Chance 171,275 14
06/27/2005 08:56 PM

$35.00

McRib, eating gravy-filled cupcakes 13,155 9
06/27/2005 08:59 PM

So people are paying to find out the person's name? That's it? Give me a shot of the person doing full frontal and I'll be more than happy to bid away.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/27/2005 09:00 PM

Also, thanks Chance for reminding me - please use bold for serious bids.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/27/2005 09:01 PM

It's Erika's.

<action>ruins the game</action>

Chance 171,275 14
06/27/2005 09:01 PM

I'm bidding on a lap dance....right?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/27/2005 09:03 PM

Well it is in my head and nothing will change that.

Chance 171,275 14
06/27/2005 09:16 PM

Its really my butt. I bid so I wouldnt make myself feel bad. Don't tell me though.

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/27/2005 09:19 PM

Does winning the auction include a meat-n-grope meet-n-greet?

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
06/27/2005 09:19 PM

I can't be as generous as Chance, but I admit that the shiny bottom has peaked my curiosity.



$10

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/27/2005 09:29 PM

Chance, no lapdance from youself. Frog, no it doesn't - that would have to be negotiated personally later.



I'M NOT A PIMP! (Not for lack of trying, though.)

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
06/27/2005 10:58 PM

Even though I think I have it figured out already:



$10

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/27/2005 11:24 PM

Unlike some people *cough*Frat*cough* there are no identifying items in this picture so I don't know how anyone can think they know who it is. To my knowledge, this is the first ass picture in circulation from this person.



But Whistler, I must say, I like it that you're an ass man. Or are at least pretending to be for this excercise.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
06/28/2005 12:20 AM

I say we need a police ass line up.

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
06/28/2005 12:47 AM

By the way, Roofie...Lovely alliteration in the thread title.

newwave 45,912 10
06/28/2005 12:48 AM

-alliteration+assonance

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
06/28/2005 12:48 AM

I am an ass man. EJ has about the finest ass you'll ever see.



First I analyzed the photo, getting a good sense of the height to weight proportions of the individual in question, along with muscle tone and skin hue.



Next I went through the photo album, trying to match up names and faces to the approximate weight and age indicated by the ass in question. Then I threw out the folks who wouldn't be able to resist claiming the ass as their own (if it were), and those who spurn all requests for provocative photos.



Finally I cross referenced all the asses in my private collection.



I'm pretty sure I know who it is.



I'm very sure I've spent waaaaaaay too much time thinking about it.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/28/2005 12:50 AM

So Professor, do you mind sharing your hypothesis with the rest of us?

newwave 45,912 10
06/28/2005 12:51 AM

What, and ruin it by telling everyone it's mine?

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
06/28/2005 12:57 AM

<quiet>I've got a strategy. Shhh.</quiet>



<loud>So. . . that sure is a fat ass! Whoever it is should lay off the pork!</loud>



. . .



<mumble>This would work better if the ass in question were not perfect.</mumble>

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
06/28/2005 12:57 AM

<Russian accent>Nuclear Weapons</Russian>

MiLLie 116,988 28
06/28/2005 01:22 AM

I don't know whose butt it is, but I think she is probably not really tall, under 5' 5". She has fair skin, she is probably in her twenties.



My guess was Fabs, but she claims it is not hers.



It could well be someone who doesn't post often, or someone fairly new.



This reminds me of all the speculation when the book, Primary Colors came out.



Joe Klein claimed he was not the author, when he was.



So someone may be lying about it not being her ass.

I am Straw 97,995 37
06/28/2005 01:27 AM

Since this thread is about asses, I want to take this opportunity to thank newwave for the donkey call. My first evar!

TTJane-pour me a cab, I can't drink any more 173,958 15
06/28/2005 01:53 AM

I sure do hope that this person didn't slip and tell anyone who she is, like, on IM or an email or something.



But if she did, she might want to think about paying this person to not say anything. You know, just a 20 or something.

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
06/28/2005 02:10 AM

That ass is from Porky's. I call shenanigans!

