The Nightmare Before Supergrover 4,517 9
10/13/2005 08:28 AM

I wish I could click that more than once. I would say that it's unfair, you getting the clickies for someone else's idea to goatse you, but you had to wake up at 3:22 and make your groggy mind accept what it was seeing.

Something Bankey This Way Comes 70,843 10
10/13/2005 08:31 AM

I'd say free clickies is the least someone deserves for being pulled out of a deep sleep at 3:00 in the morning only to be greeted by a giant gaping Emerson.







Unless you're Trixie of course, then it's probably just Wednesday.

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 08:40 AM

Frankly, I've seen it so many times that 3 am is about the ONLY time it would affect me.

Duhnnie Darko 24,152 8
10/13/2005 08:44 AM

One time I woke up at looked at my alarm clock. It's one of those cheap digital ones with the light up numbers. I looked over at the clock and I just couldn't make sense of the numbers; they looked like japanese characters. I thought I was in the Matrix. Then my eyes slid into focus and I saw it was 4:20 am, so I lit up a doob and puffed my cares away and went back to sleep.

Chit Eating Grin 178,781 15
10/13/2005 08:52 AM

Awwww man , that's just beautiful !





I'm confused though........how do you know for sure it was someone from GAB ?

Jilly 24,693 8
10/13/2005 08:58 AM

that I'm guessing is sort of what Jilly sounds like

HEY!



Chris - call me ... pull a turk.

not till 8amCST, though



we're gonna settle this shat once and for all.

Trae - Now with flying monkeys! 156,790 17
10/13/2005 09:00 AM

I woke up at exactly 3:22am this morning to pee. Weird.



I don't get picture emails so I'm safe from the goatse!

The Fabulous Auntie Trixxie 65,026 15
10/13/2005 09:00 AM

It's probably just the fact that I am a flaming Homosexual, but the thought of two vaginas in one bed just seems so wrong.

nermal-the world's cutest fabulounik 8,478 12
10/13/2005 09:03 AM

So is this the part where if we guess who it was on the first try we get a prize?

Gutted Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
10/13/2005 09:05 AM

I don't get picture emails so I'm safe from the goatse!



I'd be willing to call you at 3:22 a.m. and describe it.

Mummified Chickens with 2000 year old halitosis 286,539 61
10/13/2005 09:08 AM

I was just discussing this subject in bed with Hen this morning over our morning coffee. She asked me what it was about men likeing the idea of two women.



I told her the moral side of me is all about how wrong it must be and all that.



But the carnal side of me is all OHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAh.

Trae - Now with flying monkeys! 156,790 17
10/13/2005 09:08 AM

I will gladly settle for a man calling me at 3:22am to talk about man ass.

Trae - Now with flying monkeys! 156,790 17
10/13/2005 09:12 AM

I was just discussing this subject in bed with Hen this morning over our morning coffee.





Ha! You got laid this morning didn't you? No way you didn't get a chub.

Armored - White Introspective Emo Ranger 3,923 8
10/13/2005 09:13 AM

But the carnal side of me is all OHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAh.



So your carnal side is actually the Kool-Aid Man?

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 09:24 AM

Chris - call me ... pull a turk.

not till 8amCST, though



we're gonna settle this shat once and for all.



Ummm... Jilly? You know I said that, right? And my name isn't Chris?

Clint McSahara HotPants 19,555 11
10/13/2005 09:42 AM

Ummm... Jilly? You know I said that, right? And my name isn't Chris?



Jilly has probably realized that CG is in fact behind all the characters on GAB. It's ok, we don't have to pretend around her anymore.

Mr. Sir. 66,727 9
10/13/2005 09:47 AM

If Chriss is really Ditdah, then that explains what was poking me in the back, in the bed we shared in Boston.





*Vomits all over monitor. Vomits all over desk. Runs to take scalding hot shower with bleach and a wire brush.*

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 09:48 AM

CG can be behind me anytime he wants.

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 09:49 AM

Sorry - the slut in me is coming out again.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/13/2005 09:50 AM

You're pregnant?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/13/2005 09:50 AM

Or is CG's tiny Coleridge falling out?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/13/2005 09:50 AM

5 spoons.

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 09:51 AM

make that 6.

dropkick brody and her Army of Flaming Leprechauns 43,090 12
10/13/2005 09:51 AM

Six!

Something Bankey This Way Comes 70,843 10
10/13/2005 09:51 AM

YAHTZEE!

dropkick brody and her Army of Flaming Leprechauns 43,090 12
10/13/2005 09:52 AM

Timing is hard.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/13/2005 09:59 AM

That's why there are clocks.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/13/2005 09:59 AM

I am so sorry.

