Errol 10,584 9
08/03/2005 03:44 PM

FFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Squeamish 38,986 14
08/03/2005 03:45 PM

Both are enjoyable.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 03:45 PM

Because the women like it when you can do it good.



And when you can do it good, The women will let you know with loud pleasurable noises and reciprocated blowjobs.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
08/03/2005 03:45 PM

something that clearly looks like a moist rectum





Deepan, apparently you've only ever experienced some truly skanky vaginas.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 03:46 PM

I never really thought it was something that needed to be discussed.



If you like doing it, Do it. If not, HA! have fun screwing undesirable women.

Chris Garrettt 86,932 12
08/03/2005 03:46 PM

I love going downtown on a woman, providing she doesn't smell like a Big-Mac down there.



Who am I kidding? That would be AWESOME! Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame-seed-bun...AND Poe?



Best of both worlds.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
08/03/2005 03:46 PM

How else are you supposed to clean the puss out?

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
08/03/2005 03:47 PM

Association, no one likes to "just" Muff Dive.





Unless you are on a real limited budget.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
08/03/2005 03:47 PM

Also, am I the only one that pictured Deepan as Taj from Van Wilder?





"I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it!"

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 03:47 PM

Is anyone else picturing that Unexperienced punjab mother-Froster from Van Wilder?

Chris Garrettt 86,932 12
08/03/2005 03:47 PM

Except, watch out for the ones with more "special sauce" and "cheese" than usual.



Wink Wink

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 03:48 PM

I think it's clear what must happen, Keira.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 03:48 PM

if you can tell me a vagina is something that looks edible, i'll tell you that rachel dratch is america's next top model.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 03:50 PM

Vaginas are delicious.



I don't watch nor care for reality TV.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 03:51 PM

i'd equate myself from kumar from harold & kumar go to white castle a lot more, especially since i auditioned for the part back in '02.

Frogpop - Wicked Smaht 173,153 25
08/03/2005 03:51 PM

I just like to hold hands, anything else would be shameful.

Chris Garrettt 86,932 12
08/03/2005 03:52 PM

Better luck next time.





I hear they're gonna remake "Ghandi."



Good luck!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 03:52 PM

Yeah whatever, Just stay away from our delicious white girl vaginas, Fudge-o.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 03:53 PM

Ghandi was played by Ben Kingsley, an englishman, bucko.

Errol 10,584 9
08/03/2005 03:53 PM

Why I like vaginas

By Errol



1) It's a vagina!

2) It makes my penis happy!

3) It's a vagina!

Oliverius Chesticus XIV 203,475 12
08/03/2005 03:53 PM

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me.

I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.

I love to hear you oralise

When I'm between your thighs.

You blow me away!



Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.

I'll sit on your face, and then I'll love you truly.

Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine

If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play

Till we're blown away!

173,153 25
08/03/2005 03:55 PM

Say Frogpop, other than bulgy eyes, webbed feets, and general greenness, what is the other primary physical characteristic of the typical froglike gabber?

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 03:55 PM

Unless it starts tasting like chocolate, you won't see me down there any time soon.

Frogpop - Wicked Smaht 173,153 25
08/03/2005 03:55 PM

I'd tell you, but then Daggy would yell at me for spelling it wrong.

Aparently, everyone knows me as Yosh now 24,152 8
08/03/2005 03:56 PM

To quote Bullworth:



The Poe, the Poe, it's all about the Poe!





How does a woman get a man to eat Shakespeare?



She wipes back to front.

Frogpop - Wicked Smaht 173,153 25
08/03/2005 03:56 PM

and, again.. references available upon request.

Senior Destructor: America's Heartthrob. 60,724 12
08/03/2005 03:57 PM

Deepan, if your not willing, they're probably not gonna be willing.



By the way, going down is easily my favorite part of sex. I will actually be content with just that sometimes.

Senior Destructor: America's Heartthrob. 60,724 12
08/03/2005 03:58 PM

You're, goddamnit!

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 03:58 PM

i've actually met girls who don't like it. figure that one out.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 03:59 PM

i dont like either. sorry, i just have a weird thing vibe about sucking juices out of someone or near someone's peehole.

Errol 10,584 9
08/03/2005 03:59 PM

They're nuns.

Aparently, everyone knows me as Yosh now 24,152 8
08/03/2005 04:00 PM

I call the 30-second rule on this thread!

Senior Destructor: America's Heartthrob. 60,724 12
08/03/2005 04:01 PM

They're lying. Or they've never met someone who's any good at it.



Do em a favor. Learn how, and show them the best time they've ever had.





You will never have to worry about sex again.

Senior Destructor: America's Heartthrob. 60,724 12
08/03/2005 04:02 PM

Alright. You really are an android.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
08/03/2005 04:02 PM

Heh Sombrero, the nli Dick guy just tried to marry us.

gorcjuice gives you gas 41,132 13
08/03/2005 04:03 PM

i've actually met girls who don't like it. figure that one out.



They're called cross-dressers. So how do you like the gay bars in Baltimore?

gorcjuice gives you gas 41,132 13
08/03/2005 04:04 PM

Sorry- wrong noob, but still...how do you like them bars?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 04:04 PM

There is nothing better than using a woman's thighs as ear muffs. As you slowly bring them to climax, their legs tighten around your head...the tighter they get the closer they are...as they start to spasm...almost there...they arch their back...using your hands to play with their nipples...they are getting closer...their moans are replaced by undescribable sounds...and then...with a violent shake...they are done.



You pretty much can use them as a playground after that.

