BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
05/27/2005 04:59 PM

I offer my talents to whomever wants to win.

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/27/2005 05:02 PM

1. What's the difference between "Pro" and "Am"?



2. Why can't we have the community vote on them?

Zippies Drainage 2,735 9
05/27/2005 05:02 PM

Frost yeah, I'm in!

Errol 10,584 9
05/27/2005 05:03 PM

Woe is me that I started gabbing in 2004 that I miss out on such an opportunity for apprenticeship.

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/27/2005 05:04 PM

3. This is a great idea.

Oliver Chest, M.D. 203,475 12
05/27/2005 05:04 PM

I put grapes in my chicken salad sammiches.

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
05/27/2005 05:04 PM

Anyone who has written an article is eligible to be a "Pro". Anyone who has NOT written an article, and has started Gabbing in 2005, is eligible to be an "Am".





And having the community vote on things has never, in the time I've been here, worked.



Let the strongest succeed and the weak fall by the wayside!

Neon Yarmulke 91,274 10
05/27/2005 05:04 PM

I could use those three phrases in the opening sentence for christsakes!



However, I'm up for it.



<action> walks over to sit under the Am sign</action>

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/27/2005 05:05 PM

Am I a "Pro"? or an "Am"?



Because I never submitted an article, ad I'm not that funny, but on the other hand, I just came back in '05.

Piquantrax 8,691 9
05/27/2005 05:06 PM

I'll be an Am if someone wants me.

(God, I feel like a media whore)

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
05/27/2005 05:06 PM

I summon, Iron Gabbers!"

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
05/27/2005 05:06 PM

That would make you "Am", Kake. And a kickass choice as well, because I think you're very funny.



I'm going to wait for a few more hats in the ring before making a choice though.

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/27/2005 05:08 PM

$100





I'm in.

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/27/2005 05:09 PM

I already wrote mine. Where do I submit? you guys can just put your pencils down now.

Oliver Chest, M.D. 203,475 12
05/27/2005 05:09 PM

$Fallopian tube



I'll play. As long as someone else picks the topic for me.

Errol 10,584 9
05/27/2005 05:12 PM

Am I an Am, or do I not qualify?

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/27/2005 05:14 PM

I'm a Protestant American

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/27/2005 05:15 PM

Does anyone else notice I get exponentially more annoying the last 3 hours of work?

MiLLie 116,988 28
05/27/2005 05:17 PM

I'm not funny enough, but I have good grammar and spelling. If someone wants me to edit their article, I'll take credit for half of the funniness.

44,452 11
05/27/2005 05:21 PM

Heh. Okay. I'm a newcomer, but I'll sign up as Am.

Captain Dan, Qwghlmian 44,452 11
05/27/2005 05:21 PM

I sign up as Pro and choose DCMIP as my partner.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/27/2005 05:22 PM

Wow millie, half? Its not like you're getting divorced again.

Filly Harlot Strikes Back 39,193 20
05/27/2005 05:28 PM

BIG, it might be a good idea to make sure you have a current will before going to Boston. 'Cause I'm pretty sure you're gonna die.

Lunch's Tight, Hot, Wet Box 14,650 10
05/27/2005 05:29 PM

Hat -



Want to team up? We can represent the Tooth Icon. And maybe some anal afterwards.



Box

Lunch's Tight, Hot, Wet Box 14,650 10
05/27/2005 05:29 PM

Plus I'm a television scholar - seriously - so I might be able to help on the topic end of things.

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
05/27/2005 05:30 PM

I sign up as Pro and choose DCMIP as my partner.



Who's DCMIP? (he asks, ever the dutiful straight man.)

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/27/2005 05:33 PM

ummmm. . .

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/27/2005 05:33 PM

I'm the ONLY one that got the DCMIP?

Bankey 70,843 10
05/27/2005 05:35 PM

I dunno, what's a'-DCMIP-wit cho?

Fratberry 282,940 53
05/27/2005 05:35 PM

I CHOOSE TOP!!

Fratberry 282,940 53
05/27/2005 05:36 PM

Um...wait a minute.

Bankey 70,843 10
05/27/2005 05:36 PM

what the hell?

Captain Dan, Qwghlmian 44,452 11
05/27/2005 05:38 PM

In unrelated news, Demo and I would have handsome, funny, and super-intelligent babies.





They'd probably get something from me too. Maybe alcoholism?

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
05/27/2005 05:39 PM

Alcoholism would be acceptable.



Just so long as they don't get your hair.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/27/2005 05:40 PM

It looks like I fall in the Am, catagory. And I'm a clickie whore, so I guess I'm in.

Captain Dan, Qwghlmian 44,452 11
05/27/2005 05:41 PM

Don't worry. Male hair patterns are usually derived from the mother's father.



