Ditdah, only 54 days away 123,110 14
05/24/2005 09:58 AM

I have been told, by more than one person, that I am a virgin since I have not had intercourse with a male.



Just to let ya'll know MORE personal information about me...

dropkick brody 43,090 12
05/24/2005 09:59 AM

If a vampire can drink your blood, then a virgin you'll be.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/24/2005 09:59 AM

Technically, I'd say penetration. Practically, I'd say if it's okay for your 10 year old daughter to do it, then it's not sex, otherwise it is.

DemoMonkey, Unplugged! 166,252 10
05/24/2005 10:04 AM

Practically, I'd say if it's okay for your 10 year old daughter to do it, then it's not sex, otherwise it is.



So operating a chainsaw is sex?



I KNEW IT!

gorckat 41,132 13
05/24/2005 10:05 AM

If its something you would let your 10 year old daughter do with Ollie, then it leaves you a virgin.

Mr. Sir 66,727 9
05/24/2005 10:07 AM

I lost my virginity at ten,

because I fell on a fence post when I

was ten, and it broke my hymen. Now I

have to tell people that I lost it to

a wooden post I'd known my whole young

life?

Tinker to Evers to Chickens 286,663 61
05/24/2005 10:08 AM

Yah, the actual broken hymen thing is really just a technicality, but tell that to a hasidic jew who doesn't see bloody sheets hung out the window the next morning to celebrate the broken thingy.



And we've all heard that a hymen can be broken riding horses, or doing gymnastics. But serously, can you still claim virginity to any degree whatsoever once you've given and received oral sex, or even more so, anal? And what about the horse?

Phuc 237,919 21
05/24/2005 10:09 AM

Are you asking this as legal advice, Chix?

dropkick brody 43,090 12
05/24/2005 10:12 AM

Defile a Virgin (there you go DM, a parody-ish and no board hogging).



Anyway Chickens, I agree with anal sex being counted as sex, but I am not so sure if you can define oral in the same way. I mean, there is no penetration to speak of.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
05/24/2005 10:12 AM

I'd just like to add, that up until I was about 12, I thought oral sex was dirty talk.

Mr. Sir 66,727 9
05/24/2005 10:13 AM

I don't know about other countries, but with BJ's here in America, the penii penetrate the piehole.

Clint McSahara Hotpants 19,555 11
05/24/2005 10:14 AM

I read the title as "defile virgin".



I blame GAB for that.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
05/24/2005 10:15 AM

Define? I'll do better than that. Here's a picture of one

Clint McSahara Hotpants 19,555 11
05/24/2005 10:16 AM

Curse these slow fingers and the vanity that makes me preview the post to "make sure it looks right"..

dropkick brody 43,090 12
05/24/2005 10:16 AM

Well, for women giving to men that is the case (although it seems to be more placing than penetration). But when men are giving women oral (yes guys, that's not just an urban myth), is there really any penetration being had?

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
05/24/2005 10:17 AM

Virgin?



Your Mom.

Tinker to Evers to Chickens 286,663 61
05/24/2005 10:18 AM

Depends on how long your tongue is.

Tinker to Evers to Chickens 286,663 61
05/24/2005 10:19 AM

No, this is not about legal advice















yet

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
05/24/2005 10:19 AM

If you need a comparison of what one isn't, my picture is in the album.



But seriously....



I define virginity as someone who is pure in mind and in body. No sexual contact of any kind, oral included. It's along the same line as infidelity. The rules of that are simple as well - - no kind of sexual contact with anyone outside of your marital partner, oral included.



This subject reminds me of a thread I had meant to start...... STAY TUNED!

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
05/24/2005 10:20 AM

I would say that one loses one's virginity when another person brings them to orgasm.



Which means Mrs. Chickens is still a virgin.

DemoMonkey, Unplugged! 166,252 10
05/24/2005 10:21 AM

And we've all heard that a hymen can be broken riding horses, or doing gymnastics. But serously, can you still claim virginity to any degree whatsoever once you've given and received oral sex, or even more so, anal? And what about the horse?



If you're having anal sex with horses, your virginity is really a moot point.

Erotic Kake 55,555 14
05/24/2005 10:22 AM

I'm acxtually quite interested in this, because the age of legal consent in Massachusetts is 16, but 18 if she's a virgin. And since I never got to do 16 year olds when I waqs 16 . . .

