Backdoor Box 14,650 10
07/01/2005 10:49 AM

change your icon. thanks.

gorcjuice 41,132 13
07/01/2005 10:52 AM

Ends. In. Pedophilia.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
07/01/2005 10:53 AM

No, gorck that's just you.

And the winner is Chickens 286,527 61
07/01/2005 10:56 AM

Funny I was just thinking about my summer as a councilor just this morning. Best summer of my life. And I didn't get sued for making fun of the little gay jew boys.

gorcjuice 41,132 13
07/01/2005 11:03 AM

Well, brody, I never really got anything out of my Yu-Gi-Oh cards until I started trading them with 10-12 year old boys for sexual favors.



"Sure, kid- I'll give you my Blue-Eyes White Dragon and you give me a kiss on the One-Eyed White Dragon."

Chi Chi Felipe: Refreshing 161,353 14
07/01/2005 11:05 AM

I find the cure for any frivolous lawsuit is a good old fashioned double-murder.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
07/01/2005 11:06 AM

Oh gorck, you're such a geek!



How else would you know that the Blue Eyed card is one of the best cards to get?



That's so cute.

KakeSpecial 55,555 14
07/01/2005 11:07 AM

You should crucify the little abominations.

And the winner is Chickens 286,527 61
07/01/2005 11:18 AM

As a project this afternoon, build an outdoor oven of mud bricks with the help of the kids from your cabin. Stop often to measure these two kids, then dive back into your work.

gorcjuice 41,132 13
07/01/2005 11:28 AM

Oh gorck, you're such a geek!



How else would you know that the Blue Eyed card is one of the best cards to get?



And you know this how, hmmmm?

dropkick brody 43,090 12
07/01/2005 11:30 AM

Fair point, well made.



However, I have a 12 year old geeky brother. And that's how I know.

gorcjuice 41,132 13
07/01/2005 11:34 AM

I have a younger brother and daughter who collect the cards. I'm more of a Magic: the Gathering kinda guy.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
07/01/2005 11:35 AM

I have no idea what that is.



I'm only a geek by association.

gorcjuice 41,132 13
07/01/2005 11:39 AM

That's ok- I'm just dropping geek references like turds all over GAB today.



I'm a geek by genetics.

Piquantrax 8,691 9
07/01/2005 11:40 AM

Normally I'd bring around back and spank em, but the NY laws says no to that. Soon enough they'll be resting peacefully at the bottom of the lake the camp is on.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
07/01/2005 11:42 AM

Me and my friend were discussing what kind of geeks we are.



I ventured that I was probably a book/science geek.

DemoMonkey, Mr Contributes-nothing-to- the-world. 166,252 10
07/01/2005 11:44 AM

I'm more of a Magic: the Gathering kinda guy.



Tap Mountain, tap Mox Ruby.



LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!

dropkick brody 43,090 12
07/01/2005 11:45 AM

Piq, its very hard to claw your thread back to it's original topic once we have a hold of it.



We're master jackers.

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
07/01/2005 11:48 AM

I'm pretty sure they were bluffing. Just to be safe though, you could point out that the lawsuit could get out into the media, so at very least everyone who reads the local paper will hear about these two kids grabbing eachother's asses.

gorcjuice 41,132 13
07/01/2005 12:01 PM

LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!



Good thing this is the subgame of a subgame of a subgame thanks to Shahrazad.

Declan ('Aaron Altman') McManus. 131,877 36
07/01/2005 12:09 PM

Jacking it back to the original topic (I'm just wild like that today.)





If you hate kids, than WTF are you doing at camp?

Duuuuh - Freelance Gynecologist 24,152 8
07/01/2005 12:19 PM

I find the cure for any frivolous lawsuit is a good old fashioned double-murder.



I'd recommend offing the defense attourney before the prosecutor, that way you don't have to worry about paying for the retainer.

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
07/01/2005 12:33 PM

You think YOU got it bad?





I still check the mail everyday for a summons from California.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
07/01/2005 12:47 PM

I was a camp counselor for a few summers, and I've already posted one of my favorite stories, but I have a few others to share.



We took the same group of ten year old girls from the first story to the beach for the day. Surprisingly everything went quite smoothly, except one little girl got her finger tip bit off by a clam, but no one drowned or got kidnapped so I considered it a victory.



On the busride home, I fell asleep in a seat at the back of the bus. I'm not sure how long I was out, but I awoke to a truly horrible smell. There really is only one way to describe it: It smelled like someone had Shakespeare on the bus. So I looked around, and there were a lot of confused faces, scrunched up in disgust. All of the other counselors looked clueless as to what the smell was, so I decided to take it upon myself to investigate.



I had barely gotten out of my seat when one of my girls let out a scream that almost caused the bus driver to steer us off the rode. She jumped up from her seat, and started trying to run down the aisle, but since the bus was moving she was just slamming into seats and finally fell down. That's when I saw it. There was liquidy Shakespeare all over her leg and on her shoes.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
07/01/2005 12:48 PM

The bus erupted in an explosion of chaos as everyone realized what she had all over her. She started crying and screaming, "I didn't do it! Who Shakespeare on me?"



