Sexual Harassment Raccoon 56,688 10
11/23/2005 10:21 PM

Want me to come over an finish your floor?

Fratberry 283,018 53
11/23/2005 10:25 PM

I'd love for you to come over and work on my wood.

Fratberry 283,018 53
11/23/2005 10:25 PM

floors.

Rambunctious_Pie 170 9
11/23/2005 11:28 PM

Then maybe when you're done I can come over and help lay some carpet.

Scorpion is Barely Legal. 4,080 9
11/24/2005 12:10 AM

Frat, you'rs saying your wife now has a hardwood floor?



Congratulations man. No more itching for you!

Yorkie Destructor: Mix 'n Match 60,724 12
11/24/2005 12:11 AM

Itching?

Yorkie Destructor: Mix 'n Match 60,724 12
11/24/2005 12:14 AM

On an unrelated note, I seem to have made myself burritos that have strictly become sour cream transport devices.

Fratberry 283,018 53
11/24/2005 12:26 AM

We were thinking of putting down slate in the rest of the house (kitchen, laundry room, bathrooms) but now that I think about it, a floor made out of sour cream burritos sounds much more practical.



And less itchy?

natethyn 106 7
11/24/2005 12:29 AM

I hate remodeling.



We cut out cement in the basement just to put windows in for the two bedrooms.





Frost, and we're painting the walls on the main floor. It was white before, and now it's blue.







Frost-ing looks like Shakespeare.

Fratberry 283,018 53
11/24/2005 01:00 AM

Hey. You. Get offa my cloud.

Nathyn: unbannable 106 7
11/24/2005 01:02 AM

Sorry, but I just had to say that my family was remodeling. I makes me feel cule.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
11/24/2005 01:02 AM

Nathyn,

Stop posting like a human being.



You're confusing people.

daisypie esq. 49,378 9
11/24/2005 01:31 AM

I've got to call fat daughter. Frat, if your new floor is that snap together floating floor stuff, not only is it not hardwood, it quite likely isn't any sort of wood at all! ...but not that there's anything wrong with that.



*Psst* The Home Depot is soon to be having 20% off actual hardwood flooring.

newwave 45,912 10
11/24/2005 01:46 AM

Yeah, I was thinking more like a Lego floor. Probably not too comfortable on bare feet, but totally sweet for building shelves or mini helipads onto.

Fratberry 283,018 53
11/24/2005 03:01 AM

Ok, Daisypie starts dating a Home Depot employee and now he's a know it all on all of their products.



It's like the Pergo Shakespeare, mmkay? Laminate. There. Happy? I meant to mention it but I left that out. Bastard.

Fratberry 283,018 53
11/24/2005 03:07 AM

Dammit, where'd I put that stupid undo button?

Sexual Harassment Raccoon 56,688 10
11/24/2005 08:58 AM

I know exactly what Pergo flooring is and it is an excellent choice for many reasons. Hardwood is also an excellent choice for many reasons. I think Fratberry and Daisypie should duel with old-timey pistols that might not even work.

Nachos 57,521 23
11/24/2005 09:29 AM

<action>hands out the pistols, shot and gunpowder</action>



What? You wanted old-limey pistols and that's what you've got!

Nachos 57,521 23
11/24/2005 09:29 AM

Ohhhh....

daisypie esq. 49,378 9
11/24/2005 11:41 AM

It's like the Pergo Shakespeare...



You got a cheap imitation of cheap imitation flooring?

daisypie esq. 49,378 9
11/24/2005 11:44 AM

My cats vs. Frat's cats in an old-timey steel cage deathmatch!

Fratberry 283,018 53
11/24/2005 12:06 PM

I'll agree to that. But if my cats don't outnumber yours then I truly am worried about you.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
11/24/2005 12:36 PM

bump

Bonky 75,733 15
11/24/2005 12:47 PM

I did it myselfered my wood floors in the entry way and front hall. Had I not been a doof, I would have done the bathroom floor at the same time, but I thought I wanted something else in there besides wood.



I went with concrete floors until I found the right tiles and put them in. Now, I really wish I would have continued the wood.





