Mwahiy 5,425 9
06/16/2005 06:01 PM

I totally see an AID's joke or 2 coming on...

gorckat 41,132 13
06/16/2005 06:01 PM

Sometimes, I whack off and think about my half-sister.

MiLLie 116,988 28
06/16/2005 06:01 PM

I really did date a guy who looks like the guy in that Paris Hilton spoof.

Fratberry 282,940 53
06/16/2005 06:02 PM

...coming on who?

SHP, permanent bitch mode 181,790 70
06/16/2005 06:02 PM

I put Baby in a corner.

MiLLie 116,988 28
06/16/2005 06:02 PM

Except the guy I dated was fatter.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
06/16/2005 06:02 PM

I urinate outdoors frequently.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/16/2005 06:02 PM

I lied to my parents, I was mean to my brother, and I didn't say all my prayers. Oh yeah, and last week I kicked Louis Zawacki in the balls, really hard.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:03 PM

Sometimes, I whack off and think about my half-sister.



I want you to go wash your hands and think carefully of your actions.



Then gouge out your eyes.



Amen.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:05 PM

I really did date a guy who looks like the guy in that Paris Hilton spoof.



That is not a sin, my daughter.



Rimming him would have been.



Go in peace.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:06 PM

I put Baby in a corner.



Spend $20 Get $10 Back at the Baby Corner Store! Plus FREE Shipping for orders over $100 or $5 Flat Rate Shipping!



Amen.

MiLLie 116,988 28
06/16/2005 06:06 PM

Umm....





Never mind.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:09 PM

I urinate outdoors frequently.



Return to the last 6 sites of urination and ask forgiveness to whomever you have defiled.



Then slap them bitches and laugh and run.



Go with God.

SHP, permanent bitch mode 181,790 70
06/16/2005 06:12 PM

Spend $20 Get $10 Back at the Baby Corner Store! Plus FREE Shipping for orders over $100 or $5 Flat Rate Shipping!





I'll take ten babies, please.



</Ollie>

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:12 PM

I lied to my parents, I was mean to my brother, and I didn't say all my prayers. Oh yeah, and last week I kicked Louis Zawacki in the balls, really hard.



Snk...





sss. s... ssss.



Goodness!



Go massage poor Lewis and apologize.



Amen.

gwallaia 3,510 12
06/16/2005 06:14 PM

Very rarely do I eat all my vegetables. In fact, as a child, I used to hide my peas and carrots in my underpants.

Bonky 75,733 15
06/16/2005 06:16 PM

I think Robert Greenleaf was on acid. There. I said it!

La Petite Mort de TableTopJane 173,958 15
06/16/2005 06:16 PM

Yeah, right. Like there could ever be a gay priest.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:21 PM

Very rarely do I eat all my vegetables. In fact, as a child, I used to hide my peas and carrots in my underpants.



Suffer no longer my child. Lots of children have peas and carrots in their underpants.



Empty your heart of all pain and check your anus for cancer due to diet of red meat.



Be one with our Lord.

La Mime 994 9
06/16/2005 06:22 PM

<action>is not really a mime.</action>

La Petite Mort de TableTopJane 173,958 15
06/16/2005 06:23 PM

I went out to eat with my kids. My oldest was in the bathroom when the food got there, and I ate her garlic bread. When she got back, I told her that her meal didn't come with any garlic bread.







And then I went home and chained her to the water heater.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:25 PM

La Mime is not really a mime.



(does a lame "stuck in a box" mime and then relizes that he REALLY IS IN A BOX!!!)

Mwahiy 5,425 9
06/16/2005 06:26 PM

you must have a ginormous water with all the people you have chained to it

Declan 'Gabriel Conroy' McManus 131,877 36
06/16/2005 06:27 PM

I have a friend in a far northern city He can be a lot of fun. He's pretty Frostin hot, as well. Late last year, I gave him some small assistance in a matter of business.



He said he would send me a token of apprieciation (sp).







Where's my Frost-ing token, bitch?

