Yorkie Thompson: Robot Made of Boxes. 60,724 12
10/18/2005 02:33 AM

Heh. I liked that thread. Well, besides the rather unfortunate "boyfriend being a butthead" part.



Good luck on your move.

Take the toilet. That'll throw him for a loop.

Frogpop - doin' a heck of a job. 173,153 25
10/18/2005 02:50 AM

Who's getting the frequent flyer miles?

Frogpop - doin' a heck of a job. 173,153 25
10/18/2005 02:51 AM

I'm pretty sure all the lightbulbs are yours.

OneEyedTrouserTrout 6,046 8
10/18/2005 02:54 AM

A few suggestions....



Take all the toilet paper, paper towels, napkins and everything else he could wipe his ass with.



Replace all the light bulbs with maximum 25 watt bulbs.



Take a picture of you using his toothbrush to clean the ferret Shakespeare off the bottom of their cage (leave in camera)



Before leaving be sure to piss off the all the neighbors big time



Destroy every last bit of porno he may have stashed. VHS tapes can be taped over with religious content or Ron Popiel infomercials.



and last, but not least poke holes in all his condoms

Yorkie Thompson: Robot Made of Boxes. 60,724 12
10/18/2005 02:55 AM

I see you've done this before, Trout.

Diana Matronic 57,835 108
10/18/2005 02:56 AM

I like your style, Trout.

Silence of the Lambs 33,017 9
10/18/2005 02:57 AM

Dude, just take everything. Blame it on the ferret. Nobody could get mad at something that freakin cute.

Diana Matronic 57,835 108
10/18/2005 03:02 AM

Anyone who compliments my ferrets gets clickies!

Fartpuppy is not worthwhile 5,142 13
10/18/2005 03:03 AM

Why is this thread feeling like it's going to turn into a free clickie thread?

Silence of the Lambs 33,017 9
10/18/2005 03:08 AM

It truly is the cutest ferret I have ever seen.

Silence of the Lambs 33,017 9
10/18/2005 03:08 AM

I also like the box and blankets the ferret is standing on.

Silence of the Lambs 33,017 9
10/18/2005 03:10 AM

But mainly I like the ferret. Cause it's cute.

Diana Matronic 57,835 108
10/18/2005 03:12 AM

Ok, now you're just being ridiculous.

Fartpuppy is not worthwhile 5,142 13
10/18/2005 03:13 AM

And there we go.

Silence of the Lambs 33,017 9
10/18/2005 03:13 AM

Those are some ugly Frost-ing ferrets.

Yorkie Thompson: Robot Made of Boxes. 60,724 12
10/18/2005 03:14 AM

I've always wanted a ferret. I proposed the idea to my roomates, and it was an instant veto.



They don't like fun.

Diana Matronic 57,835 108
10/18/2005 03:16 AM

Now, I am sad.

Fartpuppy is not worthwhile 5,142 13
10/18/2005 03:21 AM

Congratulations on the moving too.

Fishlegs shouldn't drink on Tuesday afternoons 1,612 9
10/18/2005 04:02 AM

I always thought, if I could be any animal in the world if would be a lionferret.

Fishlegs shouldn't drink on Tuesday afternoons 1,612 9
10/18/2005 04:03 AM

If, it, whatever.

Nachos 57,521 23
10/18/2005 05:20 AM

I'm not sure how I feel about ferrets. Singularly or in pairs, they're fine. If they belong to someone that I have no connection with, I'm fine.



However, one of my previous grilfriends had 20 of them. Imagine Frat's house, but replace all the cats with hyper-active, inquisitve rodents. Now imagine that they were hardly ever confined to a cage.



Now imagine being deep in the throes of some lustful, passionate, sweaty sex. Got that image? Good.



Finally, imagine three or four furry projectiles hurling themselves onto the bed and attacking your toes, hair and possibly your ears.



It's amazing what you can learn to block out just to get a decent shag.

Nachos 57,521 23
10/18/2005 05:23 AM

Having said all of that, I still missed the little buggers when we split up.



</schmaltzy ending for Dianada>

Vlad The Impaler (Purveyor of aMurder.com) 19,599 12
10/18/2005 08:32 AM

You should move to Portland, OR. It's like Seattle lite. Everything's a little bit more laid back here, still get rain, cool coastline. Plus, you can try and seduce Vlad away from Vlad's wife. Dianada, Vlad appreciate your boob shot very much, but the butt shot really cemented Vlad's feelings for you.





MUST HAVE ASS!!!

Fratberry 283,018 53
10/18/2005 08:40 AM

Jebus H. Frost people... TAKE THE COMPUTER!!11



Also, take all of your panties. Mmmmm... panties...