Squeamish 38,986 14
08/03/2005 04:05 PM

I dated a girl that absolutely hated it, thought it was disgusting.

gorcjuice gives you gas 41,132 13
08/03/2005 04:05 PM

BIG- you're a poet.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
08/03/2005 04:06 PM

So BIG, you got any plans this weekend?

Squeamish 38,986 14
08/03/2005 04:07 PM

Owen Wilson digs the butthole.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
08/03/2005 04:07 PM

A) This thread is a waste of my precious doing-nothing time.



B) Nuns and cross-dressers aside, not all girls care if a guy goes down on them. I couldn't care less. Sure, it's great, but I'd rather Frost.



C) Frost-ing lame thread.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 04:08 PM

I do.



So I can go down on you now?

</oblig>

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
08/03/2005 04:08 PM

I do.



So I can stop going down on you now?

Aparently, everyone knows me as Yosh now 24,152 8
08/03/2005 04:09 PM

Coo, una qu prdida de comedia. Debo ahora matarme. Muerte por el Chupacabra!

Roadkill Chickens 286,527 61
08/03/2005 04:09 PM

Cause starting off down there eliminates that outside chance that it's a he/she and forcing you to slit your wrists?

Fratberry 282,940 53
08/03/2005 04:10 PM

The last time I tried to go down on my ex-wife my head got stuck.

Squeamish 38,986 14
08/03/2005 04:13 PM

I have a video of that if you would like it.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 04:13 PM

No. Never.



Hey TTJ and Donk, BEAT IT!

OfficeHag 24,693 8
08/03/2005 04:16 PM

Five Reasons Not to Be a Penis:

1. You're bald your whole life.

2. You have a hole in your head.

3. Your neighbors are nuts.

4. The guy behind you is an Emerson.

And my personal favorite . . .

5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint !!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 04:17 PM

But I have this fashionable metal bowtie!

Senior Destructor: America's Heartthrob. 60,724 12
08/03/2005 04:17 PM

You forgot



Fwd:



>>>

>>

>>

>>>





Glad I could help.

Fratberry 282,940 53
08/03/2005 04:17 PM

I have a video of that if you would like it.



No thanks. I've already used up all of this year's therapy sessions.

Roadkill Chickens 286,527 61
08/03/2005 04:18 PM

I have a video of that if you would like it.



Having seen the video link you offered of the guy getting his head cut off that time, I doubt you not.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 04:20 PM

So BIG, you got any plans this weekend?



Didn't we discuss this last night?

TTJane-music colors my rainbow black 173,958 15
08/03/2005 04:22 PM

I stopped reading this thread after the first couple threads, and I scrolled down to post something. Then I saw Hat telling me and Donk to beat it.

Why? Have I been discussing our sex life without realizing it again? If so, let me clear a couple things up.



1. no

2. yes

3. only that one time

4. a bloody knee

5. Miss Scarlet, in the library, with the wrench

Little Irish Lila 78,555 13
08/03/2005 04:23 PM

As one of the few female perspective in this thread I would like to turn the tables.

I recently heard a women in a Discovery Scienece channel documentary on the penis say, and I quote, "There are only a couple things in this world that taste and smell like feta cheese and one of them is feta cheese."



Clean your OWN Shakespeare before you try and call us out for our own nastiness.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 04:23 PM

Erika and I got married by a spanish penis.



We're the new Ultra-GAB couple.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
08/03/2005 04:24 PM

Less whining, more sucking, bitch.

Senior Destructor: America's Heartthrob. 60,724 12
08/03/2005 04:24 PM

There actually is a video of a guy head Frost-ing some Finnish chick.





The internet is weird.

Little Irish Lila 78,555 13
08/03/2005 04:24 PM

Oh and



WELCOME BACK, SQUEAMISH!!!

Oliverius Chesticus XIV 203,475 12
08/03/2005 04:27 PM

Haha! Lila's boyfriend's penis smells like feta cheese!

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
08/03/2005 04:28 PM

Funny, he didn't look Greek.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 04:28 PM

Frost it. I'm going to go down on a girl tonight, and if I enjoy it, I owe it all to you guys. and if I don't, well. we go back to post 1.

Senior Destructor: America's Heartthrob. 60,724 12
08/03/2005 04:29 PM

Wait. Have you never done it before?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 04:29 PM

Hey Lila, want me to show you how I can breath out my ears?

TTJane-music colors my rainbow black 173,958 15
08/03/2005 04:30 PM

My personal opinion, which I'm sure nobody will read-



I don't really care either way. But, unless a woman is willing to choke on her man's schlong, she has no right to expect him to gargle with her love juices.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 04:31 PM

Hey Deepcrack, While you're being a loser on the internet, Download some lesbian pr0n and see how to do it correctly.



Also, Nobody cares about you.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 04:35 PM

Sombrero, while I appreciate your mindless insults, I for once tried to make it unusual for once and not go for the jugular for no reason whatsoever. I find it tiring, and distressing. I want peace.



Once you get this memo, I hope it gives you insight into your own life, realize that being an anus isn't healthy, and that lesbian porn isn't as good as having sex, with an actual woman, while sober, and while said girl isn't a family member.



Pass it forward.

TTJane-music colors my rainbow black 173,958 15
08/03/2005 04:35 PM

Deepan, I'll be nice and give you some advice.



Assuming you can find it, you should suck on the clit as hard as you can. And every 15 seconds or so, you should bite it. Don't worry about hurting it. They're not all the sensitive. So go ahead and bite kind of hard. She'll love you for it.

