Ditdah, sick of counting 123,110 14
06/21/2005 09:51 PM

You want to explain it for those of us that are good, pure, sweet people?

Errol 10,584 9
06/21/2005 09:53 PM

I've hogged lots of things. Blankets, food, and couch space mostly. I do it all the time, and I do enjoy it!

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
06/21/2005 09:53 PM

HAVE YOU EVER FrostED OR FOOLED AROUND WITH A FAT GUY/GIRL YOU NORMALLY WOULDN'T BUT WERE DESPERATE ENOUGH TO DO?



or





THE TYPE BELOW YOUR NORMAL STATION IN LIFE WHERE YOU WANTED TO CHEW YOUR OWN ARM OFF IN THE MORNING aka Coyote ugly..to get away?

High Priestess 58,884 29
06/21/2005 09:53 PM

I learned how to tie a hog knot in 5th grade, but never the chance to rope my own hog and tie it until 10th.....Oh, different hoggin.

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
06/21/2005 09:54 PM

No. I haven't.

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
06/21/2005 09:55 PM

And thanks for lowering my self-esteem even more!

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
06/21/2005 09:55 PM

I know a guy who went out with a girl... sobered up enough during the interlude to see what he'd done.



So, he pulls the car into a convenience store because the girl wants a drink. She goes in. He leaves.........



She didn't even know his name.

Errol 10,584 9
06/21/2005 09:57 PM

Prom night. I got decently intoxicated and did a lot of fooling around with a girl who I DEFINATELY wouldn't fool around with sober.



Then I woke up in the morning and gave the sermon at our Church for Youth Sunday about what it means for Jesus to be Lord.





I can't make this stuff up, people. I'm a bad man.

Ditdah, sick of counting 123,110 14
06/21/2005 09:57 PM

No, I'd probably be the one getting "hogged."



I have to go have another drink now. Thanks.

DemoMonkey, Mr Contributes-nothing-to- the-world. 166,252 10
06/21/2005 10:01 PM

Wendy lady





You aren't THAT fat.





Glad to help,

Demo

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
06/21/2005 10:03 PM

Thanks Demo!



My fat index is 25% less then it was at Gabessee so I'm doing ok these days.

Pistolet 10,071 9
06/21/2005 10:04 PM

I sat my fat ass on someone's head before. Does that count?

Raccoon of Loathing 56,688 10
06/21/2005 10:05 PM

Errol, that's the second time in an hour that I've laughed outright at your posts.



Back tho the topic... We used to go to this couples' club in Maryland and we'd become a bit chummy with this one couple one night. Nothing significant, same room sex is all. Anyway, a couple weeks later we went back to the same club and took my friend from work and her husband. When she saw this other couple she just gave me this weird look and said "really?" She did this all night. A couple weeks later we went back and I didn't drink. Turns out that other couple were NOT as attractive as I had thought there were the previous two (drunken) times I'd seen them.

Errol 10,584 9
06/21/2005 10:05 PM

Also, the girl wasn't even my date.







I've checked, sins on Prom Night don't count. It even says so in the bible. Song of Songs 4:5



"Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lillies."



You have to do some reading between the lines, but I'm pretty sure it's there.

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
06/21/2005 10:05 PM

a) was there rope involved?

b) did he live?

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
06/21/2005 10:05 PM

One night, two friends and I were in my favorite bar, Bodo's, in Myrtle Beach.



We were sitting at the bar, and were about a half a sheet to the wind, when I saw....



IT



At the end of the bar.



She was no prize, but after a drink or two, she definitely passed for the "I'd let her blow me" stage, but I wanted more.



I looked over at my two friends, and said, "Hey, see that chick over there? I'm gonna Frost that."



I went over and introduced myself, she said her name was Donna. When Donna talked, I noticed that every tooth on the right side of her mouth was either missing, or blacker than midnight in Persia...but, undeterred, I asked if she wanted to go back to my place, which, big shock, she did.



I'm not trying to insinuate that she was desperate, and would probably STILL be sitting there on the barstool, but apparently it IS tough to keep your hands off a hottie like me...just ask Trae.



Anyway, I get her back to my place, and we begin to go at it. While I am banging her from behind, I begin to notice a rancid smell, which turned out to be not what you are thinking, but instead, it was her feet.



Anyway, I am Frost-ing her from behind, she's so fat it looks like I am trying to nudge a sofa closer to the wall, and I hear the front door open. It was my roomate (God rest his soul.)