Phuc 237,919 21
10/18/2005 08:45 AM

They don't like fun.



They also prolly don't like stinky ferret Shakespeare hidden in every nook and cranny of the house.

Jilly 24,693 8
10/18/2005 08:52 AM

toilet paper

toothpaste

deoderant

mouthwash

laundry detergent

condoms

all medication prescrption and non

shampoo/conditioner

all food items

Jilly 24,693 8
10/18/2005 09:14 AM

OOOh... the iron and the ironing board too.

Something Bankey This Way Comes 70,843 10
10/18/2005 09:16 AM

be sure to take all of the ice cube trays and empty all of the ice out of the freezer.





What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?

</trueLies>

McPants - The Shape of Punk to Come 19,555 11
10/18/2005 09:19 AM

Be symbolic and steal the queen of hearts from all of his decks of cards.

Something Bankey This Way Comes 70,843 10
10/18/2005 09:22 AM

Be symbolic and leave an upper decker in every toilet in the apartment.

Fratberry 283,018 53
10/18/2005 09:23 AM

And that, my friends, is why he's no longer in the basement.

Mummified Chickens with 2000 year old halitosis 286,539 61
10/18/2005 09:27 AM

I had a ferret when I lived in the frat house in college. His name was FratRat. I was told they are very easy to litter box train. Apparently the first day, they will pick a corner to drop a load in. You just put the litter box in that corner and all problems are solved.



Unfortunately FR chose the corner behind the door, where you CANNOT put a litter box and still allow the door to open.



His days were numbered from right then.

Mummified Chickens with 2000 year old halitosis 286,539 61
10/18/2005 09:28 AM

One night, after much beer, we bantered around the idea of turning FR and another of the guy's pet boa loose in a pit, complete with betting and one hella party.



The idea was voted down the next morning when we were sober but it was all on that night and the bets were heavy on FR.

PPPPffffbbb 179 7
10/18/2005 09:41 AM

Take the cannolis

Millie has fun-size snickers 116,988 28
10/18/2005 02:26 PM

Diana, I regret that I did not try to get you to move to Maine in that first thread.



O.K., I don't regret it. I am too insecure to have you in the same state as my boyfriend, especially since he likes your boobs more than mine.



Now, about what to take: I am not good at that. My ex-husband still has most of my books in his house, and I've been gone going on three years. He had to pack my clothes and stuff, because it took forever for me to get them.



The only things I took were my dressers and bed, because I had those before we were together.



He even got to keep the house. He wouldn't give up the cats, either, except one, who I tried to take with me but I had to return him to my husband because he cried all the time for the other two cats.

PeeWee 4,624 8
10/18/2005 02:34 PM

Ferrets don't fry in the kitchen

Ex-boyfriend should burn on the grill

Took a whole lotta tryin'

Just to get his severed penis rollin' down the hill

Now Diana's up in teh big leagues

Gettin' her turn at bat

As long as she's alive, it's her and the crazy ferrets baby

There ain't nothin wrong with that



Well Diana's movin on up,

To the east side

To a deluxe apartment in the sky

Movin' on up

To the east side

She's finally got a her piece of the pie

Millie has fun-size snickers 116,988 28
10/18/2005 02:38 PM

By the way, your ferrets are cute.



When I was 20 or 21, I shared an apartment with three other girls. I moved out to my own apartment two doors down. The girl who took my place had two ferrets.



My old roommate, Debbie, hated most animals, and especially ferrets. But she needed a roommate and the girl (coincidentally named Diana) promised she would keep them in their cage.



My old room--the one Diana took--had a door going into the bathroom. One day, Debbie was alone in the apartment, taking a shower.



Apparently, the ferrets liked running water. They heard the shower and they got out of their cage and came into the bathroom a stuck their (cute little) faces into the shower.



Debbie screamed and ran out of the shower into her room. She called me in a panic to get the ferrets; she knew I was home and I wasn't afraid of them. When I got there, she was standing in the middle of her bed, screaming, and the little ferrets were on their hind legs, trying to get on the bed.



It was the funniest thing I'd seen in a long time. I grabbed the critters and put them back in their cage.



They ended up kicking Diana out. They didn't like her anyway, she used to undress in front of the window with the lights on and no curtains. My boyfriend's family lived on that side of the building and his father used to watch her (gross). His mother found out and complained. Diana was fat, so I don't know what the big deal was.

Aimless and her Fetus 54,807 10
10/18/2005 02:39 PM

You have to decide what you actually think is yours. When I left the bastard ex I took almost everthing becasue he mooched off my income the whole time we were married so my income bought 99.9% of what we had.