Senior Destructor: America's Heartthrob. 60,724 12
08/03/2005 04:35 PM

Answer my question, bitch!

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 04:37 PM

TTJ are you trying to see if a woman can snap a man's neck with her legs?





Oh, that was to Deepan...go for it dude, she'll love you.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 04:37 PM

Senior: I actually did, only once, and admittedly the girl didn't shave as much as she should down there (she was the type who couldn't stand shave itch), and honestly, it tasted only like genetalia to me, and I didn't like it.



But I'm figuring that other girls are better with it, that they might taste better, and it's time for me to figure out what the hell the other half of the male species is doing with their heads between y-chromosome's legs.

Senior Destructor: America's Heartthrob. 60,724 12
08/03/2005 04:38 PM

Ok.



Now explain "shave as much as she should"

Errol 10,584 9
08/03/2005 04:38 PM

copulate it. I'm going to go down on a girl tonight, and if I enjoy it, I owe it all to you guys. and if I don't, well. we go back to post 1.



Local store having a blow up doll sale?

TTJane-music colors my rainbow black 173,958 15
08/03/2005 04:38 PM

BIG, you're supposed to play along.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 04:38 PM

okay, i just looked up in google and realized that only guys have a y chromosome.



i'm still thankful i never decided to go to med school, Frost.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 04:39 PM

shave, as in had hair. black hair.





GUHHHHHHH

gorcjuice gives you gas 41,132 13
08/03/2005 04:40 PM

I demand an ID check- no way Deep is 18+.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 04:40 PM

Like the last time I "played along" with a GABber it worked out so well.





On another note, Chi Chi has surprisingly delicate hands.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 04:41 PM

i actually felt physically nauseous after thinking about it again. I was a Frost-ing moron when i was 16. goddamn.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 04:42 PM

i was probably brighter and wiser as an 18 year old. 2 years at SUNY Albany have burnt the best part of me out and replaced it with a bum with beer cans around his room.

TTJane-music colors my rainbow black 173,958 15
08/03/2005 04:42 PM

BIG, I had an image of Chi running his delicate hands all over your body go through my head.



Now I'm a little sick to my stomach. And kind of turned on. And a tiny bit sleepy.

Errol 10,584 9
08/03/2005 04:43 PM

I was a copulating moron when i was 16. goddamn



Not much changes, eh?

Senior Destructor: America's Heartthrob. 60,724 12
08/03/2005 04:43 PM

Hair grows there, ya know?



A little hair is good. Trimming is a good idea, but remember you should do it too.

Completley shaved is just weird. It makes me feel like I'm eating a 12 year old.

Purple Hayes 235 8
08/03/2005 04:44 PM

as long as we're on the subject of vagina...



i wonder why you don't read more news stories like this

gorcjuice gives you gas 41,132 13
08/03/2005 04:45 PM

Obviously, SD, you have not been to a 12 year old's cheerleading practice. Your revulsion might be a little bit misplaced.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 04:45 PM

senior, you realize some guys like thinking they're eating out a 12 year old, right?



and yes, i agree, trimming is good, but this girl have anything sharp going near it. she needed a goddamn lawnmower.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 04:46 PM

cant* for Frosts sake.

Senior Destructor: America's Heartthrob. 60,724 12
08/03/2005 04:48 PM

Gork, we'll file yours under "GAB answer" and mine under "real answer."

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 04:50 PM

Now I'm a little sick to my stomach. And kind of turned on. And a tiny bit sleepy.



Disgrouspy?

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 04:51 PM

Software error:

Can't call method "prepare" on an undefined value at lib/gab.pl line 261.



For help, please send mail to the webmaster (jay@zug.com), giving this error message and the time and date of the error.



can someone in the Zug/Gab machinery please go to line 261 and figure why the Frost it's so Frost-ing cranky?

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 04:52 PM

Once you get this memo, I hope it gives you insight into your own life, realize that being an anus isn't healthy, and that lesbian porn isn't as good as having sex, with an actual woman, while sober, and while said girl isn't a family member.





Dude, Would it not make sense that watching Lesbian porn would give a certain someone a little better grasp on the techniques of Talking to the Canoe driver?



Also, You first chastise me for taking cheap shots at you, And yet you finish with some sort of barely subtle cheap shot at Trae's well known habits.



Don't come in here starting a thread about your lack of experience and knowledge (i.e. Y chromosome) and then get mad when we berate you due to it.



Common Sense, Douchebag.

If I walk into a paintball range wearing clothes covered in Targets, I expect to get shot at.

gorcjuice gives you gas 41,132 13
08/03/2005 04:54 PM

OK, SD- I'll keep that in mind while I watch the older girls at my daughter's cherr practice tomorrow night.

gorcjuice gives you gas 41,132 13
08/03/2005 04:55 PM

OK, SD- I'll keep that in mind while I watch the older girls at my daughter's cheer practice tomorrow night.

Senior Destructor: America's Heartthrob. 60,724 12
08/03/2005 04:55 PM

Meh. Just try and find the clit.



I have to go to Bellingham and start moving into my new place now lavish my attention on thousands of beautiful vaginas.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 04:55 PM

Its pretty much your fault.



It crashes when morons start threads. This is why Lupience is limited to one a month.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 04:56 PM

sombrero, while ive been taking the hits over my so-called inexperience, you both referred to me as something you called me before to insult me, and then ended it with something that was obviously generalized. i do have a thick skin, as ive shown by insulting myself more than a few occasions, but to repeatedly put me down for no reason other than your own dislike of me sucks. give a guy a chance, or just ignore me, it's not hard.

