Zippies Drainage 2,735 9
05/10/2005 02:32 PM

I love to eat raw, dry Ramen Noodles out of the package, just open up the flavor pouch and dump it on,Smash em up, shake it up and snack away



And I eat babies

TableTopJane 173,958 15
05/10/2005 02:33 PM

I don't really do anything weird. In fact, I bet that most people who know me would agree that I'm the picture of normalcy.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
05/10/2005 02:34 PM

I post on an internet message board to try and accumulate clickies, which have no value in the "real world."

newwave 45,912 10
05/10/2005 02:41 PM

Haha, FREAK!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/10/2005 02:42 PM

I go to Sears to masturbate.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/10/2005 02:42 PM

... What? Their mannequins have nipples!

DemoMonkey, Unplugged! 166,252 10
05/10/2005 02:43 PM

I rub peanut butter on my genitals every time I hear "Moon River".



Breakfast at Tiffany's is a filthy, filthy whore.

Erotic Kake 55,555 14
05/10/2005 02:45 PM

I eat cold stuff out the fridge, pasta; any kind - spaggetti, macaronni and cheese, fetticinni with cream sauce; cheese burgers; pizza; vegetables; soup anything. Oh and I have ass sex with other guys.



That's so disgusting. I'm sure god dissapproves. I mean cold SOUP? That's just wrong.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
05/10/2005 02:46 PM

<action>Starts going to Home Depot to buy his tools</action>

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
05/10/2005 02:49 PM

Deviant porn turns me on.



A lot.

gorckat: Captain of the USS Obvious 41,132 13
05/10/2005 02:51 PM

While house sitting for my sister-in-law, I jerked off with her panties.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
05/10/2005 02:53 PM

<action>Waxes nostalgic for an old tv commercial</action>

DEMO!! You got your genitals in my peanut butter!!





".....Two great tastes, that taste great together......"

Ditdah - 67 days away 123,110 14
05/10/2005 02:55 PM

Someone want to explain this to me:



Fluorescent Sombrero

5/10/2005 1:42 pm

I go to Sears to masturbate.





Fluorescent Sombrero

5/10/2005 1:42 pm

... What? Their mannequins have nipples!





newwave

5/10/2005 1:41 pm

Haha, FREAK!



Was newwave in a time warp or something?

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
05/10/2005 02:56 PM

It was a just a jump to the left....



And then a step to the right...



Put your hands on your hips...



And bring your knees in tight..

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
05/10/2005 03:03 PM

LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!

Tinker to Evers to Chickens 286,527 61
05/10/2005 03:10 PM

I'm a Republican.

Tinker to Evers to Chickens 286,527 61
05/10/2005 03:10 PM

WITH A TEN INCH Coleridge!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/10/2005 03:11 PM

Thats pretty short for a rooster.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
05/10/2005 03:25 PM

I have to eat M&Ms in color order, even though I know they all taste the same. If I finish one color and move on to the next, and then find one of the previous color that I've missed I have to throw the bag out.







Then I cry and purge.

newwave 45,912 10
05/10/2005 03:28 PM

Ditdah, my post goes logically directly after Oliver's, but the server crashed as I was posting it.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
05/10/2005 03:29 PM

Then I cry and purge.





What a coincidence. That's usually the subject of my deviant porn.



So. Aroused.

Chi Chi Don Felipe 161,353 14
05/10/2005 03:38 PM

When I roll over in bed, I don't just roll 180 degrees, I roll over completely once, then settle in the remaining 180 degrees of rotation.

Fluffy 977 9
05/10/2005 03:45 PM

I always sleep on the right side of my bed.

Robin® 14,626 10
05/10/2005 03:45 PM

I disassemble kit-kats when I eat them. I also arranged coloured candies into patterns and eat the patterns.





Also, I live with SR.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
05/10/2005 03:50 PM

I sit in the 'cappers booth in the restroom and write overly long, borderline psychotic, silly stories on the roll of t.p.



Then I cry as the next person wipes their ass with it.















So it's pretty much the same thing as what I do here.

Erotic Kake 55,555 14
05/10/2005 03:50 PM

I disassemble kit-kats when I eat them. I also arranged coloured candies into patterns and eat the patterns.



I do the EXACT same thing with Resse's Sticks. I eat a layer of chocolate, then cookie, peanut butter, etc. They don't taste good the "normal" way.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/10/2005 03:51 PM

I shave my balls.

