Fat and Creepy
A comedy conversation
by supergrover  4,517  9
08/15/2005 01:16 AM 231 views
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My friend teaches swim class for little kids and in her class she has a little girl. The girl is adorable. Two years old with blond curls and blue eyes, and also very very fat. And Creepy.
Some of the gems from fatty's mouth are:
All the kids are told to get out of the water and think about their swimming technique and what they can do to improve. All the kids hop up onto the bleachers, but fatty turns around and says, "I want to think about food!"
All the kids are begging for the last ten minutes of class to be free time. My friend turns to fatty and says, "Do you want free time?"
Fatty says, "I want McDonald's."
That's why fatty is fat. But now I'll tell you why she's creepy. She hits on all the other little girls in class. There's one little girl in particular who is the polar opposite of fatty, and whom fatty likes to hit on every day. She wears stilleto's and skirts onto the floor every day. She is disgusted by fatty.
Every day fatty comes up to her and says, "Oh look how pretty you are. You're gorgeous."
Fatty grabs prissy's face and looks into her eyes, "Oh let me look at you. Look at your pretty eyes. They're so pretty." Following almost every statement she kisses the girl. And not on the cheek, but anywhere she pleases. The back, the shoulder, the hand.Prissy tries to rub the memory of the kisses away by vigorously scrubbing with the pool water. Fatty ignores this obvious disdain and will turn to my friend, "Look teacher. Isn't she beautiful?" Kiss, Kiss.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
10 votes
5.0
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Side-splitting
8 votes
5.0
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I am Straw 97,995  37
08/15/2005 01:20 AM
I call shenanigans. Two years old and doing all this? Come on.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Lamb Salad Sandwich 33,017 9
08/15/2005 01:20 AM
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0 votes
0.0
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BobJohnson, President of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
08/15/2005 01:37 AM
Hmmmm. Someone fat hitting on a little girl? And no one has made an Oliver joke? I'm ashamed of you all.
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Side-splitting
7 votes
5.0
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Errol 10,584 9
08/15/2005 01:39 AM
It's like if Ollie and Chris's daughter spawned.
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Side-splitting
9 votes
5.0
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Jesus-Fish Tapeworm 592 8
08/15/2005 01:55 AM
Why do fat kids need swimming lessons anyway? They're buoyant.
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0 votes
0.0
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Potrzebie 1,790 9
08/15/2005 02:14 AM
"I want to think about food!"
I'd say fatty is the infamous child-eating demon from heck.
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
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Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/15/2005 02:21 AM
This is the worst piece of writing since Carrot Top wrote his life story.
2 year olds dont have lesbian fat experiences either.
boo.
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Side-splitting
8 votes
5.0
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Oliverius Chesticus XIV 203,475 12
08/15/2005 02:39 AM
After reading the title of this thread, I am more than a bit dissapointed that it wasn't about me.
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0 votes
0.0
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hairy stool 1,370 9
08/15/2005 03:10 AM
No Ollie, it wasn't about you, it was for you.
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0 votes
0.0
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Armored 3,923 8
08/15/2005 04:14 AM
A two-year old in stilletos and a mini is creepy for sure. Creepy... and mildly arousing.
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0 votes
0.0
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supergrover 4,517 9
08/15/2005 05:17 AM
She might be three years old. Personally my friend and I think she's been molested. It sounds like the kind of thing Ollie would say to a little kid he was horny for but wanted to calm down. "Oh, aren't you pretty." Kiss Kiss.
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