Senior Destructor: America's Heartthrob. 60,724 12
08/03/2005 04:59 PM

my daughter's cherr practice



Holy Shakespeare! They're training more?!

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 04:59 PM

Irish, I'll keep that in mind when I go over to see your "first 12 months" anniversary thread in February.











(all in good humor)

TTJane-music colors my rainbow black 173,958 15
08/03/2005 05:05 PM

This thread reminds me a post I made that, in my opinion, is one of my funniest. It kind of fits this thread, so I'll re-post it.





"I mean, what does a normal vagina look like? How big is the clit supposed to be? How big are the lips supposed to be?



Help me out, people. The mirror is starting to fog."

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 05:06 PM

Um, I don't really want to have you show up in my year anny thread covered in ice cream.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 05:07 PM

i'll go lurk for that one, then.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 05:11 PM

Let me fix that statement for you Deepan...





i'll go lurk for that one, then





There you go.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 05:15 PM

eat me, with interest.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 05:18 PM

Sorry terrorist, I don't like curry.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
08/03/2005 05:19 PM

Worst. Vagina. Thread. Evar.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 05:19 PM

I'm trying. God help me I am trying. But it's terribly hard to ignore you when you dont shut up.



So, kindly shut the Frost up.

Not a single person on this website could give two Shakespeares whether or not you get yourself a piece of pie, So stop coming here for advice and "to chat" and start being funny you stupid dune coon.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 05:22 PM

Come on Hat, leave the sand Ogden Nash alone, he double parked his camel and it got toed.







Shut up, its the vagina thread.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 05:25 PM

Worst. Vagina. Thread. Evar.



So I take it you won't be on my ass about forgetting our anniversary!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 05:25 PM

<action> High fives anyone thats around </action>

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
08/03/2005 05:26 PM

No, but if you do you can also forget being on my ass for our anniversary!



</high fives Hat>

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 05:27 PM

"terrorist" and "dune coon". this reminds me of the time i got stopped at airport security for having lice in my beard and a bomb up my rectum. oh, and they had to quarantine my camel.



i'm indian, you ignorant mealymouthed Frosttards, my family kills those paki Shakespeareheads for a living, so until you can buy a better line, just wallow in your miserable stereotype cabinet.



sombrero, starting a thread is inherently selfish, someone has to be if they start one thinking someone will be interested in it. it's called the "forum doppler effect", and i hope you realize that it is you in fact who needs to shut the Frost up when i opened up a ray of wisdom to the fact that you're acting RETARDED trying to start Shakespeare with someone you don't have any idea of and will probably will never meet.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 05:29 PM

I am starting to miss SR. He was the only good indian.

Little Irish Lila 78,555 13
08/03/2005 05:33 PM

In the WORLD?!

Underwhere? - moving to Houston in 3 days! 101,398 77
08/03/2005 05:34 PM

There is nothing better than using a woman's thighs as ear muffs. As you slowly bring them to climax, their legs tighten around your head...the tighter they get the closer they are...as they start to spasm...almost there...they arch their back...using your hands to play with their nipples...they are getting closer...their moans are replaced by undescribable sounds...and then...with a violent shake...they are done.



You pretty much can use them as a playground after that.



BIG, holy Shakespeare. So.turned.on.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 05:35 PM

No, just in the GABerverse. He could at least hook us up if we went to casinos. What is this guy going to do? Give us gift certificates to Mobil and 7-11?

Spicey McHaggis 117,760 37
08/03/2005 05:36 PM

<action>takes notes.</action>

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 05:36 PM

UnderSpicey, every once in awhile I like to be a little helpful.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 05:38 PM

No, but i can certainly Shakespeare on your parade more ways than one.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 05:41 PM

Deepan, Pardon us for not looking into your family tree and entire ethnic background before throwing out slurs.



I'm Polish, BIG is Irish, Some people migt be German, Some Finnish, Some even British..



Y'know what? Ogden Nashes all call us "White".

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 05:44 PM

i don't know how you can throw out a slur if it doesnt even apply to someone. then it's just wasted space.



"dune coon"... ive never even seen a Frost-ing dune. "sand Ogden Nash". my friend shot one a few weeks ago in southern iraq, thats all i know about 'em.



so you tell me. why the Frost do you throw them out?

TTJane-music colors my rainbow black 173,958 15
08/03/2005 05:45 PM

Shakespeare, I missed that the first time it was posted. Thanks for pointing that out, Underwhere.

Excuse me while I go water my lily.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/03/2005 05:47 PM

Don't look up, Debris from the point might fall in your eyes as it flies over your head.

Little Irish Lila 78,555 13
08/03/2005 05:49 PM

Ooo! Ooo! And I'm black!!

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 05:51 PM

you havent even seen me, if a Ogden Nash called you white, they'd do it by seeing you- if you're too stupid to know that india's full of muslim-hating hindus, then honestly, i'm sorry i even asked.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 05:55 PM

Guys we should be nice to him, lets find out more about him before we chastise him.



What software help desk do you work at?

Underwhere? - moving to Houston in 3 days! 101,398 77
08/03/2005 05:56 PM

Big Irish Guy: UnderSpicey, every once in awhile I like to be a little helpful.



Spicey McHaggis takes notes.



BIG, when you're all out of the DBQ I sent, you just let me know. I'll be more than happy to mail more your way.

gorcjuice gives you gas 41,132 13
08/03/2005 05:59 PM

so until you can buy a better line



I'll put "I wish you were on the beach last December 26th" on the block, starting bid $5.00.

