gorckat 41,132 13
06/17/2005 02:33 PM

What'd ya tell the doctor?

Red Hairpiece 203,475 12
06/17/2005 02:33 PM

Putting anything sharp near your genitals after a few drinks is obviously a bad idea.



You deserve what you got.

gorckat 41,132 13
06/17/2005 02:34 PM

And can I submit your 'Personal Account' to the Darwin Awards website? Or will you be able to procreate?

PuggyD 48,304 12
06/17/2005 02:36 PM

Mavis wasn't able to procreate anyways.

Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
06/17/2005 02:37 PM

I'm a big procreator.

PuggyD 48,304 12
06/17/2005 02:37 PM

No, you're a big recreator.

The Mighty BobJohnson, Funkmaster 178,045 22
06/17/2005 02:38 PM

I once had a little, tiny cut on my penis. Of course, mine was from when a 747 crashed into it.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
06/17/2005 02:40 PM

When I see the title of this thread I just keep thinking of Yhere's Something About Mary, and the retard brother:



FrankandBeans FrankandBeans!

PuggyD 48,304 12
06/17/2005 02:41 PM

Bad, Brody. Now go to the chalkboard and write "I will work on my subtlety" 500 times.

supergrover 4,517 9
06/17/2005 02:41 PM

Oh BobJohnson, if I weren't already stalking Newwave, I'd seriously consider what your head would look like as a hat asking you on a date.

supergrover 4,517 9
06/17/2005 02:44 PM

When I see the title, I think of the scene in Trainspotting where Spud's had explosive diahrrea in his girlfriends bed and he goes into the kitchen the following morning to ask where the washer is and the family is eating franks and beans...And then they all get covered in poopoo.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/17/2005 02:47 PM

Did you go "Pornstar" or just "cleanyweiney"?

La Petite Mort de TableTopJane 173,958 15
06/17/2005 02:49 PM

A few days ago, I was laying in a bath because my back hurt. I was just trying to relax, and I had a book with me. It happens to be a book I really love, so when I dropped it, I jumped and tried to keep it from falling in the water.



I'm not sure exactly what happened, by my thumbnail came crashing down on my little love nubbin. Just rammed into it.



After trying to hold my screams of pain in, I put my robe on and kind of hobbled to the kitchen and got some ice. Ladies, a little advice. If you ever hurt your clit, don't put ice on it. It's not worth it.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
06/17/2005 03:01 PM

TTJ, I have been there.



I was riding my cousin's bike (he's a guy so it was one of those bikes with the bar from the seat to the handlebars) and was just cycling round the car park, weaving in and out of cars and such.



I didn't notice a raised kerb thing and flew into it. Due to the laws of Physics (damn you Newton, burn in Hell) I flew forward, landing squarely on the bar.



I couldn't physically get off the bike, so I just stood astride the bike, paralysed by shock and pain.

supergrover 4,517 9
06/17/2005 03:03 PM

I've never hurt my love nubbin. But really, I only posted because I want an excuse to say love nubbin.

DemoMonkey, Mr Contributes-nothing-to- the-world. 166,252 10
06/17/2005 03:04 PM

If it doesn't involve a baby coming out of you, getting hit in the nuts is ALWAYS worse.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
06/17/2005 03:06 PM

Damn straight, DM.





....

I've zippered El Hefe countless times.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
06/17/2005 03:08 PM

I think that crashing into a metal bike bar is on a par with getting hit in the nuts or whatever.



Just because our bits are more tucked away than boy's bits, doesn't mean it wont hurt as much.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
06/17/2005 03:09 PM

And by countless, I mean perhaps 3 or 4, However the pain is equivalent to... Oh. Right. Coleridge Piercing.



Nevermind, It ain't Shakespeare.

Sylvester 4,465 9
06/17/2005 03:11 PM

Is Thunderbird an acceptable wine choice for beans and franks?

gorckat 41,132 13
06/17/2005 03:15 PM

TTJ- you reminded me of a story my wife emailed me about one of her former co-workers.



Basically, she decided to touch-up her bikini area. She hated hot wax, so bought some kind of 'cold wax'. While standing with one foot on the toilet and applying, something or other happened and she put the raised foot on the floor and smothered her whole cocchie with wax, sealing it and her ass crack tighter than a 12 year old the week before she meets Ollie.



She called a girlfriend up on the phone and all she did was laugh. Then she called the help line on the box of wax, but was too embarassed to actually tell them the problem.



