TableTopJane-Can I jingle your balls? 173,958 15
12/19/2005 04:08 PM

Nothing says Merry Christmas like blackmail.

Bankey 70,843 10
12/19/2005 04:10 PM

The saddest part of this story is knowing that I'm not one of the million and fifty-seven things she was talking about.

Erika - Always on the Naughty List 76,152 9
12/19/2005 04:10 PM

Well, I forgot to mention that Mark is African American, so in this case black male.

Bankey 70,843 10
12/19/2005 04:13 PM

I hope you offered Mark a hearty high-five the next time you saw him in the hallway.

Santa is just a Mailman, when you think about it 176,450 56
12/19/2005 04:15 PM

So anyway, this seems like the perfect time to ask my boss for more money.



I'm not sure she has any more money to give out. What you witnessed was Mark's Christmas bonus.

TableTopJane-Can I jingle your balls? 173,958 15
12/19/2005 04:15 PM

I hope you offered Mark a hearty high-five the next time you saw him in the hallway.



Or at least a congratulatory blow job in the copy room.

Gorky Thatcher peed in the sugar cookie batter 41,132 13
12/19/2005 04:15 PM

Just remember to bring this up if your boss every has knee surgery or complians about arthritis in the knees.

Bankey 70,843 10
12/19/2005 04:16 PM

Of course, considering where his hand just was, you might have been better off with the ol' 'wazzup' head-nod.

SausageBoy 15,703 0
12/19/2005 04:18 PM

OMG.............. Erika has brought back teh funny!!!!!!!!!

JEP - Normal Again 58,758 13
12/19/2005 04:21 PM

At the very moment JK2K killed it once again.

Scorpion 4,080 9
12/19/2005 04:22 PM

I wish Erika worked in my Mail Room. And by 'in' I mean 'on', and by 'Mail Room' I mean 'Penis'.

JEP - Normal Again 58,758 13
12/19/2005 04:30 PM

Actually Erika, I don't know what your so upset about. If I could look forward to a live sex show at work, I don't think that I would have so much trouble getting out of bed in the morning.

SausageBoy 15,703 0
12/19/2005 04:30 PM

jeepers Erika, must I put on the "killer sausage" disguise again??

Mr. Sir, smuggling sugar plums. 66,727 9
12/19/2005 04:33 PM

Is your boss married?



That could really affect the tax bracket you could potentially be moved to.

Zolton with Arsenic Sauce 88,200 34
12/19/2005 04:33 PM

Seems like it was just a matter of time. That's what you get for having someone with a title like 'file boy' around the office.



Personally, I'm waiting for them to hire a 'coffee chick' around here, so I can get a little action. These nuts aren't gonna lick themselves for a free parking spot, now, are they?

Bankey 70,843 10
12/19/2005 04:35 PM

These nuts aren't gonna lick themselves for a free parking spot, now, are they?







Not with that attitude they aren't.

Declan McManus, Daily Prophet Food Columnist, 2005 131,887 36
12/19/2005 04:36 PM

To quote one of my brother's favourite sayings: "Your story is meaningless without pictures."

Oliver Chest: Poop Factory 203,475 12
12/19/2005 04:37 PM

Two words: Job security.

Oliver Chest: Poop Factory 203,475 12
12/19/2005 04:39 PM

Two more words: I am going to jerk off to this story later tonight.

Nachos is not a festive dish 57,521 23
12/19/2005 04:39 PM

I'm not sure if this is more or less disturbing:



About 2 weeks ago I was heading into the office when I felt the old brown army laying seige to the rear gate, so I decided to stop off at the toilets nearest our transport department.



I'd dropped trou and was about to endure that momentary shock you get when your still warm buttocks come into contact with the cold, cold seat when I spotted sometihng out of the corner of my eye that made me stop half bent over and take a closer look.



It was a magazine.



Now this in and of itself isn't particularly shocking as people have, from time to time, taken reading material in with them to pass the time and then forgotten to take it back out. It's not uncommon to see the morning paper laying discarded next to the bowl.



