The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 129,259 14
11/23/2005 06:12 AM

Il se fait des couilles en or

- He makes a lot of money

- "He is making himself golden balls"



Cette fille, c'est un thon

- This girl is very ugly

- "This girl is a tuna fish"



Il n'a jamais tremp son biscuit

- He is still a virgin

- "He has never dipped his cookie"



Il nous en chie une pendule

- He's making a big fuss about it

- "He's Shakespeare-ing a wall clock about it"



Il nous en chie une pendule treize coups

- He's making a VERY big fuss about it

- "He's Shakespeare-ing a thirteen-stroke wall clock about it"



C'est un enculeur de mouches

- He's a nitpicker

- "He buttFrosts the flies"



Il a le cul bord de nouilles

- He is extremely lucky

- "He has noodles all around his ass"

dropkick brody: totally unarmed 41,382 9
11/23/2005 06:14 AM

Il branle le mammouth

- He procrastinates

- "He jerks off the mammoth"



Oh, I am working that into a sentence tomorrow.

McPants with the daylight in his eyes 19,246 9
11/23/2005 06:16 AM

Should I be proud that I knew a few of those?

RR: all-white breast meat please! 56,383 7
11/23/2005 06:18 AM

OH MY GOD. Those were Frost-ing awesome. I'm crying. My husband is crying. I don't think I've laughed that hard in a week.

Poppy Flowers 1,781 6
11/23/2005 06:26 AM

Un coup de geule.



I can't even remember what it means.

Humphrey B Bromidic 51,323 10
11/23/2005 06:28 AM

Really.very.Frost-ing.funny.

The Baptist 1,657 6
11/23/2005 06:29 AM

Une piece de merde



A piece of Shakespeare.

La Petite Mort de TableTopJane 168,544 11
11/23/2005 07:39 AM

Thanks, Mailman. I've been meaning to change my name back to this, but kept forgetting.

Uh-oh Army 0 0
11/23/2005 07:42 AM

Thanks Mailman for always ringing twice for me and for those great Francais phrases that I will definitely use when I am in France and maybe to some people in the US.

Freeze Dried Instant Mashed Potatoes 10,287 10
11/23/2005 08:03 AM

Mailman, should you acquire any more French slang expressions, please please please please send them my way.

The Baptist 1,657 6
11/23/2005 08:04 AM

Un trous de cul



An Emerson

Uh-oh Army 0 0
11/23/2005 08:04 AM

Yeah, when you are on your mail route in France can you also please give me some French slang.

The Baptist 1,657 6
11/23/2005 08:05 AM

Espece de putin





Son of a bitch

The Baptist 1,657 6
11/23/2005 08:10 AM

Sorry I'm Canadian, which means I meant all sorts of Quepeckers.

The Baptist 1,657 6
11/23/2005 08:10 AM

Sorry, meet all sorts of Quepeckers.

Ashleighster 464 5
11/23/2005 08:11 AM

Le Ze Competon



Don't know how to spell in french

SuGarD - Corned Beef & GABbage 2,699 5
11/23/2005 08:54 AM

Flavas of "Get Lost!" in Yiddish



Gai feifen ahfen yam!

- Go peddle your fish elsewhere!



Gai platz!

- Go split your guts!



Gai shlog dein kup en vant!

- Go bang your head against the wall!



Gai shoyn, gai!

- Scram! also, Don't be silly!



Gai strasheh di vantzen!

- Go threaten the bed bugs! (You don't scare me!)



Gai tren zich!

- Have a nice day.*



Geharget zolstu veren!

- You should get killed!



Ich hob dich in bod!

- I have you in the bath house! (Go to hell!)



Me ken lecken di finger! - It's delicious!



Shtup es in toches!

- Have a nice day.*







* Actual meaning may vary with use.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 129,259 14
11/23/2005 09:05 AM

The Baptist:



- une piece de merde: this expression is either a figment of your imagination, or the result of a bad Babelfish translation. It does not exist in Quebec or in France.



- un trous de cul: it is "un trou de cul" in Quebec, "un trou du cul" in France. Yes, it means "Emerson", both litterally and figuratively, just like in English.



