Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/15/2005 02:36 AM

clicked on this expecting a poop story.



realllllly smooth.

Oliverius Chesticus XIV 203,475 12
08/15/2005 02:42 AM

All my movements are pretty smooth. I eat lots of fiber.

Everyones ('Aaron Altman') McGrudge 2,480 11
08/15/2005 03:39 AM

Little girls' t-shirts and panties don't count as fiber, Ollie.

I am Straw 97,995 37
08/15/2005 03:44 AM

When I was a kid and tried to say "Smooth move, ex lax" it would always come out, "Smoove move, ex lax."

supergrover 4,517 9
08/15/2005 05:25 AM

I think there could be a market for child size edible panties.

Lovely Little Luscious Irish Lady Lila 78,555 13
08/15/2005 07:15 AM

I hate you.

Neep scrapes the CG shit off her tongue. 35,066 15
08/15/2005 07:26 AM

I was walking along next to my friend when school finished today. We were both carrying heavy piles of books. As we were passing the staff room I suddenly stepped sideways and shouldered her so she had to step out in front of a junior and disrupt the flow of people. We like doing juvinile things like that.



A few seconds later as revenge she did the same thing to me but instead of just stepping sideways to regain my balance and catch my books before they hit the ground, I tripped over one of the wooden posts bordering a garden and fell into a bush. Dozens of students and teachers making their way to the gates and the staffroom were watching, but I reckon that if I'm going to make a fool of myself, I may aswell do it well.



This friend is Anja the Destroyer. In 3rd form I drew a penis on her face in sharpie, like in 10 Things I Hate About You. And she let me.

Lamb Salad Sandwich 33,017 9
08/15/2005 07:27 AM

Well there was this time I took this really huge disgusting Shakespeare and decided to take a picture of it and post it on the inter--



Oh wait that wasn't me.

MaxPlanck, riding round forever on a manmade horse 18,881 12
08/15/2005 08:51 AM

At school, we have these doors that have big windows in the top half. Once, the window in one of the more frequently used doors got cracked, and the dude came to fix it just before lunch break. He took the glass out, then left it out when people started coming out of classes. People always push on the glass to open the door. Every single person who tried to go through this door would push on the nonexistant glass, realising all too late that there was no glass there, before falling on their faces on the other side. Needless to say, it was hilarious watching people get hurt in this manner.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
08/15/2005 09:15 AM

One of the more memorable dumb thigs I have done was during a game of Rounders (a simplified version of Baseball).



I hate sport with a passion, so when I was bowling, I went right to the back of our designated 'pitch'. Surely no one would hit it out that far, so I could just chill out there and everyone would profit.



It was not to be.



The ball comes flying over my head, and I tear off after it. I start bending down as I am running to scoop the ball off the ground. But I just get lower, and lower, and lower still, until I compeletely lose my balance and fall flat on my face. Note: I didn't trip on anything. I just fell over.



This was made only marginally worse by the fact an American family were picnicing behind us, and, as well as laughing at our poor 'baseball' skills, the little kid ran up to me with his wee mitt and handed me the ball. As I lay on the ground, paralysed by shame.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
08/15/2005 09:30 AM

I used to play basketball when I was younger (when I was actually considered tall for my age). We were playing our rival town, and so the gym was packed with fans supporting both teams.



It was toward the end of the game, and the score was pretty tight. Something happened and the ball came loose from one of their players' hands, and started rolling across the floor toawards me. It happened so quickly that it actually had gotten a bit past me before I bent down to pick it up, so I had to put my arms through my legs to retrieve it from behind me. My teammates and most of the other team were already taking off to our side of the court, thinking that I had a definite steal and would be passing the ball down any second.



The problem was I couldn't get the damn ball from between my legs. I was trying to pull it through, but it was too wide and my legs weren't open enough. My teammates were all frantically yelling at me to give them the ball, and I was so panicked in fear of Frost-ing it up that I didn't think of just opening my legs a little wider. Instead, I gave the ball one final tug, knocking out my own knees and causing me to fall flat on my ass, and half of the ball. The ball shot out from under me like a rocket and into the stands, where both towns had put aside their differences and come together to laugh at me.

MaxPlanck, riding round forever on a manmade horse 18,881 12
08/15/2005 09:33 AM

I remember rounders. I hated it with a passion.

jepreport - premature articulator 58,758 13
08/15/2005 10:09 AM

13 posts and still no poop. Disappointed.