You have to decide how much of a bitch you are. I, personally, am a huge bitch. The Emerson came home to an empty house complete with bare wires hanging from the ceiling where the ceiling fans used to be.

PeeWee 4,624 8
10/18/2005 02:40 PM

Millie,



Have you considered blogging? There are many blog providers that will allow you to post long drawn out content for the masses at little or no expense to you.



Just a thought.



PeeWee

Mr. Sir, Scary indeed. 66,727 9
10/18/2005 02:46 PM

You two shut the Frost up.



Millie can post her grocery list if she wants to.



Douchenozzles.

PeeWee 4,624 8
10/18/2005 02:48 PM

Sure, she can post her grocery list. Just as long as she makes it short, sweet, to the point and mildly funny.

Mr. Sir, Scary indeed. 66,727 9
10/18/2005 02:49 PM

Why, can't you read anything longer than 20 words without pictures?

PeeWee 4,624 8
10/18/2005 02:53 PM

I think Mr. Sir has a crush on Millie!



Mr. Sir and Millie

sittin' in a tree

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

First comes Millie's long drawn out story

Then comes Mr. Sir falling asleep and falling out of the tree

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
10/18/2005 02:54 PM

Millie's Grocery List

10/18/2005 2:51 pm[OewqfHzU_qNfuDNCzuFmLQ]



A life





That's pretty ironic, when you consider who it's coming from.

Yorkie Thompson: Robot Made of Boxes. 60,724 12
10/18/2005 02:55 PM

You're just making friends fast, aren't you PeeWee?

Blood-spattered Sombrero 91,274 10
10/18/2005 02:56 PM

Sure, she can post her grocery list. Just as long as she makes it short, sweet, to the point and mildly funny.



Let's see you lead the way then, Emerson.



Thanks, You're a douche.

Miracles 22,430 0
10/18/2005 02:56 PM

Pee Wee - Just because I am not really posting anymore doesn't mean you have to bash on Millie now.



Leave Millie alone - she is one of the only GABbers I love.



You can bag on me instead - I just won't fight back.

Diana Matronic 57,835 108
10/18/2005 02:57 PM

Millie, if I moved to Maine it would only be to stalk meet Stephen King. And you again!



Yeah, ferrets LOVE running water. They snorkle and spash everywhere - it's SO CUTE. But if you bathe them more often than oh, every 6 months, they smell really bad.



Pee Wee - love the song, but don't ever bash Millie again. Kthx.

PeeWee 4,624 8
10/18/2005 02:58 PM

Just because I am not really posting anymore



Wait, what?

Oliver Rotting Corpse 203,475 12
10/18/2005 02:58 PM

Well, this thread turned suck pretty quick.

Mr. Sir, Scary indeed. 66,727 9
10/18/2005 02:59 PM

First of all PeeWee, you are arguing with the wrong person about long-winded posts. I am certainly more prone to that than Millie.



Second, yep- I like her.



Third, well, I don't know what my third point was, so you can see yourself out. Feel free to help yourself to a piping hot cup of STFU on your way out.





And Miracles, How YOU doin?

PeeWee 4,624 8
10/18/2005 03:05 PM

I happen like your stories Mr. Sir. And as far as being long winded, your stories have a point and are usually well written, which makes the long-windedness fruitful.



Millie posts are like she has IBS on the brain: she might think she's just peeing a little, but she's really Shakespeare-ing all over the wall behind her.

Blood-spattered Sombrero 91,274 10
10/18/2005 03:08 PM

<oldie but a goodie>



Mr Kettle? Call on line 3 for you, One Mr. Pot. He says its Urgent, and that you're a no-good Ogden Nasheshall I take a message?



</oldie but a goodie>

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
10/18/2005 03:14 PM

I'm with Mr. Sir on this. I like Millie as well, I think she's funny, and I too am more prone to long-winded posts than her. PeeWee's contribution to the funny on GAB, however, is akin to the contribution of a sea urchin's fart to global warming.



Naturally, since half of GAB thinks that Mr. Sir and I are in fact the same person, they will now also believe that we're schizophrenic. Both of me.

PeeWee 4,624 8
10/18/2005 03:19 PM

PeeWee's contribution to the funny on GAB, however, is akin to the contribution of a sea urchin's fart to global warming.



Ironic, don't you think? I have made more of an impact considering the topic of the thread has changed because of an off-handed remark toward Millie, which could have just been easily ignored.



Good show boys! I'm glad you all don't think much of me.

