Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/17/2005 12:14 AM

The same thing he said goes for johnnykielbasa2000.

Fratberry 282,940 53
08/17/2005 12:17 AM

<action>grabs deposit slips, fuzzy socks, leftover shag carpet, writes letter to Errol notifying him of meeting in Mexico</action>

Errol 10,584 9
08/17/2005 12:19 AM

Yeah, that guy makes me want to stomp on kittens too.

Fratberry 282,940 53
08/17/2005 12:19 AM

NOOOOooooooooo!!!

Janice 181,790 70
08/17/2005 12:23 AM

Well Errol, may as well make yourself useful and come over here and help me take care of my field mice problem



Thenk I'll show you something else cute. Not so furry. You might want to hit it. With a stick. Over and over again.

eeboney 372 8
08/17/2005 12:52 AM

Something like



Repetitive motion syndrome.



















Are there drugs for that 'problem'?

Livewire the Kelly Girl 78,229 13
08/17/2005 01:08 AM

No, I'll vouch for johnnykielbasa. He'll get better.



Hartman Twins, however, needs to be inserted headfirst into the anus of an elephant.

Captain Dan 44,452 11
08/17/2005 01:53 AM

I usually withhold judgment on new posters for a month.



See, they won't be any funnier, but they'll at least start to hone their humor to Gab by making puppy-stabbing jokes and threads about injecting HIV into the bloodstream of Aimless's 6 month old fetus.



Give them time.

Errol 10,584 9
08/17/2005 03:47 AM

It's funny because I'm saying what everyone is thinking.

Armored 3,923 8
08/17/2005 03:56 AM

Not all us noobs are utter morons.



p.s.

I stabbed a beagle this morning.

Feckoff 2,552 9
08/17/2005 06:54 AM

Was it George Harrison?





I'm presuming you made a typo.

Cruising for a Boozing 9,993 12
08/17/2005 07:35 AM

Was it George Harrison?



Paul Mcartney owns a house about 15 miles from where my mother lives, its just outside a quaint little fishing villiage called Rye. Its pretty much ur standard Victorian affair, narrow streets, terraced houses and eccentric locals.



No problem with this really, but ever since he remarried I've been plagued by a nagging fear that his new wife, the bionic Heather Mills, stalks innocent tourists in the midnight hour, dragging her prosthetic leg behind her a la some classic horror by Arthur Conan Doyle.



You know, the 19th Century Setting, The disfigured second wife of a musician and several disappering visitors each month. It just souns too similar.



*clink-draaaaaaag .... clink-draaaaaaag*

La Petite Mort de TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/17/2005 10:24 AM

This is another example of newb-hating on GAB. If someone well liked here had made that post that Cruising did, it would probably be close to full.





*clink-draaaaaaag .... clink-draaaaaaag*

HartmanTwins 10,131 10
08/17/2005 10:50 AM

Dear Errol,

Wow! I'm flattered. A whole thread dedicated to me. If only my father had paid that much attention to me, I'd be apart of the "Hartman Quadruplets" instead of being the proud owner of a double homicide charge (pending conviction.) How in the world I managed to piss you off so badly, I do not know. What I do know, however, is that, although I find you funny, I really don't give a flying Frost what you think of me or my post. I try and start post that I think are funny. I try and contribute to the community. My efforts are genuine. I read GAB at home and at work. I'm constantly reading and laughing at the post on this site, even the post of those that hate me, sometimes especially so. If you consider how many hours I spend reading this site, the number of threads I post are relatively minimal.



You mentioned you were wasting "precious minutes" of your life. Now, I don't know how old you are, but I can say that my minutes are far from precious. I have all the time in the world. My only "precious minutes" are those I spend trying not to climax too soon. On the other hand, if I make it to a minute, I'm pretty happy.



I would suggest that you just bypass my threads and post altogether, but I doubt that would help. Obviously, that logic has escaped you.