Everyone's Grudge 2,480 11
06/28/2005 02:44 AM

<action> builds up courage to come out of hiding and post</action> After a very close analysis of the ass in question, I have been able to confirm the following characteristics of the owner:



Gender: female

Height estimate: between 5'2" and 5'7"

Weight estimate: between 90 and 125 lbs.

Skin tone: white, though it is possible for her to be native american

Age estimate: 18-25 years (aprox.)

Time it took me to cum on my keyboard: 91 seconds

Time it took me to run out of semen: 214 seconds

Time it took me to make it my new desktop: 31 seconds

Number of Shakespeares my dog took on the floor this morning (rounded to nearest hundred): 41,900

Amount of dead hookers I have disposed of in last week: 83

Number of times I have eaten a ferret: 1

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
06/28/2005 02:50 AM

Gender: female



OK. So it's not Janet Reno.



I was wa-ay off.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/28/2005 05:41 AM

It's been almost 9 hours, since Erika hasn't denied that it is her ass or proved it isn't by sending me pictures, I win.



By the way, I might have killed 14 billion future children believing this was Erika's ass.







On a side note, what eases the pain of chafing?

DemoMonkey, Mr Contributes-nothing-to- the-world. 166,252 10
06/28/2005 07:23 AM

Vinegar.



Apply liberally.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
06/28/2005 07:28 AM

"On a side note, what eases the pain of chafing?"





Walk around bare assed for a few days.

Let the sunshine in.

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
06/28/2005 08:41 AM

My theory is the same as BIG's. If it's a regular, it's Erika.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/28/2005 08:47 AM

Will it make any difference in your minds whatsoever if I go on the record and say that it is not my ass?





...No?







Carry on then.

Vlad The Impaler (Purveyor of aMurder.com) 19,599 12
06/28/2005 08:50 AM

I am an ass man.



Whistler, are you SURE you and Declan aren't two halves of the same person?



In other news, that ass IS incredible, but it's not perfect. It's close, but without some spreadage, it's hard to know if it's perfect.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
06/28/2005 08:58 AM

Whomever's it is, I toast you.

To have made this much scuttlebut(t) over your ass is fantastic.





















Or it proves how bored we have become.

Either way I toast you.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/28/2005 09:29 AM

There sure is a lot of talking and not a lot of paying going on. I expected a bunch of $5 and $10 posts. I bet Chance tips well at strip clubs. I like that.

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
06/28/2005 09:33 AM

I guess Chance, Whistler, and I are the only ones dying of curiosity. Damnit, people! If we don't get to find out who belongs to that ass, I'm going to be sulky all week. You wouldn't like me when I'm sulky.

Lucky Charms 171,275 14
06/28/2005 09:46 AM

Come on people! This is for a good cause. Quit acting like you don't care...I know you're all dirty whores. You are not fooling anyone by ignoring this thread.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
06/28/2005 09:51 AM

DAMNIT!



Roofie I expect a bid from you as well or I will cancel mine.



$10.oo



well send to Al via paypal pending Roofies bid.

Lucky Charms 171,275 14
06/28/2005 09:55 AM

You can't put demands on your bid.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
06/28/2005 09:56 AM

I just did.

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
06/28/2005 09:57 AM

By the way, I might have killed 14 billion future children believing this was Erika's ass.



Not to mention countless kittens.

Lucky Charms 171,275 14
06/28/2005 10:02 AM

Your demands will not be met.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
06/28/2005 10:08 AM

She is asking/begging everyone to bid. I have no reason to. If I want to see a ass I can go tell my wife to get naked. If I want to see a picture of a ass I can look at my picture. If I want to see a naked shot of a woman I don't know I can type "girlfriends picture on google. It is only fair that she bid as she wishs others to do.



I don't mind helping a gabber get a couple extra drinks or what not,but what is fair is fair.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/28/2005 10:08 AM

ZUG does not negotiate with terrorists.



No, seriously, Reaper, I put the pic in the album so I know who's it is. It doesn't make any sense for me to bid on it. Please be sensible. I won't count your bid toward the total in it's current state.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
06/28/2005 10:25 AM

I send it soon as I shut down the VPN and am done with work.