My dad has good hair.

newwave 45,912 10
05/27/2005 05:44 PM

Professional-Amateur teams, is where the name comes from. In case anyone is wondering.

newwave 45,912 10
05/27/2005 05:46 PM

Also, I suggest that the Am half of the team submits the article.

Filly Harlot Strikes Back 39,193 20
05/27/2005 05:48 PM

I vote Cap'n Dan and BIG write an article together.

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
05/27/2005 05:50 PM

Also, I suggest that the Am half of the team submits the article.



Oh I like that. Consider that an official addition to the rules.

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/27/2005 05:51 PM

Will a "Pro" Please IM me later, and just let me write the otherFroster? I'll give you 1/2 the credit. This is perfect for you lazy and/or unfunny people!



Really bad if you're funnier than me, though.

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
05/27/2005 05:54 PM

I vote Cap'n Dan and BIG write an article together.



And continuing the golf analogy, Filly introduces the concept of "handicaps" to the competition.

newwave 45,912 10
05/27/2005 05:57 PM

I'd like to invite PrincessBritt to write one with me. Lord knows there hasn't been enough flirting between me and her lately.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
05/27/2005 06:27 PM

You: An Am needing a partner. If you have a good idea, but feel it needs some "punching-up", I am your guy. If you have been wanting to try to write an article, this will be a great way to get your feet wet.



Me: A pro with a far-reaching imagination. If you supply a few good ideas, I can run with it. Also, I know the English reel good. And I can spel rite to.





Email is in profile.

TEDphat 6,408 9
05/27/2005 06:35 PM

I joined in 2004, but I haven't been here since last summer (school is a bitch), so can I be an AM?? Can I be some PRO's bitch? Please?

BobJohnson, President of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
05/27/2005 06:36 PM

If anyone's interested in being on an autoclickie team where we rant about how CNN's Nancy Grace is to news as an annoying bitch is to. . . well, it doesn't matter. I don't want to get off topic.



. . . anyway, email me.



You'll be doing a lot of work and I'll be getting all the clickies. . . . But only if I like you. If I don't like you, I'll start a thread saying so and add your username to the Maharishi V.2 bot I wrote.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/27/2005 06:44 PM

I vote to be on BobJohnsons team. It just makes sense.



Plus, We can hang out and write it, I'll bring the snacks, you bring the movies!! Oh it'll be so fun!!















Hold the what the Frost on. Since when did I become Puggy?!

TEDphat 6,408 9
05/27/2005 06:56 PM

DemoMonkey, I would like to team up with you for a twosome.







Also, would you like to work together on an article?

The Solitary Snork 45,655 12
05/27/2005 07:02 PM

I can offer irrelavant consulting services for obscene amounts of clickies.

Zippies Drainage 2,735 9
05/27/2005 07:02 PM

Who will work with me then? Team Drainage? Sounds kinda retarded

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/27/2005 07:10 PM

I'm in, Box.



<anal>

But we gotta do it my way. I don't wanna be a part of some sissy-ass pansy Shakespeare article that nobody's gonna give 2 Shakespeares about.

</anal>



Email..

Coco 1,756 8
05/27/2005 07:11 PM

Sounds like a good way to avoid crucial revision - I'll sign up to be an Am. I'm willing to be pretty much anyone's partner in this - if you want to know the advantages of picking me, Pros, email me or whatever.







Sod University entrance grade requirements, this sounds like more fun.

Captain Dan, Qwghlmian 44,452 11
05/27/2005 07:12 PM

BIG and I have tentatively agreed to co-write an article. You've been warned.

Lunch's Tight, Hot, Wet Box 14,650 10
05/27/2005 07:39 PM

Lunchbox and Flourescent Sombrero announce:



TEAM TOOTH



ph33r us, bitches.

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/27/2005 07:43 PM

I am up for a willing "Pro".

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
05/27/2005 07:45 PM

I am up for a "pro" too.



Email me, beeyotches.

JepRep - Limericking upon request 58,758 13
05/27/2005 07:49 PM

I'm in if someone will have me.

JepRep - Limericking upon request 58,758 13
05/27/2005 07:50 PM

By the way, does someone assign a partner or do we get to pick our own?

JepRep - Limericking upon request 58,758 13
05/27/2005 07:54 PM

Hey Kake, I'm willing.

lycos 291 8
05/27/2005 08:05 PM

If anyone else wants to write about the need for a Mark Cuban-Shaquille O'Neal duel (with pistols, and a pirate judge) on live TV, then I am the partner you need.



Pros



I've taken all my newb-bashing immunity shots.



I have absinthe, in case we run into writer's block.



I have access to Cambodian breast milk. This comes in handy more often than you'd think.



Cons



If we don't win, I will hire either Mark Cuban or Shaq to kill you in a duel.

291 8
05/27/2005 08:15 PM

Come on, lycos. Let me shoot one now. Please?