Bankey 70,843 10
05/10/2005 03:54 PM

I yell at people for eating candy bars in any fashion that isn't normal.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
05/10/2005 03:54 PM

I shave Hat's balls.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/10/2005 03:55 PM

I don't know how to do the electric slide.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/10/2005 03:55 PM

Now that you bring it up, I have a couple little nicks to discuss.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
05/10/2005 03:56 PM

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/10/2005 03:58 PM

I shot the sheriff, AND I also shot the depute-ee

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/10/2005 03:59 PM

I don't do drugs.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/10/2005 04:01 PM

Sorry BIG, Could you repeat that? I missed it while I was busy snorting crystal meth.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
05/10/2005 04:04 PM

BIG, you know alcohol is a drug right?







A delicious drug.

turtle10 42,578 26
05/10/2005 04:05 PM

I have NEVER done any drugs (except drinking, but I started when I was 21)

Chance 171,275 14
05/10/2005 04:05 PM

Wow I wonder how you got the name killjoy?

Aimless 54,807 10
05/10/2005 04:05 PM

When I eat chicken McNuggets I ALWAYS eat the skin off first then I dunk the naked chicken in sweet and sour sauce.



I still take the crusts of my bread.



I shake the milk jug before I pour myself a glass, something I picked up from my stepfather who grew up on a dairy farm.



I give my dog leg massages in the morning when we wake up because he like it.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/10/2005 04:05 PM

I once drove home drunk...





















from Baltimore.

Erotic Kake 55,555 14
05/10/2005 04:12 PM

I yell at people for eating candy bars in any fashion that isn't normal.



FASCIST!

Bankey 70,843 10
05/10/2005 04:13 PM

I've never snorted coke off a hooker's ass. Not a live one anyway.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/10/2005 04:13 PM

Beer is proof

God loves us and

wants us to be happy.

<action>ignores Erika's communist propaganda</action>

Ben Franklin

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
05/10/2005 04:15 PM

Right before I reach the point of climax during masturbation, I hit myself in the testicles with a hammer because what I am doing is bad, and Jesus will send my soul to Hell.

Bankey 70,843 10
05/10/2005 04:15 PM

WOW, Ben Franklin sucks at Haiku.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
05/10/2005 04:16 PM

I turn the TV to children's programming for my son, and then I find myself watching it even though he stopped watching 20 minutes ago and started playing with his toys instead.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/10/2005 04:16 PM

No dude, I do that too.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/10/2005 04:19 PM

So ashamed at my bad timing.

Bankey 70,843 10
05/10/2005 04:20 PM

And I know I've mentioned this before, but I sniff my dog's feet (they smell like rancid Fritos) and then inform my wife that his feet smell terrible.















I'm in therapy for it.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/10/2005 04:29 PM

The theme song to my life is mostly circus music and the Riverdance soundtrack.

PrincessBritt 4,730 9
05/10/2005 04:59 PM

Whenever I remember something embarrassing that I've done, I make a strange noise.



The noise is always different, but it momentarily distracts me from the embarrassing situation I was remembering.



I guess it's kind of like tourettes.

Bankey 70,843 10
05/10/2005 05:02 PM

Whenever I remember something noble and kind that I've done, I make a fart noise.



The noise is always different, and usually smells.



I guess it's kind of like gas.

Chi Chi Don Felipe 161,353 14
05/10/2005 05:02 PM

I like to tamper with people's medicine.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/10/2005 05:08 PM

I can re-insert my own feeding tube.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/10/2005 05:09 PM

I like to adopt kids...



wait, that's not me.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/10/2005 05:10 PM

Silly BIG, HighSoci doesn't adopt them.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/10/2005 05:12 PM

I was talking about Ollie, but I guess that isn't considered adopting either.

Filly 39,193 20
05/10/2005 05:18 PM

I have a life.









.....really.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
05/10/2005 05:22 PM

I enjoy checking out auto body shops when I drive by in hopes of seeing luxury cars all smashed up. Then I know some rich guy smashed his ride and had a crappier day than me.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/10/2005 06:19 PM

then I dunk the naked chicken in sweet and sour sauce



So. Aroungry.

asdfasdfkj 218 0
05/10/2005 06:24 PM

LOLOLOLHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Declan 'Gabriel Conroy' McManus 131,874 36
05/11/2005 06:17 AM

I brush most of the salt off of saltine crackers. That, and the whole kissing men thing.

Jajoba 1,357 10
05/11/2005 06:38 AM

I have an issue with the possibility of finding blood in my stool and check my wipes religiously.





Actually... reading that... it all sounds a bit grim.

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
05/11/2005 12:07 PM

I think to myself in an english accent.



I'm right handed, but I jerk off with my left.



