Errol 10,584 9
08/10/2005 09:09 PM

Unfortunately for them, I'm a slave to the penis.



Giggidy Giggidy Goo.

Oliverius Chesticus XIV 203,475 12
08/10/2005 09:12 PM

Throw a cucumber in the room, and a tub of vaseline.

Everyones Grudge 2,480 11
08/10/2005 09:13 PM

<action>'s gargantuan erection blasts through his fly, smacking him in the chin and making him spill coffee all over his cat</action>

Polo Chukker 4,634 12
08/10/2005 09:14 PM

But Ollie, that would involve opening the door!! This is my sister we're talking about here.. and a girl with arm hair thicker than hay. I think not.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
08/10/2005 09:31 PM

Give them a Dykey Call.

Mwahiy: The Bitter, Sexually Frustrated One 5,425 9
08/10/2005 09:37 PM

Everyones Grudge 's gargantuan erection blasts through his fly, smacking him in the chin and making him spill coffee all over his cat



Hah, he spilled his fluids on the Poe.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
08/10/2005 09:42 PM

Crank up that AEROSMITH song - DUDE (LOOKS LIKE A LADY).

Everyones Grudge 2,480 11
08/10/2005 09:43 PM

AND THE Poe SPILLED BACK! All over the floor. I had to clean it up, and it certainly didn't taste very good.

Ditdah, now part of the Spoon Army 123,110 14
08/10/2005 10:22 PM

She's doing it with another girl?

GROSS!

Mwahiy: The Bitter, Sexually Frustrated One 5,425 9
08/10/2005 10:24 PM

Not a very successful lesbian, eh?

nermal-the world's cutest fabulounik 8,478 12
08/10/2005 10:29 PM

My new job interfers too much with GABbing...I was totally under the impression that Polo Chukker was a boy.

Mwahiy: The Bitter, Sexually Frustrated One 5,425 9
08/10/2005 10:30 PM

*Teh more you know*

Ditdah, now part of the Spoon Army 123,110 14
08/10/2005 10:31 PM

Personally I don't ever try and talk someone into 'switching sides.' I figure, I wouldn't want someone telling me I needed to start dating men again, although I can pretty much gurantee it would happen if the GF and I split. I figure most people can figure out who they like.

Ditdah, now part of the Spoon Army 123,110 14
08/10/2005 10:33 PM

I was totally under the impression that Polo Chukker was a boy.



I've said this before, and he laughed his ass off at me in Boston, but when I started on GAB I thought Polo was Frogpop's daughter.



We need a reference guide around this place.

nermal-the world's cutest fabulounik 8,478 12
08/10/2005 10:40 PM

A long time ago in a land far far away I kissed a girl and when it was over I looked her in the eye and said, "You're a really good kisser but you convinced me that I like dick."



Recently I had a bi-chick hitting on me and I told her that story when she asked how I knew that I didn't like girls. She couldn't understand how I knew that from just a kiss and tried to convince me that "it just wasn't done right." I found myself being really annoyed at the situation.

Ditdah, now part of the Spoon Army 123,110 14
08/10/2005 10:44 PM

I did NOT hit on you in Boston!

nermal-the world's cutest fabulounik 8,478 12
08/10/2005 10:46 PM

<action>kicks dirt</action>I noticed.

Ditdah, now part of the Spoon Army 123,110 14
08/10/2005 10:47 PM

Uh... wow... um.... I have to go take care of something now.

Mwahiy: The Bitter, Sexually Frustrated One 5,425 9
08/10/2005 11:19 PM

<action>throws Ditdah a couple packs of batteries, just in case the old ones have worn out by now</action>

Ravos, The Taco Squirrel 695 8
08/10/2005 11:22 PM

Im sitting in the back at work today, and this one girl walks in with a plastic bag. She is smiling, and sorta laughing. She comes up to me and is like "this is awesome. These Cucumber are HUGE"



she pulled one out of the bag, and it was simply massive. I'm like "Wow, you must really like Cucumber." and she is like "I love it."



So then i said, "I myself am not a fan of cucumber."



To which she replied "I should hope not."



I know she wanted me right then and there. Stupid work getting in the way!

DemoMonkey, Pranked by a Master. 166,252 10
08/10/2005 11:24 PM

Unfortunately for them, I'm a slave to the penis.







...

Ummm.



Then why were you with Frogpop?

Frogpop - Wicked Smaht 173,153 25
08/10/2005 11:26 PM

I was totally under the impression that Polo Chukker was a boy.



I WAS DATING A DUDE!?

