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Note: I posted this story a bit earlier, but it looks like the boogeyman ate my thread. So I'm posting it again.
It was late this afternoon at the office, after most of the people had gone home. The office floor had become pretty silent: no more phones ringing, no more people chatting in the corridors. It would have been an ideal work atmosphere, the kind I like when I need to get a few things done, if only this one guy sitting in a cubicule close to mine had not been there.
The guy must had recently caught a cold or something, and he had been making loud snorting noises for almost an hour. It was not only disturbing, it was gross. Not once did he get the idea of grabbing a tissue to do a little housecleaning. I knew that there was a box of tissues in the cubicule right behind him, which made his constant snorting even more frustrating.
I wanted to give him a subtle hint that I wasn't much interested in knowing how much mucus he had accumulated in his nasal orifices. So I stood up, walked through the little cubicule maze, arrived at the desk behind the guy, grabbed a tissue from the box, and proceeded to blow my nose in it while I walked back to my seat, although I had no need for a tissue.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
6 votes
5.0
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Hilarious
9 votes
4.7
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The Mailman, workal poster 130,735  14
09/23/2005 08:11 AM
Apparently, I had been too subtle, because he did not get the message. He went on with the snorting, and it was really starting to get on my nerves. I stood up again, went for a second tissue and repeated the same operation, except this time, I stayed right by Snorty McSnort's desk while I blew my (dry) nose.
No improvement. Obviously, the guy wasn't the sharpest spoon in the drawer, so I decided that the subtlety of the message was not that important after all. It just had to stop. The guy kept on snorting, and some of his snorts being louder than others. So I patiently waited until he let out a real loud and juicy one. It came after a few minutes.
- SNORRRRRTTT!!!!
I immediately echoed with a loud and juicy slurping sound.
- SLUUUURRRRPPPPPPP!!!!
I heard a laugh. Then, complete silence.
The guy had just shot a truckload of snot on his keyboard. Problem solved.
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.4
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Squisher 117 5
09/23/2005 08:14 AM
Like some wonderful nose-orgasm.
A nosgasm, if you will.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1291629
The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 130,735 14
09/23/2005 07:29 PM
Snorty McSnort is back at work this morning, and just like yesterday, he's doing his wild boar impression every ten seconds. I don't want to do the slurping echo again, because there are more people around than yesterday afternoon.
Any suggestions on how to make him stop?
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1291635
Jilly 24,640 6
09/23/2005 07:33 PM
We have a guy with the "itchy throaght"
He makes a pig noise in his throat to "itch the scratch" (his words, not mine, thank God.)
I use a different technique...
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0 votes
0.0
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johnnykielbasa2000 15,686 0
09/23/2005 07:35 PM
dang clickie whore
(you owe me a quarter millie)
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Side-splitting
2 votes
5.0
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HartmanTwins - GABs token African-American Nigger 10,114 5
09/23/2005 07:43 PM
<action>rushes and stumbles over Jk's body to post.</action>
I use a different technique...
Deepthroating!
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Chit Eating Grin 163,898 10
09/23/2005 07:51 PM
Start an office pool on how long he can go until he swallows the big snot oyster down.
Then upon hearing him sluuuuurp, follow it with everyone making a big clamor and the exchange of money before settling down for the next round.
Seeing as how you spent an entire day alone with him while he suffered these same symptoms, you obviously have an unfair advantage, and him blowing his nose could cost you significantly.
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0 votes
0.0
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Fluorescent Sombrero 90,999 8
09/23/2005 07:56 PM
Crack a tub of Vicks VapoRub and leave it on his desk, right under his face.
Better yet!
Jab your finger into it and then wipe it under his eyes. Ha!
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0 votes
0.0
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Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,287 10
09/23/2005 09:38 PM
Mailman: Find someone from the cleaning staff and ask to borrow a vacuum cleaner. Place the appliance in the perpetrator's cubicle (whether or not he's in there is optional). Attach a note that reads:
Dear Snotty: After many subtle hints to get your to expel your mucous rather than slurp it, I have come to the following conclusion. You are an IDIOT! Therefore, I have arranged for this vaccuum cleaner so that you can suck the slime from your nasal passages and the rest of us in the office will not have to listen to it!
Sincerely,
Mailman
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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The Mailman, workal poster 130,735 14
09/23/2005 11:12 PM
Update:
Apparently I am not the only one who is annoyed by the snorting boar.Two women who work on the floor just came back from their lunch break, and put not one, not two, but three boxes of the tissues on his desk. I can't wait for him to come back from lunch.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Oliver Chest: Vlaccid Boner 201,941 7
09/23/2005 11:20 PM
Write a note to go along with the tissues:
Start using these, or stop eating so much cum.
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