$10.oo</>

Not a double bid.















whiney ass _____ women!!!!!111

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
06/28/2005 11:13 AM

I just looked at the picture for the first time....man, those are some birthing hips!

















Oh....we AREN'T talking about Fratberry's pic anymore?

gorcjuice 41,132 13
06/28/2005 11:32 AM

While looking for my nominee for best pic, it hit me that no one speculated the ass is Britt's, did they?

AussieSarah 8,390 9
06/28/2005 11:51 AM

My guess is that it's one of the kiwi twins and which ever one it is they'll blame it on the other.

KakeSpecial 55,555 14
06/28/2005 11:54 AM

I will officially say it's not fabs. There's no wood paneling ANYWHERE. And our bathroom tiles are pepto-bismol pink.



And it's not me because my ass is covered with enormous pimples. I stand by my Erika theory.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/28/2005 11:57 AM

because my ass is covered with enormous pimples



So. Unaroused.

PrincessBritt 4,730 9
06/28/2005 12:00 PM

That's nice of you gorkcat, but no, it isn't mine....









...Or is it?

gorcjuice 41,132 13
06/28/2005 12:07 PM

So when fabs spanks his bare ass, her hand gets covered in some kinda white sticky stuff, but not exactly love juice?



</vomit in mouth>

KakeSpecial 55,555 14
06/28/2005 12:10 PM

actually, I'm trying to keep Roofie from getting herself in trouble when she's here.

I showed someone my ass while they were on webcam with Fabs. I think it was trae. I only have one pimple on my ass right now. My back is a little pimply, though.

daisypie 49,378 9
06/28/2005 12:13 PM

Didn't the anonymous tit belong to Lamburger? I think the anonymous

tit matches the anonymous ass, so I'm going to vote for Lamburger.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/28/2005 12:16 PM

We never found out who the anonymous tit was. Not for lack of trying.



And kake making yourself appear disgusting is an effective way to lessen your hotness factor for ME but maybe not for OTHER GABBERS, if you catch my drift. (By which I mean, watch out for Chris Garrett now.)

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
06/28/2005 12:18 PM

Mmmmmmmm Pus.

Lucky Charms 171,275 14
06/28/2005 03:36 PM

Boink.

Lucky Charms 171,275 14
06/28/2005 03:37 PM

We are at 65.00!!

ringworm 68,315 13
06/28/2005 04:45 PM

for that much, you should release the name and phone number.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/28/2005 05:00 PM

ringworm, that's what I thought! Hell I only got $100 for my entire porn collection including cooch shots. This is one high-priced ass.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/28/2005 05:02 PM

Correction, the po' gabba collective got $100.

Lucky Charms 171,275 14
06/28/2005 05:02 PM

Believe me...you were underpaid for those porn shots.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/28/2005 05:11 PM

Nah, there's cheaper porn out there. I just used that as a comparative example.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/28/2005 09:26 PM

Reminder! The secret identify will be revealed in half an hour providing we get enough money - or if we have already gathered enough money. (I'm vague like that!)

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
06/28/2005 09:26 PM

The Kiwi twins' asses are more generous, I would bet. And the Princess is more petite and Lambie less petite than that.



I'm sticking with my size 8 theory. I did a careful study of a size 6 ass today, and the one in the photo is just a smidge larger.

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/28/2005 09:31 PM

yeah, $5. I meant to do that after my other post, but I forgotsed it.

Dopefish 1,393 8
06/28/2005 09:38 PM

forgotsed



HAHA!! You almost said goatse!

KakeSpecial 55,555 14
06/28/2005 09:40 PM

OK, roofie, it's been a half hour* now!









*for those of us who are drinking

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/28/2005 09:45 PM

Nice try drunkard. About 10 more minutes. You can make it!

KakeSpecial 55,555 14
06/28/2005 09:45 PM

ok . .. .NOW!~

Ditdah, sick of counting 123,110 14
06/28/2005 09:59 PM

It's been 10 minutes!!!

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/28/2005 10:00 PM

And the moment you've all been waiting for....





The anonymous ass belongs to .....