Mwahiy 5,425 9
06/16/2005 06:28 PM

Thank god he's stuck in a box...now the AID's can't spread!

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:29 PM

I went out to eat with my kids. My oldest was in the bathroom when the food got there, and I ate her garlic bread. When she got back, I told her that her meal didn't come with any garlic bread. And then I went home and chained her to the water heater.



Your sins will follow you around by the seat of your thighs. When you cheat children food your ass will show to the world your indescretion.



I want you to run home... Run!



Be as one with the Lamb of God.

La Petite Mort de TableTopJane 173,958 15
06/16/2005 06:29 PM

(does a lame "stuck in a box" mime and then relizes that he REALLY IS IN A BOX!!!)







Did you ever have something that popped into your head, but you just don't have the heart to post it?

Red Hairpiece 203,475 12
06/16/2005 06:29 PM

I don't actually find young children sexually appealing.

Mwahiy 5,425 9
06/16/2005 06:30 PM

TTJ its a good thing I don't have a heart

HighSoci 30,109 18
06/16/2005 06:31 PM

I am neither High nor Soci.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
06/16/2005 06:31 PM

Mwahiy

6/16/2005 5:30 pm



TTJ its a good thing I don't have a heart



Or a brain.



When are you going to see the wizard?

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:31 PM

I have a friend in a far northern city He can be a lot of fun. He's pretty Frostin hot, as well. Late last year, I gave him some small assistance in a matter of business.



He said he would send me a token of apprieciation (sp).







Where's my Frost-ing token, bitch?



The Lord moves in mysterious ways.



Have you tried the synagog down the street?



May the Lord wash you of all your sins.

Mwahiy 5,425 9
06/16/2005 06:32 PM

I'm building up the courage as we speak

PuggyD 48,304 12
06/16/2005 06:33 PM

Screaming infidelities?

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:34 PM

I don't actually find young children sexually appealing.



Rejoice in the happiness The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost have provided you in life.



Please absolve yourself of all the child porn you have to my email address.



Bless you.

Declan 'Gabriel Conroy' McManus 131,877 36
06/16/2005 06:34 PM

synagog down the street





I'm talking about a poster, not a brisket!

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:36 PM

I am neither High nor Soci.



The Lord looks upon all her children as equals. Heaven is not really in the clouds but our hearts truly fly High when you let the Lord into it.



As for the Soci part, I have no Frost-ing clue what you mean.



Take the Lord home today! $12.99 a bucket!

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:38 PM

I'm talking about a poster, not a brisket!



Sorry one cofession a day. Dont let the confessional hit you on the ass on the way out. Next please!

Mwahiy 5,425 9
06/16/2005 06:39 PM

I don't have a heart, brain, masterbating flying monkey, or a hung munchkin

HighSoci 30,109 18
06/16/2005 06:39 PM

I am jerking off while I type this with my free hand.

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
06/16/2005 06:40 PM

Did you ever have something that popped into your head, but you just don't have the heart to post it?





I have a whole hard drive full of them, and I call them no posts.





I only post the warm fuzzy ones, and still seem like an Emerson.







ohh, and I don't believe SHP.....no one puts baby in a corner.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:44 PM

I am jerking off while I type this with my free hand.



Truly the you have lost the Lord, my little lamb. Find god in the smallest details. Find Jesus in the mouldiest of bathroom plaster. Take time to see the Holy Ghost.



And if you spill your seed not unto the receptical of the virgin Mary. I am sure The Virgin Trixxie will take your seed.



Take Jesus into your heart.

HighSoci 30,109 18
06/16/2005 06:48 PM

I like to call it salvation myself and I already took it and put it in my hand and stroked the hell out of while looking at female gabber pics.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 06:51 PM

<action> makes the sign of the cross</action>



Whatever.

Niles 3,169 9
06/16/2005 07:00 PM

I have never told this to another living soul.



When I was 17 years old, I went to spend a couple of days with a friend at Yale over Thanksgiving break. Her roommates were gone for the long weekend.