I was in NO WAY going to let him see her come out of my room, so I devised a plan. I told her that this was HIS house, and he has a strict "NO VISITORS" rule.



I made her squeeze through the window...sure I had to butter the sash, but she made it.



I haven't seen her since.

High Priestess 58,884 29
06/21/2005 10:06 PM

I sat my fat ass on someone's head before. Does that count?



No, because it was my head and I was asleep!

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
06/21/2005 10:08 PM

Chance is gonna SO kill you for posting that, Chris.

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
06/21/2005 10:10 PM

A chubby girl can be a lot of fun, so I wouldn't consider it hogging unless she was fat and ugly.



And yes, I've been hogging.

Pistolet 10,071 9
06/21/2005 10:11 PM

Actually, it was Jenna's head. Multiple times. (She's the one in the trunk.) Even though she's about twice as strong as I am and can surely lift me, something about sitting on her head just renders her powerless.



I think she likes it.

McRib, Professional Loser 13,155 9
06/21/2005 10:12 PM

I remember the first time I plowed a fat chick very well. It was the same day I'd gotten drunk and danced with the box containing my grandmothers ashes that my mother was to scatter at our cabin the following day. I remember passing out and waking up not remembering where I'd put grandma's box.



My brother, who came home while I was on the phone with a friend heard me saying, "Dude, I was dancing with my dead grandma last night and I lost her. I hope I didn't do something stupid, like put her in the fridge."

Ditdah, sick of counting 123,110 14
06/21/2005 10:13 PM

On behalf of all the fat chicks on the board -



You all suck!!!

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
06/21/2005 10:14 PM

I remember passing out and waking up not remembering where I'd put grandma's box.





Hopefully back between her legs, so no one would notice.

Raccoon of Loathing 56,688 10
06/21/2005 10:17 PM

Ditdah, actually, Whistler doesn't suck because he likes big girls, just not ugly ones and I can't fault him there.

Declan McManus. Rarely pure, Never simple. 131,877 36
06/21/2005 10:20 PM

Yes. and yes.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
06/21/2005 10:22 PM

I violated a virgina ham once. Does that count?

Ditdah, sick of counting 123,110 14
06/21/2005 10:22 PM

Well, I do agree with that. And I wouldn't consider myself ugly, so I still love Whistler.

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
06/21/2005 10:25 PM

I know I'm a cold hearted bitch. I guess I should've clarified. Not necessarily fat.... but those who you wished you didn't and normally wouldn't have.



Does that redeem me a little?

Declan McManus. Rarely pure, Never simple. 131,877 36
06/21/2005 10:30 PM

Does that redeem me a little?





Like a tree dolla book of S & H Green Stamps, dearie.

I lost my Trae of thought 156,790 17
06/21/2005 10:34 PM

A whole book???



Kickass.

Raccoon of Loathing 56,688 10
06/21/2005 10:38 PM

I'm more concerned about the people who have NO standards, who think there are no ugly people. Are you kidding me? Really?

Chance 171,275 14
06/21/2005 10:40 PM

One night, I was at Bodo's, in Myrtle Beach.

I was sitting at the bar alone, cause I'm pathetic like that. Anways...after about 5 shots of whiskey.....



IT approached me.





He was no prize, unless you count the blue ribbon pig winner at the state fair, but he definitely passed for the "I'd let him eat my puss" stage.



Well he came over and introduced himself, I told him my name was Donna. I Definately wasn't telling someone who called themselves Mufftaur my name. Anyways he asked me to go back to his place, I hesitated, but I did.



I'm not trying to insinuate that I am desperate, hell I'd probably still be sitting there on the barstool, but apparently he had some kind of charm...just ask Trae.



So, we get her back to his place, and we begin to go at it. I let him take me from behind cause i doubt, if I had to look at him, I'd get off. I farted a few times so he would hurry up and finish.



So there we are naked and going at it like two Rhinos in heat and someone walks through the front door. He goes to check who it is, and I climbed out his window. I could imagine a weirdo like him locking me in a well telling me "It rubs the lotion on its skin." Yeah, not me, no Frost-ing way.





Anyway, thank God I haven't seen him since...that would be embarrasing.

MiLLie 116,988 28
06/21/2005 10:42 PM

Not really. I have slept with a guy who had a very large beer belly, but I didn't really regret it. He was cute otherwise.



His belly did make things awkward, though.