Errol 10,584 9
08/03/2005 06:01 PM

<action> dives into some muff. </action>



Eee susss wuumm ta gfff ttterd baannn tirk.

Errol 10,584 9
08/03/2005 06:02 PM

<action> looks up. </action>



Err...I just wanted to get the thread back on track.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 06:03 PM

I'm a year away from joining the marine corps and 10 months from graduating magna cum laude. you?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 06:03 PM

You might want to keep some for yourself...in case you want extra spicy Spicey.



Excuse me while I bleach my brain.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2005 06:06 PM

Me?



Graduated from Syracuse while on a full football scholarship, started a Masters, played on the Giants practice squad on and off for two years (that's how I know SUNY Albany sucks), played in NFL Europe, and I start law school in two weeks.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 06:08 PM

football to law school?



why in god's name would you want to ruin your life like that

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 06:10 PM

fyi, i do realize that MCL from UA doesn't mean much. anyone who can keep their head up past the first 10 minutes get's a 4.0 here.

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/03/2005 06:13 PM

speaking of the giants, i went to get a ticket to the practice game on saturday with the jets, and i'll be damned if i didn't get asked by eli manning himself where the men's room was on their way to the practice field.

Little Irish Lila 78,555 13
08/03/2005 06:27 PM

Oh my freaking christ.



Is this a smart competition here on Gab?



Break out the MENSA books.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
08/03/2005 08:05 PM

"Break out the MENSA books."





I thought you gals used tampons?











On a related note if you see a string. Stop eating. In the morning if you have flakey dried substance on your cheeks(face) just leave and never look at her again.

eeboney 372 8
08/04/2005 12:13 AM

Well all evening, I've avoided opening this Miltonian thread. Because of who started it.



Now,bored @ 10pm I couldn't help it. The egotism in Deep's 1st post should have automatically engaged the 'backspace' command. But there must have been a server error at precisely the crucial time.



After wading through 5-6 posts, I went back to the top and clicked EVERY SINGLE FEMALE RESPONDANT whether it was funny or not(most were).



Why, you may ask, am I being sexist in clicking only women in this thread?



Because each one of them has MORE BALLS than Saheeb.

Millie 116,988 28
08/04/2005 12:21 AM

Jeez, this thread started out pretty bad, then got irritating when the boys started bragging, and then Reaper had to gross me out at the end.



Deepan, if you've only tried it once, maybe you need to try again. But don't go into it expecting it to be great for YOU. It isn't about YOU. You may feel happy because you are making someone you care about happy, and it may be stimulating on some level, depending on how the woman reacts (however, judging by your comments, I'm not sure how well you'll be received.)



Do you really think women crave the taste of Coleridge? NO. If they derive any enjoyment out of giving head, it's because they are giving pleasure to someone else.



It's an unselfish act, dumbass.



Oh, and I love SD (not to sound all stalkerish about it).

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/04/2005 12:26 AM

millie, the thing is i never asked to be given head, and in all honesty the girls i've slept with for the most part never cared if i went down on them or not- one of them actually detested it.



i see what you mean by it being an unselfish act, and if my partner feels like it's something she'd really enjoy, i'm all for it.

eeboney 372 8
08/04/2005 12:45 AM

Let me remind you of your 1st post,Deep. If YOU can CLEARLY see the moist rectum while you're diving, then you are the most nearsighted person in the world.



And if you have normal vision(and keep your eyes open) you certainly aren't close enough to the reef to scare up any fishies.



Hope this helps.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
08/04/2005 12:51 AM

If you've only done it once, you have no experience with which to say "I hate it."



I enjoy eating at the Y. Not to brag, but I do it well. And there are times I do it without expectation of reciprocation.



I don't see it as a chore, and I take my time and do it right. Usually starting out with a slow, light tongue movement adding pressure and heat every so often. My tongue is very wide and long, which allows me the ability to catch a wide surface area, not only to move side to side but up and down without having to move much, and adding that much more when I do. I then use a side to side, clockwise swirling motion, adding pressure when at the apex of the circle until...



Well, that's for my wife to know. She's squeezed my head with her thighs on numerous occasions.



So Frost you if you can't or won't do it. You don't know what a delight you could have. It's an acquired taste, for sure, but a damn good one.



And yes, I dated a girl that would never allow me to, because she didn't want it. Her loss.

eeboney 372 8
08/04/2005 12:57 AM

You know, Hammer, you might could help Mufftaur out with his milk problem.

Little Irish Lila 78,555 13
08/04/2005 01:04 AM

Heh - first time Hammer has ever aroused me.

Little Irish Lila 78,555 13
08/04/2005 01:10 AM

That being said we could all do with the eloquent and wise words of Banky Edwards:



"All every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, nun, is some serious deep-dickin'."

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
08/04/2005 01:12 AM

I don't understand not eating something because you don't like the way it looks. Are pigs pretty? Turkeys?



A raw oyster looks like one of Paul Bunyan's loogies.



I think one learns to think of things as looking appetizing because they have already found them to be appetizing by tasting and enjoying them.



Conclusion: you are gay. Have a nice day.

Frogpop 173,153 25
08/04/2005 01:15 AM

There is nothing pretty about Turkey.. I could link you to a few threads, but you should really just take word on this one.

Frogpop 173,153 25
08/04/2005 01:15 AM

^my

Millie 116,988 28
08/04/2005 01:21 AM

<action>reads title, starts thinking</action>

I don't think you can really call it a "muff" if it's shaved bald.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
08/04/2005 01:23 AM

How the hell does my eating Poe help CG with his milk issues?