Tinker to Evers to Chickens 286,663 61
05/24/2005 10:23 AM

Glad someone finally caught that one.

Tinker to Evers to Chickens 286,663 61
05/24/2005 10:25 AM

Whoh. Kake. Your state will let you have sex with a 16 year old IF SHE'S NOT A VIRGIN, but if she is, you have to wait till she's 18?



What's that a daddy get's first shot law?

PuggyD 48,304 12
05/24/2005 10:25 AM

I was gonna get all defensive and try and preempt any jokes about me, but then I remembered that oh wait, this is GAB, on the internet, and there are virgins here much older than me and therefore easier targets.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
05/24/2005 10:27 AM

I think of all of it as sex in the technical sense. However, I don't regard the first time I gave/recieved oral sex to be when I lost my virginity. I don't count the second, third, fourth, etc. times either come to think of it.

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
05/24/2005 10:27 AM

how would you define virginity?



go.





Virgin: One who doesn't go.

Mr. Sir 66,727 9
05/24/2005 10:30 AM

I was just going to post little quips, but what the hell...



HOLDEN

Wait, - you're still a virgin?







ALYSSA

No.





But you've only been with girls.





You're saying a person's a virgin

until they've had intercourse with a

member of the opposite sex?



Isn't that the standard definition?



Again with the standards. I think

virginity is lost when you make love

for the first time.



With a member of the opposite sex.



Why? Why only then?



Because that's the standard.



So if a virgin is raped, then she's

still a virgin?



Of course not.



But rape is not the standard. So

she's had sex, but not the standard

idea of sex. Hence, according to

your definition, she'd still be a

virgin.



Okay, I'll revise. Virginity is lost

when the hymen is broken.



Then I lost my virginity at ten,

because I fell on a fence post when I

was ten, and it broke my hymen. Now I

have to tell people that I lost it to

a wooden post I'd known my whole young

life?



Second revision - virginity is lost

through penetration.



Physical penetration or emotional?



Emotional?



Well, I fell in love hard with Caitlin

Bree when we were in high school.



Physical penetration.



We had sex.



Yeah, but not real sex.



I move to have that remark stricken

from the record. On account of it

makes you come off as completely naive

and infantile.



Well where's the penetration in

lesbian sex.



Alyssa holds up her hand.



A finger? Come on. I've had my

finger in my ass but I wouldn't say

I've had anal sex.



Did I hold up a finger?

(waves her hand)

Miniver 2,334 9
05/24/2005 12:11 PM

But seriously, can you still claim virginity to any degree whatsoever once you've given and received oral sex, or even more so, anal?



No, Chickens, I don't think one can. I think that people who do so have some delusion that they're trying to uphold. If oral/anal sex were something besides oral/anal sex, it would be called "oral/anal something besides sex."

gorckat 41,132 13
05/24/2005 12:23 PM

Like fellatio?

The Decked in Holly Priestess 59,003 29
05/24/2005 12:24 PM

So wait, I am I in the club or out?

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
05/24/2005 12:27 PM

Sex??

Is that what it's called these days?

syncope 49,019 14
05/24/2005 12:28 PM

I dated a girl who was convinced that she was still a virgin since all she had done was blowjobs and anal. She said she was a good little Catholic girl and saving herself for marriage. I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on seeing her eyes well up with tears when I told her where the term "sodomy" comes from.

Piquantrax 8,691 9
05/24/2005 12:29 PM

I'd define it as:

Hasn't got laid. Regardless of gender or whatever, just hasn't hit a home-run for any team.

The Solitary Snork 45,655 12
05/24/2005 12:29 PM

As opposed to the olden days when it was called...sex.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
05/24/2005 12:32 PM

If you've had anal sex you are not a virgin, and you are a Frost-ing moron if you think you are.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/24/2005 12:32 PM

Virgin is a large international corporation that includes an airline, music division, and Megastores.

The Solitary Snork 45,655 12
05/24/2005 12:32 PM

The Red Sox are all virgins!!?

The Solitary Snork 45,655 12
05/24/2005 12:34 PM

Seeeeeeeex



</Gpa Simpson>

Miniver 2,334 9
05/24/2005 12:36 PM

She said she was a good little Catholic girl and saving herself for marriage. I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on seeing her eyes well up with tears when I told her where the term "sodomy" comes from.