I don't like to work too hard at having sex, so I'd probably think twice next time a guy with a big gut asks me out.



I'm not talking a little chubby--his tummy looked like he was about to give birth any minute.

gorckat 41,132 13
06/21/2005 10:42 PM

Got drunk one night; big bottle of kiwi lime MD 20/20.

Asked buddy for a rubber; said he was out.

Believed it when he said she was sterile or some Shakespeare.

Humped the heffer on the floor for a minute or so.

Stumbled to the laundry sink, hung myself by the armpits over the edge.

Barfed several times.

Woke up 3 hours later and bolted.

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
06/21/2005 10:43 PM

Oh my God Chance, I love you.





I just woke my son up, from laughing so hard.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/21/2005 10:44 PM

Dude gork, are you really gonna talk about soemone else? Cause I'm pretty sure you're the hoggin' story for every girl you've ever slept with.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/21/2005 10:47 PM

Um, would it make me any less horrible if I admitted that I really didn't wanna make that post?

Raccoon of Loathing 56,688 10
06/21/2005 10:49 PM

Would it make me any less horrible if I hadn't clicked it?

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
06/21/2005 10:57 PM

Fat,250# or more, Black and ugly. All women need some lovin at some point.







It's all pink on the inside.

Kake- Lvl 50 Tadpole Summoner 55,555 14
06/21/2005 10:59 PM

I date Fabs. KIDDING! (She's right behind me)



No, in Guam, the girl to guy ratio is retarded, since there's so many guys. It's hard to even get a fat chicks. So when we went hogging, we'd have contests to see who could bag the worst. My friend always won. One time, he brought a girl home, and she ended up peeing the bed. So he pulled the garden hose through the window, and she woke up to a cold blast of water, and him naked, smoking a cigar while spraying her down.



There was another time where he brought a girl home, they had sex, and he rolled over and started getting dressed. "Get out." he said "What?"



"Get out. I'm done here."

Kake- Lvl 50 Tadpole Summoner 55,555 14
06/21/2005 11:00 PM

There's a place in heaven for guys who Frost fat chicks.

Raccoon of Loathing 56,688 10
06/21/2005 11:00 PM

What kind of sentence was that? Are you saying you'd be down for it if she was "so fat it looked like you were trying to nudge a sofa closer to the wall"?

Raccoon of Loathing 56,688 10
06/21/2005 11:00 PM

Um, that was for reaper.

MiLLie 116,988 28
06/21/2005 11:00 PM

That's mean.

Kake- Lvl 50 Tadpole Summoner 55,555 14
06/21/2005 11:01 PM

I'm just sayin' fat girls need love, too. And sometimes all a guy needs is a wet, warm place.

MiLLie 116,988 28
06/21/2005 11:01 PM

Mine was for Kake.

MiLLie 116,988 28
06/21/2005 11:01 PM

I was saying your friend was mean.

Chance 171,275 14
06/21/2005 11:02 PM

I heard once you go fat you never go back.......Oh who the Frost am I kidding.



*runs away crying*

Raccoon of Loathing 56,688 10
06/21/2005 11:03 PM

Millie's right. The correct line would have been "Thanks, I guess we're done here then?"

gorckat 41,132 13
06/21/2005 11:03 PM

I'll have to find a picture of me from high school, erika. I used to be a stud; now I'm a stub.



And I didn't find your post offensive at all, queef juice.

Fluro, President of Takapuna 14,139 11
06/21/2005 11:05 PM

Never, ever. Never have and never will.

I have been drunk and seen my freinds do it but I have high standards that even drink dose not lower.



Ok, but only just a little bit.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
06/21/2005 11:07 PM

"t if she was "so fat it looked like you were trying to nudge a sofa closer to the wall"?



At the time it happened. Not a question of being down with that. I don't/did'nt look for it but it happened.



Sex,Drugs and Rock&Roll was the saying back then and some lived it.

fabulounik 8,478 12
06/21/2005 11:07 PM

Never thought I would...Kake proved me wrong.

MiLLie 116,988 28
06/21/2005 11:08 PM

I've noticed that a lot of men have standards way higher than they should.



Luckily for men, women tend to suffer from low self-esteem, which allows a lot of fat, disgusting men to get laid.

La Petite Mort de TableTopJane 173,958 15
06/21/2005 11:13 PM

I'm glad there are chubby lovers in the world. If there weren't there would be many many people who would never get laid.

