I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
06/17/2005 01:13 PM

I got to have sex in the walk in cooler (sometimes during my shift)of a restaurant/bar I used to bartend in.

How could you live without Chickens? 286,527 61
06/17/2005 01:13 PM

Oh, and the storage room for all the candy was locked off one of the exit halls for the theatres. The manager had the only keys.



Course those Exit halls had drop down panel ceilings. Duh. Didn't take us long to figure that one out.

gorckat 41,132 13
06/17/2005 01:25 PM

A couple weeks ago I placed an order for a new electric pencil sharpener. When it came in, I sharpened a few pencils and took them home.

DemoMonkey, Mr Contributes-nothing-to- the-world. 166,252 10
06/17/2005 01:26 PM

Gabbing.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
06/17/2005 01:36 PM

I had a job in a mattress store. The owner lived 1 1/2 hours away so she seldom came around. We did what we wanted. There were these Ukranian guys we subcontracted out to for our deliveries. They got paid $30 a delivery, $40 for a king set. Customers would come in and want a twin set delivered after the delivery guys had left. We were supposed to tell them we'd deliver it tomorrow. We'd tell the people we could deliver it ourselves for $20 instead of the usual $30. They say, "Sure!" Then we'd tie it to the top of our cars and deliver it and pocket the cash off the books. The Ukranian guys would always say, "How come we only get big beds to deliver? How come no easy twin sets?"

I don't know, just the luck of the draw I guess. And there was our drinking money.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
06/17/2005 01:45 PM

Damnit Gorckat. That is, like, twice in the past month that I have had to give you an otto.



I'

M

Also, I am at work right now.

B

I never do anything but focus on

E

my work.

I would not do anything of a

N

personal nature while I should be

G

handling my business.

W

That would be wrong.

A

T

C

H

E

D

newwave 45,912 10
06/17/2005 02:25 PM

When I worked at McDonald's back in high school, I got away with pocketing a steaming hot Chicken McNugget every time I passed the "nugget storage device" and eating it in the walk-in freezer. Also, stealing money from the register.



Then when I worked at Radio Shack, watching movies on the satellite and taping them on stolen written off for store use videocassettes. Almost 100% of the time, some stupid customer would change the channel in the middle. The only one I have that is watchable all the way through is Black Sheep. Also, stealing money from the register.



I worked at an ISP for a while and got away with hosting a lame-o website for free on my workstation, running a crappy Windows web server. Later on I put said lame-o site on the Unix server. Also, one time I grabbed $20 from the register.



My last job, there was no supervision at all 90% of the time, so it was GAB, porno, and sleeping, when the Frost-ing customers weren't calling. We had no cash register, so I quit.

SHP, permanent bitch mode 181,790 70
06/17/2005 02:34 PM

Right out of highschool I went to work for a guy who was an old, rich drunk.



He routinely hired women out of strip clubs for sales positions, and his son "interviewed" them by sleeping with them.



I had a TV in my office where I watched my stories and the Price is Right. There was beer in the coke machine, and once a month the boss would take us out and say "If everyone will have a margarita, I will buy lunch." Three or four drinks later, we'd all go back to the office drunk.



I also used to attend lunch w/ my coworker every Friday. We'd have half-price margaritas and a plate of nachos, and he'd go back to securing the safety of the public by inspecting fire extinguishers while I was the receptionist. I also once gave him head in his office.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/17/2005 02:41 PM

So was his son a good lay?

daisypie 49,378 9
06/17/2005 02:52 PM

When I was going to college in Glassboro, New Jersey, I had a job delivering pizzas. It was a GREAT job for a college kid, the Greek owner paid cash under the table, and on a good night you could make $50 cash in tips. The fringe benefits really rocked, too, as college kids would often invite me in for a slice and a beer, (this was before the days of drinking and driving being on a par with axe murdering rapists) or give me beers for the ride, or offer to get me high. There was even a black woman in town who was a regular customer. She had a smokin' hot body, and would answer her door wearing only a white terry robe, completely opened in the front. She was a good tipper, too...