Senior Destructor: Retired Supervillan 60,724 12
05/27/2005 08:16 PM

Setting yourself up for a joke automatically disqualifies you.

lycos 291 8
05/27/2005 08:17 PM

No way, Mark! I care too much about the welfare of all GABbers.



Seriously folks, if nobody chooses me, I'm going to kill Mark Cuban. Any Dallas fans who want to stop that from happening, had better team up with me.

Senior Destructor: Retired Supervillan 60,724 12
05/27/2005 08:19 PM

<action>shakes head

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/27/2005 08:21 PM

I'd like to announce that the handsomest and most talented people on Gab have joined together to form JepKake.

lycos 291 8
05/27/2005 08:22 PM

Whoops. I didn't realize that Demo had handed control of the contest over to Senior Destructor over there.



Oh wait... you mean, HE DIDN'T?



Then why would S.D. talk like he has any authority whatsoFrost-ingever?



Survey says: He's a twat!

Senior Destructor: Retired Supervillan 60,724 12
05/27/2005 08:24 PM

Clickies say:



eat me, n00b.

lycos 291 8
05/27/2005 08:26 PM

I'd eat you, but my taste buds are warning me that you're full of Shakespeare.



By the way, did you just call me a "noob"? That's rich.

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
05/27/2005 08:40 PM

TEDphat



People with no contact information in their profile are unlikely to find partners. In that way, this contest is just like online dating.



But with more anal.

syncope 49,019 14
05/27/2005 08:53 PM

I'd sign up for a ProAm anal tournament.

Ed Green 117 7
05/27/2005 08:55 PM

Looking for new ideas? Looking for controversy? Looking for great hair*? Then choose Ed Green as your "Am" partner!













*Quality of hair is not a guaruntee

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
05/27/2005 08:55 PM

Finding the "Am"s would be the tricky part.

Zippies Drainage 2,735 9
05/27/2005 08:58 PM

nahh, all of the lurkers would be AM's, and people just like me are Am's too

syncope 49,019 14
05/27/2005 08:58 PM

My luck I'd show up as a pro and leave feeling like an am.

The Solitary Snork 45,655 12
05/27/2005 08:59 PM

I could be an 'Am'.



Warning: I find the concept of 'work' displeasing. Hence the consulting.



Email in profile, I think.

gorckat 41,132 13
05/27/2005 09:01 PM

I guess I should put myself out there. I mean, why not be the last kid picked to write an article?



Although this thread reads like a giant sausage fest.

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
05/27/2005 09:03 PM

That's only because none of the women are funny enough to compete.

The Solitary Snork 45,655 12
05/27/2005 09:05 PM

Women suck.





Not often enough, unfortunately.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/27/2005 09:13 PM

Demo's right. The article in my profile was written by him and submitted by me to see if John would approve it like that. He did.

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
05/27/2005 09:16 PM

THAT STATEMENT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO STAND UNCHALLENGED!!

TEDphat 6,408 9
05/28/2005 12:57 AM

Dear DEMO, I have made a profile, albeit not a very fancy one. I have created said profile in an attempt to win you over.





Anally yours,

TEDphat

Fratberry 282,940 53
05/28/2005 12:58 AM

<action>slaps statement with a dueling glove</action>



Suh, I deman, I say, I demand satisfaction.

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/28/2005 01:00 AM

What in your profile, is supposed to win him over?

Fratberry 282,940 53
05/28/2005 01:01 AM

Well, he does have that "Frostface" thing going for him.

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
05/28/2005 01:02 AM

Announcing the official formation of superteam 4, DemoMonkey and TEDphat, into: Monkeyphat!



Your fates are sealed.



SEALED I SAY!

TEDphat 6,408 9
05/28/2005 01:08 AM

I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!!

</Titanic>



</gayness>

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/28/2005 01:09 AM

hey, other people did this, should we post our subject, so it can't be stolen?

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/28/2005 01:10 AM

could someone sober (demo) keep track of the teams, and post them? I need to update my files on who to make fun of when we win.

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
05/28/2005 01:12 AM

No. Other than the original rules (see the first post) anything goes is up for grabs. If everyone co-incidentally winds up writing about how "Lost" is really a metaphor for high school cliques or the fact that Ray Romano was actually played by a Dr Doom-like robot for the last three seasons of the show, then that's just the breaks.

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
05/28/2005 01:16 AM

Teams so far



Captain Dan and BIG: Team Lead Weight.



Shiny Hat and Lunchbox: Team Tooth.



JepRep and Kake: Team JepKake



DemoMonkey and TEDphat: Team Monkeyphat.

Kakey McKakenstien 55,555 14
05/28/2005 01:18 AM

very well, Demo, you may continue building your shrine to me. Make sure you're generous with the appropriate bulges.