I frequently grow out my fingernails. I find it useful for opening things and scratching people who piss me off.

gorckat: Captain of the USS Obvious 41,132 13
05/11/2005 12:08 PM

I frequently grow out my fingernails... scratching people who piss me off.



I'm just gonna follow you around today and call you a



fag.

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
05/11/2005 12:09 PM

<action>scratches Gorkcat</action>

gorckat: Captain of the USS Obvious 41,132 13
05/11/2005 12:11 PM

Behind the left ear, please. That always makes my leg twitch.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
05/11/2005 12:18 PM

Can't watch light in phone go off in the darkness.



And if I'm having a fry, I will section all the different foods into the same number of slices and have one of each slice of food with each forkfull. That way none gets left out.



*hides in shame*



Oh, and my excessive use of action tag speak in conversation.

Erotic Kake 55,555 14
05/11/2005 12:33 PM

I frequently grow out my fingernails



I keep my thumnails long, to facilitate the breaking up of marijuana.

Refulgent Bandana 91,274 10
05/11/2005 12:37 PM

You don't use a coffee grinder, kake? I'm apalled.



I have a long pinkie nail on the right hand.









I use it mostly to gouge out the eyes of seagulls.

Erotic Kake 55,555 14
05/11/2005 12:40 PM

No, I don't use a coffee grinder. I like to keep the buds whole, and just break off what I need when I need it. Plus, I usually just use a glass piece.

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
05/11/2005 12:43 PM

Settlers used to grow out one fingernail in order to settle land disputes. Whoever gouges out the other man's eye wins the land.

Ditdah - 66 days away 123,110 14
05/11/2005 12:44 PM

Do you guys really spend that much time worrying about pot?

Refulgent Bandana 91,274 10
05/11/2005 12:56 PM

I don't see it as worrying. Just discussing differences. Like mowing your lawn with a push mower, or riding mower.



Or in Kake's case, A pair of safety scissors.





Seems like everyone else worries enough about our pot consumption for us to even bother.

Erotic Kake 55,555 14
05/11/2005 01:02 PM

Yeah, we're not worrying. It's like when you're into knitting, and you run into someone who knits, or you eat box, and you run into another dyke. It's just discussing common interests. Some people like to waterski or climb mountains. We like to get stoned and eat Chee-tos.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/11/2005 01:06 PM

You shouldn't do substances that change perception or lower inhabitions or make driving difficult.

Refulgent Bandana 91,274 10
05/11/2005 01:07 PM

Like just the other day, I ran into this convicted felon, And we were discussing our Crystal Meth cooking techniques. I enlightened him on an easy solution to the problem of ventilation, And in turn, he tried to touch my wiener. So I stabbed him.

newwave 45,912 10
05/11/2005 01:08 PM

Like Viagra. I took one once while driving and nearly hit a tree. It seemed like THE CLUB had made my steering wheel inoperative.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
05/11/2005 01:11 PM

Men that grow out their fingernails for any reason are creepy and wierd.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
05/11/2005 01:12 PM

Pot doesn't make driving difficult. It makes putting down the video game controller and leaving the house difficult.

Calliope 927 10
05/11/2005 01:12 PM

I can't play "Heart and Soul" on the piano even though I've took lessons since I was 5.

Erotic Kake 55,555 14
05/11/2005 01:14 PM

I actually quit smoking pot yesterday, cause I ran out, and I'd have to go all the way to the other side of Boston to get more.

Ditdah - 66 days away 123,110 14
05/11/2005 01:22 PM

I really don't care how much pot you smoke. As long as you can still get me to the places I need to go in Boston. (You DID offer to be our personal tour guide, right?) The whole "growing my fingernails for seperating weed" think struck me as odd. Not that I would know - haven't smoked pot since college, and then I never had it myself - someone else always just handed it to me.



Now I just sniff drian cleaner. Much cheaper, and you don't get arrested trying to buy it.

Ditdah - 66 days away 123,110 14
05/11/2005 01:23 PM

However, it kills your brain cells so you can't spell simple words. Like drain.

Refulgent Bandana 91,274 10
05/11/2005 01:29 PM

People have a greatly misconcieved notion of marijuana. I'm a seasoned veteran, There's no such thing as smoking a joint and becoming stupid to the point where I can't perform daily tasks. But what do I know, I'm just an amphetamine chef murderer.

Aimless 54,807 10
05/11/2005 01:48 PM

When I buy bread I have to feel up every loaf they have to find the softest one.

Ditdah - 66 days away 123,110 14
05/11/2005 01:49 PM

Don't you mean "feel" every loaf? "Feel up" every loaf has a slightly different meaning...