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
06/21/2005 11:15 PM

<action>walks into thread, sighs heavily, slumps back out of thread with head hung low.</action>

Filly 39,193 20
06/21/2005 11:15 PM

Sadly, I can think of way too many male GABbers who fit that description.

Filly 39,193 20
06/21/2005 11:17 PM

Um...that was to millie's comment.

Declan McManus. Rarely pure, Never simple. 131,877 36
06/21/2005 11:20 PM

Come to Declan, Spicey.

gorckat 41,132 13
06/21/2005 11:21 PM

I've noticed that a lot of men have standards way higher than they should.



I was going to have links here to naughty pics of fat chicks labeled Yes, Maybe, No and Aaargh my eyes!, but decided to jack off to some quality porn instead.

Senior Destructor: Professional Dancebreaker 60,724 12
06/21/2005 11:23 PM

I hate really skinny girls.



I always feel like I'm gonna break them.

Raccoon of Loathing 56,688 10
06/21/2005 11:26 PM

SD, I feel the same way.

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
06/21/2005 11:26 PM

Have I ever told you guys about my fear of excess body hair?

Senior Destructor: Professional Dancebreaker 60,724 12
06/21/2005 11:27 PM

Damn you Roofie...





My zipper just hit me in the eye.

Fluro, President of Takapuna 14,139 11
06/21/2005 11:27 PM

Sadly, I can think of way too many male GABbers who fit that description.



Steady....

HighSoci 30,109 18
06/21/2005 11:37 PM

When will you all learn that it isn't about how someone looks, but more about how they present themselves?

Suicide Ranger is good for you 27,937 12
06/21/2005 11:40 PM

I have a problem with very skinny girls. When you are 250 lbs and 6'3'' if they don't look or feel substantial you can't feel anything. I know the girls I work with like to give me hugs, and it is like getting a broom handle pressed into my chest lengthwise. Let me say this to all the skinny chicks out there. It is much easier to knock out and rape a tinny skinny chick then it is a big one.

Fluro, President of Takapuna 14,139 11
06/21/2005 11:41 PM

Luckily for men, women tend to suffer from low self-esteem, which allows a lot of fat, disgusting men to get laid.



Oh Shakespeare. Somthing is really really bad here.

The Man who Shot Liberty Valence 48,304 12
06/21/2005 11:41 PM

I don't know if I think y'all are horrible people or just philanthropists.

Fluro, President of Takapuna 14,139 11
06/21/2005 11:44 PM

Skinny is bad, but there is a definate "right size"

ChiliDog 322 10
06/21/2005 11:45 PM

What a topic to pick to introduce myself to the boards, but we were just talking about this the other day at work.



Well, I've been called the ultimate "Wing-Man" once or twice because I've thrown myself on a few grenades so a friend could bag the hot girl in the group. Of course the funniest hoggin' experience I've had, ended up with me in bed with both of her less than attractive roommates and my buddy struck-out. He still owes me for that one.





Or do I owe him?

HighSoci 30,109 18
06/21/2005 11:47 PM

I would say he owes the two hogs you bagged.

Fluro, President of Takapuna 14,139 11
06/21/2005 11:47 PM

My friend has taken some of the most amazingly disgusting women to bed. He's not being anyone's wingman. He just dosen't care.

Senior Destructor: Professional Dancebreaker 60,724 12
06/21/2005 11:48 PM

You know the "Ultamite Wing Man" is normally just the guy that likes to Frost the fat chicks, right?

ChiliDog 322 10
06/21/2005 11:50 PM

Ouch

Suicide Ranger is good for you 27,937 12
06/21/2005 11:53 PM

I thought the "Ultamite Wing Man" was Goose.

daisypie 49,378 9
06/21/2005 11:54 PM

Kudos to Chance and Chris! Especially for:



"she's so fat it looks like I am trying to nudge a sofa closer to the wall"



and the beautiful riposte:



"i doubt, if I had to look at him, I'd get off. I farted a few times so he would hurry up and finish"



Well done!

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/21/2005 11:58 PM

I have never hogged but I have a few guy friends who, every once in a while, will compete to see who can bring home the ugliest girl. The winner drinks for free the next night at the expense of the losers. Ironically, this usually leads to the winner hoggin' it two nights in a row.

Fluro, President of Takapuna 14,139 11
06/21/2005 11:58 PM

It WAS goose.

