SHP, get your own damn sugarplums 181,790 70
12/07/2005 10:46 AM

Tastes great. Less filling.

Chance: All your babies belong to me 171,275 14
12/07/2005 10:46 AM

<action> walks up to hot guy in bar </action>



Hey, so.. how you feel about tuna?

Who Needs Presents When You've Got SweetBritches? 3,351 8
12/07/2005 10:47 AM

Come on baby....Nobody does it like Sara Lee!!

Chance: All your babies belong to me 171,275 14
12/07/2005 10:48 AM

Oh and if he's like into the enviroment and Shakespeare:



"There will be no dolphins harmed when you catch my tuna."

SHP, get your own damn sugarplums 181,790 70
12/07/2005 10:50 AM

Mmmm... Mmm.. Mmm.... Toasty.

Chance: All your babies belong to me 171,275 14
12/07/2005 10:50 AM

My personal favorite, I've used it a few times:



I want to put some barbeque sauce on you and work ya like a rib.



I'm usually talking to the ribs though.

Who Needs Presents When You've Got SweetBritches? 3,351 8
12/07/2005 10:51 AM

<action>for Ollie</action>

Kid tested. Mother approved.

Mr. Sir, smuggling sugar plums. 66,727 9
12/07/2005 10:51 AM

Wanna' Frost?

Mr. Sir, smuggling sugar plums. 66,727 9
12/07/2005 10:52 AM

That was the best one ever asked of me.

Mighty Gitchi McPants sent angel choirs instead 19,555 11
12/07/2005 10:53 AM

Wanna' Frost?



You forgot the obligatory "Nice shoes," that precludes that question.

The women need their shoe compliment.

Chance: All your babies belong to me 171,275 14
12/07/2005 10:53 AM

Too bad it was Trixxie.

Who Needs Presents When You've Got SweetBritches? 3,351 8
12/07/2005 10:54 AM

Oh, I'll lay a finger on your butterfinger...

Who Needs Presents When You've Got SweetBritches? 3,351 8
12/07/2005 10:55 AM

<action>for Ditdah</action>

Come on, taste the rainbow.

Darrin 21,346 0
12/07/2005 11:08 AM

It's not delivery, It's DiVagina.

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
12/07/2005 11:10 AM

Melts in your mouth, but not in your hand.

Darrin 21,346 0
12/07/2005 11:11 AM

<action>puts a penis to her ear</action>



Now that's the best tastin' pickle I evah houd.

Who Needs Presents When You've Got SweetBritches? 3,351 8
12/07/2005 11:13 AM

I'm thirsty. Can I mount an' do you?

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
12/07/2005 11:19 AM

"When you care enough to do the very best."



(slightly paraphrased)

Who Needs Presents When You've Got SweetBritches? 3,351 8
12/07/2005 11:24 AM

Pssssh, Snickers ain't the only thing that satisfies.

Zolton with Arsenic Sauce 88,200 34
12/07/2005 11:27 AM

Hi. I'm what's for dinner.

Fratberry 283,018 53
12/07/2005 11:28 AM

"Mmmm, mmm, mmm! Gooooood Cracker!"

Who Needs Presents When You've Got SweetBritches? 3,351 8
12/07/2005 11:29 AM

Damn, baby! You look finger-lickin' gooooooood!

Prof. Fantabulous 19,711 13
12/07/2005 11:31 AM

Once i pop, i can't stop.



I taste awful, but i work (altered from a Canadian caugh syrup that lists pine needles as an ingredient)

Darrin 21,346 0
12/07/2005 11:33 AM

Is that your breath?



You better suck on this 1 and 1/2 calorie Clit Tac.

Bankey 70,843 10
12/07/2005 11:33 AM

GIRL YOU FINE!!!



Well, it's not really a slogan but it's certainly enthusiastic.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
12/07/2005 11:35 AM

"You know, the best part of waking up, is having me cupped."



SLAP!



"No, really, It's good to the last drop."



SLAP! SLAP!

Oliver St. Nick: Comes in Chimneys 203,475 12
12/07/2005 11:47 AM

"Your way, right away."

Darrin 21,346 0
12/07/2005 11:50 AM

<action>pretends her name is Campbell</action>



That's why Campbell's boobs are mmm, mmm, good.

Oliver St. Nick: Comes in Chimneys 203,475 12
12/07/2005 11:52 AM

Darrin's a chick? Are you a hot one? What are your feelings on fecal masturbation?

Mr. Sir, smuggling sugar plums. 66,727 9
12/07/2005 11:53 AM

Darrin,



SUYT!



Thanks,

Mr. Sir.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
12/07/2005 11:53 AM

Judgement call there sweetie,



SUYT!





*satisfies once a month SUYT post for membership requirement*

Darrin 21,346 0
12/07/2005 11:53 AM

I'm a chick.



I'm average.



I don't like poop on me when I masturbate - although I have been known to masturbate on the toilet after I take a dump.

