TheFoye 55,700 16
07/02/2005 06:40 AM

Remember that I am a responsible drunk<



Like anyone will believe that!

TheFoye 55,700 16
07/02/2005 06:46 AM

And the mahas had started rolling in! Pretty quick for a Friday night!

Boston-Bound and Gagged Lila 78,555 13
07/02/2005 08:42 AM

About 12 years ago I was an almost constant drunk driver. I would get smashed every weekend at my favorite club then stupidly make the almost 20 minute cross town drive home. Sometimes I would wake up the next morning and run in a panic to the window to see if my car was there, having no idea if I drove it home or not.

One time I went out with a friend and woke up completely clothed but upside down in some stranger's bed - a friend of hers who had taken the keys from her the night before and droven us to her place to craShakespeare's a miracle, the way I acted, nothing ever happened to me.



I almost got a DUI twice - once when I was 18 and lied saying I had just come from a Halloween party (truth) and "maybe my friends slipped some vodka into my drink" (lie). For some reason he bought it and let me off without a breath test.



The second time I was drowning my sorrows after being dumped and hit a pole driving home while trying to use my cell to call someone for help since I knew I was too drunk to drive. The cops smelled the alcohol on me but took pity and called my parents to come get me, which may has been at least AS bad as jail.



Just a couple stories for those of you who still drunk drive.

And I'm not maha'ing anyone, just sharing my experiences. PLEASE don't make the same mistakes I did. You could kill someone else if not yourself.

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/02/2005 09:15 AM

Sounds to me like Darwin is asleep at the wheel.

Boston-Bound and Gagged Lila 78,555 13
07/02/2005 09:22 AM

N-n-no, my name is Lila, not Darw....oh. Nevermind.

TheFoye 55,700 16
07/02/2005 09:11 PM

Lila, I understand your concern but I had had only four drinks in as many hours before I drove my buddy and I to his house where I called a cab! The reason I got lost is because all these side streets go around in circles!

SHP, with only a little P 181,790 70
07/02/2005 09:15 PM

A drunk driver killed my sister.



Let that be a lesson to all of you.

bignorm 874 9
07/02/2005 09:19 PM

too bad you weren't conjoined twins

Red White and Blue Chickens 286,527 61
07/02/2005 09:20 PM

A drunk driver killed my mom.



Course it was her.

Senior Destructor: Space Pope Xavier XVI 60,724 12
07/02/2005 09:21 PM

Norm, I just gave you my first intentional maha.



You, sir, are a prick.

bignorm 874 9
07/02/2005 09:23 PM

if it helps, i am ashamed. oh waita second, blow me

Senior Destructor: Space Pope Xavier XVI 60,724 12
07/02/2005 09:25 PM

Go to hell.

I'm not even going to waste energy on you.

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
07/02/2005 09:25 PM

I never drink and drive.



I might hit a bump and spill my beer.

daisypie 49,378 9
07/02/2005 09:29 PM

Oh yeah, well my drunk sister killed your driver!















...did that make any sense?

bignorm 874 9
07/02/2005 09:30 PM

Go to hell.

I'm not even going to waste energy on you.



Damn, I've been served.

SHP, with only a little P 181,790 70
07/02/2005 09:34 PM

Hey norm, my other sister killed herself. Normally, I'm not a big advocate of it, but for you, I'd make the exception.

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
07/02/2005 09:36 PM

Thankfully, I spent the worst years of my drunkenness in a city with excellent public transportation.



The worst that ever happened to me on the subway was the time I fell asleep, missed my stop and woke up in the aptly named Brownsville section of Brooklyn.







Oh, and the time I got raped and stabbed.

Red White and Blue Chickens 286,527 61
07/02/2005 10:02 PM

holidays are made for public transportation. Good call.





Unfortunately, I live in the sticks.

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
07/02/2005 10:16 PM

I can remember a time on GAB when norm's comment would have been considered funny, and shrugged off.



Times change.

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/03/2005 12:22 AM

You have a bad memory. I think most of us just had no idea what a "waita" is, other than that guy who takes your order at a Jersey restaurant.



Misspellings or missing words can really screw up the timing on a joke. I myself have had many awesome posts crippled by technical errors in my haste to beat out the other gabbers.

daisypie 49,378 9
07/03/2005 12:25 AM

...in my haste to beat out the other gabbers.



You misspelled 'off', Froggie.

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/03/2005 12:26 AM

oh waita minute.. you mean the conjoined twins post? I was confused, because of all the clickies it has. please disregard.

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/03/2005 12:27 AM

I SAID DISREGARD!

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
07/03/2005 12:35 AM

Disregarded...



And clicked.

bignorm 874 9
07/03/2005 12:56 AM

Misspellings or missing words can really screw up the timing on a joke.



I'm sorry, I must have overlooked that page in the "Official Book of GAB Rules." It won't happen again.



Go grade a Frost-ing english paper or something.

Senior Destructor: Space Pope Xavier XVI 60,724 12
07/03/2005 01:01 AM

See? This guy's just a prick!

bignorm 874 9
07/03/2005 01:04 AM

Go to hell.

I'm not even going to waste energy on you.

Senior Destructor: Space Pope Xavier XVI 60,724 12
07/03/2005 01:07 AM

Yeah...



I had a Red Bull a while ago.

874 9
07/03/2005 01:12 AM

Thanks, I've been looking for a slogan for when I run for president.

daisypie 49,378 9
07/03/2005 01:23 AM

Misspellings or missing words can really screw up the timing on a joke.



"I don't give a damn for a man that can spell a word only one way."



-Twain

OneEyedTrouserTrout 6,046 8
07/03/2005 01:26 AM

Every time I drink and start to feel guilty about driving I do the reasonable thing and have a few more until it goes away.

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
07/03/2005 02:05 AM

See? This guy's just a prick!



You say that like it's a bad thing.

Senior Destructor: Space Pope Xavier XVI 60,724 12
07/03/2005 02:07 AM

Why all the normlove Donk?



Miss Janey?

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
07/03/2005 02:13 AM

Why all the hate? Did your hand cramp up?

Senior Destructor: Space Pope Xavier XVI 60,724 12
07/03/2005 02:29 AM

I don't hate. I just saw no humor in that guy's post. I gave him a maha. I've gotten 8 for it. I don't hate him. But he is kind of a prick. So am I. He even attacked frogpop, who was even defending him. He's a rare poster, and there's rarely a positive thing out of him. We make similar jokes, but at other times, we profess our great love for that same person. Normy just seems to like mean-spirted humor.



Plus, drunk driving does kill. It's a touchy subject for me.









And no, my hand didn't cramp up.



My penis just eventually fell off.

TheFoye 55,700 16
07/03/2005 02:34 AM

It's ok, I gave permission for certain people to maha me I don't mind! This is my longest running least funny thread ever and I am proud of it!

Senior Destructor: Space Pope Xavier XVI 60,724 12
07/03/2005 02:35 AM

I didn't maha you, Foye.



I like the Foye.



And the Foye called a cab...eventually.

TheFoye 55,700 16
07/03/2005 02:39 AM

Well you don't expect me to drive on post where there is a permenant checkpoint do you!