Miracles - Vlaccid Artist Relations 22,430 0
09/21/2005 05:34 PM

I know something that would cheer you up...



You never had an abortion posted all over the internet.



Keep your chin up!

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
09/21/2005 05:35 PM

I'm changing my Name...........



Let's Dropkick Johnny

Dead Robot 67,630 16
09/21/2005 05:39 PM

The hex code for "mint cream" is #f5fffa

Mandi 167 7
09/21/2005 05:40 PM

So a guy walks into the hospital and he is talking to the surgeon. "I'd like to be castrated, doc." The docter replies, "You do realize what this will do to you right? You know you won't be able to have kids, right?" The man just nods his head and replies gravely, "I know. I've read all about this surgery and I really want it done."

The docter is convinced that this is really what this guy wants, so they go about the surgery. The next week, the guy is walking bow-legged down the hospital hallway when he passes another guy doing the same walk. The guy says,"Ah, you got the same surgery done as I did, huh?" The other guy nods and says, "You got a circumsision too?" The first guy goes, "Circumsision! That's what it's called!"

Squisher 117 7
09/21/2005 05:42 PM

What do you call Gumby after he runs a marathon?





Clay Akin!

Nachos 57,521 23
09/21/2005 05:43 PM

Brody,



Just remember...no matter how bad life gets...



You beat us at the football.



Cheers...now I'M going to cry...

Squisher 117 7
09/21/2005 05:44 PM

Oh Frost in the butt, i mean Clay Aiken...



..as if anyone was concerned...

supergrover 4,517 9
09/21/2005 05:45 PM

You know what always makes me feel better? Killing hobos. Nobody misses them, and it makes me happy. In fact, I'm gonna go kill one right now.

Loozur 139 7
09/21/2005 05:47 PM

Chin up, kid. Things could be worse.























































...you could be me.

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
09/21/2005 05:47 PM

There once was a girl from Venus;

who's head was shaped like aDATA!

Mandi 167 7
09/21/2005 05:47 PM

How many PMSing girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



Three. IT JUST DOES, OK?!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
09/21/2005 05:49 PM

Grover,



Steal his underwear for me.



I like to wear it when I want to feel sexy.











What?

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
09/21/2005 05:49 PM

Most of the time, it's the simple things of life that are most likely to cheer you up, like the mailman showing up with a letter for you. And guess what, I have a letter for you:





G

MaddMatt -Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
09/21/2005 05:52 PM

This cheered me up before;





dropkick brody Side-splitting

6/02/2005 4:22 pm



I did a reverse donkey call too.



I just phoned up my friend and yelled YEKNOD!

Bonky 75,733 15
09/21/2005 05:52 PM

Brody, Brody, Brody. Torani is discontinuing Chocolate Milano flavored syrups, but I'm buying a whole case!









I wore deodorant today.

Mandi 167 7
09/21/2005 05:54 PM

My favorite horribly awful joke:



What did the blind, deaf kid get for Christmas?

CANCER!



What did he get for his birthday?

Oh, nothing. He was dead by then.

supergrover 4,517 9
09/21/2005 05:57 PM

Now all I can do is picture the scene from American Psycho were Christian Bale is holding a stray kitten in front of an ATM. Suddenly the ATM screen lights up with the words, "FEED ME A KITTEN."

Loozur 139 7
09/21/2005 05:57 PM

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?





None. It should be open by the time she brings it to me.

Squisher 117 7
09/21/2005 05:58 PM

I went to the record store today and bought some records for cheap, but I had to take one of them back. Why?



It was Baroque!



Yay music humor.

Loozur 139 7
09/21/2005 05:58 PM

How many women does it take to open a bottle of beer?





One, if she knows what's good for her!

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
09/21/2005 05:59 PM

Mandi is a sick Bitch.............. welcome to ZUG

dropkick brody 43,090 12
09/21/2005 05:59 PM

I love gab tonight. Thank you ALL.



And Nachos... that win will make me feel so good forever!



It was right by my house too, I could hear the cheers from here. Good times.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
09/21/2005 06:01 PM

My personal favorite 'How many...' joke is:



How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?



Who Frost-ing cares? let him cry in the dark.