Sylvester 4,465 9
05/28/2005 01:19 AM

I don't know if I'd be able to write an article in that short of time.



Right now I'm in the process of writing a major piece for The Salvation Army corps in Las Vegas for the Christmas season, and I'm about four months behind on that.

TEDphat (of the Monkeyphat tribe) 6,408 9
05/28/2005 08:47 AM

<action>Looks at the list of teams so far</action>Luckily Sylvester, it appears as though no one has asked you to write an article in that short of time.

Fluffy now serving beer 977 9
05/28/2005 11:09 AM

Bring it ON.. anyone pairing?

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
05/28/2005 11:28 AM

I will join in as a Pro (shut your cakehole, BIG)if I can get an Am to assist.

PrincessBritt 4,730 9
05/28/2005 12:18 PM

Okay newwave, I'll write an article with you.



But I get to be the boss and you have to do everything I say.

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
05/28/2005 01:20 PM

Trae/Fabs = Team Tatas

DemoMonkey, Unplugged! 166,252 10
05/28/2005 01:24 PM

Gumball.



GUMBALL.



GUMBALL!

newwave 45,912 10
05/28/2005 02:19 PM

But I get to be the boss and you have to do everything I say.



I wouldn't expect it any other way.

BobJohnson, President of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
05/28/2005 03:11 PM

I'd like to announce that The Mighty BobJohnson, Funkmaster, has agreed to take the lowly Jannie under his wing. It's team Awesometastic.



Some of you may want to argue about Jannie being an Am. . . but she's never written an article. Well, never one that was approved.



Plus, she and I both agree that she qualifies, and arguing with Team Awesometastic is just begging for trouble.

Rob Borer 958 8
05/28/2005 03:22 PM

Jeff has agreed to be my teammate!* Our** article will be submitted as soon as it is written, and will appear on the main page. I'm pretty sure it's going to be some kind of a prank, but it may just be a funny anecdote, most likely about food.***





* Lies

** More Lies

*** Jeff doesn't watch much television

DemoMonkey, Unplugged! 166,252 10
05/28/2005 03:31 PM

I used the "awe" word twice in conversation today.



I sent Bob a dollar.

Pistolet 10,071 9
05/28/2005 03:57 PM

Alcoholism would be acceptable.



Just so long as they don't get your hair.



But if they got your hair, Demo, they'd be bald.

DemoMonkey, Unplugged! 166,252 10
05/28/2005 04:09 PM

HAH! Shows what you know. I have lovely hair.



I'm a repellant troglodyte in every other respect, of course. But balding, I aint.

Pistolet 10,071 9
05/28/2005 04:10 PM

Hence the crown covering a convenient spot on the back of your head.

TEDphat (of the Monkeyphat tribe) 6,408 9
05/28/2005 06:10 PM

Oh Demo, is that really a picture of you? I thought it was just a cartoonistic icon. My bad.

</sarcasm>

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/28/2005 06:53 PM

I will join in as a Pro (shut your cakehole, BIG)



<action>just laughs and laughs</action>

EllaPhant 800 8
05/28/2005 07:18 PM

I wanna be an Am! Anyone who wants to team up with me, please email me? ellalow@gmail.com

EllaPhant 800 8
05/28/2005 07:29 PM

Trae, you and I should enter as representatives of all female gabbers everywhere.

EllaPhant 800 8
05/28/2005 08:31 PM

....am I that repellant?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/28/2005 08:34 PM

I lost my Trae of thought



5/28/2005 12:20 pm [GgFyiSPIa5uf_ELFqCP_aA]





Trae/Fabs = Team Tatas



No, just stupid.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/28/2005 08:35 PM

She already said she has a partner. Fabs. Read.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
05/28/2005 08:36 PM

Or what he said.

EllaPhant 800 8
05/28/2005 08:37 PM

saw that, just didnt see them on the official list, so I thought the plans fell through. oh well.



Any other takers? I'm pretty good at taking direction.

Pistolet 10,071 9
05/29/2005 01:48 AM

I know this thread is old and my post is irrelevent to the topic, but I just have to say this.



Tedphat.



You're dumb.

Sylvester 4,465 9
05/29/2005 02:58 AM

I'd better elaborate on the piece I'm writing. It's a Christmas Oratorio for this year's Christmas Eve service. I've got about half of the libretto finished, but the music has yet to be written. I'm choosing three sources that I want to use for models for this piece:



J. S. Bach: Christmas Oratorio (BWV 248)

Handel's Messiah

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow: "Christus: A Mystery"



What's worse is that I want to take the time to make sure that this one isn't another half-assed attempt on another major poetic piece. That's the main reason I'm so far behind on the work.

Box, here to be jizzed in 14,650 10
05/29/2005 04:30 AM

<action>snickers.</action>



So who wants Sylvester on their team? Anyone?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/29/2005 04:34 AM

When someone who plays for both teams think you suck its time for the wrist violin lessons.