Frogpop - Wicked Smaht 173,153 25
08/10/2005 11:26 PM

when I started on GAB I thought Polo was Frogpop's daughter



MY OTHER DAUGHTER IS A LESBIAN!?!!1

Frogpop - Wicked Smaht 173,153 25
08/10/2005 11:28 PM

Then why were you with Frogpop?



The Shadow knows..

DemoMonkey, Pranked by a Master. 166,252 10
08/10/2005 11:34 PM

The weed of crime bears tiny fruit.

Jesus-Fish Tapeworm 592 8
08/10/2005 11:51 PM

My sister is a lesbian and this is what she said she would do:



Stick her tongue in her vagina.



Hope that helps.

Lupience takes pictures of children 26,981 11
08/11/2005 12:16 AM

Recruiting lesbian sisters are ruining GBLAM!

Millie 116,988 28
08/11/2005 01:03 AM

Unfortunately for them, I'm a slave to the penis.



This subject came up today at work.



My friend and I were discussing the idiocy of men. God, they can be stupid and irritating (yeah, so can women--blah, blah, blah...)



Lisa: I should date women.



Me: Yeah, that would be great.



Lisa: If I didn't like penises.



Me: And lesbian sex didn't gross me out so much.



We've already agreed that we'd make a great couple if we were gay. Unfortunately, we aren't. Our gay friend Patty is always telling us to get together. She thinks everyone is really gay. Or, it's just wishful thinking on her part.



She always saying, "You two should get together."



I said once, "Yeah, so you can watch."



She said, "Of course!"



By they way, Patty is not one of those lipstick lesbians. She's more like a man with boobs.



Polo, I've been to a lesbian bar (called Sisters). It was fun. If you like to dance, you'll have a good time. No obnoxious men there to bug you. Lesbians are much more polite.

Ravos, The Taco Squirrel 695 8
08/11/2005 07:58 AM

so 'patty' is a 'transvestite' who wants 'lesbians' to have 'sex' with 'him'

Health Is Bad For Your Smoking 138 8
08/11/2005 08:18 AM

What should I do next?



Video-tape and post it here..

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
08/11/2005 09:02 AM

I thought Polo was Frogpop's daughter.



When a guy repeatedly asks "who's your daddy," it doesn't necessarily mean that the person he's addressing is actually his child.

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
08/11/2005 09:11 AM

On the subject of gay/lesbian siblings, I consider myself somewhat of an authority (having one of each).



Just let them be. "Why," I asked my wife, "does it sometimes seem that they live to find out another one of us is one of them?"



"Professor," she wisely replied, "imagine how happy you'd be if one of them decided to take up playing the fife."

Health Is Bad For Your Smoking 138 8
08/11/2005 09:12 AM

Lesbians don't "play the fife"

Frogpop - Wicked Smaht 173,153 25
08/11/2005 09:30 AM

Full pee tube for the man with the fife, please.

Chickens 286,527 61
08/11/2005 09:39 AM

(Yeah, YOU know who you are. Wife be dammned!)

Chickens 286,527 61
08/11/2005 09:40 AM

Yeah, I know it aint me, but a boy can dream, can't he?

gwallaia 3,510 12
08/11/2005 10:49 AM

Is your sister and her girlfriend hot looking lesbians like in the movies or the manly looking Butch dykes like I see at Home Depot?

Ditdah, now part of the Spoon Army 123,110 14
08/11/2005 02:31 PM

I just saw that... Chix, I wasn't thinking of you when I wrote that, but...



GET YO' ASS TO OHIO ALREADY! I'm sick of waiting.

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
08/11/2005 05:28 PM

Back to back full tubes! That's a GAB ground-rule double (and a first for me).

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
08/11/2005 05:37 PM

OMG............... now I get it.......... :)

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
08/11/2005 05:41 PM

The "Spoon Army" is gay and ditdah wants to be general!!

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
08/11/2005 05:47 PM

Declan and Trixie are fighting over who gets to be the "Staff Sargeant" and the "Rear Admiral"

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
08/11/2005 05:52 PM

OMG............. rear action always results in staff!!

Frogpop - Wicked Smaht 173,153 25
08/11/2005 05:53 PM

Does your wife always call you 'Professor'?



That's hot.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/11/2005 05:56 PM

My coworker just showed me a picture he found of a chick propped up kinda standing on one leg, curled forward with her back resting on a barrel, Licking her own vagina.



This thread seemed most appropriate to mention it.

Polo Chukker 4,634 12
08/11/2005 06:02 PM

Does your wife always call you 'Professor'?



That's hot.



Now who wants to be my professor?

<action> Gets and idea.....and a plaid skirt.</action>

Polo Chukker 4,634 12
08/11/2005 06:04 PM

an idea....... AN idea!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/11/2005 06:05 PM

<action> puts on tight beige pants, a small round helmet and whips out his stiff black crop </action>

I'll let Frogpop be your professor, But let him know I got his Shakespeare on lock down.