I could have used my own car for deliveries, but the owner would let you use his car so long as you filled the gas tank. There was a raised railroad crossing in town, and if you built up enough speed beforehand, you could get completely airborn. You could get the front wheels off the ground easily, but to get full-air, you really had to be haulin' ass, and it was a fairly narrow neighborhood street. I guess one time after I nailed the jump, all four hub-caps came off the car, but I didn't realize it until I got back the the restaurant. Nick the owner was some pissed, but I told him they must have got jacked on a delivery to the ghetto part of town. He bought it.

Kake-Pope of Chili town 55,555 14
06/17/2005 02:57 PM

I didn't get away with it, but I was fired from Shaw's Supermarkets for stealing sominex sleeping pills when I was about 15. I was on a amphetamine bender, and hadn't slept in days. Apparently, the solution "Stop taking amphetamines" never occured to me.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
06/17/2005 03:03 PM

I had this one warehouse job where I could sneak out back with our Assistant manager and smoke doobies freely.



Then there was the driving job, I'd drive parts to customers all over town. Routine pot stops were, well.. routine. Even with some of our COD customers, They'd tip me an extra $20 for bringing the joint.



Then I got promoted to the sales office. Now I GAB to get high.

Miniver 2,334 9
06/17/2005 03:07 PM

Stuff you got away with at Good Jobs



I got away with capitalizing random words.

Aroungry Aroungry Aimless 54,807 10
06/17/2005 03:27 PM

About three hours ago I sat at my desk and painted my toe nails while gabbing and eating the bosses candy.

Knight of Uranus 9 7
06/17/2005 03:36 PM

When I worked for a large Soda Company We'll call Koka-Kola, I often found myself taking random breaks and consuming large quanties of Soda, on company time.



Red-Neck Version - when i was werkin down at teh koke facter I drank me some bunch a soda and my boss bubba never done newd i was doin it.

supergrover 4,517 9
06/17/2005 03:36 PM

I get high to get high...But your way's good too.

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
06/17/2005 03:37 PM

Let's see...



1. I can pretty much GAB all day.

2. My boss lets me tape movies off the pay-per-view.

3. I work out in the exercise room, and then shower in my private bathroom.......DURING the workday.

4. I can take pictures of myself in all kinds of strange situations and post them on #1 above.

5. It's 2:37 and I am done for the day.

gorckat 41,132 13
06/17/2005 03:39 PM

I hate you CGt. And by hate, I mean envy.

Kake-Pope of Chili town 55,555 14
06/17/2005 04:44 PM

hey, Chris, you need an intern? I'm a wizard with a cigar.

Prof. Fantabulous 19,711 13
06/17/2005 05:02 PM

I left my good job in the city.



I was workin' for the man every night and day.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/17/2005 05:04 PM

You know the difference between Good Jobs and Evil Jobs is his goatee.

MiLLie 116,988 28
06/17/2005 10:16 PM

I had access to all the tampons I could ever need.



That wasn't really a "good" job, though.



I used to be an office manager at a law office, and the boss's personal secretary. He basically let me do whatever I wanted, as long as I got what had to be done finished.



He paid me pretty well. But he was a total Emerson who left everything to the last minute, so there was a lot of stress. It sucks to try to type a legal brief while the person is standing there, dictating it to you and complaining that you aren't typing fast enough.

TheFoye 55,700 16
06/17/2005 10:46 PM

Masturbation!

Errol 10,584 9
06/17/2005 10:53 PM

This summer I work on my college campus moving furniture for the housing department. All I do all day is mess around with the guys we work with. Plus we get master keys for all of on campus housing.



So, we'll move some furniture in the rooms, and then sit in the rooms and play a game that involves throwing mini packaged bar soap at each others testicles. Then we put the soap back for people to use. Don't act like you've never played a similar self-destructive game.



One of my goals this summer is to fart/go to the bathroom in as many people's rooms as I can. So far, so good.

I am Jack's Kidney 6,902 12
06/17/2005 11:50 PM

I used to be a customer service rep for the cable company, TVMAX (my apologies to all who have heard of this company or have had to have dealt with it). I am a pretty sociable person so its hard for me not to be sociable on the phone. I remember once this guy called in complaining that the FOX news channle was out so I asked him if he read USA today as well. He laughed and said what do you mean. I was like well your a hard core republican right? (I had already WAY over stepped my boundries here) We ended up having a political discussion about Bush and Shakespeare for like 45 minits. Then he bought HBO. When it was all over, I could only have hoped that call wasn't one of those that is recorded for quality assurance and training purposes. I never found out. I got fired like 2 weeks later.

