Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
07/26/2005 04:51 PM

-One final blowjob.



<action>weeps</action>

Oliverius Chesticus XIV 203,475 12
07/26/2005 04:51 PM

Penicillan.

Mwahiy, The Numa Numa Choreographer Extrodinaire 5,425 9
07/26/2005 04:53 PM

Honey, I have skeletons of dead babies in the closet.

Oliverius Chesticus XIV 203,475 12
07/26/2005 04:53 PM

Here, honey. You're gonna need this.

Vibrantly Shaded Article of Headwear 91,274 10
07/26/2005 04:54 PM

Dutch oven.

Vibrantly Shaded Article of Headwear 91,274 10
07/26/2005 04:54 PM

AGAIN!

gorctemp 41,132 13
07/26/2005 04:54 PM

I'm gorckat.

JillyWilly 332 7
07/26/2005 04:59 PM

Darling - I've had an accident (damn monkey bars) and my vagina had to be removed last night. You love me for my personality,though, right?

Oliverius Chesticus XIV 203,475 12
07/26/2005 05:03 PM

"Honey, you know how I would only let you do me in the ass, so that way I could be a virgin on our wedding night?



Well.....



*zip...FLOP*



Suck it."

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
07/26/2005 05:04 PM

Um, honey...I may have been stretching the truth a bit when I said that I just had a really, really large clitoris...

Janice 181,790 70
07/26/2005 05:04 PM

"I'm Chris Garrett"

Millie 116,988 28
07/26/2005 05:08 PM

My husband (eight years after the wedding): I really don't want kids.



Me: What? Why? We talked about this many times!



Him: I don't like them. I don't want them.





End. In. Tears.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/26/2005 05:08 PM

- My mother will be living with us.



- I got you mixed up with someone else who has the same icon.



- Oliver Chest's online persona is the best description for my real personality.



- I really don't like PeeWee Herman.



- I just married you so I could change my stupid last name.

Trae Killed Steve 156,790 17
07/26/2005 05:10 PM

<action> wakes up in strange surroundings, rolls over, kicks empty bottle of rum





HOLY FrostSTICK! I GOT MARRIED?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/26/2005 05:11 PM

"I'm Trae."



"That explains the echo when I went down on you."

Fratberry 282,940 53
07/26/2005 05:14 PM

You love me for my personality,though, right?



You still have the pooper, though, right?

Trae Killed Steve 156,790 17
07/26/2005 05:15 PM

"I'm Big Irish Guy... or oxymoron for short. Or, you can just call me Moron."

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/26/2005 05:17 PM

- Beware of the Angry Irish Inch...wait, where are you going?

Release the One Legged Space Chickens 286,527 61
07/26/2005 05:17 PM

"Honey?"

"Ummmm hummmm?" (waking up after wedding night)

"remember when I told you I was a religeous man?"

"Ummmm Hummm."

"How much do you know about the Morman Church?"

"Ummm, the what?"

"Honey, meet my first two wives, Helga and Gertrude."

Niles 3,169 9
07/26/2005 05:35 PM

That's not funny.

Millie 116,988 28
07/26/2005 05:36 PM

Someone thought it was--he got clicked.



It would have worked better if he had used the Muslim religion, since they still actually do have multiple wives.

Oliverius Chesticus XIV 203,475 12
07/26/2005 05:40 PM

Hey Niles, shut the Frost up, you stupid door to door religion sales man.

KathieLeeGriffin 332 7
07/26/2005 05:40 PM

CHIX- i think that was the funniest mormon reference EVER. Millie --- they do still have multiple wives. Ever heard of a planet called Utah?

Millie 116,988 28
07/26/2005 05:43 PM

They aren't legal wives. They have multiple partners--only one is legally considered a wife.



And, I can't believe I'm defending the Mormon religion, but the people who practice polygamy are not mainstream Mormons, but offshoot sects.



In many Islamic countries men can legally marry as many women as the wish to.

Millie 116,988 28
07/26/2005 05:44 PM

I forgot my Y!

KathieLeeGriffin 332 7
07/26/2005 05:46 PM

>>snorrrre<< huh? was someone saying something? I dozed off

Vibrantly Shaded Article of Headwear 91,274 10
07/26/2005 05:47 PM

<action> idle's his vehicle next to JillyWilly, in a closed garage </action>

It's okay, Nothing to worry about.



Just go back to sleep.

Niles 3,169 9
07/26/2005 05:48 PM

Oliver, that was a mean thing to say.

Niles 3,169 9
07/26/2005 05:49 PM

Millie, you're exactly right. It's just a persistant myth. Real Mormons aren't allowed to have more than one wife.

KathieLeeGriffin 332 7
07/26/2005 05:50 PM

Oliver, that was a mean thing to say

Ol, I think Niles is gonna put you in time out.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
07/26/2005 05:50 PM

I'm not sure if she's trying to be Kathy Lee Gifford or Kathy Griffin with her name. In any case, she's actually more irritating than the both of them combined, which I did not believe was humanly possible.

Niles 3,169 9
07/26/2005 05:50 PM

KathieLee, HELLO??? I'm joking. This is a comedy website (many people have tried to point this out to you, unsuccessfully, so I don't know why I bother). I've made more jokes about my many wives than anyone else.

KathieLeeGriffin 332 7
07/26/2005 05:52 PM

i know Niles, you silly Shakespeare. I read them. chill.

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
07/26/2005 05:54 PM

Millie is nothing if not informative.

KathieLeeGriffin 332 7
07/26/2005 05:55 PM

Hey Erika. It's called a play on words. take this and shut your pie-hole

Niles 3,169 9
07/26/2005 05:55 PM

<action>tries to calm down his wives, who are all really mad at him for posting that they are not real</action>



And by "I'm joking," of course I mean that real Mormons can have as many wives as they darn well please!