PrincessBritt 4,730 9
05/11/2005 01:50 PM

I like the crust on the bread but my little brother doesn't, so my mom used to buy the Iron Kids Crustless Bread.



When we ran out of regular bread, I would have to eat that. But I didn't like it without the crust so I wouldn't eat the edges.

Refulgent Bandana 91,274 10
05/11/2005 01:51 PM

Thats the same thing with me, Aimless. Except instead of buying bread, It's when I pick my daughter up from school.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
05/11/2005 01:55 PM

Aimless, I'd turn into bread for you.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
05/11/2005 01:56 PM

But I would only be the softest one until you felt me up.



Then I would be the second to softest one.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/11/2005 02:07 PM

Although I'm not Canadian, I carry a change purse.

Aimless 54,807 10
05/11/2005 02:33 PM

Oh, I feel it up. I caress it, squeeze it's bread ass, pinch it's little bread nipples and give it a good smack just to show it whose in charge.

Ditdah - 66 days away 123,110 14
05/11/2005 02:35 PM

Can I go shopping with you Aimless?

DemoMonkey, Unplugged! 166,252 10
05/11/2005 02:37 PM

I just don't want her to cut me into triangles before she eats me.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/11/2005 02:39 PM

Sometimes you need to slap it up, flip it, rub it down.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/11/2005 05:11 PM

Aimless is solely responsible for my association between food and sex. I'm going to be afraid to eat anything near her in Boston for fear I'll cream my jeans.

Erotic Kake 55,555 14
05/11/2005 05:20 PM

mmm . . .creamy jeans.

gorckat: Captain of the USS Obvious 41,132 13
05/11/2005 05:21 PM

I waited to be 100.

Senior Destructor: Retired Supervillan 60,724 12
05/11/2005 05:24 PM

In comparison with the rest of you, apparently I'm wierd because I don't kill underage hookers.





Well, on a regular basis, at least.

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
05/11/2005 05:30 PM

In comparison with the rest of you, apparently I'm wierd because I don't kill underage hookers.





Well, on a regular basis, at least.







Yet !

Le Mime 994 9
05/11/2005 05:55 PM

<action>is a walking, talking, pasty example of all that is weird.</action>

Rocket Negro 124 9
05/13/2005 04:55 AM

I have this second job where I take pictures of my feet and email them to a guy in Germany, for which he pays me. I've been doing this for over 2 years now.



Sometimes I mail him used socks, too. He likes those.

Speedy the Retarded Mouse 33 9
05/13/2005 05:11 AM

Sometimes, at night, i dress up as a nun and lure young children into my lair with promises of candy and cookies.

Sharribarri 14,124 11
05/13/2005 12:45 PM

I have a friend whose sister is a foot fetish model. She gets paid to stand in buckets of spaghetti and sauce.



Her father is a pastor and is quite horrified that she is enabling others to get off for money.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/13/2005 07:13 PM

Feettuccine!

MaddMatt -Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
05/13/2005 10:00 PM

Aimless is solely responsible for my association between food and sex. I'm going to be afraid to eat anything near her in Boston for fear I'll cream my jeans.



MMMMMMMMMM! Creamed Raccoon jeans in a white Aimless felt up bread sauce.



Aroungry indeed!



But I digress. (again)



My quirk is that I have to be out of the bathroom, or standing on the bathmat, when the toilet stops filling after flushing. I think it started as a game, but it became a compulsion by the time I became an adult.

Robin® 14,626 10
05/13/2005 10:14 PM

I like crunchy sandwiches, so I would put my chips on my sandwich. One of my favorite combos is peanutbutter and Nacho Cheese Doritos.

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
05/13/2005 10:24 PM

Wow Robin, that sure makes Feettucchine sound a whole lot better !

I Am Straw 97,995 37
05/13/2005 10:38 PM

I don't do it anymore, but I once had a very regimented habit for eating McDonald's fries. I would eat them in pairs of the same size, and would start out with the longest ones, finishing with the shortest. If towards the end I wasn't seeing things line up, I would break them in pieces to fit. My friends used to crack up over it.

The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
05/13/2005 10:50 PM

YOU FREAK!

MaddMatt -Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
05/13/2005 10:55 PM

If towards the end I wasn't seeing things line up, I would break them in pieces to fit. My friends used to crack up over it.



Too bad you broke this habit. That is the ONLY way to properly eat french fries!



And you need to lose your friends. They're weird.

Sylvester 4,465 9
05/13/2005 10:59 PM

I'm so superstitious that black cats fear to cross my path.

I Am Straw 97,995 37
05/13/2005 11:05 PM

YOU FREAK!