Fourty sets of eyes immediately went to the little girl she had been sitting with on the bus. Her name was Danielle, and she had a look of fear and humiliation in her eyes that no 10 year old should ever have. "I...I don't know...accident," she stammered incoherently.



She had Shakespeare herself while sitting in her seat on the bus. A ten year old, perfectly capable child, had Shakespeare in her seat, not told anyone, and continued to sit in her own mess for God know's how long. All I know is it must have been a while, because her runny, smelly mess had trickled all the way down to the back of the bus, and several little girls were now screaming because it has gotten on their shoes as well.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
07/01/2005 12:49 PM

Once the mystery smell had been identified, the situation only escalated. Twently little girls began throwing up in unison. Some of them had been naseous from the smell and began throwing up. Some of them threw up upon discovering they had gotten some of the crap on them. And some of the just threw up because the others were all throwing up. I was now trapped on a bus, at least an hour away from home, that had become a veritable container of Shakespeare and vomit.



The busdriver pulled over, and we got all the kids off of the bus. We called the camp to tell them what had happened, and they ended up sending another bus to avoid the lawsuits that would arise if parents found out we made their children ride home in the Shakespeare-N-Puke wagon. The exhausted counselors and our crying, filthy campers stood on the side of the rode for an hour waiting for a new bus to come, while I walked Danielle to a nearby rest stop to clean her up and get her fresh clothes.



It was a truly gross and horrible day, but after all was said and done the other counselors and I had a good laugh. At the expense of a completely humiliated and smelly little girl.

DemoMonkey, Mr Contributes-nothing-to- the-world. 166,252 10
07/01/2005 12:54 PM

And that humiliated and smelly little girl would one day grow up to be...



Eleanor Roosevelt.

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
07/01/2005 12:55 PM

fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap

Duuuuh - Freelance Gynecologist 24,152 8
07/01/2005 12:57 PM

Coming soon to a theater near you:





She had no idea who her mother was or what she did, but the urge for something more than a shart was etched into her DNA. the moment she crapped on a bus she knew.



Spawn of Tubgirl

KakeSpecial 55,555 14
07/01/2005 01:25 PM

I'll bet $40,000 Gab Dollars that that girl's in therapy right now.

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
07/01/2005 01:29 PM

Thank you erika.



I must now clean my monitor as I just spewed Coca-Cola all over it.

Oliver Chest; Half man, half gorilla 203,475 12
07/01/2005 01:36 PM

Holy crap, Erika. Why did it take you so long to post that story? You know by now that poop stories are the bread and butter of GAB.

Oliver Chest; Half man, half gorilla 203,475 12
07/01/2005 01:37 PM

Mmmmm...poop and bread and butter...mmmmm

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/01/2005 01:38 PM

You don't swallow?



<action>idea of FDIC as a perfect woman is shattered</action>

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
07/01/2005 02:05 PM

Oliver, I have to ration out my awesome stories, so that I can liven up slow days on GAB. You would not believe the number of stories I have like that from working at that camp alone. It was the best and worst job ever.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
07/01/2005 03:10 PM

Psh, you're telling me.

Zackman 3,927 0
07/01/2005 03:16 PM

Let's get back on track here.



If you hate kids, than WTF are you doing at camp?





Frost-ing them?

Phuc 237,919 21
07/01/2005 03:17 PM

I just dug into a steaming plate of Thai food when I started reading Erika's story.



























...needs more nam plar.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/01/2005 03:18 PM

He's a counselor at a Jew Camp, there is only one thing he can be doing...































teaching accounting.

Zackman 3,927 0
07/01/2005 03:20 PM

Jew boy: Gimme five!



Jew boy: (LI accent) I'll give ya foah and you got a deal!

Chi Chi Felipe: Refreshing 161,353 14
07/01/2005 03:20 PM

He hates the Jews. He should have titled this thread "Kamp Kounselor Khronicles."

Oliver Chest; Half man, half gorilla 203,475 12
07/01/2005 03:21 PM

You're a counselor at a Jew camp?



What are the showers like?

extremely long word 200 7
07/01/2005 04:11 PM

listen, if there's a palestinian kid at the camp, here's what you do.............

Piquantrax 8,691 9
07/10/2005 12:38 AM

Hey, I'm a jew myself. And yes accounting is going well, but most are studying law. The pre-med kids are easiest to deal with though.



Anyway, yea one of my kids, threw a Shakespeare fit today and it was fun to watch the fireworks explode while still on the barge. He nearly shat himself. I have a good story like Erika's except it involves less Shakespeare and more bacon.

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
07/10/2005 07:24 AM

My guess is that if you're working as a summer camp counselor, you don't have much in the way of assets worth suing for. Relax and enjoy the rest of the summer.



And next year, work at retard camp instead of Jew camp.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
07/10/2005 12:00 PM

This is why church camp is always the best to go with.





They sew not sue.

gwallaia 3,510 12
07/10/2005 12:03 PM

Erika's story just proves again.

POOP is FUNNY.

I am Straw 97,995 37
07/11/2005 01:07 AM

Well, vacation bible school is starting this week. I'm going to be the snack coordinator. The goal is to get them sugared up enough to go home wired, but not so sugared that they puke before they get out the door.

Piquantrax - Sleeping on the beach 8,691 9
05/10/2006 09:15 AM

Bump for Millie.