<action>reads his last post</action>

Mr. Sir. 66,727 9
10/13/2005 10:00 AM

HAHA!



BIG's apologizing for being mean!





Fag.

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 10:01 AM

No, he's appologizing for being dumb.

Mr. Sir. 66,727 9
10/13/2005 10:01 AM

Oh, my bad.



Carry on, BIG.

dropkick brody and her Army of Flaming Leprechauns 43,090 12
10/13/2005 10:02 AM

I think he was apologising for teh comedy.



Which I thought was funny.



Then again, I also thought a vegetable delivery van called 'Lettuce Deliver' was hilarious.

dropkick brody and her Army of Flaming Leprechauns 43,090 12
10/13/2005 10:03 AM

Lettuce Deliver...



Comedy. Platinum.

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 10:38 AM

Heh - the GF just emailed me asking where she can get the picture. She wants to get some of her co-workers.

Chris Garrett, Naked 86,932 12
10/13/2005 10:42 AM

This is probably the best and easiest place to find it.

Trae - Now with flying monkeys! 156,790 17
10/13/2005 10:42 AM

Back in my day of n00bdom, the idiot, formerly known as Ford Prefect posted a link to goatse.



Not being wise in the way of the mouseover I clicked it. Next thing you know I had thousands of goatse popups on my monitor. THOUSANDS! In various variety of pixel.... burning my eyes.



I was at work so the only thing I could do was shut the PC off.



Yeah, good times, good times.

Clint McSahara HotPants 19,555 11
10/13/2005 10:43 AM

Heh - the GF just emailed me asking where she can get the picture. She wants to get some of her co-workers.



It is only a question of time before she joins GAB, right?

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 10:45 AM

No, she's seen GAB. She knows about it, and talks to some of the people on here.



She doesn't like it - she gets offended too easily, and can't take the jokes.

Trae - Now with flying monkeys! 156,790 17
10/13/2005 10:47 AM

Lucky she's not fat, hairy and black or she'd really not fit in here.





*listens to whisper from stage left*





What?



Oh...hmmmm..... nevermind.

Zolton, Third Cousin Twice Removed of Chucky 88,200 34
10/13/2005 10:48 AM

Wow, thin-skinned, but she's itching to goatse her coworkers?



In my neighborhood, that's called 'dishing it out'.

dropkick brody and her Army of Flaming Leprechauns 43,090 12
10/13/2005 10:48 AM

Is she coming on your trip to Ireland?

Trae - Now with flying monkeys! 156,790 17
10/13/2005 10:58 AM

I'm guessing many, many, many times over brody.

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 10:58 AM

Brody - I doubt it. She probably can't stand to be away from home for that long.



Why?

Clint McSahara HotPants 19,555 11
10/13/2005 11:02 AM

Why?



Two words: Three some.

dropkick brody and her Army of Flaming Leprechauns 43,090 12
10/13/2005 11:05 AM

Couldn't have put it better myself, McPants.



Heh, no I was just wondering since you said last night she might want to come

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 11:08 AM

She says she wants to, but I think it's just to keep an eye on me. She doesn't like to travel much, and doesn't like to leave home for extended periods of time - she has a teenage son, and likes to be around for him. She'll probably say 'no' when we start making actual arrangements.

dropkick brody and her Army of Flaming Leprechauns 43,090 12
10/13/2005 11:09 AM

What in the world would she have to keep an eye on you for? It's not like you're a flirt or anything.

The Fabulous Auntie Trixxie 65,026 15
10/13/2005 11:14 AM

While Chris Garrett's Penis needs its own zip code, Chris's assholyness need to be declared a sovereign country.

Chris Garrett, Naked 86,932 12
10/13/2005 11:17 AM

I don't get it.

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 11:18 AM

Wait - Chris is Goatse too?

dropkick brody and her Army of Flaming Leprechauns 43,090 12
10/13/2005 11:21 AM

It wouldn't surprise me if he was.



He's almost everyone else on this website.

The Fabulous Auntie Trixxie 65,026 15
10/13/2005 12:05 PM

It's both a complement and condemnation at the same time Chrisse.

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 05:38 PM

I'm bumping this so the person who did this horrible thing can see the trama they caused me!

dropkick brody and her Army of Flaming Leprechauns 43,090 12
10/13/2005 05:41 PM

<action> looks around GAB accusingly </action> I guess it was SD or Mr Sir



...in the billiard room, with the lead pipe.

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
10/13/2005 05:41 PM

BUMP

Zolton, Third Cousin Twice Removed of Chucky 88,200 34
10/13/2005 05:42 PM

...in the billiard room, with the lead pipe.



Worse. In the bedroom, with the goatse.