Rick James saw me eating the fries and was inspired!

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/14/2005 11:02 AM

I sometimes double post and then pretend to be other people.

Traclo 82 9
05/14/2005 11:31 AM

Sometimes I double post to talk to myself because no one else will...

82 9
05/14/2005 11:32 AM

It's ok, I have the same problem

Fluffy now serving beer 977 9
05/14/2005 11:44 AM

<action>Shocked!</action>

I post on an internet message board to try and accumulate clickies, which have no value in the "real world."



Didn't the 'private policy' of zug state that



1. We dont share email ids.

2. Nor DNA samples.

...

...

193. A member of the opposite sex ( same sex if you prefer ) will sleep with you upon successful accumulation of a 1000 clikies.

Fluffy now serving beer 977 9
05/14/2005 11:47 AM

<action>Now disappointed</action>

Now how the hell am i supposed to prove to the doctor that i am capable of making another human?



Practice makes a man perfect... WTF? Women are natural sex machines or what?

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
05/14/2005 12:08 PM

I like to mix Pepsi with Milk, When I fill my gas tank up the total has to be a full dollar or half dollar amount, or end in 0 or 5, I am allergic to Marijuana I become violently ill with one hit.



I also like glass beads less then money.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
05/14/2005 12:15 PM

193. A member of the opposite sex ( same sex if you prefer ) will sleep with you upon successful accumulation of a 1000 clikies.





Sweet! Once I get 1000 I can finally get Robin to sleep with me willingly instead of drugging her.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/14/2005 12:19 PM

Good luck with that.

Erotic Kake 55,555 14
05/14/2005 12:21 PM

I like to mix Pepsi with Milk





Grossest. Thing. Ever.

JepRep - Limericking upon request 58,758 13
05/14/2005 01:57 PM

When I have writer's block, I go to Skid Row bars and try to document the hilarity of the underclass.



But if I can't get out I combine a fifth of tequila and a handfull of Ex-Lax tablets and just wait and see what happens next.

Smart Choice 1,296 9
05/14/2005 03:54 PM

I can't get dressed in front of my pets. I have even gone so far that I made the bed around my cat just so she couldn't see me.



I also can't put my hands inside pillow casses while they are on a pillow. It makes me feel dirty.

Hammerhead the Great 59,399 14
05/14/2005 04:50 PM

I like crunchy sandwiches, so I would put my chips on my sandwich.



I do this too. It has to be a lunchmeat sandwich and some type of tortilla chip, though. Dorito's and peanut butter just sound nasty.

I am Jack's Sperm 6,902 12
05/14/2005 05:05 PM

I like to kidnap fat girls and kill them and cut their skin off and make suits out of it and where it around.

millie 116,988 28
05/14/2005 05:31 PM

My ex-husband and I used to make up voices for our pets and have them say things to us and each other.



Also, if we were driving down the road, we would voice the thoughts of various animals we saw, for instance, cows, deer, crows (live animals--the dead ones usually didn't have much to say.)



For instance, a crow chowing on some roadkill might say, "MMM, tasty! Nice juicy maggots!" Or a crow sitting on the side of the road might say, "Humans, I'm hungry. Hit me a raccoon.!"



If this isn't already strange enough, I still do it when I'm by myself driving down the road.



If I stop by to see my ex and the cats, we still have them say things to each other and/or us.



I do a lot of other really odd things, but this is the one I've never told anyone (except my sister, who doesn't think it's that strange.)

millie 116,988 28
05/14/2005 05:31 PM

Oh, Roofie, no offense intended.

Zippies Drainage 2,735 9
05/14/2005 05:52 PM

My ex-husband and I used to make up voices for our pets and have them say things to us and each other.



Also, if we were driving down the road, we would voice the thoughts of various animals we saw, for instance, cows, deer, crows (live animals--the dead ones usually didn't have much to say.)



For instance, a crow chowing on some roadkill might say, "MMM, tasty! Nice juicy maggots!" Or a crow sitting on the side of the road might say, "Humans, I'm hungry. Hit me a raccoon.!"



If this isn't already strange enough, I still do it when I'm by myself driving down the road.



If I stop by to see my ex and the cats, we still have them say things to each other and/or us.



I do a lot of other really odd things, but this is the one I've never told anyone (except my sister, who doesn't think it's that strange.)





EX husband huh? can't immagine why







psycho

The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
05/14/2005 05:57 PM

I predict they reconcile by year's end.

millie 116,988 28
05/14/2005 05:58 PM

Which one, him or me?

millie 116,988 28
05/14/2005 06:01 PM

I don't think we'll get back together. But if I don't, I will probably stay single because he is the only man I've ever met who can put up with me for any length of time.

