Fratberry 282,940 53
09/01/2005 05:15 PM

Could you beanymoregay?

Jilly 24,693 8
09/01/2005 05:16 PM

Do you frequent message boards?

Cause we dont want no cyberfreaks up in here.

Erika the killjoy 76,152 9
09/01/2005 05:16 PM

If it's a girl:



"What are your thoughts on 'Naked Thursdays?'"



"How often do you and your friends have pillow fights?"

The Debonaire Dr. Duh 24,152 8
09/01/2005 05:17 PM

Do you intend to pay rent?

HartmanTwins 10,131 10
09/01/2005 05:18 PM

You mean to say there's actually a thread that's not talking about Katrina?



Thank God!













Ask them what they think of Hurricane Katrina.

HartmanTwins 10,131 10
09/01/2005 05:19 PM

If it's a girl



Why does it matter if it's a girl?

Erika the killjoy 76,152 9
09/01/2005 05:20 PM

"Do you have any adorable young nieces who may come over to do their homework in their Catholic school uniforms?"

Oliver Chesticles 203,475 12
09/01/2005 05:21 PM

Could you beanymoregay?



You would be the one to know.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
09/01/2005 05:22 PM

Could you beanymoregay?



Yes. He could trade in Madison for a Shakespeareload of Cats.

Erika the killjoy 76,152 9
09/01/2005 05:23 PM

BURRRRRRRRRRRN!!!11!0!

Fratberry 282,940 53
09/01/2005 05:26 PM

HEY I HAVE A WIFE TOO YOU KNoh Frost it he's right.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/01/2005 05:29 PM

A house that clean with two guys living in it--you're gonna get a lotta pillow-biters a'calling!

Mr. Sir 66,722 9
09/01/2005 05:32 PM

That's a nice looking place, Ollie.



</serious>





I would ask how they feel about anal. You can really tell a lot about a person by what they're willing to put in their ass.

Oliver Chesticles 203,475 12
09/01/2005 05:33 PM

All the stuff in those pictures aren't ours.



Ian's parents just bought the place, and it is still being lived in be the current owners until the end of the month. Those are the pictures they used to list the home.



But we have nice stuff too. I've got 3 bean bag chairs, and some plywood being held up by 4 milk crates, niggah.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/01/2005 05:35 PM

You can get free milk crates at the service entrances of schools.



You're back there anyway--why not take a look?

Oliver Chesticles 203,475 12
09/01/2005 05:42 PM

Ok then. Does anyone have any serious questions?



The questions I can think of off the top of my head:



Why are you moving?



Do you have gainful employment?



Have you ever been arrested?



If so, why?



Where is your family from?



Do you poop with the bathroom door open?



If so, can I sit and watch?



Anyone have anything else to add?

Fratberry 282,940 53
09/01/2005 05:44 PM

"Do you have any problem with our belief that three men do, in fact, form a circle?"

Oliver Chesticles 203,475 12
09/01/2005 05:47 PM

Once again, GAB has proven to be completely and utterly useless.



Thank you for your cooperation.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/01/2005 05:51 PM

Don't ask where the fambly's from. They might sue you.



Are you allergic to dogs?

Cast iron--how do you waShakespeare, bitch?

Ramen--chicken, shrimp, or "oriental" flavor?

Flavor--spell it with or without a u?

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
09/01/2005 05:53 PM

Flavor--spell it with or without a u?



Haha. I hate you.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/01/2005 05:54 PM

Once again, GAB has proven to be completely and utterly useless.



Yeah. It's not like back in the day, like when y'all helped me build that barn.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
09/01/2005 05:56 PM

We need to come up with a slang term, much like "Tubgirl'd" and "Goatse'd", To explain people that come to Gab in need of Advice.

Oliver Chesticles 203,475 12
09/01/2005 05:56 PM

You didn't ask. And since when did Asian people need barns? Rice doesn't take up that much space.

Lupience ate Uncle Pie 26,981 11
09/01/2005 06:01 PM

What hours do you work?

(To see if his home time will clash with your sleeping time)

If he/she has had roomates before, ask what worked & didn't work about living together.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/01/2005 06:01 PM

Wooks wike widdle Jonny woke up on the wrong side of beddie!



You didn't get the joke. Ten points from Hufflepuff.

