gorckat 41,132 13
06/20/2005 07:56 AM

...18 month old.



Shouldn't this be your second?

fabulounik 8,478 12
06/20/2005 08:41 AM

Gork- Sometimes the best daddies aren't daddies from birth.

gorckat 41,132 13
06/20/2005 09:01 AM

Gork- Sometimes the best daddies aren't daddies from birth.



That's what I figured, in which case Al deserves special commendation. I just don't remember seeing that tidbit mentioned in my short time here.

Uncle Stumpy Chickens 286,527 61
06/20/2005 09:15 AM

I got a new Filson Briefcase (read, "Keep going to word dad.)



and I got to take them all motorcrossing (read load and unload every bike, drive them there, and help them get their bikes restarted, all afternoon, etc.)



I was reminded that a Dad's job is to pay for and fix everything.



Why is it the Moms get breakfast in bed?

Uncle Stumpy Chickens 286,527 61
06/20/2005 09:16 AM

Oh, and they borrowed the money for the brief case from guess who?

gorckat 41,132 13
06/20/2005 09:21 AM

Why is it the Moms get breakfast in bed?



I didn't get that either! My wife slept for 4 hours covering lunch, so I did that too. When I took a nap, my wife and daughter went to see Shark Boy and Lava Girl, and then I had to cook dinner when they got back.



I got screwed.



(But I did get a kit with 2 wooden planes that my daughter and I put together and painted and Tiger Woods 2005 for the XBOX)

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/20/2005 09:32 AM

Why is it the Moms get breakfast in bed?



Moms have a better union.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
06/20/2005 10:00 AM

Dad's don't have to push a 7 lb object through their genitals

Phuc 237,919 21
06/20/2005 10:13 AM

I like to keep most of my private life private, instead of airing out in the open to bunch of internet strangers, some of whom are known kidnappers and others of whom are suspected child molesters and/or republicans.



I heard there may even be some libertarians on here, in which case, I have no children, I live in a bunker in Bolivia and grow marijuana that I give to American shoolchildren for free. Viva la Zapateria!

gorckat 41,132 13
06/20/2005 10:14 AM

<action>shudders</action>

...others of whom are suspected...republicans.

Kake-Pope of Chili town 55,555 14
06/20/2005 10:26 AM

Phuc, I've noticed irish/asian relations are breaking down. I shall buy you a drink at Zug 10, and we'll end up singing old irish drinking songs with a fake chinee accent all night.

Trixxiewan Kenobie 65,026 15
06/20/2005 10:31 AM

The rest of my family all their own little private father'd day thingees. So I spent the weekend with mom so she wouldn't be to lonely missing dad. See Fags do serve a useful purpose.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/20/2005 10:37 AM

Oh Danny boy, da pipe, da pipe ah cawringgggg...

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
06/20/2005 10:41 AM

Happy father's day, Al.



Saturday I bought myself a mondo Weber gas grill to compliment my charcoal grill.



Sunday I got woken up by The Critter shoving a homemade card in my face. After a breakfast of bagels and lox we went off to do a town bike ride and this morning our pictures were in the paper. We rule.



For dinner I cooked a leg of lamb and potatoes on the charcoal grill. Holy crap was that awesome.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/20/2005 10:42 AM

Musicologists have suggested that the Irish are descended from the Chinese, as evidenced by pentatonic scales and similar melodic/harmonic constructions.



My people's music is a little more complicated.



























What the Frost am I talking about "my people?" The only thing I can say in the language is "eat Shakespeare," and I don't even like durian.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
06/20/2005 10:44 AM

I would think the evidence would be in the way we both build railroads for the Americans.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
06/20/2005 10:50 AM

Congrats Phuc. When she is a teen ,and all decked out in whatever the wear will be in 2018,I hope you enjoy the same feelings.



Trixxe ,while I can not find one good word to say about my own mom yours most have been a special lady. You da Man.



I worked all day. Son is in Cancun for his graduation party and daughter is in Germany getting ready to come back to the states after 5 years.

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
06/20/2005 11:03 AM

After a breakfast of bagels and lox





I didn't know Nutbutter was a lousy Jew.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
06/20/2005 11:08 AM

I make a lousy Jew. I spend money freely and I love bacon.

Kake-Pope of Chili town 55,555 14
06/20/2005 11:19 AM

I'm celebrating Father's Day today. I'm going to go home, summon some tadpoles, and wipe my kids up with a paper towel. That'll show them.

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
06/20/2005 12:03 PM

Dad's don't have to push a 7 lb object through their genitals





Ooooohh........one whole 7 lb. baby......oooohh



Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? TWO-HUNDRED MILLION - that load, we're only talking about one load.