Lila, I have very good conversations with the man in the little red canoe.

Errol 10,584 9
08/04/2005 01:28 AM

On a related note..I'm watching "Strictly Sex" on Discovery Health, with Dr. Drew. They're doing "Vaginal Rejuvenation" surgery.



And let me say, I'm all for rejuvenating vaginas!

ChiliDog 322 10
08/04/2005 01:43 AM

mmmmphhhnumphammlphmmlobmmph

hmm oh, uh...



Show me a man who wont eat Poe

and I'll show you a neighbor who will.

eeboney 372 8
08/04/2005 01:44 AM

You late niters are cracking me up. Trying not to wake up the household,here, and I can't get the phrase "milk issues" outta my mind. Subdued laughter can't be good for the ribcage.

Errol 10,584 9
08/04/2005 01:48 AM

<action> vomits repeatedly </action>



NOW THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT BREAKING PENISES AND CRACKING NOISES AND AND SWOLLEN AND BLACK PENISES AND I WANT TO CRY

Hammerhead 59,399 14
08/04/2005 01:49 AM

Click it, bitch! Yeah, just like that. You like clicking it, don't you? Slow down...yeah, that's it. Enjoy clicking it.



Oh, and this fits.

larkknot 3,359 10
08/04/2005 01:54 AM

My boyfriend decided to eat me out... without considering the "results" of our earlier sexual activities.



Creampie, anyone?

Errol 10,584 9
08/04/2005 01:55 AM

<action> continues to vomit </action>



Thanks there, larknot.

eeboney 372 8
08/04/2005 01:59 AM

Let me guess- Oysters w/o the half shell?

Titters 43 7
08/04/2005 02:02 AM

I know a lezzie who ate out her girlfriend while the gf had an infection.



I still can't look her in the face.

rahrahgranny 773 7
08/04/2005 02:05 AM

Learn how



Is someone giving lessons? I'd love to sign up my hubby!

TTJane-music colors my rainbow black 173,958 15
08/04/2005 02:06 AM

For all the men bragging in this thread-



Very rarely does a man who brags about his oral talent actually have any.

rahrahgranny 773 7
08/04/2005 02:06 AM

Show me a man who wont eat Poe

and I'll show you a neighbor who will.



ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Hammerhead 59,399 14
08/04/2005 02:07 AM

I was going to say that I hoped there were people out training the seal (for reference) due to my above post, but with larkknot's post, I believe everyone is now out praying to the porcelain god.



That's one of two times I will not eat Poe. No felching, no redwings. I've Frosted a girl during her period, but I won't eat it. No Frost-ing way.



*ullgh* BLAAARRRGGG!

eeboney 372 8
08/04/2005 02:15 AM

Sorry to hear that,Hammer. Maybe Mufftaur can help YOU.



Symbiotic kind of thing, ya know?

Hammerhead 59,399 14
08/04/2005 02:20 AM

Will you start making some Frost-ing sense?



How the Frost does CG's milk issue correlate with eating Poe?

Little Irish Lila 78,555 13
08/04/2005 02:21 AM

Another thread, Hammer. Please, Hammer, don't hurt the n00bs.

eeboney 372 8
08/04/2005 02:23 AM

I still think that the best line was from,I believe, Lamburger, who said











"It ain't going to lick itself"

Kittuns: The Moosinator™ 44,835 9
08/04/2005 02:27 AM

<action>Kittuns Vagina makes an appearance.</action>

eeboney 372 8
08/04/2005 02:28 AM

Or did she say "lick HERSELF"?



Anyways, there is that 'milk issue' thing again. Y'all are really giong to get me in major noise-making trouble tomorrow.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
08/04/2005 02:33 AM

milk issue milk issue milk issue

milk issue milk issue milk issue

milk issue milk issue milk issue

milk issue milk issue milk issue

milk issue milk issue milk issue

milk issue milk issue milk issue

milk issue milk issue milk issue

milk issue milk issue milk issue

Mwa na na na na, na na na na, na na na na na 5,425 9
08/04/2005 02:36 AM

I like cheese...in general.

eeboney 372 8
08/04/2005 02:43 AM

Whoah there shark. Don't squirt your man love all over me.



You'll end up starving the baby.

La Fille Filly 39,193 20
08/04/2005 02:47 AM

Deepan. You're stupid. No one says you have to go down on a girl. Even if they did tell you to and you for whatever reason decided to, they wouldn't enjoy it because you weren't. Similarily, if a guy forces a girl to go down on him, he might find some teeth sunk into his penis.





Yeah, this post really doesn't make much sense.

Oliverius Chesticus XIV 203,475 12
08/04/2005 02:54 AM

A little boy came home one day and asked his father "Daddy, what does a vagina look like?"



The father was taken back a bit by the bluntness of the question. He took a moment to think his response through, so he could properly answer his son.



"Well son, before a man and a woman have intercourse, the woman's vagina looks like a beautiful exotic flower."



"What about after instercourse, Father?"



He took another moment.



"Well Son, have you ever seen a Bulldog eating mayonaise?"

Kittuns: The Moosinator™ 44,835 9
08/04/2005 02:55 AM

he might find some teeth sunk into his penis.



You mean you're not supposed to nibble on it?

eeboney 372 8
08/04/2005 03:01 AM

Even though I have vowed to clicky on every woman who has/had THE BALLS to post in this thread;





something in filly's post caused me to pause(yeah I know that sorta rhymes) and not automatically clickie her/him.



Am I wrong for being so blatently sexist?