I so wish that this were going where you think it is, but not even close.

Niles 3,169 9
06/16/2005 07:01 PM

She let me sleep on the floor in her roommate's sleeping bag. I awoke at about 5am to find that I had wet myself, and her sleeping bag. This was not some subtle, pee a little bit and it wakes you up episodes. I was drenched from my chest to my knees. I was so completely mortified that I quickly got up and ran to the bathroom to clean myself up. Unfortunately, this was in a very old dorm building at Yale, and the communal bathroom was not going to offer one shred of privacy. I had not asked my friend the night before where the showers were, but there were none in the bathroom on her floor. Also, all I had brought with me was a hand towel. So there I was trying to wash the stench of my own urine off of my body at the sink, all the while desperately hoping that no one would walk in on me.

Niles 3,169 9
06/16/2005 07:01 PM

I did my best and put on some clean clothes. I stuffed my urine-soaked p.j.s into a plastic bag and twisted it shut and hid it in my suitcase, but what to do with the sleeping bag? I was terrified that my friend would wake up at any moment. Looking back I can see so many things that I could have done to more effectively handle the situation, but I was blinded by intense fear. To a 17-year-old who was trying to impress a smart, older, Yale girl, I was deep below the 9th level of hell at this point. I didn't want to put the sleeping bag in the sink because I was too scared that she would ask questions if she found it wet. So, I grabbed the same small hand towel that I had used both to try to wash myself and to try to mop up the urine from the hardwood floor of the bedroom and wiped at the sleeping bag in futility. This was not productive. What to do? I finally came to the conclusion that I could just stuff the bag back into its case, tuck it in the roommate's closet, and at least escape from the state of Connecticut before anyone found out.

Niles 3,169 9
06/16/2005 07:02 PM

To this day, I wonder if she knew, and just decided to be nice about it. It seems too impossible for her to have slept soundly through the entire ordeal, but I just don't know. We had been up really late the night before. I stayed in touch with her for a few years after that, and she never mentioned it.



When I got home and opened the plastic bag with my p.j.s in it, the stench was awful. I had to wash them three times before I believed the smell was gone. I still wonder from time to time what must have happened when that roommate finally opened up that sleeping bag.

High Priestess 58,884 29
06/16/2005 07:06 PM

I really am going out with a Canadian. Father, I know I have fallen off the path of rightgousness. To lay with an infadel who chuggs maple syrup is the greatest of sins. That and I have killed kittens. In other words, work some marical and make me spell better.

Niles 3,169 9
06/16/2005 07:08 PM

Watching the pee tubes fill up next to my story is bringing back horrible memories.

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
06/16/2005 07:15 PM

<action>can't believe Puggy didn't do this yet.</action>OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

PuggyD 48,304 12
06/16/2005 07:20 PM

Too soon.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
06/16/2005 08:00 PM

I lather and rinse but never repeat.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/16/2005 08:08 PM

I had wet myself...etc etc yadda yadda



(realizes someone's been talking for some time, tosses cig and straightens robe)



Oh right. er...



Annointed with the blood of Christ you have, my child. God makes our bodies frail and human to remind us that we are all lesser...



...smkknkssss...





HAHAHAAHH!!!!!



YOU PISSED YOURSELF!!!!





hahehh...

Phuc 237,919 21
06/16/2005 08:08 PM

When I was a kid and my fambly went to the mall, me and my brother would hide bags from mall stores in the car, then when we separated from our parents, we'd get the bags, walk into stores and steal stuff. Mostly books and things that would fit easily into the bags. i think I stole a t-shirt with one of those bug-eyed guys driving a hot rod that said, "Old Chevys never die."



I've stolen stuff from most of my past jobs, including a top-of-the-line DVD player, an aeron chair, two Palm Vs (technically, these weren't stolen as the CFO walked into my office after a hostile takeover, stoned off his ass and said, "That stuff in the closet are not company assetts."

Lunchbox 14,650 10
06/16/2005 09:13 PM

I almost have the ginormous dildo I bought a long time ago in me. I'm still trying. Should I practice more often?