Mr. Sir, Scary indeed. 66,727 9
10/18/2005 03:20 PM

I'll tell you who's schizophrenic- me, that's who.



And if he doesn't like it, he can just go to hell.



Whatever, I can do what I want, I don't need to do what I say.



What?



Who said that.





I have no idea what's going on.





Love,

Le Homme de Postage.

Yorkie Thompson: Robot Made of Boxes. 60,724 12
10/18/2005 03:21 PM

Man, I've been hatin' PeeWee since he got here. You guys are all just posers.

gorcjuice 41,132 13
10/18/2005 03:22 PM

Ironic, don't you think?



No- have your ever smelled a sea urchin's fart?



Hoo-ey! Serve me a rotten egg salad anyday, but don't make me smell another one of those little Froster's farts!

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
10/18/2005 03:24 PM

<action>adds to the confusion</action>

I brew my own beer.

Jilly 24,693 8
10/18/2005 03:26 PM

Ha yorkarama ... that was funny.

Blood-spattered Sombrero 91,274 10
10/18/2005 03:26 PM

Ironic, don't you think? I have made more of an impact considering the topic of the thread has changed because of an off-handed remark toward Millie, which could have just been easily ignored.





Don't get off thinking that you're some sort of Extraordinary Fowl* or Dur im a Fish.



You're just a douche who tries, has tried, and will continue to try to fit in. Stop being a prick and don't hate on anyone. You're in no position to pass any judgements on anybodys funny, Above using the OoH's.



Shut the Frost up.

Frost off.



Whichever you want.

Millie has fun-size snickers 116,988 28
10/18/2005 03:30 PM

You know, Pee Wee, I never thought of you one way or another.



But now I think you're a Frost-ing asswipe. I may be long-winded, and whether or not I'm funny is subjective. Saying my posts are poorly written is pretty funny. How often to I have grammatical errors or spelling errors? Not often.



It may have started as an offhand remark, but you followed it up with more of your assholish comments.



So take your critique of me and shove it up your ass.

Fratberry 283,018 53
10/18/2005 03:32 PM

I hardly consider Millie to be long winded. At least Daisypie hasn't said anything about it.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
10/18/2005 03:33 PM

How often to I have grammatical errors or spelling errors? Not often.



I <3 Millie.

PeeWee 4,624 8
10/18/2005 03:35 PM

which could have just been easily ignored.



Thanks for (yet again) making my point Hatchop.



Ooh! Look at the beautiful plumage the dominant male displays when his domain is threatened!

Millie has fun-size snickers 116,988 28
10/18/2005 03:38 PM

Give me a break, Mailman, I was typing fast.



That's a typo, not a grammatical or spelling error.

Oliver Rotting Corpse 203,475 12
10/18/2005 03:39 PM

I hate it when mom and dad fight!

PeeWee 4,624 8
10/18/2005 03:40 PM

So take your critique of me and shove it up your ass.



You're cute when you're mad Millie.

Millie has fun-size snickers 116,988 28
10/18/2005 03:40 PM

I'll give Pee Wee credit for having the balls to insult me while logged-in, unlike the other ones who are too Poe to register.

Fratberry 283,018 53
10/18/2005 03:44 PM

What the hell?

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
10/18/2005 03:45 PM

Give me a break, Mailman



Fine. I >3 Millie.

Zolton, Third Cousin Twice Removed of Chucky 88,200 34
10/18/2005 03:54 PM

I don't care how long Millie's post was... but did you have to make the naked exhibitionist ferret chick fat at the end? That's just wrong.

Diana Matronic 57,835 108
10/18/2005 03:56 PM

<action>sobs into a carton of ice cream</action>You guys have ruined my thread! Ruined it! THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!

Oliver Rotting Corpse 203,475 12
10/18/2005 03:58 PM

No. JK2K is the reason we can't have nice things.

Zolton, Third Cousin Twice Removed of Chucky 88,200 34
10/18/2005 03:59 PM

Oh, right. Sorry, Diana.



My advice: take nothing. And eat nothing but asparagus before you leave. On the last night, pee like a drunken little fireman on everything.



He'll send most of it to you soon enough, or throw it out. No man likes his territory marked like that.

Mr. Sir, Scary indeed. 66,727 9
10/18/2005 04:01 PM

<action> had a bad night last night, and found out that if you're going to cry into a bowl of ice cream, Hagaan Daas Chocolate Cherry Truffle is the best. Especially with a tall glass of vodka.</action>

Duhnnie Darko 24,152 8
10/18/2005 04:01 PM

I am so surprised no one has made a Billy Joel comment by now.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
10/18/2005 04:03 PM

<action>sticks his head out of the brawl dust, sporting a black eye and a few missing teeth, comic-book style</action>

Guys, guys... We're here fighting each other, while a hot chick is shouting to the world that she is single!



