S. Kake 55,555 14
08/29/2005 05:39 PM

What areas have you been to? The whole southern section isn't quite developed yet.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
08/29/2005 05:42 PM

Anybody take you Snipe hunting yet?



That's some fun Shakespeare.

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
08/29/2005 05:43 PM

Also, around my area, we have drive-thru liquor stores.



Goddamn, America is a wonderous place.

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
08/29/2005 05:43 PM

<action>comes up for air</action>



It's being washed right now.

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
08/29/2005 05:46 PM

can you hunt snipe without a blowgun?



Oops, I just remembered. Snipe has been added to endangered specie list.

Two levels below Sinapkin.

PeeWee 4,624 8
08/29/2005 05:49 PM

Have you learnt we don't like forgeigners?



*spits tabaccy, hoists up his pants, adjusts his dinner plate-beltbuckle, lovingly strokes his six-shooter*

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
08/29/2005 05:53 PM

Have any of you learned that, unless you're Huck Finn, learnt is an obsolete spelling of the word?

PeeWee 4,624 8
08/29/2005 05:55 PM

<action>shoots Mr. Sir in the foot</action>

I don't like yer sassin' boy.



Now DANCE!

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
08/29/2005 05:57 PM

<action> kicks Peewee in the nuts</action>



YOU dance, douchenozzle.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
08/29/2005 05:58 PM

I've also learnt that once the Miller lite girls realise you're Australian you can get free t-shirts and other crap even though you're not drinking Miller lite.

jepreport - premature articulator 58,758 13
08/29/2005 06:01 PM

That's because they like you and would like you to follow them to the dark side of the parking lot. You should go, I hear its a blast. And send pictures.



Lots.Of.Pictures.

PeeWee 4,624 8
08/29/2005 06:03 PM

Mr. Sir kicks Peewee in the nuts



Ow! My friends! My only friends!

Fratberry 282,940 53
08/29/2005 06:16 PM

<action>checks pants</action>

The whole southern section isn't quite developed yet.



MINE IS!

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
08/29/2005 06:16 PM

Don't be a dick, Dick.





I've already mentioned in another thread that I thought PeeWee was starting off well.



It's called banter, numbnuts.

Phuc 237,919 21
08/29/2005 06:51 PM

Een Amereeka, we play knifey-spooney with guns.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
08/29/2005 07:35 PM

I haven't gone out of the Augusta area and it's not looking like I'll be going further than Atlanta or the SC border.

That's ok though because hotels here are fun once you find the closet full of blood stained linen!

Trae's Napkin on her lap 156,790 17
08/29/2005 08:34 PM

Georgia really isn't a good representation of America, dear. I got your vmails and left you an offline message.

PeeWee 4,624 8
08/29/2005 08:53 PM

I got your vmails and left you an offline message.



Is this Trae speak for I'm blowing you off like Katrina on New Orleans?

Trae's Napkin on her lap 156,790 17
08/29/2005 09:21 PM

Shut it, n00b.

Armored 3,923 8
08/29/2005 10:06 PM

Tell me you only ordered Fosters.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
08/29/2005 10:17 PM

Tell me you only ordered Fosters.



No. But I did order Fosters at Hooters!

Armored 3,923 8
08/29/2005 10:17 PM

YES! Victory!

Chickens with Salmonella 286,527 61
08/30/2005 07:50 AM

yeah, but how bout that American penis. You're loving the American penis aren't you. Yeah, I thought so.



SO SHUT UP GRUB EATER.

jepreport - premature articulator 58,758 13
08/30/2005 09:47 AM

Things I learned in Australia:



1. It IS possible to sprain your liver.

2. An invitation to "Cross Swords" is not necessarily a suggestion to take up fencing in the conventional sense that we know it. Unless I have been missing the part at the end where they try to beat each other to death with their penises.

3. If you ask someone if they want to "smoke a bong" in Oz, you may be suggesting that they set an aborigine on fire.

4. If you want a Whopper, you can find one at Hungry Jack's.

5. Though the meat pies rock, Australian cuisine is generally bland. Their idea of spicy seems to lie somewhere between Alfredo sauce and carbonated water.

6. Kangaroo hamburgers are the bomb.

7. So is the beer.

8. In general Australians seem to really like Americans.

9. In general, they seem to hate everyone else.

10. The girls are awesome and seem to really like Americans. Their accent starts out incredibly cool, making them sound like Olivia Newton John but after a few drinks they sound eerily similar to slurring pirates (which helps out with this little fetish of mine).

Phuc 237,919 21
08/30/2005 10:01 AM

Let's kill Rick Steves and replace him with Jep.

theduceofhazard 80 8
08/30/2005 10:57 AM

Jepreport, I salute you!

jepreport - premature articulator 58,758 13
08/30/2005 11:05 AM

I could SO do that job.



JEP's itinerary to the Philippines (Day 2):



11:00:



Reveille. Guests are shaken out of deep sleep by being doused with bucket of warm ox piss. Adrenaline rush drives away headache and drowsiness, putrid stench sends any bar girl insane enough to stay the entire night fleeing naked from the hotel into the throng of humanity occupying the street below.