Fluro, President of Takapuna 14,139 11
06/21/2005 11:59 PM

I could never bring myself to even compete in that kind of competition. I just don't understand people who go hogging.

daisypie 49,378 9
06/22/2005 12:04 AM

<action>hopes that he's never been the hoggee...</action>I agree with Fluro.

Lunchbox 14,650 10
06/22/2005 01:18 AM

I don't like skinny chicks or dudes either. Women gotta have some curves and men gotta have some bulk and fur.



The most embarrassing sex moment I have had was when I hooked up with this twink. He was skinny as a rail and short, too. I have never even been with a woman that skinny. Even his dick was skinny. Give me some cushion for the pushin' anyday.

I am Straw 97,995 37
06/22/2005 01:44 AM

Stuff like this always makes me think of a play I had to read in college. Don't recall the name of it, but it was about poor black people. Anyway, one character couldn't understand why the other character was cheating on his wife with a fat chick. He replied that it was "like ridin' on Goodyears." For some reason, I always hear James Earl Jones' voice saying that in my head.

Penis Von Merryworth 203,475 12
06/22/2005 01:50 AM

Pistol can sit on my head any day.

Penis Von Merryworth 203,475 12
06/22/2005 01:50 AM

Uh oh. Ollie's drunk!

ringworm 68,315 13
06/22/2005 04:48 AM

my curiosity has been satisfied. i won't be doing it again.

Uncle Stumpy Chickens 286,527 61
06/22/2005 07:08 AM

Big girls need the lovin too.



And I've never once be dissatisfied with a girl with a little extra puShakespeare's all good.

Uncle Stumpy Chickens 286,527 61
06/22/2005 07:17 AM

I will tell my best one.



I was at a bar in Ft. Lauderdale doing all that wet tee shirt spring break stuff. We were hanging out with a bunch of girls who were across the hall from us in our hotel. There was this one girl in their crowd who was the only big girl. She was also however the life of the party. She and I had been hanging all night though I had my eye on her roommate. We went back to her room searching for her missing roommate, and ended up doing a several shots while we were waiting.



Next thing I knew, the world was all about her double D's and she was on the bed, hams up over my shoulders, little chickens was buryed balls deep, and my roomies for the week who have just kicked the door down are all behind us getting pictures of my skinny ass working what had been a good thing up till that minute.



I still wonder where those pictures are and expect them to show up in a plain brown envelope any day with a demand for money.

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
06/22/2005 07:32 AM

What do you think was in the "mystery box" you just won, huh?

Rep. Jep Rep. 007 58,758 13
06/22/2005 07:35 AM

Luckily for men, women tend to suffer from low self-esteem, which allows a lot of fat, disgusting men to get laid.



Amen, Millie, Amen. (Couldn't figure out how to spell "Haleillelua")



I believe it was this character that allowed me to consistantly date women that were way out of my league when I was single. You show up with confidence and get them laughing and next thing you know, their chewing their arms off to get away from you in the morning.



As for hoggin', I've done plenty. My standards were pretty low. I'm sure I've posted several anecdotes about this subject before though.

Uncle Stumpy Chickens 286,527 61
06/22/2005 07:44 AM

I will also depart this one. I was such a beer goggled slut at one point, that at the end of a keg party we had thrown at our house, this middle weight chick whom to this day I have no idea who she is, walked up to me and said this short sentence: "What are you doing the rest of the night?"



"You?" I questioned.



That was the sum total of our lifetime conversation, though we did have teh sex. I got up and went to work leaving her in my bed. Never seen her since. I think she was a roomate of one of my housemates' girlfriend but just not sure.

Benguins, lover of penguins 1,612 9
06/22/2005 08:07 AM

Back in the day, when I was desperate and single, I brought home a 2am special, but had to disturb the act while I ran to the bathroom for a session of prayer to the porcelain god...but on my return, she appeared to have done a runner (and who coud really blame her?).



I saw her again, though, when she emerged from my flatmate's room the next morning.

Aroungry Aroungry Aimless 54,807 10
06/22/2005 10:17 AM

One of my friends in high school was a hog and proud of it. She started dating a friend of my boyfriend's who was this skinny twerp of a man who LOVED fat chicks. Anyway, one night we were at a party at his house and I was looking for my friend (or pot, I can't really remember) and I opened the door to the bedroom and there she was on the bed, naked, sitting on her knees. I started to ask her what the hell she was doing when there was a rustling between her legs and out pops Jeff, her boyfriend.