Zippies Anal Drainage 2,735 9
05/14/2005 06:05 PM

I've seen your pic, I think I could stand you for long periods of time

The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
05/14/2005 06:07 PM

I don't think we'll get back together. But if I don't, I will probably stay single because he is the only man I've ever met who can put up with me for any length of time.



Men have trouble putting up with you?



You're kidding, right?

millie 116,988 28
05/14/2005 06:08 PM

Aw, how sweet.



But you are basing your judgment on a photo with no sound or movement.



I think you would change your opinion if you met me.



Ask Donk after July (if he isn't successful in avoiding me, that is.)

millie 116,988 28
05/14/2005 06:09 PM

Donk, you aren't doing yourself any favors!

The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
05/14/2005 06:09 PM

You don't think I can avoid someone for 3 days?

I Am Straw 97,995 37
05/14/2005 07:00 PM

My ex-husband and I used to make up voices for our pets and have them say things to us and each other.



My husband and I do that too. I also used to "voice the thoughts" of my daughter when she was a baby.

I am Jack's Butt Hair 6,902 12
05/14/2005 07:02 PM

I do that now. I make up voices for all of you in my head.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/14/2005 07:58 PM

The voices in my head don't allow me to influence how they sound. They're pretty strict.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/14/2005 08:54 PM

we would voice the thoughts of various animals...(the dead ones usually didn't have much to say.)



Ow. OW. OWWWWWWW. mother-FrostIN' SUV!!

Piquantrax 8,691 9
05/23/2005 01:15 PM

Milk and Pepsi isn't bad, at least not with vodka. I had it once in a bar in NYC they called it a White mother-Froster.

Aroungry Aimless 54,807 10
05/23/2005 01:26 PM

I have a phobia about people touching my nose. If it is touched it immediatly feels crooked and I have to "fix" it by pinching it and pulling it straight again.



I also talk for my animals. My cat sounds like Cartman (and swears like a sailor) and my dog's voice is kind like Chunk's from the Goonies.

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
05/23/2005 01:53 PM

I talk for my animals.



When constructing a PB&J sandwich I must use a knife for the PB and a spoon for the J. I cannot stand the sight of someone trailing J in the PB or vice versa.



I peel off the "top" portion of the bread crust.



I apply ketchup to macaroni and cheese.



Ritz crackers and pepperoni make an excellent meal substitute when you forget to do the shopping.

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
05/23/2005 01:55 PM

Oh, and Trixxie dear, please be to checkin your e-mail.



Thankyouverymuch.

gorckat: Captain of the USS Obvious 41,132 13
05/23/2005 01:57 PM

<action>touches Aimless' nose</action>



You had a fuzzy on it.

Robin® 14,626 10
11/26/2005 01:53 AM

Bump

All Trixxie, and a Bag of Corn Chips 65,026 15
05/10/2006 09:15 AM

Bumpity McBump Bump

Neophyte 9,956 11
05/26/2006 05:04 PM

I bite my toenails.

Pumpkin Noggin 56,642 8
05/26/2006 05:08 PM

collect live bats

D.B. Cooper 1,800 12
05/26/2006 05:13 PM

I weigh myself before and after I poop.

Neophyte 9,956 11
05/26/2006 05:25 PM

I get a papercut on my aint everytime I poop into a paper bag.















Like EVERYTME!

Neophyte 9,956 11
05/26/2006 05:26 PM

I get a papercut on my aint everytime I poop into a paper bag.















Like EVERYTIME!

Neophyte 9,956 11
05/26/2006 05:27 PM

Why the f did it go twice there?!?!?!?

Scorpion 4,080 9
05/26/2006 05:28 PM

I live in a shoe box.

Larry with two ys 67 8
05/26/2006 06:25 PM

The voices in my head have french accents.



Pierre tells me to sniff highlighters and spray kittens with the hose.

ThirstyMcSurly 4,444 12
05/26/2006 06:44 PM

I have never looked at my Emerson in a mirror, untill now.

Madmatthew 366 9
05/26/2006 06:51 PM

I play World of Warcraft.



I watch Gilmore Girls.



...



In a small way, I feel that those two things are somewhat related.

Neophyte 9,956 11
05/26/2006 07:07 PM

"I play World of Warcraft.



I watch Gilmore Girls.



...



In a small way, I feel that those two things are somewhat related."



Do you also collect crusty doorknobs?