As for killing something "cute, furry and cuddly", please start with my ex girlfriend.



HartmanTwins

Erika the killjoy 76,152 9
08/17/2005 11:00 AM

I really don't give a flying Frost what you think of me or my post. I try and start post that I think are funny...I'm constantly reading and laughing at the post on this site, even the post of those that hate me, sometimes especially so. If you consider how many hours I spend reading this site, the number of threads I post are relatively minimal.





Um, Mr. Hartman, you do know that "post" isn't one of those words that doesn't have a plural, like chalk or bison, don't you? It's posts, out posts are hilarious, you Frosttard.

HartmanTwins 10,131 10
08/17/2005 11:19 AM

Yes, Erika. Once again, you're right there with the hammer while I present my balls. Omitting the letter "S" makes me a Frosttard whereas starting a thread to vesectomize someone is funnier than Carlin on crack cocaine laced with heroine byproducts.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
08/17/2005 11:21 AM

What the nephewrape is going on in here?!

Oliverius Chesticus XIV 203,475 12
08/17/2005 11:30 AM

<action> stares at monitor in utter disbelief.



No, I'll vouch for johnnykielbasa. He'll get better.



I...I don't even know you anymore, Livewire.

Phuc 237,919 21
08/17/2005 11:33 AM

People! Please! N00b-bashing, while most often justified (most especially in this case) draws attention away from the fight with the real enemy of funny.

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
08/17/2005 11:42 AM

For Kelly I'd even stick my head up OC's ass.

HartmanTwins 10,131 10
08/17/2005 11:47 AM

I'll do it for free, if OC waxes his ass.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
08/17/2005 11:49 AM

That was funny.





But I'm guessing it was an accident.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
08/17/2005 12:00 PM

For some reason, everytime I read a thread started by the Hartman Twins, I get to the end of "their" post, and my brain immediately and automatically says, "I'm here all week, try the veal."

HartmanTwins 10,131 10
08/17/2005 12:12 PM

All my accidents are funny.





CG, I'll take that as a compliment wrapped in adoration.















Try the veal and tip your Frost-ing waitress.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
08/17/2005 12:14 PM

Yep, I was right.

Millie 116,988 28
08/17/2005 12:18 PM

Are the Hartman Twins one person or two?



If there are two, do they collaborate when they post, like, both sit in front of the keyboard and confer and decide what to post, to do they post alternatively?



Sometimes they are funny, but if it's two people, they should be twice as funny.



Then again, two many cooks spoil the broth.



I like Johnny now that I've seen his art. Even though he called me fugly.

HartmanTwins 10,131 10
08/17/2005 12:28 PM

If johnny can get love, I won't be discouraged.

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
08/17/2005 03:34 PM

johnny feels loved even when he's being flushed down the toilet

Livewire the Kelly Girl 78,229 13
08/17/2005 03:36 PM

Hmmm. I may have been too hasty with Hartman as well. I detect proper grammar and punctuation and a sense of humour. Those are the vital ingredients.



I thought the previous posts were devoid of humour. Maybe I was just being cranky. However, was your account previously hacked by a gang of mentally retarded chimpanzees by any chance?

HartmanTwins 10,131 10
08/17/2005 03:44 PM

I don't know why, but I'm sure it has something to do with your childhood.

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
08/17/2005 03:50 PM

awwwwwwwwwwwwww TTOT :)

HartmanTwins 10,131 10
08/17/2005 03:57 PM

However, was your account previously hacked by a gang of mentally retarded chimpanzees by any chance?



Chimpanzees? Yes. Mentally retarded? I... don't really know. Is a chimp mentally retarded when he manually removes his feces, or does he only gain that title when he reinserts said feces anally?

Deepan the Paranoid Android 2,042 8
08/17/2005 04:10 PM

Open letters stopped being funny when Terri died, and when my letter to her offering a cure to all-out brain damage came a day late.