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/18/2005 12:46 AM

Thanks to the magic of WiFi and my laptop and the leet hacking skills worthy of a slightly slow 2nd grader I'm spending the whole summer playing Star Wars Galaxies. 3 more weeks and I'll finally make Jedi!



See you in September!

PuggyD 48,304 12
06/18/2005 12:48 AM

I suppose since I'm an RA, my housing is considered part of my job, and it does have a bitchin' fast internet connection that lets me pirate mercilessly. I average about 1 season of Gilmore Girls downloaded for every three days. Now if only I didn't watch faster than I download.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
06/18/2005 12:51 AM

Most of my jobs have had good perks.

My first ever job was working in my parents business so got paid well to do little.

As a housekeeper for 12 shearers there was always copious amounts of alcohol.

Bar work meant more alcohol , FREE !

My current race related work is good because most of it can be done when ever the hell I feel like it.

Soon I'll be throwing in the race work and going back to bar work.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
06/18/2005 01:06 AM

Stuff you got away with at Good Jobs



I'm planning on reporting back with some cool Shakespeare soon as I get me one of those good jobs.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/18/2005 01:12 AM

Some days I don't have to wear pants. I usually do just because of the nature of my work (nobody wants a splinter in their no-no places) but on days when I know I'm just color-matching work I might go sans shorts.

I am Straw 97,995 37
06/18/2005 01:27 AM

Sometimes it is hard to believe I had one of the greatest jobs ever. I was able to travel to exotic countries on the government dime. It was like an all-expenses paid vacation. Yeah, we had to work during the day, but even then the work was fascinating. They eventually transferred me to a different department that was infinitely more boring and involved no travel. So I wasn't sorry when we moved and I had to leave that job. But I'll always have those fantastic memories.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/18/2005 01:45 AM

You were a black-market arms dealer?

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
06/18/2005 02:36 AM

I'm planning on reporting back with some cool Shakespeare soon as I get me one of those good jobs









Has anyone ever seen the cartoon or comic that shows a guy reading the want adds in the newspaper. If you look over his shoulder at the paper, there is a highlighted ad in the center of the page that says,



"Shakespeare JOB"



The caption below the image reads,





"And there it was the first truly honest ad I have ever seen."

I am Straw 97,995 37
06/18/2005 02:43 AM

You were a black-market arms dealer?



I was an auditor. So, same thing.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
06/18/2005 01:33 PM

I worked at Hardee's during high school. Lemme leave out the details, but:



Making out with/groping/second base in the breakroom of most of my female coworkers during the shift.



All the free food I could eat. Anytime.



Smoking all shift and taking help customer breaks.



Being fawned over by all my female coworkers because I was the only "normal" guy.



Being flashed the so-close-I-knew-she-was-a-natural-redhead Poe tattoo in the drive-thru by a coworker. Buster Bunny, by the way. Her and her two sisters were smokin' hot. See above about the breakroom, and their house, and in cars, among other places I can't even remember.



That job ruled.

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
06/18/2005 03:13 PM

HammerHead that last post almost sounded like it could have come from Lester Burnham in American Beauty.

EmpLloyd 48,662 14
06/18/2005 08:41 PM

I used to work at this job where I could work with this thing called a computer, and read this funny thing called a website, run by some guy called John. It was funny. Then I got a stupid sales job and I spend my day driving and runing around Toronto.

Senior Destructor: Professional Breakdancer 60,724 12
06/19/2005 02:47 AM

My girlfriend went down on me in the freezer at the Key Arena when I worked there. In the middle of a Sonics game.

Uncle Stumpy Chickens 286,527 61
06/19/2005 07:40 AM

when I know I'm just color-matching work I might go sans shorts.



Anyone else pop a boner at this word picture? Bueller? Anyone?

The Purple Snorkpernel. 45,655 12
06/19/2005 08:02 AM

All the free food I could eat. Anytime.



Hammerhead