Yorkie Thompson: Defenestrated 60,724 12
05/26/2006 07:42 PM

Senior Destructor: Retired Supervillan

5/11/2005 5:24 pm[1bA6+kDS_5UmiYfpE+K9pw]



In comparison with the rest of you, apparently I'm wierd because I don't kill underage hookers.





Well, on a regular basis, at least.





Chit Eating Grin

Chuckleworthy

5/11/2005 5:30 pm[P_cl6O2Cc1jNIAC15tHPDQ]





Yet !











Man, Chit was sooooo right.

Yorkie Thompson: Defenestrated 60,724 12
05/26/2006 07:47 PM

<action>kills an underage hooker, adds it to the pile</action>





Makes a great ottoman!

Madmatthew 366 9
05/26/2006 09:55 PM

Do you also collect crusty doorknobs?



Yeah and then I shove them up my ass?



What the Frost does that mean?

Thud 68,468 19
05/26/2006 10:19 PM

Yeah and then I shove them up my ass?



What the Frost does that mean?



Just a guess, but I think it means you shove them up your ass.



Hope that clarifies your post for you.

Neophyte 9,956 11
05/27/2006 01:13 PM

Check and mate.



Special Thanks to: Thud

(applause)

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/27/2006 01:23 PM

<action>resigns his commission from GAB</action>

I can't believe I didn't think of accusing someone here of be gay as a way to get orbs.



Shakespeare.

Neophyte 9,956 11
05/27/2006 01:41 PM

I can't believe I didn't think of accusing someone here of be gay as a way to get orbs.



Shakespeare.



...there's another way?!?!

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/27/2006 01:57 PM

Sure. You can make fun of people for having the swearbot turned on.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
05/27/2006 01:59 PM

Actually Dogs, I find it is only acceptable to make fun of the idiots who swear bot themselves.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
05/27/2006 01:59 PM

Frostin Shakespeare.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
05/27/2006 02:14 PM

I noticed that a LONG time ago Pram. But for some reason they make me giddy as a school girl.



Before SD kills them of course.

SAVIORA Throws Knives 4,599 8
05/27/2006 02:21 PM

White guys.

Neophyte 9,956 11
05/27/2006 02:35 PM

ah-ha ha ha h....oh wait, that joke was at MY expense!









This is how I always breeding talk.





Emerson.

Neophyte 9,956 11
05/27/2006 02:39 PM

...Additionally, I think using the replacement words lends a touch of class to the proceedings, so Frost you!

Coltrane 192 8
05/27/2006 02:44 PM

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took both of them,

And that has made all the difference.

Crackalacka! 68,758 11
05/27/2006 02:53 PM

You people have taken a once funny thread and noobjacked it. For shame.

Fortune Cookie 171,275 14
05/27/2006 03:05 PM

How is this different from every other thread?

Crackalacka! 68,758 11
05/27/2006 03:23 PM

Chance! How Are you Today?

Neophyte 9,956 11
05/27/2006 06:40 PM

"Yaarrgh, I don't know what I'm doing" (dejectedly)



Special Thanks to The Sea Captain

Madmatthew 366 9
05/27/2006 09:21 PM

I think the whole great poet thing just adds to the effect. Its endearing to me to see "Frost" instead of "f***" and, quite frankly, funnier. People use Frost all the time, but you don't hear them talk about Robert Frost.

Summer Clad Bikini 62,262 18
05/27/2006 10:41 PM

People use Frost all the time, but you don't hear them talk about Robert Frost.



Exactly why my Literature Class last year was so hilarious. I'm immature like that. I also had a friend who's nickname was "Poe." It took me weeks to stop giggling about that.

Dr. Crazyballs 11,888 10
05/27/2006 11:02 PM

I never did like swear bot. Excuse me while I go Frost a cake, de-Frost my freezer.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/28/2006 09:56 AM

People use Frost all the time, but you don't hear them talk about Robert Frost.



Coltrane quoted him up there.

Dr. Penguin of the Arctic Alliance of Evil 395 8
05/29/2006 12:19 PM

I hang around shopping malls and tell children the truth about santa claus

ThirstyMcSurly 4,444 12
05/29/2006 12:23 PM

I hang around shopping malls and tell kids the truth about Dr. Penguin...

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/29/2006 01:16 PM

I hang around children and tell Santa Claus the truth about shopping malls.

GollyJee 520 7
05/30/2006 02:37 AM

After taking a hot bath, I like to smell my knees. They just smell very meaty and clean...I can sniff them for hours.