It was the most horrific thing I have ever seen.

gorckat 41,132 13
06/22/2005 10:29 AM

<action>wipes away the tears of laughter</action>

...there was a rustling between her legs and out pops Jeff, her boyfriend.



God, I hope the mattress was soft enough to help him absorb that mass of flesh on him.

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
06/22/2005 10:31 AM

You know she's a hog, when she sits on your face, and you can no longer hear the stereo.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
06/22/2005 10:36 AM

Long lost photo Chickens was wondering about.

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
06/22/2005 10:58 AM

No, this is it, although, I never knew Chickens was this tan.



NSFW

And the winner is Chickens 286,527 61
06/22/2005 12:30 PM

Reaper, that is one of the top ten best pics on the net. I've always loved it.



But no, those calfs are too slim for that to have been my big adventure.

Raccoon of Loathing 56,688 10
06/22/2005 12:35 PM

Lord Almighty, Garrett, that's bad. Sadly, I've seen something much like that in real life and had to look away. Later the girl told me the guy wasn't great. The guy told me it was near impossible to maintain an erection at all.

And the winner is Chickens 286,527 61
06/22/2005 12:37 PM

Wow. Monika Lewinsky has really let herself go.

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
06/22/2005 01:04 PM

I violated a virgina ham once. Does that count?







Honey baked, spiral Carroll, no doubt.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/22/2005 02:06 PM

Waiting here on line

Suddenly from behind

She's still a block away

Why'd it have to be today

Now what do I see

She recognizes me

She hugs and squeezes me

She's the Spandex Enormity



She's so sweet when she's yanking on my meat

Then she yells is this trick or treat

It's too late she asks me for a date

Before I'd Frost I'd rather masturbate

Spandex, Spandex Enormity

A beast sent from Hell to plague me with misery



What a Frost-ing beast

Her ass alone would be a feast

And her love drippings

Contained a stench of rotted yeast

The show must go on

It's the end of me

Taking up the whole front row

It's the Spandex Enormity



She's so sweet when she's yanking on my meat

Then she yells is this trick or treat

It's too late she asks me for a date

Before I'd Frost I'd rather masturbate

Spandex, Spandex Enormity

A beast sent from hell to plague me with misery



As we were walking off stage

You're waiting to come back

She's got a back stage pass

Oh no

I hide my head

The sight of you I dread

Her chubby little fingers grab my ass

Don't talk to me, talk to Nick, talk to Nick

Why does it always have to be me

You Frost-ing fat bitch

I've had enough of you

Take your blubber buns and leave

She left here in tears

Followed by her rear

I could not help she's fat

Chance 171,275 14
11/25/2005 01:56 PM

Blumpkin

Chance 171,275 14
11/27/2005 05:27 PM

I am the comedian! Well in my own mind.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
05/10/2006 09:40 AM

PhillyPhlava!

Pubah Lives to Smack Chance on the Backside 56,805 18
06/29/2006 11:20 AM

<action>Bumps Chance, cause she likes it</action>



It's your month girl...get all the gusto you can.





Pubah go now...

Take a Chance on Chickens 286,527 61
06/29/2006 11:23 AM

Dayum.

UnderWhere? - I'm touching myself right now 101,398 77
06/29/2006 12:41 PM

I don't think I'm going to post anything in this thread.

Chancelacka 68,758 11
06/29/2006 12:51 PM

My first BJ was from a girl that weighed in close to 300lbs. She swallowed, and made us both a nice big breakfast the next morning. True, she ate most of it, but she will still always have a special place in my heart.

Chance Friend #1004 7,665 11
06/29/2006 01:03 PM

I violated a virgina ham once.



If I ask for one of those at the market, do I pronounce it like it rhymes with angina?

Albert of the Meat 10,702 8
06/29/2006 02:52 PM

For me, hogging it means Frost-ing one of those preppy, popular girls that everyone seems to love. I hate them all, but unfortunately, I have hogged it a good bit.

Sharribarri exhuberates fantasticisms 14,124 11
06/29/2006 02:56 PM

I'm sorry! But I though of Chance when I read this. For obvious reasons, none of my own creating.

Chance 171,275 14
10/21/2008 12:37 PM

Thanks Sharri. Momma likes the twinkie cookbook!

Bump for the nubians.

Ravos 2.0 63,467 21
10/21/2008 01:50 PM

So I'm trying to figure this out.

