Firefly
A comedy conversation
by Mwahiy  5,425  9
07/01/2005 03:56 AM 281 views
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I have recently acquired 3 new household pets...They are fireflies (big surprise)
I have offically named them Larry, Curly, and Moe, I'm pretty sure there's a 4th around here somewhere, and when he shows up I'm gonna name him Shem
They seem to only hang out in my room because that's where the pulsing green lights of my cable modem is located and I guess this turns them on.
As long as I have my lamp on they're rather calm they behave themselves, but as soon as the lights go out it's like a frosting firefly orgy on my modem. The whole time they're flying around it flashing their little ass lights and those things are amazingly bright.
So...most of you wonderful people are probably asleep by now, but last night they were having their orgy as usual and it was keeping my awake so I looked over at them and told them "Hey, keep it down over there I'm trying to sleep."
I must've scared them or something because they suddenly stopped fornicating. So, I thanked them for their cooperation and went to sleep...
P.S. Moe's currently raping my monitor so when I'm done posting this I'm gonna start scrolling really fast and see if I can get him to get dizzy and fall off the screen.
I'm only posting this at this time so it can fall off the board before anyone really sees it...because this story is pretty damn lame
Fin.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
15 votes
5.0
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
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Mwahiy 5,425  9
07/01/2005 03:58 AM
Hah, Moe's a Poe
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
07/01/2005 04:00 AM
Shemp !
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Mwahiy 5,425 9
07/01/2005 04:02 AM
He didn't show up yet so its all good
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
07/01/2005 04:09 AM
I'm in California and I have never even seen a firefly before.
Must be a trip though. I have lizards that can take a Tarantula bite and shrug it off and eat the Frosters, but if they eat a firefly, they will die.
Toxic little bastards I guess......Phosphorus isn't it ?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Mwahiy 5,425 9
07/01/2005 04:13 AM
Bah*, looks like a sunflower seed on its back
*link courtesy of my handy dandy google'n skillz
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Side-splitting
11 votes
5.0
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Spicy-Sweet Lamb Tagine with Saffron Couscous 33,017 9
07/01/2005 04:18 AM
Larry, Curly and Moe are FORNICATING?
These gay fireflies need to find Jesus. He is the way the truth and the ass light.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Mwahiy 5,425 9
07/01/2005 04:19 AM
Bah, I didn't exactly flip 'em over and check their junk...it just seemed appropriate at the time...
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
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Mwahiy 5,425 9
07/01/2005 04:29 AM
Curly just croaked due to lack of proper nutrition...
Let us now have a moment of silence for the poor soul who was a big enough dumbass to wander into my virtual hellhole a true friend to us all...
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.5
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Spicy-Sweet Lamb Tagine with Saffron Couscous 33,017 9
07/01/2005 04:32 AM
Usually at dusk, male and female fireflies emerge from the grass. Males fly about 1-1/2 feet above the ground, emitting a single short flash at regular intervals. The flashes are usually male fireflies seeking mates. Males outnumber the females fifty to one. Females climb a blade of grass, flashing when males flash within 10 to 12 feet of the females. Exchanges of signals are repeated to 5 to 10 times until mating occurs. Sometimes females will devour males.
Okay, if I get reincarnated, I definately wanna come back as a firefly. I'm outnumbered 50 to 1 by potential lovers and I get to eat them when I'm done.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Mwahiy 5,425 9
07/01/2005 04:34 AM
I think Praying Mantis do the same thing...
boy meets girl...boy rides girl...girl decapitates boy...girl finds more wang...rinse and repeat
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Mwahiy 5,425 9
07/01/2005 04:39 AM
Update:
Firefly count:5-6
Curly has been reincarnated and brought 2 of his friends along to play
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Spicy-Sweet Lamb Tagine with Saffron Couscous 33,017 9
07/01/2005 04:43 AM
There's too many of them to keep the three stooges theme...may I suggest renaming them to members of the village people?
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
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Mwahiy 5,425 9
07/01/2005 04:45 AM
Indian, Construction Worker, Cop, Gay Biker, Milkman??
I think that's all of them...
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
07/01/2005 04:47 AM
When looking for a mate, do the female fireflys flash a red light ?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Mwahiy 5,425 9
07/01/2005 04:47 AM
Damn, I was totally off
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Mwahiy 5,425 9
07/01/2005 04:51 AM
Apprently the sailor's a G.I. Military man
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Mwahiy 5,425 9
07/01/2005 04:52 AM
Well, there wasn't a whole lot for you to fagjack...
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Mwahiy 5,425 9
07/01/2005 04:53 AM
But feel free to give me clickies for giving you the opportunity to have fagjacked it
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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newwave 45,912 10
07/01/2005 04:54 AM
Number of people who give a Shakespeare about the bugs in your house: 0
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.5
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/01/2005 04:55 AM
They squeeze fire flies for their glowing properties and use them when making Hi-Lighters.
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0 votes
0.0
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Mwahiy 5,425 9
07/05/2005 01:09 AM
Woah, I got my first almost full pee tube!!!woo!!!eleventyone!!!
P.S. All the villagepeople are dead or ran away.
Yea, I'm just bumping this to help get rid of the Zimbabwe threads...
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0 votes
0.0
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Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
07/05/2005 04:56 AM
If you kill them by smearing their bodies across a surface, they leave a really cool glowing smudge.
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0 votes
0.0
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supergrover 4,517 9
07/05/2005 05:01 AM
I've also heard that if you take the blood of the innocent and smear it across your chest, it calls the lord and savior Satan.
I have sooo got to try that.
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