Polo Chukker 4,634 12
08/11/2005 06:08 PM

puts on tight beige pants, a small round helmet and whips out his stiff black crop



But I'd rather you be my professor!





Did everyone miss the point? It's too bad it was Frogpop I quoted, however it could have been anyone.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/11/2005 06:11 PM

<action> zips up his full-body latex Nutbutter suit </action>

Alright fine, I'll play along.



Where is the penis on this thing?

Oliver Chesticles 203,475 12
08/11/2005 06:21 PM

Kielbasa. Read this.



Then read it again. And then read it 50 more times until you understand it.



Picture this. Say you are throwing a party. You have an open invitation out there for anyone to attend. Most of the people are mature, and treat your home with respect.



Then someone you don't know shows up. You don't pay much attention at first. But then you see that he pushes over your potted plants. Doesn't pick them up, just walks off like it didn't happen.



Then you see that he starts slapping all the girls asses and saying "LOOK AT ME! Pbtpbtpbtbpt!" And he makes all your friends feel uncomfortable, and they start to leave.



Then you confront him, and tell him to chill out. While you are trying to get him to call down, he drops his pants and takes a Shakespeare on your floor.



Then he lights your home on fire.



Kielbasa, please stop being that guy.



Here are some more pointers.



Lupience started out a bit like that, but she seems to be getting the feel for it. The same goes for the Hartmantwins.



I understand your need to express your individuality here, as it is hard to stand out and show your personality on a message board, but you are treating this place like it is an AOL chat room. We don't use smiley faces, or "LOL's" here. We also don't end our senteces with "!!!!!!!!!!" or "?????????." You don't need more than one at a time.



We are adults, as you claim to be one as well. You are 58, and act 12. Please, show your age and stop acting like a child.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/11/2005 06:23 PM

<action> eventually finds it connected to the back of the right thigh </action>

Butters, I'm sorry.

Butters' wife, I'm sorry.





Funny enough, Those are two apologies with completely different meanings.

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
08/11/2005 07:32 PM

Does your wife always call you 'Professor'?









Only when they are playing Gilligan's Island.

turtle10 - the forgotten gabber 42,578 26
08/11/2005 07:38 PM

<action> clicked Ollie solely because of 'Pbtpbtpbtbpt'</action>

Napkin Wundt MD 30,762 12
08/11/2005 07:53 PM

<action>glares at Ollie</action>Ooooh, yeah I knock over three potted plants, and slap some ass, and you get all pissy!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/11/2005 07:54 PM

While we're confessing..



It was me that Shakespeare on the carpet.

Pants 14,252 17
08/11/2005 09:25 PM

<action>wipes mouth on left sleeve</action>



Don't worry about it; I cleaned it up.

The Mofopotamus 10,950 10
08/11/2005 10:28 PM

When they come out, be like "Can I make you some tuna sandwiches? Oh, wait you probably want to eat something else for a change."

Ditdah, now part of the Spoon Army 123,110 14
08/11/2005 10:30 PM

Psst

The thread is from yesterday. I'm guessing they are done by now.



But if not... Polo, can I meet your sister?

The Mofopotamus 10,950 10
08/11/2005 10:37 PM

Oh like I friggin check the times! Besides, they're two chicks! They don't have to worry about latency. They very well still could be beaver hunting for all we know.

Polo Chukker 4,634 12
08/12/2005 12:15 AM

Polo, can I meet your sister?



Yes, but only becuase you don't look like a man.

Just one question first..

Do you regularly get rid of your upper lip hair?

If so, then you certainly meet my requirments for anyone looking to become my sister's partner, and you're certainly more attractive than the girl she's dating now.



How soon can you get here?

Millie 116,988 28
08/12/2005 12:23 AM

...manly looking Butch dykes like I see at Home Depot?



Well, I was going to protest, but I'm not gay. And I did mention my friend Patty, who used to be a Marine and looks it.



But not all the lesbians I work with are Bull Dykes. You probably just notice them because they fit the stereotype. There are probably just as many cute, girly lesbians working there, too.

Frogpop 173,153 25
08/12/2005 12:26 AM

Are they the ones in the unicorn department?

Third row down from Alchemy?

Just past the Holy Grail display?

Ravos, The Taco Squirrel 695 8
08/12/2005 08:57 AM

Damn, i gots to get me a job at home depot. Giggidy giggdy giggidy!

DeVangelous 7 8
08/12/2005 12:45 PM

That's pretty messed up. Best of wishes. Just try not to get squirted on.