Remember, down the highway, not cross the street.

$t3r30typ1c4l N00b 3 7
05/29/2005 05:00 AM

I'll sell you my soul for a good Pro. And maybe a copy of the movie Mystery Men.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/29/2005 05:01 AM

Too bad Trae has a patner, I heard she's a great Pro.

$t3r30typ1c4l N00b 3 7
05/29/2005 05:08 AM

I just noticed something. Filling up my gas turns me on.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/29/2005 05:11 AM

That's funny, filly getting gas turns the rest of us on.

$t3r30typ1c4l N00b 3 7
05/29/2005 05:24 AM

Come on pros! You just gonna leave me hangin? I am not a penis! I just act like one!







I feel like a whore. Mixed with a penis.

Box, here to be jizzed in 14,650 10
05/29/2005 05:53 AM

How about you turn your dipShakespeare username into something we can Frost-ing read? After that, launch a campaign of flirting with some of the top-notch tail of GAB and go on a quest for teh funy. After that, contemplate doorknob/ass physics and get in line behind all the other noobs waiting to kiss a Pro's ass.



/hamerhead

TEAM TOOTH WILL FUCK. YOUR. FACE. 14,650 10
05/29/2005 06:05 AM

read the name you 1337 u|\|+

Sylvester 4,465 9
05/29/2005 08:32 PM

So who wants Sylvester on their team? Anyone?



At times even I don't even want to be on my own team. Trust me, I'm my own worst literary critic. I've actually had won a couple of awards for my writings, on pieces I thought reeked of cowpies, at my high school. Plus, I was offered a full journalism scholarship due to it, and foolishly turned it down. Looking back, I should have taken that scholarship.

Sylvester 4,465 9
05/29/2005 08:34 PM

Consider, this was back in 1985.

gwallaia 3,510 12
05/29/2005 08:54 PM

I'm new to the board but I'm ready to contribute.

Oliver Chest, M.D. 203,475 12
05/29/2005 09:10 PM

THIS JUST IN: Coco will be stimulating Oliver's prostate in the brand new summer blockbuster "Oliver Coco's Chest!"



It's a must see! Bring the family!*



*only bring the family if your family consists of hookers and junkies

Captain Dan, Qwghlmian 44,452 11
05/29/2005 09:34 PM

Sylvester's post reminds me of when I won my own high school writing contest.



In 9th grade English, my teacher was a former amateur-league basketball player who dabbled in emo-poetry. How Mr. Brown had landed a gig as English teacher I do not know, though I suspect his knees were scuffed during the job interview.



The point is, he was an illiterate buffoon. He thought that Aldous Huxley was a winger for the Mighty Ducks. Often times, he corrected my essays encouraging me to "dumb them down."



Anyway, towards the end of the year there was a school-wide contest to write about the Navajo language used as code in World War II (see Windtalkers if you want an inaccurate representation of this). I submitted an insightful, shamelessly bathetic essay designed to bring me the $100 prize.



I won. My essay got published for all to see. It was posted on the school's entrance hall.



Eventually, someone read it closely though. They noticed the message that I had encoded in my essay: taking the first letter of each word in my introductory paragraph, I had spelled out

Brown is a pederast

DemoMonkey, Unplugged! 166,252 10
05/29/2005 09:38 PM

Captain Dan





I must break you.





DragoMonkey

dropkick brody 43,090 12
05/29/2005 09:40 PM

<action> quickly looks up dictionaryDOTcom </action> Absolutely excellent accomplished, admirable, attractive, capital, certified, champion, choice, choicest, desirable, distinctive, distinguished, estimable, exceptional, exemplary, exquisite, fine, finest, first, first-class, first-rate, good, great, high, incomparable, invaluable, magnificent, meritorious, notable, noted, outstanding, peerless, piked, premium, priceless, prime, select, skillful, skookum, sterling, striking, superb, superlative, supreme, tiptop, top-notch, transcendent, wonderful.



Ahem, the dictionary website has a thesaurus too. I like skookum the best.

Captain Dan, Qwghlmian 44,452 11
05/29/2005 09:41 PM

DragoMonkey,



I'm trying to clickie you. But I see three smiley faces! Which one do I hit?

DemoMonkey, Unplugged! 166,252 10
05/29/2005 09:46 PM

The one beside BobJohnsons name.

Steaming Pile 298 9
05/29/2005 10:12 PM

Humble suggestion for an article topic:



The voice of Knight Rider is also "Boy Meets World" teacher Mr. Feeny. Discuss.

Lucky Jones 77,546 17
05/29/2005 10:14 PM

He was also one of the pretentious doctors on St. Elsewhere, which was set in Boston.



So, in short, John knows KITT.

