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I had to call a company today at work, and they had one of those fancy automated receptionist systems. The conversation went something like this (I changed the names to protect the innocent):
Automated receptionist: Hi, welcome to ACME services. Please say the complete name of the person you want to reach.
Me: Giuseppe Verdi.
AR: Did you say 'Ludwig van Beethoven' ?
Me: No. (rolling eyes)
AR: Was it 'Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart' ?
Me: No. (talking to myself) Shakespeare.
AR: Was that a 'yes' ?
Me: (*sigh*)
AR: Thank you. I will now transfer you to 'Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart'.
Me: *hang up*
The best part of it was that the automated system spoke really slowly, as if I was the one with a hearing problem.
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Side-splitting
18 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1235134
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1235147
DemoMonkey, Mr Contributes-nothing-to- the-world. 165,706  8
07/06/2005 02:22 AM
They're decomposing, composers
There's less of them every year
You can still talk to, Beethoven
But there's not much of him left to hear...
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1235149
SuhYpa: the erotic thriller 5,539 7
07/06/2005 02:24 AM
<action> gives mailman his 4,000th clickie.</action>
Damn ACME always gets my orders for TNT mixed up...
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1235216
Roofie Raccoon 56,383 7
07/06/2005 04:28 AM
My voicemail doesn't bother telling people their call is important. And I don't tell them to "have a nice day" at the end either. I wonder if I should get rid of the "thanks for calling" while I'm at it.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1235224
The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 129,339 14
07/06/2005 04:39 AM
Now that I gave you my number, I'm thinking of changing my voicemail message to a single word: "DONKEY!"
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1235230
Roofie Raccoon 56,383 7
07/06/2005 04:48 AM
So that I can self-Donkey? Dude, that's just wrong.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1235234
Chit Eating Grin 163,447 10
07/06/2005 04:52 AM
So did you have better success when you called again Mailman ?
You can't just leave us hangin !
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Hilarious
15 votes
4.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1235266
The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 129,339 14
07/06/2005 06:00 AM
The second time I called, I did not want to deal with the automated thing again, so I pressed zero to talk to a human person. But then I was told that Giuseppe Verdi had been deceased for over 100 years and never actually worked for the company.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1235280
Fartpuppy is not worthwhile 5,034 6
07/06/2005 06:25 AM
I hate it when I receive phone calls and I answer it with the standard greeting and It's a Frost-ing answering machine designed to make the calls for people.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1235301
Sylvester 4,447 6
07/06/2005 07:03 AM
Damn ACME always gets my orders for TNT mixed up...
If you want to speak to Mr. R. Runner, our President and CEO, press 1...
If you're Wile E. Coyote complaining about your order, tough Shakespeare.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1235306
Walk the Freedom Trae - fi dolla 156,239 10
07/06/2005 07:11 AM
I am forgoing comedy to give you this helpful hint for the next time you have to make such a phone call.
>*<
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1235509
Trixxiewan Kenobie 64,451 13
07/06/2005 07:12 PM
I wondered how the Frost you could do that. I assumed it was some part of your magic slut powers
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129,339 
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