Phuc 237,919 21
08/15/2005 10:15 AM

This friend is Anja the Destroyer. In 3rd form I drew a penis on her face in sharpie, like in 10 Things I Hate About You. And she let me.



OK. I know you're a foreigner and all, but I'm reasonably sure that they country you live in cites English as its predomenant language.



That paragraph made less sense than Charo on horse tranquilizers.

Bizzaro Duh 24,152 8
08/15/2005 10:43 AM

Coochie! CooTHUD!

Zzzzzzz....

Armored 3,923 8
08/15/2005 10:43 AM

I remember rounders. I hated it with a passion.



Never speak again. Ever. Seriously.

Neep scrapes the CG shit off her tongue. 35,066 15
08/15/2005 05:01 PM

OK. I know you're a foreigner and all, but I'm reasonably sure that they country you live in cites English as its predomenant language.



My friend Anja is the one they call Destroyer. When we were in 3rd form (when we were 13), I used a sharpie to draw a penis on her face while she sat still and let me.

Jilly 24,693 8
08/15/2005 05:11 PM

I have a UTI.







i got nothin

HighSoci 30,109 18
08/15/2005 08:07 PM

watching people get hurt in this manner.





It's always funny until someone gets hurt....







..then it's hilarious.

Entendre, Entendre 4 7
08/15/2005 09:08 PM

<action> looks up </action> ^ Old'd.

monkeywrencho 443 9
08/15/2005 11:41 PM

<action>turns on her sirens.</action> predominant.



</grammar police>

Neep scrapes the CG shit off her tongue. 35,066 15
08/16/2005 01:29 AM

Today I shoved her and got her right in the bush.







*sOgden Nashes*

Livewire the Kelly Girl 78,229 13
08/16/2005 01:32 AM

and got her right in the bush.



fap

Neep scrapes the CG shit off her tongue. 35,066 15
08/16/2005 02:06 AM

That was why I said it.



*dances*

MaxPlanck, riding round forever on a manmade horse 18,881 12
08/16/2005 03:45 AM

13 posts and still no poop. Disappointed.



One time, I'd been drinking and I took a massive crap on my front lawn.



Happy now?

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
08/16/2005 05:51 AM

I went to a traditional Indian Wedding (The red dot kind), and being the adventurous type, I decided to try eating some of everything at the buffet. I started out by asking the people around me what stuff was, but quickly discovered that they receive great joy in tricking non-Indian people into eating what most would consider to hot to be realistically edible. Being one of five white people among this group of over 200 people didn't help matters.



I spent the better part of the next three days in the bathroom as my stomach decided to stage a protest of all things swallowed. I could take a single bite of bread, or rice, and not 3 minutes later, it would somehow trigger my body to anally expel whatever it could.



I had what I could only classify as anal dry heaves. Like when you drink and puke so much, nothing at all comes out. Expect this was my ass.

Ravos, The Taco Squirrel 695 8
08/16/2005 02:55 PM

and right before that came the explosive diarrhea, right?

TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/16/2005 03:19 PM

Well there was this time I took this really huge disgusting Shakespeare and decided to take a picture of it and post it on the inter--





Lambie, just be thankful that you hadn't decided to visit Ringworm the day that happened.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/16/2005 03:20 PM

Well there was this time I took this really huge disgusting Shakespeare and decided to take a picture of it and post it on the inter--





Lambie, just be thankful that you hadn't decided to visit Ringworm the day that happened.

Although I can promise that Donk will NEVER forget that visit to Longview.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/16/2005 03:29 PM

Aw, Frost.

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
08/16/2005 03:30 PM

Can't call method "prepare" on an undefined value at lib/gab.pl line 261.



For help, please send mail to the webmaster (jay@zug.com), giving this error message and the time and date of the error.



Jay........... "YOU'RE FIRED

TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/16/2005 03:32 PM

Whatever you do, JK, do encourage John to smite you.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/16/2005 03:32 PM

Whatever you do, JK, don't encourage John to smite you.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/16/2005 03:34 PM

Aw, Frost!

gorcerella 41,132 13
08/16/2005 03:58 PM

Youe were right the first time, Jane.

gorcerella 41,132 13
08/16/2005 04:00 PM

That 'e' is supposed to give my post either an Irish or Scottish flair.

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
08/22/2005 05:29 PM

ONO........ the "fake" JK is playing with himself again!!

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
08/22/2005 05:31 PM

One must be leading a very boring life to make believe he/she is me?