La Fille Filly 39,193 20
08/04/2005 03:04 AM

You have no idea how weird it is to have people debate your existence. If you can't decide on a gender, "sher" works well enough.









I'm channeling Phla tonight.

eeboney 372 8
08/04/2005 03:17 AM

Okay, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. Consider yourself a "sher". and u wr clikd.

Lamb Salad Sandwich 33,017 9
08/04/2005 03:57 AM

I HAVE A VAGINA!

Frogpop 173,153 25
08/04/2005 04:02 AM

showoff.

Frogpop 173,153 25
08/04/2005 04:05 AM

Did you bring enough to share with the rest of the class?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/04/2005 04:17 AM

In response to the people who said that guys that brag about their oral skills usually don't have them and a tip to the curry stink that started the thread.



Date an older woman. They will tell you what they want and if you don't know how, they will teach you by telling you what to do. Learning how to go down on a girl properly was one of the best lessons I learned in college.

TTJane-music colors my rainbow black 173,958 15
08/04/2005 04:21 AM

After reading BIG's post, I can tell you with confidence that I think he's trying to tell us he licked his own mother's Poe, and that she told him that he was doing it wrong.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/04/2005 04:22 AM

That might have been the strangest way that anyone has said, "Your mom goes to college."

Lamb Salad Sandwich 33,017 9
08/04/2005 04:24 AM

TableTopJane: making baby sheep choke on their soda since 2005.

TTJane-music colors my rainbow black 173,958 15
08/04/2005 04:30 AM

You think I'm funny, and you haven't even seen what I'm sitting at my computer desk wearing.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/04/2005 04:32 AM

Do they have a butt flap?



I ask for no reason.

Frogpop 173,153 25
08/04/2005 04:33 AM

swearbot is awesome.

TTJane-music colors my rainbow black 173,958 15
08/04/2005 04:38 AM

I am not at all ashamed to admit that they do, in fact, have a butt flap. And I love them dearly.





And, before anyone else can say iy-

But not as much as Donk loves the butt flap.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/04/2005 04:40 AM

You would think he liked the butt fap better.





That makes no sense.

TableTopJane is not a registered trademark 173,958 15
08/04/2005 05:51 AM

I mentioned this not too long ago, but this seems like the perfect time to do so again.



Eatine pineapple or drinking pineapple juice will change the flavor of your love juices. This is true for both men and women. The more you know...

Lamb Salad Sandwich 33,017 9
08/04/2005 06:08 AM

I got your passion fruit right here, baby.

Lamb Salad Sandwich 33,017 9
08/04/2005 06:19 AM

Don't worry! I don't even know what I'm saying half the time!

Lamb Salad Sandwich 33,017 9
08/04/2005 06:21 AM

Oh um...wait. I mean...STFU n00b!



RAAAARRR!!

Roadkill Chickens 286,527 61
08/04/2005 10:37 AM

1. Deadpan asked a question.

2. Everyone that answered "yes" has been called a braggart.

3. Shaddup

4. The best orgasims I have ever dealt out have been from oral, and yes I get a huge charge out of it. Hearing your partner call your name, mixed with "Oh God" and "please don't stop" etc really gets your juices flowing. You will never see a girl more worked up. And since we guys are visually stimulated, what more could you ask.



Unless maybe the dog is giving you a lick from under the bed at the same time, in which case, HOOOOBoooYYY. (kidding, no really, that never really happened. And I got no pleasure out of it at the time. Really.)

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
08/04/2005 10:52 AM

Anyone that has ever been lucky enough to hear the Late Great Sam Kinison do his routine on this topic most likely remembers Sam's words whenever they find themselves face to.......vagina with a...... vagina. Sam told us that every guy was on his own the first time he had to lick Poe. He added that most men as a result, lick it like they are painting a fence. However he had a trick. He told us, that if you just lick the alphabet, every letter, nice and slow, then start over, she will think you are a great lickmaster from the far east.



The best part was after that hint, he giggles and says, "Yea you think it sounds corny , but I'll make you a little bet.....the next time you are about to go down on a chick.....I guarantee you, my words tonight will go through your head. You will be down there licking away, and you will start singing in your head... E, F, G,.....H, I, J, K, L, M.......Ohhhhh Ohhhh Noooo That Sam Kinison was right !



Just whatever you do, don't start humming the Frost-ing song out loud.

Underwhere? - moving to Houston in 2 days! 101,398 77
08/04/2005 11:19 AM

Usually starting out with a slow, light tongue movement adding pressure and heat every so often. My tongue is very wide and long, which allows me the ability to catch a wide surface area, not only to move side to side but up and down without having to move much, and adding that much more when I do. I then use a side to side, clockwise swirling motion, adding pressure when at the apex of the circle until...



HH - without a doubt, that was absolutely the hottest thing I've ever read on GAB.



Yeah..so I have to go now.

Aparently, everyone knows me as Yosh now 24,152 8
08/04/2005 11:32 AM

The trick to tongue bathing a woman's rosebud is all about the technique. I would start of by some of the most passionate kissing to help her into the mood. Then I'd lay a trail of kisses down her neck, down her chest, down past her tummy until you are gently kissing the inner thighs. Once the girl is properly lubricated you can tease her by sticking out your tongue and flicking it over the clit and then blowing cool air onto her to help the clit come out. Once the clit is ready you can slip in two fingers and use them to explore inside her; massaging the g-spot while circling the clit with your tongue. When the clit is sticking out and her moisture is at it's peak I would begins sucking on the clit and running my tongue over it while moving my fingers inside her faster and faster until she climaxes.



A nice little after treat is to clean up every drop slowly and lovingly.