Okay, I'll admit I'm a cruel old bitch, but man, that's excellent! You will fit in quite well, here, sink-o-pee (phonetic spelling aid for GABbers who are not among the brightest bulbs in the marquee).

syncope 49,019 14
05/24/2005 12:38 PM

Hot damn a compliment! I haven't felt this accepted since the gym dodgeball team picked me over that kid with the crutches!

daisy3.14159 49,378 9
05/24/2005 12:56 PM

Technically, I'd like to get naked and have non-sex with any one of GAB's GVG girls...

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
05/24/2005 01:00 PM

I gotta find me one of those girls that doesn't think anal sex counts as sex.

The Solitary Snork 45,655 12
05/24/2005 01:05 PM

It can't be overly hard to deceive a ten year old, Ollie. Tell them you're a doctor or something

Dr. Oliver Chest, Ph.D 203,475 12
05/24/2005 01:11 PM

I like the way you think.

fabulounik 8,478 12
05/24/2005 07:11 PM

Ollie, Every 10 year old knows that Ph.D. is a philosophy doctorate. Try MD if you want them to drop their pants.

Oliver Chest, M.D. 203,475 12
05/24/2005 07:15 PM

I knew that. The Ph.D was there so I could convince them that what I am doing to them is ok.

Oliver Chest, M.D. 203,475 12
05/24/2005 07:16 PM

I HATE BEING WRONG SHUT UP YOU STUPID WHORE!! WHORE!

Whistler P. McManus 186,138 44
05/24/2005 07:38 PM

When I was a lad in Catholic school, we had the priests telling all of us to save ourselves for marriage.



Obviously anal and oral were allowed, because otherwise the priest wouldn't have taken all us boys for those private tours of the back rooms behind the altars?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Kake 55,555 14
05/24/2005 07:42 PM

Whistler, you're an Alma Mater of Her Lady of Perpetual Sorrow, too!!??? What year?

Spicey McHaggis 117,791 37
05/24/2005 07:49 PM

<action>opens dictionary to the "V" section. Finds the entry for "virgin". Sees his picture.</action>Well I'll be darned. How did they get that embarrasing picture of me in the tub?

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
05/24/2005 08:01 PM

A popular Polish rock band that was created in 2000. Its lead singer is Dorota Rabczewska.

The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
05/24/2005 08:03 PM

Dammit, I nearly wet myself laughing clicking on Nutbutter's link.

millie 116,989 28
05/24/2005 09:03 PM

I have to agree with Trae's definition.



My two older sisters went to a Catholic college and all their friends (and them, too)

each claimed to be a "virgin" just because she did everything but allowing a penis to penetrate her vagina.



It's ridiculous. What relevance is there to calling oneself a "virgin" if you are already pretty much sexually active?



What's the point of keeping this one thing sacred and nothing else?



You are either sexually active or you're not.



I was a virgin until I was twenty-one, by that I mean I had only kissed before that time.



Would you call a gay man who had never been with a woman (but had been with men) a virgin? No.



I wouldn't call a gay women who had only been with other women a virgin, either.



It's just semantics. It's pointless to define it.

millie 116,989 28
05/24/2005 09:04 PM

<action>is pointless</action>

Yeah, I know. I said it was pointless to define it after I defined it.



So sue me.

HighSoci 30,109 18
05/24/2005 09:10 PM

I don't regard the first time I gave/recieved oral sex to be when I lost my virginity. I don't count the second, third, fourth, etc. times either come to think of it.







So Erika, how about you come over and let me help you keep your virginity?

The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
05/24/2005 09:10 PM

According to Nutbutter, I'm still a virgin.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/24/2005 09:21 PM

So operating a chainsaw is sex?



Demo, I'm not into pain like you seem to be, but I've got a weed trimmer you can borrow if you like.

HighSoci 30,109 18
05/24/2005 09:24 PM

I once had sex with a girl that a weed trimmer would have came in handy.

Filly Harlot Strikes Back 39,193 20
05/24/2005 10:37 PM

As far as I'm concerned, you're still a virgin until a penis punctures the vagina or the ass. Blow jobs and oral and such don't count as far as I'm concerned.

Errol 10,584 9
05/24/2005 10:39 PM

As far as I'm concerned, you're still a virgin until a penis punctures the vagina or the ass.



A true poet couldn't've spoken that more eloquently.

Robin® 14,626 10
05/24/2005 10:44 PM

Personally, if you can catch an STD from it, it's sex. Oral included.

