MaddMatt - Now with Enhanced Improbability Drives 15,437 9
11/07/2005 01:59 PM

"Can Jesus come out and play?"

Fratberry 283,018 53
11/07/2005 02:00 PM

Rhetorical questions only.

Mr. Sir: lovin' some sweet 'tater pie. 66,727 9
11/07/2005 02:00 PM

I would ask why he let an angel like you roam the earth with all of us.

Ditdah 123,110 14
11/07/2005 02:02 PM

You talkin' to Frat?

Brer Chickens and the Tarbaby 286,539 61
11/07/2005 02:03 PM

Send your questions to me in an email and I'll ask for you since most of you will be checking in with the other guy, ya bunch of heathens.

Oliver Chest: Commited to Sparkle Motion 203,475 12
11/07/2005 02:03 PM

"How does it feel knowing that you don't actually exist?"

Who wants to taste my pie? 171,275 14
11/07/2005 02:03 PM

NO FAIR! Frat gets all the good men.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/07/2005 02:06 PM

Jilly, If you've attempted and failed, You won't get a chance to ask.





So try again with a horse, Have your daughter (if so..) record it, perhaps join in, and email it to Chilloutski at g mail dot com.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
11/07/2005 02:08 PM

"Pull my finger!"

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 02:08 PM

You talkin' to Frat?

Dit...just let me continue to believe that he was talking to me.

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 02:08 PM

You talkin' to Frat?

Dit...just let me continue to believe that he was talking to me.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
11/07/2005 02:09 PM

Sorry.



"Hey, PULL MY FINGER, why dontcha?"

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 02:10 PM

hot water burn baby

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
11/07/2005 02:10 PM

"Does it bug you that everyone yells your name when they cum?"

Zolton Desiato, Dead for Tax Reasons 88,200 34
11/07/2005 02:13 PM

Jilly, If you've attempted and failed, You won't get a chance to ask.



I think you misunderstood, Hat; I don't think she was the 'human' in her question. I'm guessing she's hoping to do the nasty with something having opposable thumbs, for once.

Mr. Sir: lovin' some sweet 'tater pie. 66,727 9
11/07/2005 02:14 PM

Does it bug you that everyone yells your name when they cum?"





No, it's kind of a turn-on for me Chriss. Thanks for asking.

Gorky Thatcher sings obladi oblada 41,132 13
11/07/2005 02:14 PM

Dear God:



Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle states that at any given time I may know a particle's velocity or its location. Assuming I have 2 pieces of fabulously calibrated equipment capable of measuring a particle's velocity or location independently of the other calculation and output them instantaneously to a common screen, what happens to the scientist looking at the screen when the results are shown?



Yours-

gorc

Ditdah 123,110 14
11/07/2005 02:15 PM

Not that you all want details, but when I was with an ex one time, I said "Oh god, that feels good." He stopped, immediately, and said "God has nothing to do with this. That's not appropriate and I'd prefer you not say that again."



We broke up shortly after.

Gorky Thatcher sings obladi oblada 41,132 13
11/07/2005 02:16 PM

Ditdah- that's why you're gay; you used His name in vain and He has forsaken you.



REPENT!

Ditdah 123,110 14
11/07/2005 02:18 PM

You offering to help?

Frogpop - doin' a heck of a job. 173,153 25
11/07/2005 02:19 PM

"Can I get a do-over?"

Gorky Thatcher sings obladi oblada 41,132 13
11/07/2005 02:20 PM

Yes- I'll be sure its not in vain that use his name.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/07/2005 02:21 PM

Ditdah, You are a terriBLAM!

Who wants to taste my pie? 171,275 14
11/07/2005 02:21 PM

Ditdah had sex with a gay man. Heh..I did that once. Of course I had no clue he was gay until my male boss told me he was dating him. He had the biggest penis I have ever seen.

SHP- slatherd in sweet 'tater pie 181,790 70
11/07/2005 02:22 PM

So the whole Scientology thing.. that was purely for your amusement, wasn't it?

Oliver Chest: Commited to Sparkle Motion 203,475 12
11/07/2005 02:22 PM

"What's the deal with airline peanuts?"

Frogpop - doin' a heck of a job. 173,153 25
11/07/2005 02:25 PM

The jar is round.. the mug is round.. so why do you let bad things happen to good people?

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/07/2005 02:26 PM

"So, You're the one they call "God" huh? Well riddle me this..