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
12/07/2005 11:54 AM

"NK Bandit, the alternative to higher priced hookers like Merrill Lynch and Schwab"

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
12/07/2005 11:55 AM

Just call me "Quick Draw".

Prof. Fantabulous 19,711 13
12/07/2005 11:55 AM

I wrote a woman a poem about vegetables hoping it would make her swoon.



Hey there carrot

with your top so green

Why is your tasty bit

in the ground, and can't be seen.





It didn't work, that uncultured bitch.

Mr. Sir, smuggling sugar plums. 66,727 9
12/07/2005 11:56 AM

I have been known to masturbate on the toilet after I take a dump.





You have some real potential. So far, I like what you're bringing to the table.

Zolton with Arsenic Sauce 88,200 34
12/07/2005 11:57 AM

What are you saying, Sir?



'Poop is good food'?

Armored as Blitzen - the binge drinking reindeer 3,923 8
12/07/2005 12:02 PM

"Snap into a Slim Jim!!"



Best said in an angry hoarse voice.

Mr. Sir, smuggling sugar plums. 66,727 9
12/07/2005 12:05 PM

"Snap into a Slim Jim!!"



Let's assume your name is Jim. Why would you want to be snapped? That sounds bad. And, not in a good way.



Let's consider that you're referring to your "Jimmy":

Why would you want to call it slim? And you definitely don't want it snapped.





I think you may need to reconsider that phrase, you freak.

Grapelicious 407 7
12/07/2005 12:05 PM

"Hungry?"

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
12/07/2005 12:05 PM

I'm a chick.



I'm average.



So, you're a soul stealing leech that lures young men into the matrimonial snare with wild sex, and then promptly cuts him off and takes half his money, while doing the poolboy?



I'm not implying anything, just askin'.









And I am not BITTER!

Grapelicious 407 7
12/07/2005 12:06 PM

<action>spreads legs</action>

Why wait?

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
12/07/2005 12:07 PM

"Hungry?"



Hi JK, send any good mail bombs today?

Autra - Bah Humbug 10,560 11
12/07/2005 05:15 PM

So it's not a slogan, but it includes food, and I've always loved:



So you wanna get a pizza and Frost?



slap



What, don't you like pizza?

Jep - premature articulator 58,758 13
12/07/2005 06:51 PM

I always tell them, "Once you've had Jack, you can NEVER go back!"



My name's not Jack, but it works as an alias. Not that I need an alias because it's never worked, kind of like "So baby, ever have a white guy?"

AussieSarah 8,390 9
12/07/2005 07:44 PM

"WHERE'S THE BEEF???"

Zolton with Arsenic Sauce 88,200 34
12/07/2005 07:45 PM

Silly Aussie.



Dicks is for kids!

kyty4me 51 7
12/07/2005 07:52 PM

fapfapfap the slim jim

Piquantrax - Keeping Kwanzaa Kool 8,691 9
12/07/2005 09:25 PM

"What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"



And for Dit:

"What would you do for a Klondyke Bar?"

Loverly Lila 78,555 13
12/07/2005 09:37 PM

Matt and I, being a couple who have been together for many years, have come up with a cute little dialogue we sometimes deliver to each other when we're out at a bar.



Me: "Come here often?"

Him: "Nope."

Me: "Wanna Frost?"

Him: "Ok."



We're a simple breed, we two.

Rent: Seasons of Phla - Merry Christmas, bitches! 131,068 34
12/07/2005 09:38 PM

CHANCE,



It was almost exactly eleven hours ago, but that was friggin awesome. You are my hero all the time, but this past week I've noticed that you've been quite the rock star.



Hugs and crap,

Phla

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
12/08/2005 01:51 AM

The other white meat.

Holiday Spiced Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
12/08/2005 02:02 AM

I've always wanted to use this one but I never had the chance.



Walk up to a white chick.

SR: "Hey? Do you have any Native American in you?"

Woman: "No."

SR: "Would you like some?"

Rent: Seasons of Phla - Merry Christmas, bitches! 131,068 34
12/08/2005 02:11 AM

Woman: Is that all you got?

Holiday Spiced Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
12/08/2005 02:12 AM

Na, see after that I just sit back and lick my eyebrows.

Rent: Seasons of Phla - Merry Christmas, bitches! 131,068 34
12/08/2005 02:13 AM

Dood! That's a long tongue!

FarararaRobin® 14,626 10
12/08/2005 02:30 AM

Don't let SR fool you, let's just say, it's a good thing I don't care for oral.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
12/08/2005 07:33 AM

Well, we've proven conclusively that Robin is not CG.

Piquantrax - Keeping Kwanzaa Kool 8,691 9
12/08/2005 08:01 AM

Here you go.

Walk up to a helpless white chick.

SR: "Hey? Do you have a penis in you?"

Woman: "No."

SR: "Would you like one?"

lupience, Leaping with the Lords 26,981 11
12/08/2005 08:18 AM

"Are you Frito Lay?"

Roast Beast Filled Pubah, Dipped in EggNogg 56,805 18
12/12/2005 11:34 AM

Eat cher box, Mam?