- Espece de putin: the correct spelling is "putain", which means "whore". This expression, if I can call it that, does not mean "son of a bitch". The closest to "son of a bitch" in French is "fils de pute", which means "son of a whore".



- I meet all sorts of Quepeckers: because it's a well known fact that the inhabitants of Quebec are called "Quepeckers".



If you're gonna contribute to this thread, please post expressions that actually exist, and that have literal English translations that are somewhat funny, as opposed to straight insults. Also, spell them correctly. For instance:



Tu n'as pas invent le fil couper le beurre

- You are stupid

- "You have not invented the butter slicing wire"

Zolton, Lord of the Butterballs 70,177 8
11/23/2005 10:50 AM

Mailman runs a tight thread, dammit. Keep those posts funny, formatted, and in triads, or there'll be hell to pay! Bilingual hell!



(And no, I'm not really contributing anything; I'm just popping this past the recent flood, as it deserves front-page position. No need to buttFrost my flies over it, please.)

daisypie esq. 49,249 7
11/23/2005 12:24 PM

Mautadit tabarnac hostie!

Spork - Snorking at Neep's Request. 44,997 8
11/23/2005 12:37 PM

J'ai la ququette qui colle.

Neep: wants to shag Janeway. And Jodie Foster. 33,061 11
11/23/2005 12:48 PM

I went to copy/paste one of those to my French friend on msn, but she had signed out and I accidentally said it to someone else. He said "..."



I said "sorry, wrong convo". I would have explained and he would have found it amusing, but last night he told me that there were no such things as profiles on mozilla and to try formatting my c drive. Grrr...

Nice Guy Eddy 133 5
11/23/2005 06:09 PM

-Il c'est fait pter la cents

-he's not an ass virgin anymore

-he just got his penny poped



or so i've heard...

Nice Guy Eddy 133 5
11/23/2005 06:23 PM

il chie de la broue

-he's lying

-brew his comming out of his ass

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,640 6
11/23/2005 06:25 PM

Royale with cheese.

I got nothin.

lupience, forgot the Gizzard pouch again 26,463 6
11/23/2005 06:27 PM

Syo paaska rekka nokka.

"Eat Shakespeare, snot nose."

in misspelled Finnish

McPants with the daylight in his eyes 19,246 9
11/23/2005 08:18 PM

Syo paaska rekka nokka.



I think you'll find it's spelled in the following way:



"Sy paska, rknokka".

lupience, forgot the Gizzard pouch again 26,463 6
11/23/2005 08:20 PM

Thank you pants. I knew I could count on you. My dad only taught me to say these things, not spell them.

Here, have some lasagna.

McPants with the daylight in his eyes 19,246 9
11/23/2005 09:18 PM

Mmm., Lasagna.



Did you ever try Mmmi, Lupe? That is a truly exotic Finnish dessert dish. The perfect food for gabbers I'd say.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 129,259 14
11/23/2005 09:46 PM

I said 'ils branlent les voitures'. PLEASE tell me I didn't only say 'they jerk off cars'



I'm afraid you did. You certainly meant 'ils brûlent les voitures' (they burn cars).





Mailman, I think I love you.



You "think"? Anything I can do to make you sure of it?

lupience, forgot the Gizzard pouch again 26,463 6
11/23/2005 09:57 PM

McPants- not that I know of- all I remember is my dad making fillia(sp -10)that nasty snot yogurt.

lupience, forgot the Gizzard pouch again 26,463 6
11/23/2005 10:00 PM

McPants-translate

McPants with the daylight in his eyes 19,246 9
11/23/2005 10:23 PM

Lupience,



That yoghurt stuff is rather common in Sweden too. My dad eats it all the time.



I could try to make a translation of the recipe, however it only explains a very weird way of using Mmmi together with some highly questionable orange cheese spread. It involves several ingredients that could never be found in the U.S. and frankly it sounds very disgusting to me.



I'm guessing you're looking for a recipe for Mmmi and I'll see if I can find one for you.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,414 6
11/23/2005 10:24 PM

<action>doing my best "John Wayne"...</action>



"Pard'on me, mad gazelle. Wouldjoo like a parlor vous' of mah bedware?"









(sorry, it's the best French that I have.)