So, um, Dianada, how' you doin'?

johnnykielbasaMM 15,703 0
10/18/2005 04:04 PM

Billy Joel just crashed into a trailer full of Ferrets. There was no explantion about the Toilet in his Ferrari's windshield.



Back to you DUH

gorcjuice 41,132 13
10/18/2005 04:05 PM

Leave an open can of tuna under the fridge near the front where he'll find it when he looks for the smell.



But make sure you've also got one in the back out of sight where he'll need another week to realize that it's not just leftover stank.

Duhnnie Darko 24,152 8
10/18/2005 04:05 PM

For some reason the urge to kill something has arisen in me.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
10/18/2005 04:05 PM

I am so surprised no one has made a Billy Joel comment by now.



Dianada is an uptown girl?

Duhnnie Darko 24,152 8
10/18/2005 04:06 PM

...

Oliver Rotting Corpse 203,475 12
10/18/2005 04:07 PM

Do you guys wanna see Dianada with her lips on a big boner?

Diana Matronic 57,835 108
10/18/2005 04:07 PM

Mr. Sir, it's like we speak the same language!

Duhnnie Darko 24,152 8
10/18/2005 04:08 PM

<action> reiterates</action>

...

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
10/18/2005 04:09 PM

Mr. Sir, it's like we speak the same language!



Great!

Fratberry 283,018 53
10/18/2005 04:10 PM

How about Diana giving a big boner?

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
10/18/2005 04:13 PM

Or Dianada holding a pair of balls in her hand?



>*<

Zolton, Third Cousin Twice Removed of Chucky 88,200 34
10/18/2005 04:20 PM

Frankly, I'm more interested in Dianada two-fisting an eight-inch rod.



>*<



Although, if she wanted to wrap a pinky around a peashooter, I'd be just peachy with that, too.

Duhnnie Darko 24,152 8
10/18/2005 04:21 PM

Watch out Zolton, she'll blow you away.

gorcjuice 41,132 13
10/18/2005 04:24 PM

Here's an idea that'll Frost with his comfort for a long time. You need:



1. A piece of foam padding (the squishy stuff that is used to make poor people pillows).

2. A flat or phillips (cross, if you're not up on your tools) head screwdriver. Which type depends on the type of screws securing the supply vent cover in the bedroom.



Basically, you are going to remove the cover from the vent that pumps hot air and cold air (if you have A/C) into the bedroom. Then, you will stuff enough foam into the vent so that about 75% of the airflow is blocked (its best to have the heat running at this point).



You may want to use something to shove the foam back out of arm's reach a little ways, just to make it harder to find and diagnose the problem.



Its a little thing, but if it runs up his heating bill trying to stay warm and creates a chill in his bed because you're not there to snuggle, well, Frost HIM AND THE HORSE HE WAS BIRTHED FROM!

Mr. Sir, Scary indeed. 66,727 9
10/18/2005 04:30 PM

Diana,



Whipped cream straight from the can?

It's awesome too. Try it with a great big glass of Bailey's and Kahlua.





Hugs and kisses,



Mr. Sir.

Diana Matronic 57,835 108
10/20/2005 09:48 PM

Bump for no particular reason.

Yorkie Thompson: Robot Made of Boxes. 60,724 12
10/20/2005 09:50 PM

I want to pet your ferret.



You may take that any way you wish.

Hitlar was a sensitive man 0 7
10/20/2005 09:58 PM

I always wanted a ferret.

Yorkie Thompson: Robot Made of Boxes. 60,724 12
10/20/2005 09:58 PM

Who the hell iShakespearelar?

Diana Matronic 57,835 108
10/20/2005 10:01 PM

One of those upside-down people, I think.

Yorkie Thompson: Robot Made of Boxes. 60,724 12
10/20/2005 10:02 PM

Heh.



Emoshots Galore!

Gutted Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
10/21/2005 12:08 AM

You need to get Chi Chi to learn up your ferrets in that ninja style.



Then leave them in the vents.



At night, they leap from their soft foam beds in the warm vents and eat his face.



Is it the ferrets that are the face eaters?

Prof. Fantabulous 19,711 13
10/21/2005 12:27 AM

If i had a pair of ferrets, i would name them Kodo and Podo, and teach them to rob barbarian women of their bikinis.

Duhnnie Darko 24,152 8
10/21/2005 12:29 AM

Up late watching the "Beastmaster" marathon too, eh?