Sylvester 4,465 9
05/30/2005 02:29 AM

Sylvester's post reminds me of when I won my own high school writing contest.



In 9th grade English



Mine was in 10th grade honors English.



It wound up being the highlight of my entire stay in that high school. Unless you include the fact that I hold the all-time record for never being on time at that school, and about six redheads that wouldn't leave me alone.

TableTopJane and the Sucky Vortex of Suckitude 173,958 15
05/30/2005 09:47 PM

Odd. I could have sworn I already posted this, but I don't see it. So I'll do it again.



I would love to write an article. I just need a pro. I think I'm still an am because I've never published one.

Smart Choice 1,296 9
05/30/2005 10:33 PM

I say all members of gab get to vote in a thread in which the only words to be spoken typed are yay or nay. IF we say anything else in that thread you will only then extensivly maha that gabber.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
05/31/2005 07:27 PM

<action>only reads the first post...</action>Woo-Hoo! I qualify as a PRO!

TableTopJane 173,958 15
05/31/2005 08:17 PM

<action>curls into the fetal position</action>Fine. My feelings aren't hurt that nobody wants to write with me.

Mister Blister 77,546 17
05/31/2005 09:56 PM

My articles suck.



Does that make me an AM?

gwallaia 3,510 12
05/31/2005 10:20 PM

So what happens, you sit here all alone waiting for a Pro to raise his/ her hand above your head?

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
06/01/2005 09:35 AM

Bump, because there is still time to get matched up. Articles aren't due until the 10'th.



Remember, if you're a Pro, you're the easy girl at the dance; pick whoever you want, there's plenty of willing Am's.











(Now if only MY partner would answer YIM then we could get started on humiliating you all.)

Orfinked Chickens 286,527 61
06/01/2005 09:50 AM

I have one semi-funny article. Am I already a pro. Damn this prostitution thing is a fast downhill slide.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
06/01/2005 10:12 AM

I have one not funny article. That makes me a pro and an am. Somebody freaking pair up with me. You don't have to like me, like Vito Corleone said it's business.

Orfinked Chickens 286,527 61
06/01/2005 10:43 AM

Okay, I'm assuming I'm a pro. where's the list of amatures to choose from. I need one who can spel.

Orfinked Chickens 286,527 61
06/01/2005 10:44 AM

and insert capitols and question marks where appropriate.

Orfinked Chickens 286,527 61
06/01/2005 10:44 AM

and gives great head.

DemoMonkey, Vaultmaster. 166,252 10
06/01/2005 10:45 AM

That narrows it down to gorckat.

TEDphatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt 6,408 9
06/01/2005 10:46 AM

DEMO, google isn't actual my YIM name. I don't do that. That's why I asked you to e-mail me ages ago.

gorckat 41,132 13
06/01/2005 10:48 AM

<action>heard his name called, pulls out mouthopiece, drools</action>



TIMMY SPEL wRITE!

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
06/01/2005 10:53 AM

Aw man, I gave Gorckat an otto.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
06/01/2005 10:55 AM

<action> sits in corner and sobs quietly...</action>

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/01/2005 10:57 AM

If any Pro still needs/wants a partner, I'll sign up as an Am. I don't know how funny I am, but I watch an obscene amount of television.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
06/01/2005 11:00 AM

Erika, I will work with you, if interested.



Email in profile.

Lunch's Tight, Hot, Wet Box 14,650 10
06/01/2005 07:43 PM

Hat and I are on draft one so far, and let's just say Team Tooth is more impressive than a Roofietit.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/01/2005 07:46 PM

Wow!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
06/01/2005 07:46 PM

and Much chompier!

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/01/2005 07:53 PM

A drunk Irishman and a lazy college kid...yeah, we haven't started.

Mister Blister 77,546 17
06/01/2005 09:05 PM

I'd do this, but I have all the creativity of a tree sloth.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
06/01/2005 11:49 PM

Looking back, I should have taken that scholarship.



You misspelled "gas pipe."

Rep. Jep Rep. 007 58,758 13
06/02/2005 12:25 AM

Aw man, I gave Gorckat an otto.



Don't sweat it. I accidentally gave you one a few weeks ago. Hopefully, I made up for it by clicking the Shakespeare out of everything else you posted in the thread.



For the record though Mr. Sir, I'm sweating your entry into the fray. You're a fine writer. Good Luck.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/02/2005 12:26 AM

Um JepRep...you know an otto is a smiley face, right?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/02/2005 12:29 AM

I click your icon everytime you post, Erika, it just doesn't seem to do anything.

Rep. Jep Rep. 007 58,758 13
06/02/2005 12:29 AM

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!



Sorry, I still have the guilt complex from accidentally mahaing Mr. Sir. Freudian slip.