12:00



Hair o' Da Dog Breakfast. Six bottles of San Miguel beer, two pitchers of Bullfrog, one plate of leftover lumpia, fermented from lying out on the table in tropical heat all night.



1:00



Afternoon spent on Belloy Beach outside of Subic bay, sweating out alcoholic toxins interrupted by occasional cleansing dips in ocean to watch Filipino boatmen dynamite fishing on nearby reef. Chunks of coral shrapnel can be bought from returning fishermen or surgically removed from those with front row seats of the sub-atomic angling extravaganza.



5:00



Exercise Time. Quick trip to Taquomenan (sp?) to savagely beat up pedophilic sex tourists exiting under-aged houses of ill repute. Followed by two-mile long forced sprint through the jungle ahead of pursuing corrupt policemen whose luxury lifestyle depends upon kickbacks from said houses of ill repute.



7:00



Dinner. More lumpia, Bellut (for *ahem* stamina), and Bagloong (natural laxative). Lots of Red Horse beer.

jepreport - premature articulator 58,758 13
08/30/2005 11:06 AM

8:30



Clubbing through Olongapo red light districts.



12:00am



Return to hotel with beautiful bronzed bargirls. Host provides photographic services for ensuing shenanigans and will provide high quality proofs to guests for as little as $5.00 per shot. Host will keep wife from seeing them for an additional $15 per shot and will keep all of them off of the internet for a flat $2500 charge.



2:00 am.



Projectile Poop-a-Palooza. As bagloong takes effect, guests will be invited to drop trou and line the balcony for Shakespeare shooting tournament. Contestants will have the opportunity to earn prizes based upon amount of fecal material hurtled into the street below, distance it traveled and amount of social grace the contestant is able to maintain during the turd toss. Contest will be judged by native pedestrians who should were not smart enough to know that they should not be out walking around so late at night in that particular part of town.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
08/30/2005 02:13 PM

yeah, but how bout that American penis



I wasn't going to mention it but seeing as you brought it up.........

yes I have met a lot of real dicks here.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
08/31/2005 03:56 PM

I take back every rude , insulting , derogatory comment I ever made about America.

This place is Frost-ing awesome - I just bought a pair of SIZE 4 jeans!

Oliver Chesticles 203,475 12
08/31/2005 04:11 PM

Have you learned how to use the three shells yet?

Wildchild72 52 7
11/23/2005 09:37 PM

Oh Yes... A certain Mr Foye has told me a few things about Aussiesarah.. he says you wouldn't be able to cross the road WITH adult supervision or find the right or the wrong side of the car for that matter as you were always tanked to the max in the US!



I bet she's met plenty of dicks in Aus too for that matta!

AussieSarah 8,390 9
11/23/2005 09:47 PM

Wildchild



Listen hear you little slut. TheFoye! wouldn't touch your skanky crab eaten Poe if his life depended on.

Frost off and go play in fast moving traffic.



Aussie

Miracles Gets the Wishbone 22,430 0
11/23/2005 09:59 PM

<action>taps Sarah on the shoulder</action>



Hey. You spelled Foye! wrong.



It's Foye!

AussieSarah 8,390 9
11/23/2005 10:02 PM

No. It's TheFoye! !

Miracles Gets the Wishbone 22,430 0
11/23/2005 10:03 PM

That's right!



When the hell is he coming back?

AussieSarah 8,390 9
11/23/2005 10:10 PM

He finishs school in about 2 weeks.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
11/23/2005 10:15 PM

Which means I should be receiving his dirty laundry in via courier in about 3 weeks.

Wildchild72 52 7
11/23/2005 10:24 PM

Is that so????

Hmmm... I somehow don't think your husband in Auz is going to like The Foye sending his laudry to you to do! Hehe... and if you honestly believe ol' Foye is behavin himself wif you on da other side of the world Ya dreamin!



He's already had my "Poe" and he was prety plesed with it too hey!



Comin bak to the US anytime soon? I'd love to hook up!

AussieSarah 8,390 9
11/23/2005 10:32 PM

Listen you fat mother-Frosting Coleridgesucking whore , get your facts right before you go opening that cum bucket of a mouth of yours.

I have an EX husband and he knows all about TheFoye! and I.

Wildchild72 52 7
11/23/2005 10:35 PM

Harsh words!

I bet da Foye dont know you were sleepin wif other guys for money in da Us???

SuGarD - Corned Beef & GABbage 2,724 8
11/23/2005 10:39 PM

Georgia's not that bad. True, every state has it's own subculture, but Georgia retains some of that hospitality common to most territories in which the British displaced the indigenous population.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
11/23/2005 10:43 PM

Of course he did - He was flat broke by the time I left.

Fratberry 282,940 53
11/23/2005 10:46 PM

She wasn't really in Georgia. She was in Augusta. We Georgians only claim it one week of the year in early April. The rest of the time its a festering Shakespearehole.

Wildchild72 52 7
11/23/2005 10:55 PM

No wonder da poor guy was broke by da time ya left.. he was probably payin those guys to so he could get rid of ya! hahahahahaha

McRib, tearing down your blue skies 13,155 9
11/23/2005 10:59 PM

Wy do yoo tauk lyke a fukking idiot?

Humphrey B Bromidic 51,764 12
11/23/2005 11:25 PM

I theenk shees goot fut fiingerss