Mr. Sir. 66,727 9
11/01/2005 04:41 PM

"Hey, not so rough. And would it kill you to hold my hand and kiss me? I'm not a whore, you know."

Mr. Sir. 66,727 9
11/01/2005 04:41 PM

Oh yeah:





HAHA!

Prostetnic Vogon Chest 203,475 12
11/01/2005 04:41 PM

I'd put an obnoxious emoticon up your ass.

Prostetnic Vogon Chest 203,475 12
11/01/2005 04:42 PM

Didn't CG have one of these threads a year or so ago?

rahrahgranny 773 7
11/01/2005 04:42 PM

I've had 3 and every time (just before the GOOD drugs kick in) right as he's spreading my cheeks, I yell out "NO NO NO I changed my mind! I don't want to do this!"



My husband can hear me in the family waiting room and says it reminds him of our wedding night!

Butternips - with stuffing! 369 7
11/01/2005 04:44 PM

I was thinking of, "Doc, could you write a note to my wife and tell her that my head's not up there?"

rahrahgranny 773 7
11/01/2005 04:44 PM

Didn't CG have one of these threads a year or so ago?



Hasn't every thread on Zug been done a time or two?

Butternips - with stuffing! 369 7
11/01/2005 04:45 PM

Oboe.. where are your orbs? Sign in you ZUG bastard so I can click 'em!

Prostetnic Vogon Chest 203,475 12
11/01/2005 04:45 PM

Yes, and I was hoping someone could link to it, cause I am too lazy to use the Frosted up search, cause it was a funny thread.

Kretchfoop! Now with even more Foopier Fap! 160 7
11/01/2005 04:45 PM

All those years and hundreds of thousands of dollars of ivy league education and the best speciality you could come up with is corn-holing people.

Prof. Fantabulous 19,711 13
11/01/2005 04:46 PM

Glitter spray

J.W.- bitter and jaded 24,693 8
11/01/2005 04:46 PM

NO butter. They give you GREAT drugs. You won't remember a thing.

It's a pleasure.

Kretchfoop! Now with even more Foopier Fap! 160 7
11/01/2005 04:47 PM

Of course you might want to make that comment after he pulls the long metal instrument out of your ass.

Gorc Katfrunt 41,132 13
11/01/2005 04:49 PM

Buy those gummy eyeball candies on clearance and shove about a dozen up your ass.

Trae Trillian or whatever Chickens says 156,790 17
11/01/2005 04:54 PM

Then scream "My eye! My eye!"

Dreadful Daggy with scabs and stuff 86,705 14
11/01/2005 05:01 PM

Colonoscopies.

Butternips - with stuffing! 369 7
11/01/2005 05:02 PM

"You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

Ditdah Broomfondle 123,110 14
11/01/2005 05:03 PM

Someone want to explain to me why the Oboe Master has returned?



I hate not being able to click him.

Pants 14,252 17
11/01/2005 05:03 PM

"How much for a reach around?"

Prostetnic Vogon Chest 203,475 12
11/01/2005 05:04 PM

"I'd feel more comfortable if I had something in my mouth to suck on."

Prostetnic Vogon Chest 203,475 12
11/01/2005 05:04 PM

"Got anything bigger?"

Ditdah Broomfondle 123,110 14
11/01/2005 05:05 PM

Do you mean this one, Ollie?

Miracles Gets the Wishbone 22,430 0
11/01/2005 05:06 PM

If your doctor looks like this with his tool then tell him you want to go to the Shakespearecase Showdown.

Butternips - with stuffing! 369 7
11/01/2005 05:08 PM

"Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

Butternips - with stuffing! 369 7
11/01/2005 05:09 PM

"Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

Prostetnic Vogon Chest 203,475 12
11/01/2005 05:11 PM

No, Diddy. He made a thread before he went, asking for ideas of what he should do. Just like this one.

Ditdah Broomfondle 123,110 14
11/01/2005 05:12 PM

Well Frost off then. I tried.

Prostetnic Vogon Chest 203,475 12
11/01/2005 05:17 PM

"Woa, weird. This totally reminds me of my childhood!"

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/01/2005 05:21 PM

My anus tried to express its discontempt to this procedure earlier this morning. It told me "Pffffttbtttbbbttbtbb", But I was all like "Poot! Poot Poot!" and it was like "FRRRRRRAAAAAPPPPP!"





So yeah, I hope you're not wearing new shoes. I'm not sure what will happen.

Zolton Desiato, Dead for Tax Reasons 88,200 34
11/01/2005 05:27 PM

I say paste a lifesized Goatse poster to your back. Then strip down, bend over, and reach back.



See if he goes for it.

gwallaia 3,510 12
11/01/2005 05:28 PM

I think I would paint a big smiley yellow Happy Face on my ass.

Miracles Gets the Wishbone 22,430 0
11/01/2005 05:29 PM

ZOLTON!



I spilled coffee all over myself from that.



You need to set up your awesome posts with warning posts.

hisboyelroy 10,621 13
11/01/2005 11:54 PM

i just tell the doctor to make sonar beeps and randomly yell stuff about flooding the ballasts while he's doing it.

BobJohnson, Holistic Detective 178,045 22
11/01/2005 11:58 PM

"The guy at the pet store said this was the best way to get my gerbil out."

BobJohnson, Holistic Detective 178,045 22
11/02/2005 12:03 AM

Wrinkle your nose in disgust about halfway through and ask the doctor, "Did you just the fart? 'Cause it smells like Shakespeare in here!"

Phuc 237,919 21
11/02/2005 06:33 AM

You are under general anesthesa for a colonoscopy, so a simple, "No glove, no love," should suffice. Not like you'd feel it or know it anyway.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
11/02/2005 01:03 PM

You know what I despise? A n00b who posts forwarded e-mail in an attempt at garnering orbs.



But you know what I hate even more? A n00b who cuts that e-mail up into 5 little bite sized posts, thinking that will get him even more orbs, and that people will think he's incredibly witty and accept him into the community with open anuses arms.



And so, butternips, if your'e a he, STFU, and if you're a she, STFU and SUYT (and change your name - you're not worthy of butter).

Miracles Gets the Wishbone 22,430 0
11/02/2005 02:07 PM

Told you guys that Nips uses old, beat material...



But then I got ATTACKED!



Maybe you will listen to Whistler.

Magic Thighs of Chickens 286,539 61
11/02/2005 02:22 PM

"I had corn for lunch, but then you know that by now."

Zombie Named Bub 1,163 8
11/02/2005 02:32 PM

Hide a condom filled with powdered sugar up there a ways.

Gorcmer Fudd on the prowl and hunting penis 41,132 13
11/02/2005 02:37 PM

Better yet- a condom filled with pepperoni slices.



HAH! Pepperoni slices!