Nachos 57,521 23
09/21/2005 06:02 PM

It was right by my house too, I could hear the cheers from here



I'm suprised you couldn't hear the wailing from my house...I'm sure we broke a few windows with the volume...

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
09/21/2005 06:04 PM

How many fluorescent sombreros does it take to lite up a Taco?



Figure out PI

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
09/21/2005 06:06 PM

I'll have to find Ravos, The Taco Squirrel (A n00b who isnt annoying, therefore is cool in my book) to go find me a Taco.



Then we'll see.





Oh yes, We will!

turtle10 42,578 26
09/21/2005 06:10 PM

What do you say to a women with 2 black eyes?





NOTHING, you already had to tell her twice.

Carnite 1,300 9
09/21/2005 06:12 PM

There's a girl standing on top of a cliff weeping hysterically. A passer-by comes up to her to ask what's wrong. The girl, between sobs, manages to tell him that she has just watched a car with her parents in go over the cliff, obviousley killing them both. The man pats her on the shoulder consolingly and then begins to undo his belt. Alarmed the girl asks "what are you doing?" the man replies "it's just not your day is it?"

The Mofopotamus 10,950 10
09/21/2005 06:25 PM

So a man walks into a clock shop to get his watch repaired. But when he sees the girl working the counter is really hot, he unzips his pants and lays his johnson on the counter.



"What do you think you're doing! This is a clock shop!", The girl yells.



The looks at her and says, "Exactly. I wanted to see if I could get two hands and a face put on this."

dropkick brody 43,090 12
09/21/2005 06:31 PM

Hat, have you heard the song, Emo Kid?



I'm an emo kid, non conforming as can be,

You'd be non conforming too, if you looked just like me.

...

I have no real problems, but i like to make believe,

I stole my sister's mascara and now I'm grounded for a week.



Cheers me up a little.

Podge 56 7
09/21/2005 06:32 PM

True story! Right, there's this agressive bum who prowled the streets of my city asking for money. I mean, this guy was notorious for hassling, cursing and even gettting physical with people who didn't have "two quid for the night shelter". He even had a nickname, something appropriate for his balshy, brazen, generally bum-like behaviour... but I can't remember what it was. Anyway, for the sake of GAB, let's just call him turkey.



So one night I'm going into town with my mates, and who do you think sighted us up as easy pickings while he was doing the rounds? That's right, ol' turkey. He waltzes over and he must have fancied Jack as a nice feller 'cause he homed in on him straight away. "Got two quid for the night shelter, mate?" He asked surprisingly politely, though he came in close at the same time. Well, his benevolence radar rang true and Jack immediately pulled out his wallet to be of assistance.



"Sorry, I've only got this twenty pound note... I don't think I can help you out." Jack reasoned with the smelly tramp. Now we were all expecting turkey to go off on one and start gettin' crazy and all, but he surprised everybody: "That's alright mate - Hold on, I'll get you change".

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
09/21/2005 06:36 PM

Um. No.



Is it an EMO song? if so..



Then Yeah, I probably have..





My favorite, addressing the topic, Is by Fall Out Boy.



This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters,

But it must be said again that all us boys are just screaming-

Into microphones for attention

Because we're just so bored

We never knew that you would pick it apart

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
09/21/2005 06:37 PM

Anyways, Song lyrics on GAB is Gay! (Sorry TTJ)



I just thought I'd post it because its as True as can be.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
09/21/2005 06:43 PM

It's a song, called Emo Kid. But I cannot find the lyrics for it anywhere.



And doing a search for it picks up the most pathetic messgae boards where users have names like Emo_Kid. Urgh, emo.



Although... I kind of like The Used a little tiny bit, despite myself.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
09/21/2005 06:45 PM

I listen to all sorts of that Shakespeare.



I could care less about the EMO stereotype, Its just the same as it has been in the past.

Skid, Wigger, Thug, Punk, Etc. and so on.



I prefer lyrics that provoke thought and are composed using some sort of compassion and creativity.



Meh!

91,274 10
09/21/2005 06:50 PM

And Frost you for not doing it sooner!

1,300 9
09/21/2005 06:53 PM

I don't bereveave. (or believe).

dropkick brody 43,090 12
09/21/2005 07:03 PM

Nanight lovely helpful funny GABbers.



You all rock one's undergarments.