She ended up sitting in a hot bath to loosen the wax and had to scrape a good deal of the wax off with a razor.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
06/17/2005 03:15 PM

Just because our bits are more tucked away than boy's bits, doesn't mean it wont hurt as much.



Actually, Yes it does. And that's precisely why.



If your ovaries were hanging in a small flesh balloon connected to each of your labia, You'd realize how much of a pain in the ass it is to have balls.

Also, it would only take one sacking to realize our pain and give full complaining rights to us men.

DemoMonkey, Mr Contributes-nothing-to- the-world. 166,252 10
06/17/2005 03:19 PM

Dear Brody



Re: your comment "Just because our bits are more tucked away than boy's bits, doesn't mean it wont hurt as much."



Wrong.



Painful as it may be, short of childbirth or a good solid highland caber-raping, the exquisite agony of getting hit in the nuts hurts more than anything your girly parts can suffer.



Signed,

"Doubled over Demo"

dropkick brody 43,090 12
06/17/2005 03:22 PM

As nobody can really experience both, I'm guessing that each sex probably underestimates the other's pain.





But Holy Hell, that love nub thing must be directly connected to some sort of nerve because I physically couldn't move off the bike for a good half hour (the thought of rasing my leg up that high nearly made me faint) and I couldn't sit down for days.

Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
06/17/2005 03:24 PM

DR, I was using a #1. The schoolboy look doesn't suit me.

supergrover 4,517 9
06/17/2005 03:29 PM

Stop whining about having balls. Nobody sucks on my ovaries.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
06/17/2005 03:31 PM

that love nub thing must be directly connected to some sort of nerve

<action> files this quote in the "thats a given" cabinet </action>

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
06/17/2005 03:32 PM

Grover..



Toosh.

supergrover 4,517 9
06/17/2005 03:34 PM

<action> bats eyelashes innocently </action>

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
06/17/2005 03:40 PM

<action> whips balls out innocently </action>

dropkick brody 43,090 12
06/17/2005 03:42 PM

<action> kicks Hat squarely in the balls...innocently</action>

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/17/2005 03:45 PM

Brody, it's way cooler if you call him a douchenozzle first, i.e:





Suck this, douchenozzle!



</kicks hat in the balls>

Down for the count 91,274 10
06/17/2005 03:45 PM

Bitch.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
06/17/2005 03:48 PM

<action> hands Erika popcorn first </action> Take this, DOUCHENOZZLE!



</dropkicks Hat when he's down>

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/17/2005 03:49 PM

Nicely done, grasshoppa.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
06/17/2005 03:51 PM

Now that my testicles are rendered useless, Lets have some menacingly unprotected rough sex!





You owe me..

Pubah, The Incurable 56,805 18
06/17/2005 04:33 PM

Sorry to hear about your love button boo boo, Jane



Can Pubah kiss it and make it blacker...uh...better?

HighSoci 30,109 18
06/17/2005 07:37 PM

If it doesn't involve a baby coming out of you, getting hit in the nuts is ALWAYS worse.





I would have to disagree with you DM. I have been hit in the nads numerous times and although it does hurt like a mother-Froster, it doesn't come close to being shot in the eye with a frozen paintball. You know how much it hurts when you scratch your eye or get something in it? Magnify that about 100 times and there ya go. I would rather get hit in the balls 100 times than shot in the eye again with a paintball.

ringworm 68,315 13
06/17/2005 07:41 PM

i'd rather get shot in the balls w/ a frozen paintball.

Dogs Akimbo 211,574 32
06/18/2005 02:02 AM

I'd rather go to the Waffle House and get the blueberry syrup.

Vlad The Impaler (Purveyor of aMurder.com) 19,599 12
06/18/2005 12:20 PM

I'd rather masturbate furiously.





Wait, I already am.

Errol 10,584 9
06/19/2005 12:46 AM

I'd rather masturbate furiously.



Generally, I tend to masturbate happily, not furiously. I'm of the philosophy that self-pleasuring should be a joyful experience.

supergrover 4,517 9
06/19/2005 01:59 AM

I'm of the philosophy that the sooner I get done the sooner I can start again.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
06/19/2005 02:16 AM

I'm of the philosophy that the sooner I get done the sooner I can start again.



Multiple orgasms , Gods apology for periods and childbirth.

Errol 10,584 9
06/19/2005 02:19 AM

If men could have multiple orgasms....





I would spend all my money on lotion and my penis would just be a huge blister.