AUSSIE SARAH

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
06/28/2005 10:00 PM

I love a woman who's punctual.

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
06/28/2005 10:01 PM

I'm waiting for someone to own up to geting a screenshot from Porky's.



And you suckers coughed up $60+ dollars for it!

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/28/2005 10:01 PM

(Don't forget that all bidders need to paypal Al.)

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/28/2005 10:02 PM

I told you it wasn't mine.

Ditdah, sick of counting 123,110 14
06/28/2005 10:04 PM

I actually could care less about the ass. My question, that I'm DYING to know is:









DID WHISTLER GUESS IT RIGHT?!?!?!?

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/28/2005 10:06 PM

The Shrek girl? Dude, I want my ten dollars back.



What?

AussieSarah 8,390 9
06/28/2005 10:06 PM

Bob Johnson - far from perfect but thankyou.



Millie - "in her 20's" , I wish.



Everyone's Grudge - EWWWW



Whistler - you didn't study that size 6 very well.

newwave 45,912 10
06/28/2005 10:09 PM

I'd do ya.

Polo Chukker 4,634 12
06/28/2005 10:10 PM

This whole thing seemed very anti-climactic..

for me at least.

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
06/28/2005 10:12 PM

Newwave, you'd have to defeat the guardian ogre first. Better get your Axe of Some Enchated Something or Other. It's got +3 against ogres.

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/28/2005 10:14 PM

but it's -7 against moving out of mom's basement.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/28/2005 10:20 PM

Ditdah, no Whistler didn't guess right, because he guessed it was mine.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
06/28/2005 10:21 PM

Newwave, you'd have to defeat the guardian ogre first.



Spicey - the soon to be ex ogre will be kissing it on his way out the door very shortly.

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/28/2005 10:51 PM

stupid ogres have all the fun..

MiLLie 116,988 28
06/29/2005 12:02 AM

I have no trouble believing the ass belongs to Sarah. She is petite and I could tell the woman in the picture was short.



And Sarah, maybe you are not in your 20s, but you have a very youthful butt!

AussieSarah 8,390 9
06/29/2005 12:06 AM

And Sarah, maybe you are not in your 20s, but you have a very youthful butt!



I wish I could say the same about the rest of me!

Fratberry 282,940 53
06/29/2005 12:11 AM

Hey Sarah, nice pooper.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
06/29/2005 12:15 AM

Thanks Frat

















where do I send the cash?

daisypie 49,378 9
06/29/2005 12:24 AM

Will Sarah lay claim to the anonymous tit as well?

TTJane-pour me a cab, I can't drink any more 173,958 15
06/29/2005 12:39 AM

Damn it. I'm not going to get my twenty for keeping my mouth shut, am I?



I wonder what people would pay me to not post their naked picture from the auction I did for HH and Trae.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
06/29/2005 12:43 AM

Damn it. I'm not going to get my twenty for keeping my mouth shut, am I?



No. But we will have a pleasant evening getting smashed when I get there , my shout!

Lucky Charms 171,275 14
06/29/2005 09:25 AM

Money sent. Nice money shaker!

Father Hugh G. Rection 200 7
06/29/2005 10:46 AM

123856hf fheuguwt77989 ngfsuidui3463 hjsdhj98346

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
06/29/2005 10:52 AM

Dude, I swear to God I'll report you if you don't smarten up.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/29/2005 11:21 AM

I told you guys it was Erika's ass.



<action>doesn't care what Roofie said</action>

Father Hugh G. Rection 200 7
06/29/2005 12:37 PM

124b sd nnde8986 nbnh[7 nbdndn9

Father Hugh G. Rection 200 7
06/29/2005 12:43 PM

I'm only posting this so I can see my name and click it, so shut-up and keep your stupid comments to yourselves........

gorcjuice 41,132 13
06/29/2005 12:45 PM

so shut-up and keep your stupid comments to yourselves........



That was an invitation if I ever saw one...you case of queefjuice drink boxes.

And the winner is Chickens 286,527 61
06/29/2005 01:08 PM

Well that lieing bitch. She swore to me that it wasn't hers.