the definitive answer due to never crediting the original poster and claiming it as my own. Also, since it's in Aimless's name she gets some say in its meaning.



Wow, I sure am glad I'm contributing to today's hilarity.

gorckat 41,132 13
05/25/2005 12:58 PM

As long as people put things like this on the web, I imagine GAB will never completely suck.



SFW

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/25/2005 12:58 PM

<action> Choke-Frost's Daquan </action>

Ditdah, only 53 days away 123,110 14
05/25/2005 01:01 PM

<action> really wishes she had never started the Daquan thing </action>

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/25/2005 01:02 PM

Another case of drug usage leading to black on black violence.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
05/25/2005 02:49 PM

Something I would like to see would be a sort of competition with the articles. And I'm aware that they are already in competition for clickies, but I'm talking about something done invite only over a 24-48 hour period. For people who listen to Jim Rome, it would be something like the Smack Off. John and 4-5 other tenured members of the board could invite somewhere around 10 people to participate. The invites would be based on all-time rankings,number or articles published or any other criteria the invitees decide. On say, a Monday morning, a topic is thrown out, all the contestants would need to submit their article pertaining to the topic by 5:00 Monday for a Tuesday posting. On Tuesday, all the articles are posted and whoever gets the most funny votes wins the championship. You could post the top 3 vote getters. I guess you could call it the Zug Off, or Gab Off. It could be done 1-2 times a year.

Anyway, I think it'd be cool. So F-off if you don't like it.

millie 116,988 28
05/25/2005 02:58 PM

Hey, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. I just made that up--pretty clever, huh?



This whole thread is lamenting the lack of humor on the board. It's as if people are expecting everyone else to be funny, but are not trying themselves.



By the way, anyone living in the Northeast is exempt. It's been Frost-ing RAINING the whole month of May and it is impossible to be funny under these conditions!



But to the rest of you: What's the problem? I want to laugh, dammit!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Kake 55,555 14
05/25/2005 03:01 PM

Uh, Millie, in case you haven't noticed, We're TRYING today. And I'm exempt, because of the stupid Noreaster.

millie 116,988 28
05/25/2005 03:03 PM

Too many of us live in the Northeast. That's the problem.



I'm always funny, anyway. The rest of you just don't get my humor.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/25/2005 03:05 PM

Angry, bitter, middle-aged humor...nope it goes right over my head.

It puts the lotion on its skin 80 9
05/25/2005 03:10 PM

I tought this was another thread about oral sex with fizzy stuff in your mouth

gorckat will never be as awesome as BobJohnson 41,132 13
05/25/2005 03:18 PM

You know, it could just be me.





(Now, BIG is gonna post that it could just be gorckat and get lots of clickies. Froster)

Ditdah, only 53 days away 123,110 14
05/25/2005 03:19 PM

It could just be gorckat.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/25/2005 03:20 PM

I could be Dequan.



<action>reads gorckat's post</action>

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/25/2005 03:21 PM

Because I am a 6 foot black guy.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
05/25/2005 03:23 PM

How's about we call you re-run instead?





Ya' know, 'cause you keep re-running the same damn joke.





Daquan is no brad nails.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/25/2005 03:26 PM

Okay, fine, it's probably just gorckat.

<action>reads Mr. Sir's post, shrugs</action>

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Kake 55,555 14
05/25/2005 03:26 PM

Yeah, Daquan's gotta go. Let him overdose on crack, please.



Also, Gorckat.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/25/2005 03:28 PM

You have no room to talk, Mr. 14 carat.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
05/25/2005 03:33 PM

<bandwagon>



Gorckat, Gorckat, Gorckat!!!78!





</bandwagon>

gorckat will never be as awesome as BobJohnson 41,132 13
05/25/2005 03:37 PM

Momentarily, I loved the thrill of seeing random strangers throwing around my name on the interweb.



Then, like the sun eclipsing the moon's horizon and me with no reflective/protective visor, I realized that it is being bandied about in the same manner as supertukey, nli and SR.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
05/25/2005 05:20 PM

I don't label myself among you and superturkey, gorckat. I'm much more liked then superturky, and I'm much less bitchy then gorckat. Clearly I am a much better dresser then both of you.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Kake 55,555 14
05/25/2005 05:22 PM

Another thing that sucks is when people can't use HTML, and screw up their links.

gorckat 41,132 13
05/25/2005 05:42 PM

I really wish I could show my tits and redeem myself, but I'm just a fat balding guy. I'm not gonna get enough ottos from the alternative men to make it worth my while.



What I can do, pending access to a polaroid/scanner or digital camera this weekend is take a picture of me pressing the the sides of my belly fat towards my belly button- I'm hairy enough that it looks like a Poe when I do that.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/25/2005 05:45 PM

<action>barfs</action>

gorckat 41,132 13
05/25/2005 05:50 PM

<action>holds Roofie's head</action>



I'm sorry- would you rather not have to find a place for that in the album?

fabulounik 8,478 12
05/25/2005 08:08 PM

My biggest problem is that there's plenty of boob pictures in the album, but no Coleridges. SEXISTS! I WANT MY ColeridgeS

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/25/2005 08:12 PM

We actually considered Coleridges. But right now we're the equivalent of PG-13. That would put us at NC-17 and block even more people from gabbing at work.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/25/2005 08:14 PM

That, and CG is the only South Carolina Grad. And we've seen enough of him and his fat daughter.

millie 116,988 28
05/25/2005 09:14 PM

You know, Big, you remind me of my (thank God now dead) uncle who didn't know how to have an intelligent conversation, so he just made fun of people all the time.



The problem was that he stuck to the same lame insults that were never funny in the first place.



I freely admit I'm old and bitter. Pointing it out every chance you get isn't humorous.

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2005 09:16 PM

I think that Millie has gotten a bad rap. Millie is a breath of fresh air.



I love you dearly and queerly fair Millie.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/25/2005 09:17 PM

I hope at least that was the uncle who molested you.

millie 116,988 28
05/25/2005 09:18 PM

Actually, seriously, that uncle was a molester. He molested my cousins, not me. Luckily, my parents never left me alone with him.



Thank you Chance, you babe. I know you'll fight for my honor in Boston--you are going, aren't you?

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2005 09:27 PM

No, and I am very bummed about it. Maybe thats why I havent been gabbing lately. I feel so left out. I just wish I could make it.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/25/2005 09:30 PM

Chance I hope to take pictures and I'll share them with you when I get back! Also, I could call you from there and have everyone say "Hi, we miss you!"

millie 116,988 28
05/25/2005 09:31 PM

Damn it! I wish you were going!



We will miss you.

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2005 09:33 PM

YES! That would be awesome!