I also like to chew the yellow foam in matresses and cheap pillows. I went to a furniture store with a friend once and there was a piece of matress on display to show the layers. When my friend wasn't looking, I swiped it. The whole time we were in the store I kept finding excuses to dip off and find an isle wehere I could chew on my sweet prize. I ended up throwing it behind a futon before we left the store. She never found out.

lost keys 8 6
02/27/2008 12:00 AM

Every time I meet someone new I make a new personality for myself, that way no body really knows who I am.


I also like to be very silent around people until they say something about drugs like:
Bob: Hey Marry would you ever do crack?
Marry: No, why would you ask me such a thing?
Me: Why Bob? You wanna score some killer rock?

Ravos, The Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,467 21
02/27/2008 12:21 AM

I don't watch TV. I'm a monster! Don't look at me!

Chix in da Mix 286,527 61
02/27/2008 12:42 AM

I was pretty afraid of what I might have confessed in this thread. Glad 2005 Me was just honest and forthright.

At the time of course. I have thrown off my elephant overlords.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
02/29/2008 01:19 AM

i go out of my way to fart in my shih tzu's face, just to watch her reaction.

Chix in da Mix 286,527 61
02/29/2008 01:22 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH, you have a dog named after a grogan.

Pram 80,722 42
02/29/2008 01:27 AM

I like to animate gross stuff.

Today, I made a clay guy jerk himself off. Literally! He pulled off his dick, and then it went flying through the air like a piece of Jell-O.

Bean 8,593 19
02/29/2008 01:39 AM

I often rub my arms to make the hairs stand up, and then pluck the hairs that are obviously ready to fall out.

MadWorldsOdd 1,728 6
02/29/2008 02:00 AM

I enjoy Chocolate Syrup on my Pepperoni and cheese pizza's

Rene 1,810 11
02/29/2008 02:21 AM

Whenever I eat multi-colored candies, like M&Ms or Skittles, I have to pour out the whole bag and match up all the same colors together. Then I eat them in order from my least favorite color to most.

I guess I like my candy the same way I like my people. Segregated.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
02/29/2008 02:44 AM

pram, i too like to animate stuff, but i do mine in the form of gifs.

here is one (some people on fark were arguing and the guy said the girl's forehead looked like a fanny, so i made this, which got me banned for 2 days)
http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t240/drunkenmaxx/plop.gif

Marmite blocks toilets 12,955 12
02/29/2008 03:03 AM

I have a stupid phobia of hair. The darker it is the more freaked out I get. It's especially bad with wet hair - I recoil if I find someone else's hair stuck to me. I hate public swimming pool.

Gnastynate 80 6
02/29/2008 04:06 AM

I like to eat the middle out of slimjims before I break the skin on the outside.

I also like to fart in the bathtub and catch the bubbles underwater in my hand and snatch them to my face as quickly as possible.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
02/29/2008 04:16 AM

i stand up to wipe my ass because it grosses me out to do so sitting down

Marmite blocks toilets 12,955 12
02/29/2008 04:49 AM

I've always done that - isn't that how everyone wipes their cornhole?

Bravo Male 2,330 6
03/01/2008 06:23 AM

I've always done that - isn't that how everyone wipes their cornhole?

No. I use the sack lift/reverse wipe method. It requires far less effort, but sometimes, depending on consistency, results in smearing fecal matter all against, and through, my gooch hair.

I'm lazy though...so, even trade.

manhole 21,642 29
03/01/2008 10:01 AM

I just joined cafemom.com.

manhole 21,642 29
03/01/2008 10:01 AM

Fag.

5150 is really just a ripoff 1,692 7
03/03/2008 04:38 AM

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

Straw 97,995 37
03/03/2008 04:46 AM

<action>can act like she's 12 yrs old too.</action>
Aw, 5150, why you gotta talk about yourself that way?

5150 is really just a ripoff 1,692 7
03/03/2008 04:48 AM

Hey Straw, if i wanted a comeback i'd have made you puke.

syncope 49,019 14
03/03/2008 05:09 AM

Why the hell is this thing starting fights with Straw?

manhole 21,642 29
03/03/2008 05:23 AM

Hey Straw, if i wanted a comeback i'd have made you puke.

I don't even know what that means, so I'll just assume it's something stupid.

Straw 97,995 37
03/03/2008 05:28 AM

oops, that was supposed to be me.

syncope 49,019 14
03/03/2008 05:32 AM

If you and manhole are the same I'm going to throw up.

I'M GOING TO RETOX!! 86,705 14
03/03/2008 07:22 AM

I bathe my eyeballs in tea.


COLD TEA! (Hot tea would be stupid.)

Pram Sandwich 80,722 42
05/30/2010 11:27 AM

I notice that five-orbers don't mean Shakespeare!