Mwahiy, The Numa Numa Choreographer Extrodinaire 5,425 9
07/26/2005 03:04 PM

20 minutes ago, in my Shakespeareter.



Wait...I DID do that, I WIN!!!

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
07/26/2005 03:05 PM

May 24, 2003 at 2:00 p.m.

gorctemp 41,132 13
07/26/2005 03:06 PM

<action>takes the low road.</action>

The men's room at 1945 Auschwitz.

gorctemp 41,132 13
07/26/2005 03:09 PM

Now, in my new temp job, I am a purchasing assistant routing emails to the appropriate person. Immediately after posting my inflammatory and insensitive remark, an email from a Jewish Federation of some state popped up in my inbox.



Somebody pray for me.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/26/2005 03:09 PM

I'd totally do it in 1865 in the Appomattox Courthouse. YEE HAW!



I can see the headlines...Lee Surrenders, newwave releases the Slaves.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
07/26/2005 03:10 PM

I'd like to smear poop on every bomb that dropped over Al Queda back in '02.



SPECIAL DELIVERY mother-FrostERS!

Mwahiy, The Numa Numa Choreographer Extrodinaire 5,425 9
07/26/2005 03:12 PM

I can see BIG getting a full pee tube for that...Congrats

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
07/26/2005 03:12 PM

Oh, also in my ex girlfriend's mouth as she was having sex with the guy she cheated on me with back in '03

PrincessBritt 4,730 9
07/26/2005 03:13 PM

I'd go back a couple of years and do it on my ex-boyfriend's bed, only seconds before he lies down on it to mess around with my best friend.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
07/26/2005 03:14 PM

PrincessBrit- wow. Jinx.



you wanna hook up later?

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
07/26/2005 03:15 PM

Yeah, you two can take turns Shakespeare-ing into each others' mouths.

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
07/26/2005 03:15 PM

Big must receive a full pee tube for the above comment.



Get to clickin' ya bitches!



</Jane>

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
07/26/2005 03:17 PM

erika... Hey, when in Berlin...

Fratberry 282,940 53
07/26/2005 03:20 PM

07/26/05, 12:15PM, Bankey's Office.

Fratberry 282,940 53
07/26/2005 03:22 PM

Ok, technically it wasn't "historical" but it was of mammoth proportions.

PrincessBritt 4,730 9
07/26/2005 03:29 PM

Dearest Deepan,



PrincessBritt thanks you for your interest and your request to "hook up later." However, she is happy regrets that her afternoon is entirely booked with her other clients.



Please do not feel free to try and reschedule at a later date.



Thank you for your business,



PrincessBritt and Associates

Vibrantly Shaded Article of Headwear 91,274 10
07/26/2005 03:29 PM

4 days ago.



I had to Shakespeare, But decided it was for my better judgement to hold on to it and use it later.

Lo and behlod, Later on it was one of those compressed, "held onto" Shakespeares that hurt like a sunuvabitch when you try to squeeze it out.



If I could, I would have Shakespeare when I first felt the rumble, While I was at my friends house.





Then I would've gotten into his shower to clean my ass.

jepreport - premature articulator 58,758 13
07/26/2005 03:37 PM

<action>Walks into thread</action>



Hey, BIG! Can I talk to you over here for a minute?

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
07/26/2005 03:41 PM

I would like to Shakespeare on November 22, 1963, in Dealey Plaza in Dallas.



Seems fitting, since I always wipe....



back and to the left...

back and to the left...

back and to the left...

Clint McSahara HotPants 19,555 11
07/26/2005 08:24 PM

You could be the second sheeter.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
07/26/2005 09:49 PM

TO: PrincessBritt and Associates

RE: Hooking up

CC: Deutsch Sheisse Love Committee



PrincessBritt,



Deepan would like to say he appreciates your concern in the matter, and would like to offer you a selection of other men who you could possibly hook up with later, as a sign of good faith.



In a quick round up, we currently have Tom Jones, the disembodied head of River Phoenix, and the old guy from the Six Flags commercials on hold.



We eagerly await your choice, and hope you are satisfied with the magazine subscription(s) you have been obligatorily signed up for.