McPants with the daylight in his eyes 19,246 9
11/23/2005 10:24 PM

Here's one.

Prof. Fantabulous 19,573 9
11/24/2005 12:50 AM

This is a bit of a French dialect spoken around Canadian Forces Bases, especially at or near night life establishments.



You me throw coat both side road, go whole bunch!

- Would you like to fight?

Uh-oh Army 0 0
11/24/2005 01:39 AM

I'll French fight you.

The Baptist 1,657 6
11/24/2005 01:53 AM

En guarde monsieur.

lupience, forgot the Gizzard pouch again 26,463 6
11/24/2005 01:58 AM

*pants*

Uh-oh Army 0 0
11/24/2005 02:00 AM

punch (in French)

kick (in French)

spin (in French)

win (in French)

SweetKnockedUpBritches - For A Limited Time Only!! 3,342 6
11/24/2005 02:03 AM

Ce n'est pas ma soeur, c'est un sandwich du fromage.



That's the very first complete sentence I learned in French class, 8 years ago. I am so cool. Yes, after 5 years of French, that is all I currently remember. Sigh.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 129,259 14
11/24/2005 02:13 AM

Ce n'est pas ma soeur, c'est un sandwich du fromage.



"This is not my sister, it is a cheese sandwich."



Tell me, where did you learn French?

Freeze Dried Instant Mashed Potatoes 10,287 10
11/24/2005 02:19 AM

"Je fasait un tee-teeai quand la telephone a sonne."



Mailman, please tell me that translates to:

"I was peeing when the phone rang."

SweetKnockedUpBritches - For A Limited Time Only!! 3,342 6
11/24/2005 02:27 AM

Mailman,



I began french classes my sophomore year of highschool. Unfortunately, I am geographically located in the middle of Spanish Speaking America. I continued through my senior year, then went on as a French Major at NMSU. There I studied for a year and a half. I soon decided that I liked drugs and alcohol better than French, so I quit school to further my new studies. Je comprends du Franais, mais most of my brain cells have disappeared.



Grosses Bises,

SB

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 129,259 14
11/24/2005 02:39 AM

Mailman, please tell me that translates to:

"I was peeing when the phone rang."



Yes, that is what it means, IF:

- you replace "fasait" with "faisais"

- you replace "la" with "le"

- you add the accents on the word "téléphone"

- you add an accent on the word "sonné"

- you replace "tee-teeai" (that word is not French. Cambodian perhaps?) with "pipi"

- you don't mind talking French like a little child ("je faisais un pipi" is child speak)



---



I soon decided that I liked drugs and alcohol better than French



Makes sense. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option open to me, as French is my mother tongue.

J.W.-with marshmallows on top 24,640 6
11/24/2005 02:40 AM

mother tongue



Isn't there a better way to say that? It makes me feel weird.

SweetKnockedUpBritches - For A Limited Time Only!! 3,342 6
11/24/2005 02:45 AM

Mailman, I now have an internet crush on you. I really wish I would have stayed on top of the my French. I have some excellent reading material that I use to put me to sleep read sometimes. Like I said, I can understand enough to get me by. Plus, since Spanish and French are in the same family, I have the added benefit of knowing what people are talking about when they assume I don't understand the Spanish because I'm white. Ils sont btes.

0 to speeding ticket in a very short time 35 5
02/10/2010 07:02 PM

Kuste kloten (dutch)

- Forget about it

- "Kiss the balls"

TWSS - Yup. 14,349 8
02/10/2010 09:45 PM

I love this thread.

Ce n'est pas ma soeur, c'est un sandwich du fromage.
"This is not my sister, it is a cheese sandwich."
Tell me, where did you learn French?

Everyday French with Pierre Escargo?

Madness 1,326 5
02/11/2010 01:48 PM

So, people from North America Shakespeare bricks in times of great stress, while Frenchies Shakespeare wall clocks...

Shakespeare-ing bricks has a better ring to it, while Shakespeare-ing wall clocks is more practical.

"What time is it?"
"Don't have a watch, sorry"
"I boned your wife"
"YOU MOTHER FU.... 5:30"

JUST PRETEND THAT WAS IN FRENCH OK?