MiLLie 116,988 28
06/02/2005 12:30 AM

Shoot, it was funnier when I thought you accidentally gave him a clickie.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/02/2005 12:31 AM

That's because you don't click it right BIG. You click it to hard, you need to click it a little softer, tease it a little.





...Wait, what were we talking about?

Rep. Jep Rep. 007 58,758 13
06/02/2005 12:35 AM

Shoot, it was funnier when I thought you accidentally gave him a clickie.



It probably would have been and I probably would have posted it that way if I didn't feel so guilty about doing it. Damn, who would have thought one mis-click could cause so much guilt? I must be a latent Catholic or something.

Kake 55,555 14
06/09/2005 11:44 AM

REMINDER: 24 hours.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
06/09/2005 12:09 PM

No email from Box.





Looks like I'm just gonna have to submit my crappy version of the article.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
06/09/2005 12:12 PM

I hadn't see the end of this thread, and had missed Jep's posts.



Thanks for the compliment, Jep. The Erika/Mr. Sir collaboration is outside of my normal genre of writing, though, so it will not have my normal "voice".



By the way, Erika told me that she thought you all write like third-graders, and she single-handedly would hand all of you your asses in this competition.**

I hope I'm not breaking a confidence by telling you all that she has written the funniest story of all time.





And Millie, thank you for being you.





































**The contents of this paragraph are a figment of my imagination.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/09/2005 12:14 PM

Mr. Sir check your email.





And yes, asses will be properly kicked.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/09/2005 12:20 PM

Taking smack about an essay contest...





















the scraping sound you hear is the bottom of the barrel.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/09/2005 12:21 PM

Oh sorry BIG, is all the noise above your head keeping you up?

Kake 55,555 14
06/09/2005 12:23 PM

Here's an excerpt of ours:



honestly hope they



Freaking AWESOME.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/09/2005 12:23 PM

No, I don't mind if you are on top.

Fratberry 282,940 53
06/09/2005 12:41 PM

I know its late in the game, but I don't suppose there'd be any way to extend the deadline to Saturday? Bankey and I were going to put something together until we realized the rules stipulated the AM needed to be somebody that's only been here for this year. However, upon further review, it would appear that that is not the case.



And rejection of this suggestion will result in an implication that we cannot be beaten.

Fratberry 282,940 53
06/09/2005 12:41 PM

...in this competition.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/09/2005 12:47 PM

If Hat qualifies as an Am, I'm sure Bankey does.

Coco's Chest 1,756 8
06/09/2005 12:49 PM

I think that the deadline should be extended for all teams. As Chi said in another thread, he has hundreds of articles in the queue, and doesn't need any more shoved at him - we should wait until he, or whoever else will approve the articles, is ready.





... this would be for ChiChi's sake, of course, not our sake.

Oliver Chest, M.D. 203,475 12
06/09/2005 12:54 PM

<action> frantically runs around his office..pieces of paper falling out from his pockets...if he had hair it would be all askewed...



THIS IS THE WORST IDEA EVER! EVER!!!!

Coco's Chest 1,756 8
06/09/2005 12:58 PM

<action> injects Oliver with valium </action>

Kake 55,555 14
06/09/2005 01:00 PM

you people are like the irresponsible ant who played all summer, and didn't gather food for the winter. Jep rep and I are like the drunks who hide the extra bottle of whiskey on themselves, so there's still booze to drink when you wake up.



(actually, we started this morning)

Oliver Chest, M.D. 203,475 12
06/09/2005 01:02 PM

<action> injects Coco with hot beef

Fratberry 282,940 53
06/09/2005 01:02 PM

<action>Takes down framed picture in office, pulls bottle of Gin out of hole punched in wall, replaces picture, has lunch</action>

You people are nuts.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/09/2005 01:03 PM

I get to be the cashew.

Fratberry 282,940 53
06/09/2005 01:05 PM

I'M A FILBERT!!

Fratberry 282,940 53
06/09/2005 01:32 PM

So, seriously, can we extend the deadline?

Kake 55,555 14
06/09/2005 01:53 PM

Fratberry, just write the damn thing, wussbag. You're not going to win anyways.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/09/2005 01:55 PM

I vote to extend also.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
06/09/2005 02:11 PM

Hey you Nancys, the deadline is supposed to be Friday.



If we didn't follow rules, GAB would be frazzled by Anarchy!



It would be nuts- like cats sleeping with dogs, driving on the left side of the road, sobriety.



Madness I tell ya!

Kake 55,555 14
06/09/2005 02:16 PM

Yeah, I mean I'm getting paid to be at work today. But am I doing any work? No, I'm writing my article. You need to step back and take a look at your priorities.

Fratberry 282,940 53
06/09/2005 04:46 PM

Oh, go make a mess or something.