What is your view on the fact that Religion is one of the two man-made devices (the other being Government) that seperate us all from the Human beings that we are?"

Gorky Thatcher sings obladi oblada 41,132 13
11/07/2005 02:26 PM

"If I get in trouble for looking at 12 year old girls' bottoms, why do they wear shorts with word on them?"

The Baptist 1,672 8
11/07/2005 02:33 PM

Why do bad things happen to good people. Oh and what is the deal with Will Farrel

Loverly Lila 78,555 13
11/07/2005 02:35 PM

"Why did you allow Jilly to be born?"

Gorky Thatcher sings obladi oblada 41,132 13
11/07/2005 02:36 PM

"Why does God need a spaceship?"

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 02:40 PM

"Why did you allow Jilly to be born?"



"Did you create Old Navy just to Lila could have a job?"

Emperor Nick 376 8
11/07/2005 02:41 PM

<action>hates trap doors</action>

"Hey, what's the lever fooooooooooooooooooooooor..."

HartmanTwins - Victim of the Point of View Gun 10,131 10
11/07/2005 02:42 PM

This is a pretty good thread topic, but it makes me sad.



Seriously, Ditdah. If you plan on continuing in your lifestyle, email me with your question and I'll try to have God answer it for you.



I'm not a 100% sure if he'll bother to answer your lesbo question, but I'm sure some other non-sinner will ask it and I'll scream the answer down to ya.





Of course, you might not be able to hear me among your hellish screams as the flames burn you for all eternity...





Bummer.

HartmanTwins - Victim of the Point of View Gun 10,131 10
11/07/2005 02:43 PM

Is there another dyke on this site?



Ditdah lesbo hell jokes are getting old.

Crackalacka! 68,758 11
11/07/2005 02:43 PM

Where the hell did I put that Slayer tape I've been looking for since '93?

Oliver Chest: Commited to Sparkle Motion 203,475 12
11/07/2005 02:43 PM

I don't get this whole "Lila works at Old Navy" thing. Did I miss something?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
11/07/2005 02:43 PM

Are Carrot Top and Yahoo Serious the same person?



Why do black people steal?



This place is homo free, right?



Is Buddah just your fat little brother?



Why can't there be perpetual motion?

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 02:43 PM

whoa -Hart.. that was harsh.

HartmanTwins - Victim of the Point of View Gun 10,131 10
11/07/2005 02:43 PM

Of course, if I figure out how to write a decent joke, Ditdah's rawhide might suffice...

Oliver Chest: Commited to Sparkle Motion 203,475 12
11/07/2005 02:44 PM

Oh, it's just Jilly being not funny again? I see. Carry on.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
11/07/2005 02:44 PM

Ollie,



Jilly is a moron...that is all.



Me

Who wants to taste my pie? 171,275 14
11/07/2005 02:45 PM

I was a defender of Hartmaan, but I guess its true. You cant teach a black man new tricks, you have to beat him.

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 02:46 PM

Easy fellas, I'm always up for a little menage-a-trois, but yous some big boys.

HartmanTwins - Victim of the Point of View Gun 10,131 10
11/07/2005 02:46 PM

whoa -Hart.. that was harsh.



Jilly, please.



I'm sorry if you can't cope with the fact that taco eaters go to hell.



Also, I'm not entirely sure retards get in either. You might want to read a book or something.

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 02:47 PM

The Lila Old Navy joke (or is it??)

Who wants to taste my pie? 171,275 14
11/07/2005 02:49 PM

Hey Hartman, my great great grandaddy stuck it in your great great grammie. It was great.

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 02:49 PM

Not that you all want details, but when I was with an ex one time, I said "Oh god, that feels good." He stopped, immediately, and said "God has nothing to do with this. That's not appropriate and I'd prefer you not say that again."

Dit - that is the most awkward yet pee pee in the panties funniest thing I ever read in my life.

Oliver Chest: Commited to Sparkle Motion 203,475 12
11/07/2005 02:51 PM

Jilly, I wouldn't skull Frost you with a ten foot pole.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/07/2005 02:52 PM

Hey Hartman, my great great grandaddy stuck it in your great great grammie. It was great.



You know, Chance.

He might have "honed his skills" a little since the two passionate nights in question.



I'm just sayin is all...

Who wants to taste my pie? 171,275 14
11/07/2005 02:52 PM

Would you skull Frost me? PLEASESAY YES PLEASESAYYES!?

gwallaia 3,510 12
11/07/2005 02:52 PM

What's with all this Muslim crap about Allah? Is he the devil?