Wood in the bathroom, nuts on the chest, balls on the chin, dick in the mouth. I knew there was a joke in there somewhere!

Humphrey B Bromidic 51,764 12
11/24/2005 06:33 PM

umpb

larkknot 3,359 10
11/24/2005 11:51 PM

I have 6 cats right now - two of them are sleeping on my arms and making it hard to type. I'm faced with the choice of amputating... or waking the cats. Where's that bonesaw?

Humphrey B Buck Naked 51,764 12
11/24/2005 11:54 PM

So cut off your arms and show us your Poe.

Humphrey B Buck Naked 51,764 12
11/24/2005 11:54 PM

That reminds me, I need to rent Boxing Helena again.

The Baptist 1,672 8
11/24/2005 11:57 PM

Nothing better than amputee sex with a gregorian chant playing in the backgroung.

Bonky 75,733 15
11/25/2005 09:13 AM

Fenn did a better(?) job as Helena than Basinger would have.









I'm just saying, I'd rather have sex with someone who hasn't had sex with Alec Baldwin. IS THAT SO WRONG?

Bonky 75,733 15
11/26/2005 12:40 PM

I've changed my mind. I rather have sex with Alec Baldwin (ala Malice) than Alec Baldwin (ala Will & Grace).

daisypie esq. 49,378 9
11/26/2005 08:15 PM

Damn, who's the Swede who gave me the one-dinger for making fun of their flooring?

McPants sees the sky about to rain 19,555 11
11/26/2005 08:18 PM

Damn, who's the Swede who gave me the one-dinger for making fun of their flooring?



I'm the only Swede who posts regularly right now but it certainly wasn't me.

Please accept this three-orb as a token of our people's esteem.

McPants sees the sky about to rain 19,555 11
11/26/2005 08:20 PM

[some assembly required]

daisypie esq. 49,378 9
11/26/2005 08:23 PM

Good one, McP. I will think of them as three little Swedish meatballs.

The Coffee Masta 19 7
11/26/2005 08:25 PM

Fratberry, it's quite easy just pay someone to do it I mean hard earned cash isn't a problem, unless you want me to do it, then there would be potholes.

The Coffee Masta 19 7
11/26/2005 08:29 PM

My foot itches

daisypie esq. 49,378 9
11/26/2005 08:30 PM

What. The. Frost?







...On second thought, I don't want to know.

Fratberry 283,018 53
11/30/2005 09:35 AM

Ok, the seams have been sanded and the floor is level. The installers are coming out tomorrow to give it another shot. I seem to remember the Druids having a prayer for wood but does anybody know of any sect that has a prayer for wood laminate? The stuff is made in Germany if that helps at all.



Ikea maybe?

Bankey 70,843 10
11/30/2005 09:47 AM

a prayer for wood



Yeah, I seem to remember it going something like:



"Oh... Oh God... I swear baby, this has never happened before! YOU BETTER NOT TELL ANYONE BITCH! I'LL Frost-ing CUT YOU!"

Ditdah 123,110 14
11/30/2005 09:53 AM

And you guys wonder why we don't let the gay thing drop.

Fratberry 283,018 53
11/30/2005 10:26 AM

Hey, its not like gay men do a lot of home improvement proje... DAMMIT!

Before Reindeer Santa Used Chickens 286,539 61
11/30/2005 10:42 AM

I've had both, and I really liked the ease and finish of the pergo. Only downside I could find was with the prefinished floor, you could not sand down the occasional edge that will inevitibly show.



This is a given on the solid hardwoods, as they are all about the sanding and finishing as a whole.



The pergo is still kickass for over basement concrete floors, but I will have to say stick with the regular hardwood upstairs.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
11/30/2005 10:50 AM

On a completely related note;



I love do it yourselfers, after they spend twice as much money and labor time to Frost it up, I get to come in and charge whatever I want to fix it.



Do it yourselfers double my income.



Hooray Do-It-Yourselfers!



And, Hooray Beer!

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
11/30/2005 11:00 AM

Does anyone else find it funny that Chickens posted "I've had both..." right after the gay jokes?







Yeah. Me neither.

Pubah 56,805 18
11/30/2005 11:02 AM

Some can't resist Bananna Republic sales



I can't resist springtime at Home Depot/Diy/Lowes...