HighSoci 30,109 18
05/24/2005 10:47 PM

If a person has yet to encounter sexual intercourse, then they are still consider a virgin by definition.

millie 116,989 28
05/24/2005 10:57 PM

By your definition.



Not by mine.

millie 116,989 28
05/24/2005 11:00 PM

But defining it is pointless anyway.



Unless you agree with my definition.

HighSoci 30,109 18
05/24/2005 11:01 PM

No, actually I kidnapped that definition from a dictionary. By my definition, I am still a virgin since one girl cancels out the other and then on the odd number days if you can get off twice within the hour and kiss her three times before you use the restroom.... then it doesn't count.

DemoMonkey, Unplugged! 166,252 10
05/24/2005 11:03 PM

virgin

Pronunciation Key (vrjn)

n.



1. A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse.

2. A chaste or unmarried woman; a maiden.

3. An unmarried woman who has taken religious vows of chastity.

4. Virgin The Virgin Mary.

5. Zoology. A female insect or other arthropod that produces fertile eggs without copulating.









So remember girls, just because your abdomens are giant bloated egg sacs excreting leathery ova after leathery ova filled with drone face-huggers, doesn't mean you can't wear white to your weddings.

HighSoci 30,109 18
05/24/2005 11:05 PM

Oh yeah and defianately if the day ends with a "y" in the English language, it DOES NOT count.

millie 116,989 28
05/24/2005 11:09 PM

Monkey-man, I am being very careful not to type anything I may later regret...

millie 116,989 28
05/24/2005 11:10 PM

I won't have to worry, though; I'm sure someone else will see your name in a "virgin" thread and think of something.

Whistler P. McManus 186,138 44
05/25/2005 12:28 AM

My serious definition: if you can't do it to yourself, then it's sex.



So handies are not sex, but anal and oral (for all but a gifted few) would be sex.

Trixxie 65,026 15
05/25/2005 09:27 AM

You do all realise that we will never have a definative answer to this question until we successfully capture a unicorn.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Kake 55,555 14
05/25/2005 09:30 AM

Virgins are extremely ugly, extremely officious, and generally not much fun to be around.



They emerged from the seas of the planet Virgsphere, and gave up on evolving there and then. Only their stubbornness allowed them to survive.



They generally become bureaucrats in the galactic government. Their unpleasant demeanour makes them ideally suited to such employment.



One such Virgin is Prostetnic Virgin Jeltz, of the Virgin Constructor fleet. Having destroyed the Earth in order to make way for a hyperspace bypass, he then proceded to read some of his poetry to two helpless victims.



It is hard to hitch lifts on Virgin ships - it is only made possible by the Dentrassi cooks employed by Virgin fleets.

Oliver BobJohnson's Chest, M.D. 203,475 12
05/25/2005 04:51 PM

I'm trying to think of something funny to say about Kake's post, but I don't want to out myself by admitting I know what he is talking about.



But then again, this is GAB. Everyone probably knows what Kake is talking about.



Anyway, sounds like Kake still has his Vogonity intact.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Kake 55,555 14
05/25/2005 05:00 PM

I got head for over two hours on Monday night. How was the night spent alone in your apartment, simultaneously crying into your beer and jerking off to hassidic jew porn, Ollie?

gorckat 41,132 13
05/25/2005 05:01 PM

hassidic jew porn



emails in the profile!

Mr. Sir 66,727 9
05/25/2005 05:03 PM

I got head for over two hours on Monday night.





Why?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/25/2005 05:05 PM

Kake, that's just mean. Ollie wouldn't cry in his beer. He would let the salty drops of pain cascade down his naked body while watching homemade movies from his parents' honeymoon.

Oliver BobJohnson's Chest, M.D. 203,475 12
05/25/2005 05:09 PM

I got head for over two hours on Monday night.





Why?



So he could get some peace and quiet for a couple hours?

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/25/2005 05:10 PM

2 hours? Was something broken?

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/25/2005 05:11 PM

Yeah, Ollie's was ten times better.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Kake 55,555 14
05/25/2005 05:11 PM

2 hours? Was something broken?



No, the guy just had a lot of time before Fabs came home.

Chit Eating Grin 178,781 15
05/25/2005 05:23 PM

Interesting !





The definition of "intercourse" is :



1 : connection or dealings between persons or groups

2 : exchange especially of thoughts or feelings : COMMUNION

3 : physical sexual contact between individuals that involves the genitalia of at least one person <anal intercourse> <oral intercourse>; especially : SEXUAL