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 02:55 PM

Also, I'm not entirely sure retards get in either. You might want to read a book or something.



Hart-man! Please don't make me whine. I was just saying that somebody gave Dit crap in another thread and telling her she's condemned to hell is probably not the best way to raise her spirits. I got no beef with you.

Oliver Chest: Commited to Sparkle Motion 203,475 12
11/07/2005 02:55 PM

So the Old Navy/Lila joke is because she is wearing an Old Navy shirt in one of her pictures?



Jilly, you prove to be the least funny and most uncreative person on GAB day in & day out. You are even lower on the totem pole than JK2K.



But please, continue posting. It makes me feel better about myself knowing that there are people like you out there.

k4stmoon 1,143 11
11/07/2005 02:56 PM

Hey "God", if you are all powerful, can you make a rock so big that you yourself can't lift it?



(paraphrased from George Carlin)

Mr. Sir: lovin' some sweet 'tater pie. 66,727 9
11/07/2005 02:56 PM

Jilly, I wouldn't skull Frost you with a ten foot pole.



I would.



What the hell, it's Christmas.

HartmanTwins - Victim of the Point of View Gun 10,131 10
11/07/2005 02:56 PM

Hey Hartman, my great great grandaddy stuck it in your great great grammie. It was great.



Well.



Go Gammie, I guess.

Oliver Chest: Commited to Sparkle Motion 203,475 12
11/07/2005 02:57 PM

Chance, I would skull Frost you with a really small vienna sausage. (my penis)

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 02:57 PM

Ollie would too. I LOVE YOU OLLIE.

Frogpop - doin' a heck of a job. 173,153 25
11/07/2005 02:57 PM

I always thought the joke was that Old Navy would never hire a black person, and, therefore, there's no way Lila could possibly work there, and we were rubbing her nose in it.

TableTopJane-Ridin' my Jesus horse 173,958 15
11/07/2005 02:58 PM

Send your questions to me in an email and I'll ask for you since most of you will be checking in with the other guy, ya bunch of heathens.





So, can I get a video of when you told Chickens he wasn't getting into Heaven because he was a self righteous prick who mistakingly thought he had the right to pass judgement on the rest of us?

TableTopJane-Ridin' my Jesus horse 173,958 15
11/07/2005 02:59 PM

Also, just between us God, the giraffe was an accident, right?

Gorky Thatcher sings obladi oblada 41,132 13
11/07/2005 02:59 PM

Also, I'm not entirely sure retards get in either.



Haha! Jilly's going...to...ah, FrostShakespearepiss!

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 02:59 PM

Also, I'm not entirely sure retards get in either.

Nah, I disagree. Because if they sin they can always say they didn't know any better.

Frogpop - doin' a heck of a job. 173,153 25
11/07/2005 03:00 PM

"Do the muslims know you're giving all the Christians 80 virgins?"

HartmanTwins - Victim of the Point of View Gun 10,131 10
11/07/2005 03:01 PM

Hart-man! Please don't make me whine. I was just saying that somebody gave Dit crap in another thread and telling her she's condemned to hell is probably not the best way to raise her spirits. I got no beef with you.



Ok.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/07/2005 03:01 PM

"So, You, Buddha and Vishnu walk into a bar... Oh, You heard this one?"

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
11/07/2005 03:02 PM

Do you fart?



Is Judas allowed?



Do you hate retarded people?



Who would win in a fight...Allah or Buddha?

Gorky Thatcher sings obladi oblada 41,132 13
11/07/2005 03:02 PM

Slams Jilly in the back of her head with a tire iron and then butt-rapes her.







Oops- sorry, God. Didn't know it was bad. Bleur. Gh.

JimmneyKritters2Korns 15,703 0
11/07/2005 03:02 PM

You are even lower on the totem pole than JK2K.



Sorry Ollie, I lied.

I'm older than 8.

Loverly Lila 78,555 13
11/07/2005 03:02 PM

Ollie was right. It's pretty much Jilly seeing that pic of me wearing a shirt that says Old Navy and going off on some tangent about me working for them (which I never have).

I guess she thinks everyone in the world who owns an Old Navy shirt also works for them. And people who own Calvin Klein jeans must work for him. And people who wear Donna Karen must work for her.



I almost wish my shirt said, "Jilly is a dumb Carroll" since she would fully accept that notion as well.