(...and Deeks salivates...)

La Petite Mort de TableTopJane 173,958 15
06/16/2005 09:17 PM

You are all going to Hell.





You should try to be more like me. My heart is pure, and my soul is spotless.

Lunchbox 14,650 10
06/16/2005 09:18 PM

I don't see how that's possible if your hymen ain't there and your panties aren't spotless.



/awful

La Petite Mort de TableTopJane 173,958 15
06/16/2005 09:51 PM

HA! Shows what you know. I'm not wearing any panties.

La Petite Mort de TableTopJane 173,958 15
06/16/2005 09:53 PM

I'd like to add that panties thing to my list of confessions.

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
06/16/2005 10:11 PM

I'm sorry but I'm all confessed out.

Lunchbox 14,650 10
06/16/2005 10:30 PM

I'm all confessed out



You misspelled "scraped up on my knees."

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
06/16/2005 10:32 PM

<action> holds up a mirror to Lunchbox





Oh honey... here, take a look.

Robin® 14,626 10
06/16/2005 10:38 PM

I confess that I led a mormon into sin. I slept witha 24yr old mormon when I was 16.

Lunchbox 14,650 10
06/16/2005 11:05 PM

yes but until you can say youve taken a mormon of the same sex to bed, you haven't truly lived.



*high fives self*

Lunchbox 14,650 10
06/16/2005 11:06 PM

especially when his uncle is an official in the Utah Republican Party. Word.

Errol 10,584 9
06/17/2005 02:25 AM

I'm not funny.

Neutral Milk 27,937 12
06/17/2005 02:38 AM

I confess that I led a mormon into sin. I slept witha 24yr old mormon when I was 16.



Ummm..... What?

I am Straw 97,995 37
06/17/2005 03:01 AM

I'm not a lesbian, but I'm really enjoying this game.



NSFW

Piemaster - I'm Drunk James, bitch 12,538 15
06/17/2005 03:31 AM

That and I have killed kittens



Kittuns is dead?!

Reverse Houdini 298 9
06/17/2005 04:18 AM

I came on a girl's back, and then when she turned around to kiss me, I spit in her face.

Sylvester 4,465 9
06/17/2005 04:54 AM

I was walking towards the break room as one of the girls at work jumped on her chair screaming. I look under her desk and see this cricket. All I did was go to the break room, got a styrofoam cup out and gently picked up the cricket. Then I walked past the boss's office, looked both ways, opened the door...



































































and threw the cricket in there when nobody was looking.

nikteacher 234 7
06/17/2005 05:26 AM

I wish my mum would dump her girlfriend. She's a needy bitch who wants 100% of mum's time and affection. She's being really nice to me now I'm in Poland, but I think it's because she wants me to stay here. Now my fiancee and I are waiting until after they visit before we get kittens, because when we told her about them she started sending loads of text messages asking how long I was thinking of staying.

Actually, I've even wished her dead a few times because i want her massive DVD collection. I know she'll never watch them all, but my fiancee and I would. Shakespeare, she even buys stuff I desperately want but she probably never heard of.

nikteacher 234 7
06/17/2005 05:27 AM

You see why I want absolution from a gay man.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/17/2005 10:26 AM

walk into stores and steal stuff.

and

I've stolen stuff from most of my past jobs



Well you've stolen the heart of Jesus, you little winx! He loves you for taking that stuff because you've helped the insurance and securities companies thrive. You are a good American.



But dont think God doesnt see you surf Fillipino porn, you sick Frost. 5 Hail marys and One good genuflect.



Next!

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/17/2005 10:31 AM

I almost have the ginormous dildo I bought a long time ago in me. I'm still trying. Should I practice more often?



The Holy Ghost once told me that he loves someone with passion. Your passion, my son, is to excell at all things SINFUL!



If you think having your ass stretched to Goatse proportions by the time you're 30... nay, 26, then Jesus will smite you with a case of Depends. Now stop that!



And drop and give me 20.