...If only I had a home to improve or real money to spend.

Fratberry 283,018 53
11/30/2005 11:22 AM

The laminate was a better choice for us because of the scratch factor and the cats. All of them still have their claws and the one hardwood section we had around the foyer got pretty goobered up. Also it was cheaper so we could do every area that previously had carpet. I do think it will feel more like a hardwood floor since we're on a crawlspace.



Poop.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
11/30/2005 11:31 AM

Random thought # 42.1;



If you replace the nouns in Chix's post with "gay sex", this is what you get;



I've had both, and I really liked the ease and finish of the gay sex. Only downside I could find was with the prefinished gay sex, you could not sand down the occasional gay sex that will inevitibly show.



This is a given on the gay sex hardwoods, as they are all about the sanding and finishing as a whole.



The gay sex is still kickass for over basement concrete gay sex, but I will have to say stick with the regular gay sex upstairs.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
11/30/2005 12:43 PM

. . . And if you modify Frat's post, (heh heh, Frat's post), with carefully placed; "Fisting" and "Anal lube". . . .



The fisting was a better choice for us because of the scratch factor and the cats. All of them still have their anal lube and the one fisting section we had around the foyer got pretty goobered up. Also it was cheaper so we could do every area that previously had anal lube. I do think it will feel more like a fisting floor since we're on a crawlspace.



Poop.

Fratberry 283,018 53
12/01/2005 09:46 PM

Update: (because I know you were all wondering...oh go to hell)



Ok, so the furniture's not all back in place and the cats don't normally eat in the bedroom but overall, its not too bad.

Bankey 70,843 10
12/01/2005 09:48 PM

Okay, that didn't gross me out, I've seen it too many times.



My wife, on the other hand...

Fratberry 283,018 53
12/01/2005 09:51 PM

Hahahahaha.

Bankey 70,843 10
12/01/2005 09:52 PM

Yeah, let's see who's laughing next time you wanna go catch a game.





Won't be us.

Fratberry 283,018 53
12/01/2005 09:53 PM

Meh, we had a good run.

Fratberry 283,018 53
12/01/2005 09:54 PM

Bankey, call me. Bastid.

Bankey 70,843 10
12/01/2005 09:55 PM

get online biatch

Fratberry 283,018 53
12/01/2005 09:57 PM

I am. You, on the other hand, are NOT.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
12/01/2005 09:58 PM

Get a room with hardwood floors, you two!

Fratberry 283,018 53
12/01/2005 09:59 PM

Frost. I could have driven over there and pantsed him by now.

RR: naughty and nice 56,688 10
12/01/2005 10:01 PM

So. Aroused?

Fratberry 283,018 53
12/01/2005 10:19 PM

Heh, Bankey was drunk.

daisypie 49,378 9
12/01/2005 11:39 PM

What a great looking place you got there, Frat!





...even makes your new ersatz flooring look good.

SuGarD - Corned Beef & GABbage 2,724 8
12/02/2005 12:03 AM

I've had both, and I really liked the ease and finish of the prego.



Chickens, I don't know squat about flooring. I thought you were making jokes about finishing floors with women's backs.



The [prego] is still kickass for over basement concrete floors, but I will have to say stick with the regular hardwood upstairs.

Fratberry 283,018 53
12/02/2005 12:05 AM

...even makes your new ersatz flooring look good.



Thanks Chickens Jr.

daisypie 49,378 9
12/02/2005 12:07 AM

Sorry, sometimes I just can't help it... IT'S THE ICON!!

daisypie 49,378 9
12/02/2005 12:08 AM

...and I love to use the word 'ersatz'.

Fratberry 283,018 53
12/02/2005 12:25 AM

Yeah? Well I'm better than any of you poor, tree hugging, earth biscuit, commie pinko fags.

Fratberry 283,018 53
12/02/2005 12:26 AM

Wow, you're right.

Rent: Seasons of Phla - Merry Christmas, bitches! 131,068 34
12/02/2005 12:28 AM

I have just decided to stop saying I'm picking up my dog's poops, and to start saying I'm picking up my dog's 'earth biscuits.'