Senior Destructor....OF CRANBERRY SAUCE! 60,724 12
11/07/2005 03:03 PM

"This is heaven you say? So that means Jilly's not here, right?"

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 03:04 PM

Jilly, I wouldn't skull copulate you with a ten foot pole.

Oh please... your pants are on fire.

HartmanTwins - Victim of the Point of View Gun 10,131 10
11/07/2005 03:05 PM

Nah, I disagree. Because if they sin they can always say they didn't know any better.



Soooo...what you're saying is that, although you're an intellectually impaired retard, you're still going to heaven?

JimmneyKritters2Korns 15,703 0
11/07/2005 03:06 PM

lilaculpepper is not the mystery orb filler.

HartmanTwins - Victim of the Point of View Gun 10,131 10
11/07/2005 03:06 PM

Oh please... your pants are on fire.



If you give me a playboy, some KY and 3.6 seconds, I'll put that fire out for you.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/07/2005 03:10 PM

Oh please... your pants are on fire



OLLIE DOESN'T WEAR PANTS!



Jilly, Since you cant Schtick with your own schtick, Can you at least pay mind to everyone elses?

Gorky Thatcher sings obladi oblada 41,132 13
11/07/2005 03:12 PM

By your failure to properly capitalize 'Playboy', as in the magazine, may I infer you're a homo, HT?

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/07/2005 03:13 PM

OLLIE DOESN'T WEAR PANTS!



Well.. Then I guess thats a good thing, if they're on fire.



</obligatory>

Mr. Sir: lovin' some sweet 'tater pie. 66,727 9
11/07/2005 03:14 PM

If green raccoons weren't meant to be eaten, why do they look so delicious?

Phuc 237,919 21
11/07/2005 03:17 PM

"O mighty God, creator of the universe: Can you make a rock so big...











































...that it would, like totally squish Jilly?"

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 03:20 PM

Soooo...what you're saying is that, although you're an intellectually impaired retard, you're still going to heaven?

Exactly.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
11/07/2005 03:25 PM

Jilly,



God hates you. Why do you think your state is under water, your boyfriend is cheating on you, your biggest thrill this year was going to your high school reunion, the scars on your head from your mom trying to abort you with a wire hanger, and no one likes you.



Try the wrist violin with razor blades.





Me

Roasted Raccoon with Stuffing 56,688 10
11/07/2005 03:30 PM

Mr. Sir, that tickled me in a way that if Loretta tickled me that way I would say "Oh yeah, that's nice. that's the spot."

Ditdah 123,110 14
11/07/2005 03:30 PM

somebody gave Dit crap in another thread and telling her she's condemned to hell is probably not the best way to raise her spirits.



Jilly, while I appreciate the thoughts, HT didn't upset me. I know he's being funny. Hell, even if he's serious, he's not the first to tell me I'm going to hell for sleeping with women. I can handle it.



And the Frosttard in the other thread didn't bother me either - I've got a thick skin.

The Baptist 1,672 8
11/07/2005 03:35 PM

(insert your own thick skin joke here)

Mr. Sir: lovin' some sweet 'tater pie. 66,727 9
11/07/2005 03:36 PM

<insert your own "The Baptist" is a Frost-ing retarded, non-funny, assclown joke here>

Miracles Gets the Wishbone 22,430 0
11/07/2005 03:36 PM

James Gumb loves girls with thick skin.



PUT THE DOG IN THE Frost-ing BASKET!

The Baptist 1,672 8
11/07/2005 03:38 PM

Ouch. Keep that up and you may just hurt my feelings.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/07/2005 03:39 PM

I've been playing my guitar a hell-of-a-Shakespeareload more lately, and I'm growing my Callouses back.



</thick skin>



Knock Knock..



</joke>

JimmneyKritters2Korns 15,703 0
11/07/2005 03:40 PM

Dammit................. I was working on daydream #2 and missed all teh funnies.

TableTopJane-Ridin' my Jesus horse 173,958 15
11/07/2005 03:40 PM

I thought his name was Jame, Miracles. Wasn't there a mistake on his birth cert., something like the nurse had left the "S" off?

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 03:50 PM

BIG,

Why isn't your pic in the photo album? I bet I know why. Because you are a fat disgusting loser and I seriously feel sorry for you because you are such a hateful Frost-ing bastard. Your parents must have really done a number on you. You retarded evil fatass piece of Shakespeare. Oh, I hate you.

dick fernandez 714 8
11/07/2005 03:52 PM

But how do you really feel? Wait, who cares?

