erika the killjoy 76,152 9
05/31/2005 01:28 PM

I decided to deal with my shock and disgust by making a joke out of it. I got some tongs and carefully extraced the magazine from the drawer and placed it on his bed. Then, knowing that he would be upstairs in a few to change into a bathing suit, I decided to leave him a little note. It said:



"Now I see why you spend so much time in here. I hope the hours of pleasure are worth the eons and eons of time you will spend in hell, you sick Frost. Oh, and if you see a vagina that looks like hers in real life, run the other way cause shes obviously an infected skank.

Love,



Erika."



Then I went next door to my room, eagerly anticipating the look of humiliation on his face.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
05/31/2005 01:28 PM

A minute or two later I heard someone coming up the stairs, and then I heard the door to my brother's room close. I went into the hall and waited for him to come out, struggling to stifle my laughter. Imagine my shock when my brother came out of his room, so embarassed that he had transformed into an elderly woman, complete with gray hair and a wrinkled face.



Apparently my parents had failed to mention that my grandmother was staying in my brother's room, instead of at my uncle's house like she usually did. She had an odd look on her face, and I couldn't tell if she was angry or amused. She looked at me, and said, "I know it's the thought that counts dear, but I really haven't been aroused by a woman since the 60's. Every girl goes through that experimental stage and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar. These women in the pictures now though, all plastic and fake. I like a natural breast, not those big silicone things. Jackie Kennedy, now that's a woman that really did it for me." And then she just walked away, leaving me physically and mentally stunned. Eventually I just crawled into my bed in the fetal position, where apparently my boyfriend found me sometime later, incoherently mumbling about Speedos and Jacquelyn Kennedy.



So anyway, the next few weeks I will be imbibing large enough quantities on alcohol to forget the things that I learned yesterday. My greatest daily fear is no longer falling through a sewer grate and drowning. It has been replaced with the fear that on any given night I may have a dream involving my boyfriend running around in a Speedo while my brother faps to a video of my grandmother feeling up Jackie Kennedy.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
05/31/2005 01:31 PM

The elderly prefer interracial anal gangbang vides.

gorckat 41,132 13
05/31/2005 01:31 PM

You type fast. All 3 post had the same time stamp.



And anybody who asks- it is worth reading.

Oliver Chest, M.D. 203,475 12
05/31/2005 01:31 PM

Your gramma single?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/31/2005 01:35 PM

I read the whole story and I feel the worst thing was having to spend the majority of the weekend in Long Island.

Chance 171,275 14
05/31/2005 01:36 PM

You should of started rubbing your nipples and stated "these are au' natural, grammy."



Clearly she wanted you.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
05/31/2005 01:38 PM

Well she does always buy me underwear for Christmas...







I need to go throw up now.

Brian Peppers 67,037 13
05/31/2005 01:41 PM

Did you tell your brother or is he unaware your grandma found lesbian porn in his room?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/31/2005 01:43 PM

So Erika, when's the GAB pool party at your folks house?

TEDphat (of the Monkeyphat tribe) 6,408 9
05/31/2005 01:44 PM

At least you didn't walk in on grandma twiddlin' her clit.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
05/31/2005 01:44 PM

Yeah, later on I pulled him aside and told him he needed to find a better hiding spot for it. I left out the part about me displaying it on his bed for his grandmother to witness.

Zippies Drainage 2,735 9
05/31/2005 01:45 PM

That is the coolest post ever!

Should have been an article

MiLLie 116,988 28
05/31/2005 01:46 PM

I thought you were going to post some pictures of your boyfriend in a speedo.



Damn.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
05/31/2005 01:50 PM

BIG, we have a hot tub too.



Still, I don't think there would be too many people eager to come to GABJersey.

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
05/31/2005 01:51 PM

When I was reading the first post I was thinking how cute it would have been to have written a note to your Bro with a sharpie on about the third or fourth page of pictures.



That way in a day or two he could be well on his to fantasy land then flip the page and spot the, "Just wanted to say hi broham" note from his sister.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/31/2005 01:53 PM

GABJersey....

<action>shakes uncontrollably</action>

Phuc 237,919 21
05/31/2005 02:49 PM

GABJersey



They couldn't handle the Garden State.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
05/31/2005 03:08 PM

Maybe if we borrowed erika's tongs?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
05/31/2005 05:16 PM

LBI GABfest?

Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
05/11/2006 12:30 PM

<action>bumps into thread</action>Millie made me do it.

<b></b> 203,956 21
05/11/2006 04:49 PM

bump

Gorshack 41,132 13
05/11/2006 05:07 PM

...on any given night I may have a dream involving my boyfriend running around in a Speedo while my brother faps to a video of my grandmother feeling up Jackie Kennedy.



Have you, have you

Had this dream?

Will you, will you

Share it, please?

Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
05/11/2006 05:24 PM

No, thank goodness. Oh, and since then my brother has turned to renting cheesy Showtime porns using our On Demand. For some reason he did not think they would show up on the bill.





P.S. I luff BIG.

gobadine 2,737 10
05/11/2006 06:48 PM

I got some tongs and carefully extraced the magazine from the drawer and placed it on his bed.



why the hell does your brother have tongs in his bedroom?



Is he scared to touch it?

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy, Jr. 203,956 21
05/29/2009 09:59 AM

Please, please add pictures to Erika's story.

Ravos is New & Improved 63,467 21
05/29/2009 11:45 AM

This could even be split into a 5 part article!