DemoMonkey, Mr Contributes-nothing-to- the-world. 166,252 10
06/10/2005 09:00 AM

OFFICIAL RULES CHANGES



1) The "Joined in the last year." rule for Am's has been officially waived. (Almost no-one was paying attention to it anyways.) The only rule for Am's is now that they have not had an article published.



2) The deadline has been extended to Sunday June 12 at 23:59. This is to accomodate anyone who wants to take advantage of the above rule, and also because MY PARTNER DOESN'T RESPOND TO E-MAILS!!!!



Being as the Great and Powerful Oz of submission approval is still away (despite the apparent recent activities of the leet Chi Chi bot), it seems unlikely this will actually delay the contest judging any.



Thank you.







...

Also, you're all still going to lose, even if I have to register the washcloth under my bed as a new GABber and use it as my partner.



Again.

Kake 55,555 14
06/10/2005 09:10 AM

so whining WORKS? IS that how Frat got married, too?



Eh, we weren't done yet anyways.

NavyBoy_teh_Satanist 19,912 12
06/10/2005 09:12 AM

It would be nuts... driving on the left side of the road...



They make us do that here in Japan.. it really does take a while to get used to.



Plus, the highest speed limit I've seen here, even on the 4-lane expressways, is 80Kph..



Pussies.

jepreport - premature articulator 58,758 13
06/10/2005 11:25 AM

Eh, we weren't done yet anyways.



I don't know Kake, I think we could submit what we have so far and still kick ass.



We're just that awesome.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
06/10/2005 11:31 AM

Well. Looks like today is the deadline.



Still no replies from Lunchbox.





I guess Team Tooth will have to Frost your face at another time.

DemoMonkey, Mr Contributes-nothing-to- the-world. 166,252 10
06/10/2005 11:41 AM

The deadline has been extended to Sunday June 12 at 23:59.



Odd.



It LOOKS like English.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/10/2005 11:42 AM

Actually Hat, if you look up a few posts, you will see that today no longer looks like the deadline.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/10/2005 11:46 AM

Except for that 23:59 Demo. I don't understand your strange simian time measurement.

Coco's Chest 1,756 8
06/10/2005 11:48 AM

<action>does her happy dance</action>The deadline has been extended to Sunday June 12 at 23:59.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
06/10/2005 11:51 AM

Don't pull that sass with me unless you can keep gab from crashing every 2 minutes. I wasnt even sure if that posted or not.



Anyways, Box isn't back til the 13th, So we're still sunk.

PrincessBritt 4,730 9
06/12/2005 06:01 PM

Quick question:



Does the the title of the article need to have something about "Pro-Am Contest" in it so ChiChi knows what it is?

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/12/2005 08:39 PM

Hey, this sounds neat. Count me in!

Kake-Pope of Chili town 55,555 14
06/12/2005 10:32 PM

gah! We each thought the other one submitted the article. How do we submit them?

Rep. Jep Rep. 007 58,758 13
06/12/2005 10:33 PM

FOR THE RECORD!



KAKE AND I HAVE SUBMITTED OUR ARTICLE VIA E-MAIL TO CHI CHI.



Our work here is done.

Rep. Jep Rep. 007 58,758 13
06/12/2005 10:34 PM

May God have mercy on the rest of you.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/12/2005 10:34 PM

Frost-ing n00b.

Kake-Pope of Chili town 55,555 14
06/12/2005 10:35 PM

shut up you Frost-ing irish dog mick.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/12/2005 10:36 PM

DEMO, I e-mailed you.



hit me back, just to chat

truly yours, your biggest fan

this is stan

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/12/2005 10:37 PM

The normal way to submit an article is to change the drop-down on the main page to display articles only, then scroll down to "submit a new article". Not sure if this contest has different rules. Might want to check with Demo on that.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/12/2005 10:39 PM

Don't get your panties in a bunch Kake.

Kake-Pope of Chili town 55,555 14
06/12/2005 10:45 PM

Don't get YOUR panties in a bunch, BIG.







oh, I totally just pwn3d him. Heh.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/12/2005 10:46 PM

I'm not wearing any today, so HA.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/12/2005 10:51 PM

I always confuse you guys, Kake and BIG. I'm not sure why though, you have different icons, your names aren't similar.....it must be the massive amounts of lame posts that you both contribute.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/12/2005 10:52 PM

TEDphat, don't get YOUR panties in a bunch.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/12/2005 10:53 PM

When the Raccoon pwns you, you know you suck.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/12/2005 10:54 PM

I was actually hoping to get YOUR panties in a bunch.

Kake-Pope of Chili town 55,555 14
06/12/2005 10:54 PM

TED, I'm trying to go to school so I can study suckage. I figure I'll need at least a masters to achieve your level.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/12/2005 10:55 PM

Roofie GABs naked...right?...RIGHT?

fabulounik 8,478 12
06/12/2005 10:56 PM

How did a conversation with panties mentioned so much turn so ugly?