Loverly Lila 78,555 13
11/07/2005 03:52 PM

Either Jilly just got possessed or she's in a Shakespeareload of trouble for talking to BIG that way.

Ditdah 123,110 14
11/07/2005 03:53 PM

Wow - all day long you've been saying you love him. Now you hate him.



I'm confused.

Aimless could blow any day now 54,807 10
11/07/2005 03:53 PM

Questions for God:



Why did you make some men with a really little penis? Is it punishment for the man or the woman he ends up with?



How come you let some people screw sheep? Why do you hate sheep so much?



and last...



Whenever Terri Schavo would smile or say something that was just you Frost-ing with the family, wasn't it big guy?

dick fernandez 714 8
11/07/2005 03:54 PM

Why is Bert, in fact, evil?

Miracles Gets the Wishbone 22,430 0
11/07/2005 03:57 PM

I thought his name was Jame, Miracles.



I don't know. I just know he likes size 14's. I'm so glad I dropped a bunch of weight cause I am way off his radar now.

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 03:57 PM

You know, Dit, you can't win around here. I was trying to be nice. But someone telling me God hates me sends shivers up my spine. That just really struck a cord in me. and not in a good way.

Gorky Thatcher has 3 21st chromosones! 41,132 13
11/07/2005 03:57 PM

BIG's pic isn't in the photo album because he isn't real, duh Jilly.



At least that what I tell myself when he makes me cry.

Loverly Lila 78,555 13
11/07/2005 03:59 PM

<action>jumps up and down, clapping</action>We found her weak spot! We found her weak spot! Get 'er, boys!!!

Gorky Thatcher has 3 21st chromosones! 41,132 13
11/07/2005 03:59 PM

But someone telling me God hates me sends shivers up my spine. That just really struck a cord in me.



Do you read any of our posts, woman?

Senior Destructor....OF CRANBERRY SAUCE! 60,724 12
11/07/2005 03:59 PM

When Big makes me cry, I tell myself it's because he loves me.

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 03:59 PM

Either Jilly just got possessed or she's in a excrementload of trouble for talking to BIG that way.



pssst... hey Lila- this isn't real life. It's an internet message board.

Phuc 237,919 21
11/07/2005 04:00 PM

That just really struck a cord in me. and not in a good way.



Well, I just talked to God on my lunchbreak. When I asked him to smite you, a beam of light shown on me from above and a voice like a choir of angels said, "Frost-ing A. I been waiting for one of you to ax me that!"

Mr. Sir: lovin' some sweet 'tater pie. 66,727 9
11/07/2005 04:00 PM

What?!

Oliver Chest: Commited to Sparkle Motion 203,475 12
11/07/2005 04:01 PM

Yes, his name was Jame. They left off the S on the birth certificate. He demanded to be called Jame, and not Jamie, how one would think it would be pronounced.

JimmneyKritters2Korns 15,703 0
11/07/2005 04:01 PM

BIG,

Why isn't your pic in the photo album? I bet I know why. Because you are a fat disgusting loser and I seriously feel sorry for you because you are such a hateful Frost-ing bastard. Your parents must have really done a number on you. You retarded evil fatass piece of Shakespeare. Oh, I hate you.



I told ya'll.



Jilly has BALLS!!

Oliver Chest: Commited to Sparkle Motion 203,475 12
11/07/2005 04:02 PM

Jilly, don't worry. It's not you that God hates. It's the rest of us, and you're our punishment.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/07/2005 04:02 PM

GOD IS BLACK!?

Loverly Lila 78,555 13
11/07/2005 04:02 PM

Al, that wasn't God, that was Jay.

He then said, "What the Frost does that mean? Has everyone gone Frostin' nuts? What the Frost happened to that guy's head? I want some..."

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/07/2005 04:03 PM

Alternately:



GOD IS JONOTHAN TORRENS FROM TRAILER PARK BOYS?!

Gorky Thatcher put his weiner in the gravy 41,132 13
11/07/2005 04:04 PM

<tangent>

When I changed my name earlier, I forgot to make it Thanksgiving related

</tangent>



God- why did the gravy taste funny in 2005?

dick fernandez 714 8
11/07/2005 04:05 PM

This is what it sounds like

When tards cry.