Thank you for flying the friendly skies!



Deepan the Angry Giant Mile-High Club, Inc.



--VI*EGRA FOR SALE CHEEP CLICK HEAR --

newwave 45,912 10
07/27/2005 12:04 AM

<action>clicks for cheep vi*egra, pops a couple pills, heads to church</action>

supergrover 4,517 9
07/27/2005 12:18 AM

<action>Puts on catholic school girl outfit, also goes to church </action>

Grumbles - Master of Shadows 34 8
07/27/2005 04:29 AM

Oh man, I can still feel the slimy from this one. Last summer I was in England visiting some relatives. I had to Shakespeare really bad before I got on the plane, but didn't because I was gonna be late for the plane. And because I'm not a fan of Shakespeare-ing in planes, I held it through that to. It took a couple more hours to get to my destination, and when I did, it turned out my relatives plumbing was shot. Showing remarkable sphincter control, I continued to hold it in until the next day, when we went on a walk to see some ruin or other in a field. During the walk, I felt a little gurgle in my tummy. I told the others to keep going, I just had to take a piss. I stepped into the bushes, whipped out my Coleridge, and tried to pee.



I soon realized that it's quite hard to pee when you have to crap horribly bad. Or maybe it's all to easy to crap when you pee while having to Shakespeare. Either way, my jeans soon filled with brown, watery waste. I felt a little dribble by my foot, and it had even leaked out onto my shoes.



Needless to say, the return car trip back to the house was not the best I've ever had. And probably not the best my fellow passengers had had either. And I didn't even get to see the ruins!

Mwa na na na na, na na na na, na na na na na 5,425 9
07/27/2005 04:31 AM

And I didn't even get to see the ruins!





But ya sure did see the runs!

TTJane-I'm just a boring example of everybody else 173,958 15
07/27/2005 04:36 AM

Two things-



First

I'd totally do it in 1865 in the Appomattox Courthouse. YEE HAW!



I can see the headlines...Lee Surrenders, newwave releases the Slaves.



BIG, that is truly one of the funniest things I have ever read on GAB.





Second-

I would like to Shakespeare on November 22, 1963, in Dealey Plaza in Dallas.



They've turned the book depository into a museum, so technically I could do this if I chose to.

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/27/2005 04:57 AM

huh-huh.. depository..

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/27/2005 05:01 AM

If you do go up there, Jane, you should send Donk to go take a poo on the grassy knoll at the same time.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/27/2005 05:05 AM

Every once in awhile I like to prove I can be funny without being mean. But don't get used to it.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
07/27/2005 07:52 AM

The complete OJ trial.

ChainsawGutsfuck 62 8
07/27/2005 10:48 AM

on your keyboard, right before you made this thread.

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
07/27/2005 11:28 AM

I know this isn't what the thread is supposed to be about, but here's a nice historical Shakespeare story.



One of the museums I consult for is a recreated 19th century village. A couple of years ago, we were lucky enough to receive a donation of an old two-seat outhouse in really nice condition. It hadn't been used in years. We only had to pick it up and move it to our place, which we did, and we put it behind the original log cabin the village has been built up around.



We built a little brick foundation for it, but we did not dig any holes. It's supposed to be for display only.



We have kids visiting with class trips nearly every day in September, October, April, May and June.



At least twice a week for the first couple of months we had the thing our maintainence man had to scoop a turd off the ground under one of the seats. Finally, he boarded up the holes.

supergrover 4,517 9
07/27/2005 04:19 PM

One time when I was little me and all my little guy friends were playing hide and seek in the woods behind our houses. I was hiding in this deep hole that god knows why they had dug it. But when I had to make fudge, I was suddenly grateful I was so well hidden.



Later someone found my hidden treasure and ran back to the rest of us, demanding to know who had poo pooed in his hole. Everyone denied it vehemenatly. I just stared at the sky, "Who would do such a thing!"

supergrover 4,517 9
07/27/2005 04:21 PM

Oh yeah, so I would go back there and Shakespeare in the hole twice. And high five my nastly little self.