Aparently, everyone knows me as Yosh now 24,152 8
08/04/2005 11:33 AM

oh and don't forget, use your free hand to play with her nipples. Nipples aren't just sensitive, but fun too.

Ravos, The Taco Squirrel 695 8
08/09/2005 02:02 AM

You know the old saying:



"Smells like chicken, keep on lickin'. Smells like trout, get the Frost out."

Napkin Wundt MD 30,762 12
08/09/2005 02:06 AM

AND IF IT SMELLS LIKE POOP THEN UR ON THE WRONG SIDE! LOL!

Rindercella 139 8
08/09/2005 09:13 AM

Now this is a topic johnnykielbasa will enjoy! (wink wink nod nod)

Jilly 24,693 8
08/09/2005 10:06 AM

No, I blame them. Chicks never help you out. They never tell you what to do. And most of them are self- conscious about that smell factor, and so most of the time they just lay there, frozen like a deer in theheadlights, right? Not for nothing, but when a chick goes down on me I let her know where to go, and what the status is. You gotta handle it like CNN and the Weather Channel - constant updates.

Jilly 24,693 8
08/09/2005 10:13 AM

AND ONE MORE THING...



Sure. You wanna see something permanent!(pulls our front tooth) I got this from Nina Rollins sophomore year. I'm going down on

her, and out of nowhere, her cat jumps on her stomach. She does this big ol'pelvic thrust - cracks my tooth in half, sends it down my throat. I had to get a crown for the stub.

Napkin Wundt MD 30,762 12
08/09/2005 11:30 AM

Frost-ing liar.

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
08/10/2005 11:33 AM

I spent 12 years in the Navy. 8 years on submarines. I'm a certified Master diver. Rindercella gave me my certification!!

Jilly 24,693 8
08/10/2005 11:45 AM

Well damn, Johnny - my boyfriend is a Navy man-- 8yrs.on a sub, and certified diver. Wait a minute....

Honey?

lingering flies 33 7
08/25/2005 07:58 PM

given the right amount of flour i might try it

Suzy Gardner's Dad 2,724 8
08/26/2005 12:40 AM

No need to go stampeding straight at the clitoris! Seriously, there's breasts around those nipples, silky thighs, labia, perineum and vagina before you even get to the clitoris.



You had an ugly experience that one time, and the only way to purge that is to have pleasant ones.



Start with a shower. Lather each other up and down with shampoo -- it's silkier than soap and not as drying. Foam each other's genitals up good, but don't shove shampoo in her vagina (that can burn). Get between her labia and over her anus in long, smooth strokes. Slide your body up and down hers while lathered. You can slide fingers in her vagina a bit once the shampoo's washed away.



Towel off. Skin is cool, smooth and dry, like cool cotton sheets. Stroke her body gently all over, just her skin, outer labia, brushing her pubic hair. Pay attention to her body, her heat, the sounds she makes. When she's getting into it, you can slide down between her legs.



Brush her there with your face. Inhale -- she's pleasantly fragrant from the shower with a hint of her own sweetness. Tongue her labia gently, a little between. Let a little saliva run between to help her moisten up. Take your time, you're in control...

Suzy Gardner's Dad 2,724 8
08/26/2005 12:41 AM

Open her labia gently and lick between the folds of her inner and outer lips. You just washed her there, so she'll be sweet. You can stroke her body, breasts, buttocks, thighs.



Slip down to the perineum, at the base of the vaginal opening. In one long, even pressured stroke, lick her all the way up to her clitoris a few times, but only brush the clitoris. You can stroke her anus lightly with your fingers or tongue. Push your tongue inside her vagina. Different depths and presure. Play around until she's really teased. Now you can pay more attention to nipples and clitoris.



Listen to her. Sense her rhythm, her intensity.



Flick her clitoris with the hard pointed tip of your tongue. When she's wet, slip index and middle fingers inside her. In and out a little. Then press up inside her vagina and feel for a rough spot about 2-3 inches inside her. Stroke it while licking around and on her clitoris.



She's close now, pushing her pelvis harder against you. Hard tipped tongue flicking her clitoris, sucking. Faster. Harder, thrusting your fingers in and out of her, touching or pressing her anus with your pinky. When she pushes hard against you in orgasm, give her resistance. You're not so much pushing her back, you're just not letting her move you.

Suzy Gardner's Dad 2,724 8
08/26/2005 12:42 AM

After you've thoroughly eaten her out, email me and tell me what my dick tasted like.

Fratberry 282,940 53
08/26/2005 12:51 AM

Very nice setup.

Carnite 1,300 9
08/26/2005 04:02 AM

Teachers are the best to go down on, aside from just being caring and giving people in general, they're really encouraging.



If you get it right, you get a gold star! If you don't get it right, you stay late until you bloody well learn.



</stolen material>



</expects interjection from middle aged professor offering gold stars>

Carnite 1,300 9
08/26/2005 04:03 AM

</blatant and cheap way to revive an oversized thread>



So I wanted to hear more about those water lillies, meh.

Chickens 286,527 61
08/26/2005 09:42 AM

Holy Shakespeare Suzy Gardner's Dad. What a great setup for a stone cold punchline. WELL DONE.

La Petite Mort de TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/26/2005 09:50 AM

Most arousing setup EVAR!



Now, excuse me. I need some Janey time.

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
08/31/2005 01:38 AM

This truly deserves 200 more bumps

Carnite 1,300 9
08/31/2005 01:44 AM

I remember this thread.



Did you go back to the Y for a snack?



What's your revised opinion?