JimmneyKritters2Korns 15,703 0
11/07/2005 04:05 PM

a beam of light shown on me from above and a voice like a choir of angels said, "Frost-ing A. I been waiting for one of you to ax me that!"



Sorry. That beam of light was a harmless "sound powered" laser.

Mr. Sir: lovin' some sweet 'tater pie. 66,727 9
11/07/2005 04:06 PM

Hat, I love that show. It makes me laugh so hard that my spleen aches.



It is on BBC America occasionly.

Studly McBeefcakes 14,139 11
11/07/2005 04:06 PM

If sodomy is wrong, why dose it feel so right?

Studly McBeefcakes 14,139 11
11/07/2005 04:07 PM

Wait! That's not what I'd ask at all!

Senior Destructor....OF CRANBERRY SAUCE! 60,724 12
11/07/2005 04:09 PM

You should ask him how to spell "does."

Loverly Lila 78,555 13
11/07/2005 04:09 PM

pssst... hey Lila- this isn't real life. It's an internet message board.



pssst... hey Jilly- I never said anything about real life or a message board.

Also, by the way, everyone who wears an Old Navy shirt does in fact work for Old Navy.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/07/2005 04:09 PM

Tis indeed an awesome show.



I've partied (Read: been in the same bar, purchasing intoxicants at the same long wooden platform) with them on 2 different occasions.



Its a Promotion thing to go out and get wasted in character, I think.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/07/2005 04:14 PM

I work at Emerica!

</ralph wiggum>

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 04:26 PM

pssst... hey Jilly- I never said anything about real life or a message board.

YEAH, Morticia- ya did. You said I was going to be "in trouble". Am I going to get a time out?

Miracles Gets the Wishbone 22,430 0
11/07/2005 04:28 PM

Lila,



Is the only reason you are chill with me now because you have a new girl to pick on?



Or do you really want to make out with me for reals?



Mir

McPants with the daylight in his eyes 19,555 11
11/07/2005 04:29 PM

<action>leans back to enjoy the catfight</action>It's ok. I can ask god my question later.

Erika of Magrathea 76,152 9
11/07/2005 04:30 PM

No Jilly, everyone is just going to hate you more than they already did. If that is possible.



And before you go reminding anyone else about how this is just an internet messageboard, perhaps you could remind yourself not to get so bent out of shape when someone makes a joke about God hating you.

HartmanTwins - Victim of the Point of View Gun 10,131 10
11/07/2005 04:32 PM

For what it's worth, I think Jilly can be pretty funny.



Granted, not as funny as Zolton or Hat or Ditdah or Phuc or Ollie or Big or Mr Sir or BobJohnson or Chance or Frogpop or Fratberry or Chickens or Senior Destructor or Chris Garrett...

HartmanTwins - Victim of the Point of View Gun 10,131 10
11/07/2005 04:32 PM

...or Table Top Jane or Aimless or Whistler or Chi Chi or Mailman or Brody or Erika or Jep or Declan or Filly, but she's pretty damn funny.

Gorky Thatcher put his weiner in the gravy 41,132 13
11/07/2005 04:33 PM

God hates you, erika. He hates all the women of GAB.



But if they send booby pics to all the (straight) men of GAB, you will all be forgiven.

Dios 714 8
11/07/2005 04:33 PM

when someone makes a joke about God hating you.



Joke?

Dios 714 8
11/07/2005 04:41 PM

Oh, and while we are at it, it turns out I'm actually just a minor deity, but most of your questions can be answered with a simple "because I can" and "yes, you are on a time out, so stop typing."

Piquantrax - Cereal Killer 8,691 9
11/07/2005 04:41 PM

<action>righting the capsized thread</action>I would say this: "Was Mary really a virgin?"

Kelc the kiwi girl 1,019 7
11/07/2005 04:44 PM

Hi God,

It's me, Margaret.

Why do monkeys throw poop?

Senior Destructor....OF CRANBERRY SAUCE! 60,724 12
11/07/2005 04:45 PM

Dude, Piquanaxsiwerljk, aren't you a Jew?



You're not going to heaven, silly.

dick fernandez 714 8
11/07/2005 04:47 PM

Damn it, who bumped Squeamish's invisible thread?

Oliver Chest: Commited to Sparkle Motion 203,475 12
11/07/2005 04:49 PM

I could tell you, but it defeats the purpose of having a thread that you have to think a little about in order to get into.