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
07/26/2005 05:57 PM

Bring it down a notch, Jilly.



Niles is a wanker, but don't harrass the Erika.

Niles 3,169 9
07/26/2005 05:58 PM

<action>thinks for a minute</action>



Hey! Wait a minute! Who let you ladies out of the kitchen, anyway!







Man. You guys should all be thankful that you don't have 12 wives. They can really be tough to control sometimes.

Bonky 75,733 15
07/26/2005 05:58 PM

"Sex is dirty and only dirty bad people do it and it's wrong and it makes the baby Jesus cry."

Niles 3,169 9
07/26/2005 06:00 PM

Is a wanker good or bad? I still can't tell if anyone likes me around here.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
07/26/2005 06:01 PM

Thanks Mr. Sir. I really didn't feel like wasting any time on that stupid little girl.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/26/2005 06:03 PM

Got Milk?

<action>starts rubbing Jilly's back...works his way up the the shoulders...moves onto the neck...starts to squeeze Jilly's throat...harder, HARDER, HARDER...ignore's Jilly's thrashing until nothing is left but a lifeless body</action>

Dogs Akimbo - sucking lower back since 1999 211,574 32
07/26/2005 06:06 PM

Sex is dirty, but only if you do it right.

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
07/26/2005 06:06 PM

Is a wanker good or bad? I still can't tell if anyone likes me around here.



Personally, I think Niles is pretty funny on occasion.



Stick around. You'll make a fine GABBER one day.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
07/26/2005 06:11 PM

A wanker ain't so great. But as it's GAB, most of the guys are literally wankers.



I also like Niles, he's kind of developing a schtick and if he just disassociates himself from the more annoying n00bs then he'll be fine.

KathieLeeGriffin 332 7
07/26/2005 06:13 PM

starts rubbing Jilly's back...works his way up the the shoulders...moves onto the neck...starts to squeeze Jilly's throat...harder, HARDER, HARDER...ignore's Jilly's thrashing until nothing is left but a lifeless body

Can't kill me. Sorry.

Niles 3,169 9
07/26/2005 06:14 PM

Thanks, Donk. Email me and I'll give you the secret password to keep the Mormons from ever coming to your house.

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
07/26/2005 06:19 PM

Thanks, Donk. Email me and I'll give you the secret password to keep the Mormons from ever coming to your house.



The burning crosses usually do a pretty good job of keeping both the Mormans and The Jehova's Witnesses away.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/26/2005 06:21 PM

But that attracts NASCAR fans and Texa...OH, so that's how you did got TTJ to move to South Dakota.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/26/2005 06:24 PM

...so that's how you did got TTJ...



It isn't a good idea to try to type like a redneck talks...nope, not at all.

OneEyedTrouserTrout 6,046 8
07/26/2005 06:25 PM

A muzzle

Niles 3,169 9
07/26/2005 06:26 PM

<action>Honestly had no intention to Mormonjack this thread - tried to help get it back on track</action>



Ummm...





Ahhh...





So, honey. Did I mention that I love kids? No. I mean I love kids.



</feeble attempt>

H-izz-o to the P-izz-ay 58,884 29
07/26/2005 07:42 PM

My vagina has teeth.

Vibrantly Shaded Article of Headwear 91,274 10
07/26/2005 07:44 PM

HP has Vagingavitis.

Vibrantly Shaded Article of Headwear 91,274 10
07/26/2005 07:52 PM

... Lemme give you some sugar, Honey. I'll make it quite the cavity.



</moron>

Smart Choice 1,296 9
07/26/2005 08:04 PM

Jennifer Wilbanks:

"I really am an owl".

H-izz-o to the P-izz-ay 58,884 29
07/26/2005 08:11 PM

My vagina has teeth.



I think I am going to make this my calling card. Not only does it have a nice Bonky-esq ring, but it can be approrate anywhere.

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/27/2005 12:49 AM

-I live in my mother's basement.

Ok, now replace "mother's" with "wife's", and "basement" with "underwear".

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
07/27/2005 12:51 AM

"I really can't stand Tom Waits"

ChainsawGutsfuck 62 8
07/27/2005 01:23 AM

a good beating. domestic violence is always funny.

I Hate Rednecks 29 9
07/27/2005 03:18 AM

A talking scale.

Mwa na na na na, na na na na, na na na na na 5,425 9
07/27/2005 04:38 AM

<action>imitates Niles, awaits the harrasment</action>





I still can't tell if anyone likes me around here.

MaxPlanck, riding round forever on a manmade horse 18,881 12
07/27/2005 05:09 AM

awaits the harrasment











Fag

Stygian Snork 45,655 12
07/27/2005 06:00 AM

"I lied. I'm not really hung like a donkey"

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/27/2005 06:23 AM

-I was only flirting with you for the clickies.

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/27/2005 06:25 AM

-I've submitted over four hundred articles, all of which have been rejected.

gorctemp 41,132 13
07/27/2005 12:59 PM

Dear, not too long ago I slept with Dead Robot...

Release the One Legged Space Chickens 286,527 61
07/27/2005 01:05 PM

"Honey, here's the telephone number of my girlfriend in case you want to get in touch with me this afternoon."

Release the One Legged Space Chickens 286,527 61
07/27/2005 01:07 PM

"Honey, you remember Bob, my best man? Here's his telephone number in case you want to get in touch with me this afternoon."

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
07/27/2005 01:10 PM

I have no goals.

TTJane, eighteen seconds before sunrise 173,958 15
07/27/2005 11:37 PM

I only had one dirty secret that I would have had to share with a husband. GAB. I fixed that problem by marrying on of you freaks.