I've wiped nations off of my chest with a gray gym sock.

ENTIRE CIVILIZATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL!

I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping.

Boom! A Milky way shoots into my jockey shorts: "Unngh ... what's for Frost-ing breakfast?!"

-Bill Hicks

ringworm 68,315 13
06/20/2005 12:30 PM

my dad is dead.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
06/20/2005 12:40 PM

All this talk of Jews and bagels reminds me of a stand-up act I saw:

When my German friend visited me in New York, I took him out for a bagel. He said, "This is great! You can't get a bagel like this in Germany." I said, "And whose fault is that?"

Kake-Pope of Chili town 55,555 14
06/20/2005 12:43 PM

I DO believe I deserve more clickies for my new masturbation euphemism "Summoning Tadpoles."

Trixxiewan Kenobie 65,026 15
06/20/2005 12:59 PM

I clicked you, but coaxing out sounds better.

gorckat 41,132 13
06/20/2005 01:06 PM

I DO believe I deserve more clickies for my new masturbation euphemism "Summoning Tadpoles."



If you had mentioned that you would vigorously use Summon Tadpole while playing Final Fantasy XXX, you would've gotten the geek vote.

Kake-Tadpole Summoner 55,555 14
06/20/2005 01:11 PM

I have a +2 tadpole modifier against fire damage.

gorckat 41,132 13
06/20/2005 01:24 PM

Yo mamma's got a Vagina of Holding.

Duuuuh 24,152 8
06/20/2005 01:31 PM

Using the KY armband for added speed and the Viagra Tab for power you should have an easy time calling into action all those lazy tadpoles to do your bidding. It will be worse than the flying monkeys from that gay movie, which mostly likely will end up in another gay movie freely distributed on the internet which will lead to your eventual drunken isolation from society due to your embarassment about lasting only 20 seconds including the time it takes you to undress.

Kake-Tadpole Summoner 55,555 14
06/20/2005 01:35 PM

Duuuuh, you are a homo.

Duuuuh 24,152 8
06/20/2005 01:39 PM

It's ok dude, I have been drunkenly isolated from society for the last 17 years of my life. True, I never ended up in a gay porn. But hey, that's what acid and Henessey are for!

Trixxiewan Kenobie 65,026 15
06/20/2005 01:45 PM

"True, I never ended up in a gay porn. " I can probably get you a screen test, probably.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
06/20/2005 01:53 PM

I got my dad a fluid inspection.





Lord you people are sick.





...for his car!

Duuuuh 24,152 8
06/20/2005 02:02 PM

Come on Trixxie, that's what the last person said to me before proceeding to violate me in every way imaginable and leaving my sticky and mentally scarred body on my doorstep. I was so upset I sent him a longwinded letter threatening legal action since he didn't take video of said anal rapage for production in his latest movie:" It's raining Anal Rapage". By the end of the letter I had decided that I didn't want to be in any of his movies since he would never give me the amount of attention that I, an absolutely normal escaped psychopathic mental patient, need. Thanks, but no thanks Mr. Gates.

Master of the Obvious 3,169 9
06/20/2005 02:07 PM

Duuuuh talks a lot.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/20/2005 03:01 PM

I took my father drinking.

Kake-Tadpole Summoner 55,555 14
06/20/2005 03:06 PM

I cancelled my EverQuest 2 account, and sent my dad all the money I had, which was a lot.

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/20/2005 03:26 PM

Dads don't have to push a 7 lb object through their genitals



Moms have a worse union.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/20/2005 06:41 PM

"Summoning tadpoles" is the best one I've heard since something about Demo's monkeychlorians.

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/21/2005 01:14 AM

You should get out more.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
06/21/2005 11:47 AM

I made my dad a CD for his brithday, and when I go to London I plan to buy him a Zepplin T-shirt.



I texted him happy father's day on Sunday but I got no reply or phone call. That reminds me... I really should phone him.

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
06/21/2005 04:18 PM

my dad is dead.



I have two dead dads, a suspended drivers' license* and a wrecked bicycle*.



So I don't want to hear anyone else's Fathers' Day sob stories.











*Actually, I got my license back today, and the bike shop guy says he can fix the wreck as good as new.

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
06/21/2005 04:20 PM

And I just remembered - I'm getting a new dad (#3!) on November 25, 2007.



So forget what I said. I'll be happy to hear your sob stories.

Declan McManus. Rarely pure, Never simple. 131,877 36
06/21/2005 05:10 PM

2007? Ilean's not in her usual rush this time.

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
06/21/2005 05:43 PM

Post-Menopausal pregnancies are blessedly rare, but if anyone were to have one...





So shut your mouth. I'm not ready for an 11th sibling.