Loverly Lila 78,555 13
11/07/2005 05:11 PM

Why is it calling me Morticia? I don't have long hair or a slinky black dress.

But Morticia is hot like fire so thanks for the compliment, ya dumb Carroll!

JimmneyKritters2Korns 15,703 0
11/07/2005 05:21 PM

Would you like a peanut?



You said peanut...."Dumm Gabbber"!

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 05:30 PM

hot

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 05:36 PM

BIG I found your pic

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/07/2005 05:39 PM

heheh yeah Lila. here's your compliment.

15,703 0
11/07/2005 05:41 PM

I tried Jilly........... I tried

Loverly Lila 78,555 13
11/08/2005 05:50 AM

Jill, you're going to have to explain the Morticia thing to me because your intelligence level is obviously FAR superior to mine and that must be why I don't know what the Frost you are talking about.

Cruz, keeping it real since 1985 9,993 12
11/08/2005 06:00 AM

your intelligence level is obviously FAR superior to mine



Well if thats the case you're in good company Jilly 'cos that could be said about pretty much anyone else on Gab

Loverly Lila 78,555 13
11/08/2005 06:08 AM

Hey, I'm not expecting much from someone who assumes anyone wearing a shirt listing the name of a company is an employee of said company.

In other words, a dumb Carroll.

Phuc 237,919 21
11/08/2005 10:53 AM

Log in for your clickies, damn you!!!

Auntie Sloopy Gizzardsprinkle Trixxie 65,026 15
11/08/2005 11:10 AM

"How come there aren't any Republicans, Televangelists, or Fundamentalist Christians here?"

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/08/2005 11:13 AM

"Who's dick to you gotta suck to get a Daquiri around here!?"

Gorky Thatcher put his weiner in the gravy 41,132 13
11/08/2005 11:15 AM

All those times I touched myself with women's underwear...were you really watching, you sick Frost?

Suicide Ranger with Poison Turkey for the Pilgrims 27,937 12
11/08/2005 11:17 AM

Where are all the white people?

The Baptist 1,672 8
11/08/2005 11:17 AM

Dear God,



What was your motivation behind putting all the organs involved with bodily functions and sex within a 3 inch radius of each other?

I AM WHAT I AM! 15,437 9
11/08/2005 11:24 AM

Your questions are amusing, but the answers have been in front of you all along!



Where were you when I created the universe?



Where were you when I created comedy?



You blame me for the evil in life, when I gave you all free will!



You give me credit for the good in life, when I gave you all free will!



Get a clue! This is a test! This is only a test. For the next eyeblink of a moment in comparison to the totality of my plan, you will be tested.



Oh, by the way, how did you all like my whole "Carrot Top" thing?

Gabriel suggested "Broccoli Top", but I thought carrots would be funnier.



Peace out.

The Baptist 1,672 8
11/08/2005 11:28 AM

I do rather enjoy a good Carrot Top show. Although please enlighten me to why you thought Will Farell was a good idea. Be honest, that was Jesus wasn't it?

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
11/08/2005 11:33 AM

I do rather enjoy a good Carrot Top show.



I too, would enjoy a good Carrot Top show, but I don't think such a thing exists.

Gorky Thatcher put his weiner in the gravy 41,132 13
11/08/2005 11:34 AM

I do rather enjoy a good Carrot Top show.



Satan posts amongst us!

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,693 8
11/08/2005 11:35 AM

No Jilly, everyone is just going to hate you more than they already did. If that is possible.

Erika - you hate me? Who else TRULY hates me here?

The Baptist 1,672 8
11/08/2005 11:37 AM

Ok, so he's no Pauly Shore but...

The Baptist 1,672 8
11/08/2005 11:45 AM

If God is a woman, what size bra does she wear?

Oliver Chest: Committed to Sparkle Motion 203,475 12
11/08/2005 11:46 AM

<action>raises his hand</action>

Zolton Desiato, Dead for Tax Reasons 88,200 34
11/08/2005 11:48 AM

Who else TRULY hates me here?



Jebus. Finally, Jilly finds a thread worth starting, and she wastes the question in a post.



Some people never learn.

The Baptist 1,672 8
11/08/2005 11:49 AM

Any guesses class... Oh how about you Oliver?

Erika of Magrathea 76,152 9
11/08/2005 11:49 AM

Jilly I don't really hate you. I don't know you or care enough to have such a strong feeling about you. Honestly, sometimes I even think you are funny. Sometimes.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/08/2005 11:55 AM

Jilly just doesn't know any better.