Fat & Ugly chick = bad.
Threesome = good.
Threesome with Fat & Ugly chicks = ??

Duce aka. The Great Glatt Kosher 313 5
10/21/2008 03:10 PM

Meh, somewhere in the middle.

Duce aka. The Great Glatt Kosher 313 5
10/21/2008 03:24 PM

Luckily i've never hogged.

I think the closest I ever came to Hogging was this one time, I was taking an hour long bus ride on a coach bus, I'm the only one on the bus and suddenly this WHALE of a woman gets on to the bus, I swear the shocks sank about a foot, and she comes walking down the isle she has to turn to be able to walk down the rows of seats! She sits opposite me on the other side of the bus and just stares and gives me these weird, what it think were meant to be sexy looks, and she did it the entire hour we were on the bus. I hauled ass out of there when we got to the last stop so she wouldn't follow me, not that she could if she tried, I bet her top speed was half a mile an hour.

Ravos 2.0 63,467 21
10/21/2008 08:48 PM

I've managed to avoid hogging, but came close twice. The first time I met this girl off a dating site, and her pics weren't the great, but I thought "Hey, you know, maybe she has a great personality. Boy was I mistaken. But I'm pretty sure she would have been willing to call up one of her girlfriends for a 3-some. Too bad I'm not into linebackers. She met some random people she knew, and told them I was her new boyfriend. I told her I had made other plans by mistake, and had to go. So I ran.

Ravos 2.0 63,467 21
10/21/2008 08:51 PM

The other time I came much closer. I had drank a lot and we went out to a gay friend's birthday party at a bar with another friend, and his boyfriend. We are walking to one of my friend's places after the bar closed, and he had picked up, and it looked like I was playing wingman as her friend was coming along. She is tanked. The whole way she is saying how "These 2 gay guys are like, my best friends ever." We get back to my friend's place, and the gay guys are asking me "Are you sure you wanna do this?" and I was confidently saying "Yea, I'm good." So, she ends up going to the bathroom as we're all sitting around, and we hear her in the bathroom puking. I ask her friend how they know eachother, and she says "I don't even know who she is, I just met her the same time as you guys." Interesting...

At this point, I'm pretty turned off by the puking. I would have loved a BJ, but I don't want my dick covered in stomach acid. I start sobering up a bit, and the gay guys leave, and as they do, ask if I'm sure I'm gunna be alright. I say "Hopefully" as I realize if gay guys are warning me how nasty it is, it has gotta be pretty nasty. The girl just looks at me and says "What does that mean?" so I change the subject. My friend crashes with the girl he picked up, and this girl's ass falls out of her pants as she is just standing there because her pants can't even hold her fat ass. She suggests we go back to her place and it is 5am. I say "Here is a pillow, there is a couch. Go to sleep." and I sleep on the other couch. I sleep with 1 eye open for an hour, then sneak out.

Duce aka. The Great Glatt Kosher 313 5
10/22/2008 06:53 AM

What do you call two fat people Frost-ing?

An earthquake.

Ravos 2.0 63,467 21
10/22/2008 10:37 AM

"Unfortunate"

Vagrant Chickens 286,527 61
10/22/2008 03:01 PM

I was working as a hotel clerk second shift during college and this girl started working there who was pretty but stout. She was going through culinary school to run hotels. She started bringing me these surprise really elaborate dinners on the nights that we worked together. Then on the one night I week I worked third shift to spell the guy who did that regularly she would come up to "visit" with me.

Third shift wasn't called graveyard for nothing so ANYTHING was better than sitting there all night with no tv twiddling my thumbs after doing the 45 minutes of work required for that 8 hour shift.

So maybe the second time she visited me during a third shift we had some sort of beef la creme of flamebroiled somethingorother and a glass of wine or two then she proceeds to hit her knees under the counter and offer me the dessert.

I remember this guy that was a co-worker, a real guy's guy, saying how nice it was that I was showing her attention and being nice to her and all when she was a little big. I said she was a sweet kid, could really cook, and could suck then entire boredom out of a long third shift.

He couldn't look at me without laughing for 6 months. I think she was gone like a week later.

TraeKruger 156,790 17
10/22/2008 07:00 PM

M

I've managed to avoid hogging, but came close twice.

Coming on yourself counts, Ravos.

Ravos 2.0 63,467 21
10/23/2008 12:57 PM

Then it is significantly more than twice.