Makes the candlestick look like a wet noodle, dunnit?

dropkick brody and her Army of Flaming Leprechauns 43,090 12
10/13/2005 05:43 PM

Heh, wet noodle.



That's making me laugh more than it should.

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 05:44 PM

Actually, I know the person is on IM, but it doesn't appear they are here.



The smart is me.

Yorkie Thompson: Robot Made of Boxes. 60,724 12
10/13/2005 05:45 PM

Twasn't me. None of you people talk to me unless it's on GAB.



Elitist bastards.

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 05:47 PM

'Scuse me 'Yorkie' but I spoke to you on IM the other night, and the thorough and talkative response I got was 'heh.'

Yorkie Thompson: Robot Made of Boxes. 60,724 12
10/13/2005 05:47 PM

Heh.

UnderWater - the undead Tsunami victim 101,398 77
10/13/2005 05:49 PM

Ditdah, you know I love you, right?

notkaliesmash 1,741 7
10/13/2005 05:50 PM

dont give the satisfaction ditdah

Yorkie Thompson: Robot Made of Boxes. 60,724 12
10/13/2005 05:51 PM

Now that I've got the orbies, I can actually explain that I was doing homework. Sorry.

Oliver Rotting Corpse 203,475 12
10/13/2005 05:52 PM

SD, I've been trying to set up a time to rape meet up with you for months now.



You, sir, are the elitist bastard.

Yorkie Thompson: Robot Made of Boxes. 60,724 12
10/13/2005 05:53 PM

I talked to Diana about that. Whenever you guys have a free weekend, I'll probably be available.

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 05:54 PM

As long as he isn't doing 'homework'.

UnderWater - the undead Tsunami victim 101,398 77
10/13/2005 06:00 PM

Anyone else want an early morning wake up call, IM me your cell phone number, and I'll be happy to contact the goatse man on your behalf. Of course, if you just want to see the creation that Spicey & I cobbed together at a local restaurant - a combination of crayon and chunky salsa, I'll be happy to send it immediately, if you prefer.



Trae - you don't know how lucky you are. Haggis and I sent it to you a couple of weeks ago. We figured you must not have picture capability when you didn't call us back. Of course, our other thought was maybe you were too excited by the photo, and had to, uh, take care of something first.

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 06:05 PM

Hey ya'll - fill Spicey's better half's orbs for the genius. If I deserve the orbs for looking at it, she deserves 'em for sending it.

Chit Eating Grin 178,781 15
10/13/2005 09:01 PM

she has a teenage son, and likes to be around for him. She'll probably say 'no' when we start making actual arrangements.







So Ditdah, does that make you her baby's Mama ?







Of course, if you just want to see the creation that Spicey & I cobbed together at a local restaurant - a combination of crayon and chunky salsa, I'll be happy to send it immediately, if you prefer.





Wait a minute. You and Spicey mixed your poop together in some public restroom and took pictures ?



Wow, the Wake Up Call at "Casa De Spicey Bed and Breakfast" must be memorable one.

Dismembered Ditdah 123,110 14
10/13/2005 09:02 PM

So Ditdah, does that make you her baby's Mama ?



No. If so, I had him when I was 10.

Bad Donkey 77,546 17
05/06/2008 07:58 PM

Just to piss Ditdah off.

Anh 11,158 14
05/06/2008 08:07 PM

You should have texted her this page at 3:22 AM.

Ditdah 123,110 14
05/06/2008 08:20 PM

Like I'm going to get mad you bumped one of my funniest posts.

Wait - did you find that by reading my profile? Were you stalking me?

I knew it.

Thud 68,497 19
05/06/2008 08:24 PM

Ditdah, don't be bothered by the idea of him stalking you. You'll be able to see the gleam off his forehead long before you're actually in range.

Ditdah 123,110 14
05/06/2008 08:30 PM

Well, since I've been hanging out in your bushes, can you warn me if you see him coming?

Thud 68,497 19
05/06/2008 08:44 PM

You know, you don't have to hide in the bushes. You can sit on the deck.

Denim Jeen 47,787 51
05/06/2008 11:09 PM

Thud talking dirty!

Thud 68,497 19
05/06/2008 11:17 PM

That wasn't intended as dirty, but now you've helped my mind fall back into the gutter.

Thanks!

No Spring Chickens 286,539 61
05/07/2008 09:17 AM

that's brilliant Dit. Who did it to you?

Ditdah 123,110 14
05/07/2008 10:33 AM

It was Undies, but this was 2 years ago. I know better than to keep my phone turned up at night. One of Frat's freaky photo mails would show up at 2am.

Everyone at work loves the photo of you picking your nose, by the way.

The Marginally Small Ravos 63,472 21
05/07/2008 10:38 AM

Thud talking riding dirty!

Fixed!