Yeah. right there.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/17/2005 10:31 AM

I almost have the ginormous dildo I bought a long time ago in me. I'm still trying. Should I practice more often?



The Holy Ghost once told me that he loves someone with passion. Your passion, my son, is to excell at all things SINFUL!



If you think having your ass stretched to Goatse proportions by the time you're 30... nay, 26, then Jesus will smite you with a case of Depends. Now stop that!



And drop and give me 20.



Yeah. right there.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/17/2005 10:33 AM

I once double-posted.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/17/2005 10:40 AM

I'm not wearing any panties



dooot doot doo doot doot doot doo...



This just in:



God sees all. Video at 11.



My child. The Lord made the junk inside your panties. This is hardly a confession. Gimmie something meaty.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/17/2005 10:43 AM

I confess that I led a mormon into sin.



The Lord created the second "M" just for mormons.



Think about it.



While you're thinking, repent by considering taking down some Moonies too. They're pissing God off something fierce.



Tee hee. I said "fierce"

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
06/17/2005 10:48 AM

I confess that I think this whole "god" business is a bunch of hooey.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/17/2005 10:56 AM

I'm not funny.



*blinks*

Grabem 206 8
06/26/2005 06:50 PM

I once Frosted my roomate's girlfriend when she had too much to drink and mistook my room for his.



I'm also a Canadian

Errol 10,584 9
06/26/2005 06:52 PM

You're also a rapist, apparently.

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
06/26/2005 06:55 PM

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/26/2005 07:21 PM

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.



No you didn't!

Errol 10,584 9
06/26/2005 07:25 PM

I once masturbated into a sock while I was driving on the freeway.

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
06/26/2005 07:34 PM

Roofie, what's your definition of "busy"?

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/26/2005 07:37 PM

Errol, that's dangerous.



Spicey, don't make me blush.

Errol 10,584 9
06/26/2005 07:38 PM

Dangerous is my middle name.

supergrover 4,517 9
06/26/2005 07:39 PM

I masturbate all the time while I'm driving. If I'm going on a long road trip by myself and you see me leave the house wearing a skirt....well, it's not like I'm living in denial about how gross I am.

Errol 10,584 9
06/26/2005 07:41 PM

<action> gets an erection. </action>

Sylvester 4,465 9
06/26/2005 09:18 PM

I phoned a country station and dedicated Aaron Tippin's "Kiss This" and Johnny Paycheck's "Take This Job and Shove It" to the place I used to work under the name of Sylvester Murphy.



I kept saying the way things were going on there I should change my name to Murphy. Plus I'd use Sylvester for a name when I got a survey I HATED. I hope they don't realize it's me doing the dedication.

Grabem 206 8
06/26/2005 09:47 PM

If Frost-ing drunk girls becomes against the law I think a lot of us may be heading off to the big house.



But hey, all my friends will be there

Piemaster relocated to a dry county 12,538 15
06/26/2005 09:48 PM

i eat kittens

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
06/26/2005 10:32 PM

I took the lords name in vein several times a day actually, over the course of about 4-5 years.















Ohh wait......that was heroin not the lords name....



Cause I was fittin ta say, Damn this Christianity Shakespeare is addicting !

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/26/2005 10:43 PM

I saw Titanic





..in the theater





..3 times

Sylvester 4,465 9
06/26/2005 10:54 PM

Did you get seasick watching it?

Sylvester 4,465 9
06/26/2005 10:54 PM

I confess I got the 100th post.

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
06/26/2005 11:41 PM

Forgive me father for I have sinned.



I killed myself.

Filly 39,193 20
06/26/2005 11:46 PM

I took some pictures for the T&A album. Then deleted them. Forgive me!

TTJane-pour me a cab, I can't drink any more 173,958 15
06/27/2005 03:02 AM

Alright, alright. I'll confess.











I never learned how to read!





**runs away crying dramatically**

I am Straw 97,995 37
06/27/2005 03:06 AM

I gave Jane my 2000th clickie, and now I'm ready for bed. Coincidence?