Prof. Fantabulous 19,711 13
09/01/2005 06:02 PM

What is you schedule (time of day will you be slamming the front door, frying fish in the kitchen, washing you clothes)?



If a train is leaving New York, travelling at 85 mph....

Prof. Fantabulous 19,711 13
09/01/2005 06:03 PM

How is your spelling and grammar?

Oliver Chesticles 203,475 12
09/01/2005 06:05 PM

Hufflepuff? HUFFLEPUFF??



Phuc, I thought we were friends.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/01/2005 06:07 PM

Here's your advice, you ungrateful slacka:



Don't ask anything that some Emerson could come back and sue you with, like anything to do with race or handicap or any of that Shakespeare.



Do carefully ask questions that would give you an idea of the prospective tennant's ability to pay rent on time.



Like, "How much of that blood-donation money do you spend on abortions for your sister, Cletus?"

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
09/01/2005 06:08 PM

You just don't know how to advertise for a roommate.

Lupience ate Uncle Pie 26,981 11
09/01/2005 06:12 PM

Watch the movie 'Pacific Heights' That will clue you in.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/01/2005 06:14 PM

Phuc, I thought we were friends.



I'm sorry.



I'll put in a good word with Snape for you.

The Power of Briham Compels You! 38,843 10
09/01/2005 07:15 PM

Are they messy and/or mind if you guys are messy?

How frequently will they invite people over/throw parties?

Have they ever had roommates before (maybe you could even call some up for info on the prospective roommate)? You want someone who is able to live with other people.

Do they play music loudly?

Do they wake up early/go to bed late?

Whistler P. McManus 186,041 44
09/01/2005 08:23 PM

Ask them the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies.



If they give the right answer, they're in!

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
09/01/2005 08:49 PM

I'm looking for a new place Ollie. I'm recently evicted from Zug Akers.

I've never been arrested.

What's a bathroom?

I am not employed, but I have lots of money.

My family now lives on an island in New Orleans.

hairy stool 1,370 9
09/02/2005 12:03 AM

You have to find out if they and/or their friends a musicians. You don't want to be falling asleep only to find out they play the bagpipes.



Interpret that however you like.

Benjamin Coffin, III 131,877 36
09/02/2005 12:46 AM

Learn how to say with a straight face: "Rent, my amigos is due, or I will have to evict you!"

Frogpop 173,153 25
09/02/2005 02:22 AM

Diana showed me your ad last night, I was muchly jealous. That's a sweet house dude.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/02/2005 07:34 AM

Yeah, and $500-something. Up here, that'd buy you a closet with a toilet. And the toilet wouldn't even flush.



At least it rains all the time out there. That makes me feel a little better.

Cruz FB 9,993 12
09/02/2005 08:11 AM

You may or may not be approached by persons of an eastern extraction looking to gain suburban accomodation in a wealthy area of an American city. These people are more than likely planning to cause chaos in your country by blowing up parts of it circa New York and London. As a result I've prepared a few security questions and responses that'll make sure that you aren't cited as an accesory to terrorism



"What's in the back pack ?"



"You were just visiting Guantanemo Bay, right ?"



"Sorry I don't have a bus timetable"



"Well you certainly don't look Mexican"



And if, by the end of the interview, the subject is becoming irratible and clutching his Qu'uran tightly you should finish off by saying



"Listen if you don't like the pink decor then it's probably best you live elsewhere"



America: 1, Terrorists: 0

Frogpop 173,153 25
09/02/2005 10:04 AM

"circa"?

Jilly 24,693 8
09/02/2005 10:11 AM

Goatse'd

arrrghhhh... flashbacks!!!! no. image... still.. haunting...open...anus

...can't...breathe

curling

into

little

ball

rocking

back

and

forth

Oliver Chesticles 203,475 12
09/02/2005 12:28 PM

Diana showed me your ad last night, I was muchly jealous. That's a sweet house dude.



Thanks man. Now do me a favor and stop talking to my bitches.

MaddMatt -Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
09/02/2005 12:32 PM

"Do you sleep on your stomach, or your back?"



"How much are your parents worth?"



"Do you know the difference between a blow job and a utility bill?"



"How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?"



"Can you take a joke? And, if so, how deep?"

Frogpop 173,153 25
09/02/2005 12:42 PM

She wanted me to move in with you, but I knew you'd just turn me out.