Now I go into my GAB as a Keg Party thing again.



She'd be able to see all of our expressions of "Uhh.. Yeah.. Riiiight." after all of her jokes, If Gab was a Keg Party.



She'd be the girl getting tipsy after a failed attempt at a beer bong, and getting upset when we all razz her for spilling 89% of the bong contents, If Gab was a Keg Party.



She'd be the girl telling jokes, giggling to herself about them, and then running off to tell the same joke to someone else, 5 feet away, who actually heard her the first time and was trying to ignore her, If Gab was a Keg Party.

Erika of Magrathea 76,152 9
11/08/2005 11:57 AM

<action>wishes GAB was a keg party</action>Oh, not because of the whole Jilly thing. I just really need a beer right now.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/08/2005 12:00 PM

What a coincidence, I think I need to see you throating a girthy plastic tube with your eyes closed and head back.



And then I'm gonna need to go to Nutbutters thread and think about what I've done.

Miracles Gets the Wishbone 22,430 0
11/08/2005 12:03 PM

Hat, if GAB were a keg party you'd be the Emerson at the door selling plastic cups for $5 instead of the agreed upon $3 and pocketing the money.



Then you would use the money to buy Ollie some flowers since you are totally infatuated with him and want to be just like him.



Frost-ing follower.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/08/2005 12:05 PM

... At this point, I'd be the drunken Emerson who beats up a chick.

Miracles Gets the Wishbone 22,430 0
11/08/2005 12:06 PM

beats up a chick so you could steal her money and buy chocolates for Ollie.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/08/2005 12:06 PM

Yeah, You heard me SHP. You're going down!

Erika of Magrathea 76,152 9
11/08/2005 12:08 PM

Hat, don't kid yourself. SHP could totally kick your ass. In style.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/08/2005 12:09 PM

Yeah I know, I'm hoping to have her crush me with her bountiful bosoms!

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/08/2005 12:13 PM

<late>

Steal what money? It's all caked to the inside of your sinuses.

</late>

Oliver Chest: Committed to Sparkle Motion 203,475 12
11/08/2005 12:16 PM

Hat's late?! I swear, I wore a condom.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/08/2005 12:17 PM

<action> blushes </action>

Hey Ollie, Good to see you.



I bought you some Chocolates and this bottle of Cherry Scented anal lube.

Flanders Fields Sombrero 91,274 10
11/08/2005 12:18 PM

Okay, I lied.



I only bought the chocolates.

The bottle feels half-full because I swiped it from Miracle's purse after I beat her like a Red-headed step child.

Oliver Chest: Committed to Sparkle Motion 203,475 12
11/08/2005 12:24 PM

Ok Jilly. I don't hate you in real life, cause I don't actually know you.



I do think you are the worst GABber that has stuck around this long. Well, actually that's hard to say. It really is a toss up between you and JK2K.



In real life, I have no opinion of you. On GAB, you are a cancer.



I hope that clears things up for you!

Phuc 237,919 21
11/08/2005 12:27 PM

Aw c'mon--Jilly's OK.



We need an easy mark for those days when the funny has deserted us.

Loverly Lila 78,555 13
11/08/2005 12:30 PM

Someone told me earlier today that they prayed for me but they used my real name in the prayer instead of my nickname so they hoped God could tell the difference.



I said, "He prolly rolled His eyes and thought, "Jesus Christ, she hasn't gone by that name since junior high!" Then Jesus is all, "Dad! Don't use my name in vain!"



Then I had reveal that I stole that bit from Izzard. Jeezy Creezy.

HartmanTwins - Victim of the Point of View Gun 10,131 10
11/08/2005 12:33 PM

You can't really compare Jilly to JK.



I can understand if you don't like Jilly. I sometimes don't like her formatting or the fact that she takes everything so personally, but she can be funny.



JK is comparable to a yeast infected Poe. You know it's gross and disgusting but hey, it can't really hurt you.

Auntie Sloopy Gizzardsprinkle Trixxie 65,026 15
11/09/2005 08:30 AM

How come women got multiple orgasms and all we got was the ability to pee standing up?

TableTopJane-Ridin' my Jesus horse 173,958 15
11/09/2005 08:53 AM

Trixxie, we got the multiple Os to make up for that whole child birth thing.

Phuc 237,919 21
11/09/2005 08:56 AM

Ooooh! Did someone say they're serving Cheerios?