Church Building Committees
A comedy conversation
by gwallaia  3,510  12
06/07/2005 09:07 PM 744 views
|
|
As an architect, I have been involved with many church building projects. A rather large project has just been completed. When designing or renovating a church you can be certain of one thing, there will be a Building Committee. Another thing you can be certain of, everyone on the committee is an expert, even if they have never worked on a building project before.
If Mrs. Jenkins and some of her friends have seen an episode of "Trading Spaces", they are all experts and will head up the dreaded "Color Committee" If Mr. Williams watched as his air conditioner was repaired at his house; he is an expert and will head up the "HVAC sub-committee". Mr. Harris once laid shingles on a roof during a summer job as a teenager 40 years ago; he is the leader of the "Roof sub-committee"
The Building Chairman is usually a level headed individual who deteriorates into an alcoholic by the time the building is finished.
Most of the men on these church committees are retired. When asked to serve on the building committee, they pole-vault at the opportunity. Here is their chance to be involved with something again, another chance for their voice to be heard. A chance to show-off to the other church-elders.
Since they are retired, they have lots and lots of time to dedicate to their charged responsibilities. This means calling me at the office and talking for an hour, while I listen, about such things as fuse disconnect switches and roof flashing details. Many times they will stop by the office to show me some drawings they've been working on. During actual scheduled meetings at the church, they feel compelled to speak as much as possible to prove they are really doing something.
|
|
|
Like This? Rate It!
|
|
Side-splitting
12 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1214924
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hilarious
15 votes
4.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1214925
gwallaia 3,510  12
06/07/2005 09:08 PM
While this is a great burden on me, their wives are thrilled. Finally, they can get some peace and quiet at the house.
The women on the committees are, however, decidedly more of a pain. Typically, the women are on the "Color Committee" It is their responsibility to "help" select the finishes for the project. Instead of having a single chairman for this committee, there are four co-chairmen because they could not decide who would be in charge. They will not be able to reach an agreement on what colors will be used on the project either. As a result, some of the Sunday school classrooms will be cranberry raisin, others will be rose petal mist and the rest will be heather slumber green.
Does your church have different colored Sunday school classrooms? You know why now.
Despite their help, the project is completed and is only $30,000 over budget. Next week there will be a reception in the new parlor; there will be finger foods, pastries, sherbet and punch. The pastor will smile and say nice things. The men will recount their heroics on the committee as if telling stories of storming the beach at Normandy. The four co-chairmen from the color committee will boast and crow about the beautiful curtains and carpet while all the other women who were not on the committee complain and say rude things about the bitches on the color committee.
|
| |
|
|
|
Side-splitting
7 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1215091
Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
06/08/2005 01:26 AM
You're such a nave apse to lecturn us like that. But I'm font of ya.
|
| |
|
|
|
Hilarious
6 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1215112
daisypie 49,378 9
06/08/2005 02:00 AM
Next week there will be a reception in the new parlor; there will be finger foods, pastries, sherbet and punch
Is that an invitation?
|
| |
|
|
|
0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1215116
supergrover 4,517 9
06/08/2005 02:14 AM
Party? At a church? Daisypie? I'm in.
|
| |
|
|
|
0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1215265
gwallaia 3,510 12
06/08/2005 10:23 AM
Its an invitation Daisypie only if you promise to bring something to spice up the punch.
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1215388
Orfinked Chickens 286,527 61
06/08/2005 12:35 PM
* there will be a plack with all the names of the heros of the family life center building committee
* people who never lifted a hand will complain the loudest in the long run about how bad you screwed the project up
* you should spike the "punch"
* bring your special "brownies"
* once they pay your bill, tell them they can find the original artwork from which you took the design you put into the brickwork over the door of the building at www.goatse.cx
* go to hell, go directly to hell, to not pass go, do not collect $200
|
|
|
|
Store