This page that this magazine was open at, however, displayed one girl urinating on another. The urinatee seemed to be quite enjoying this, although it may have had something to do with the unfeasibly large rubber phallus that she was inserting into herself at the same time. That and the fact that she was probably making slightly more than bus fare home.



For some unknown reason I decided to nudge the magazine out of the way slightly with my show into plainer view. This gave rise to two observations:



1. The magazine was worn and had obviously been read many, many times.



2. The pages were stuck together so badly that it was almost a congealed lump of laminated porn.



Needless to say I ceased all operations forthwith and now only use the lavatory at the other end of the building.

Mr. Sir, smuggling sugar plums. 66,727 9
12/19/2005 04:45 PM

Dude, that's gross.

Gorky Thatcher peed in the sugar cookie batter 41,132 13
12/19/2005 04:45 PM

Did you keep the mag?



I've been looking for it.

Mr. Sir, smuggling sugar plums. 66,727 9
12/19/2005 04:45 PM

fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap





skeet.

Chit Eating Grin 178,781 15
12/19/2005 04:49 PM

Good to know however you are working for an equal opportunity ColeridgeSUCKER !







This will however spice up the Christmas dinner conversation at your parent's house anyway.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
12/19/2005 05:08 PM

People are starting to use Chicken's old "What the Frost, it's Christmas" excuse.



I was working on Saturday night and decided I needed something out of my car at around 3:30 a.m. As I walked through the otherwise deserted parking lot, I saw my friend Joe, who works in another department, sitting in the passenger seat of his truck.



This isn't all that unusual - sometimes night shift guys go out and take a nap in their car on their lunch break. Though it was pretty cold for that.



His eyes were open, so I waved. He waved back. Then this chubby Puerto Rican secretary's head popped up from his lap. She did not wave.



They're both married to other people.

Millie Christmas and a Happy New Year 116,988 28
12/19/2005 05:16 PM

Well, they weren't being unfaithful because it's not really sex.

Millie Christmas and a Happy New Year 116,988 28
12/19/2005 05:21 PM

Whistler's story reminds me of a Portland cop who got caught in his car with a hooker. He said some change had fallen out of his pocket and she was trying to help him pick it up off the floor of his car, which is why she was down there.



I'm not sure how he explained why his dick was out of his pants.



He took an early retirement.

Chit Eating Grin 178,781 15
12/19/2005 05:33 PM

Erika, I can also just imagine your boss's surprise when she scrambled up to her feet and ran for her office to dig up the only dirt she had on you.



Sitting at her PC she asks herself, "What did the IT guy say the name of that site was that she frequented during work sometimes ?"

(typing zug.com/gab)



.....Wholly Shakespeare I have my own thread already...



I've become unemployed and cheap internet porn all in 15 minutes, Waaaaaa Rickeeey!

dick fernandez 714 8
12/19/2005 05:38 PM

Hey Millie, would you like to not really have torrid, fugitive sex?

Chit Eating Grin 178,781 15
12/19/2005 05:41 PM

By the way, is anyone else going to be haunted by the thought of Erika's ponytails making that whip cracking sound ?

SausageBoy 15,703 0
12/19/2005 05:44 PM

I just maha'd Dick Fernandez. Thanks Bob Johnson for lending me your "time machine"

Millie Christmas and a Happy New Year 116,988 28
12/19/2005 05:44 PM

Thanks, Dick, as much as I'd love to give you a blow-job (because it's so satisfying for a woman), I'll have to pass for now.

notkaliesmash 1,741 7
12/19/2005 05:45 PM

By the way, is anyone else going to be haunted by the thought of Erika's ponytails making that whip cracking sound ?



haunted isn't quite the word.



i think it's something along the lines of turned on.

dick fernandez 714 8
12/19/2005 05:48 PM

You know Millie, I've always wondered about that. What does it really do for a woman? I mean, it really is about as one sided an act as it gets. So, to compensate, how about I really not have sex with you. While Kraie hauntingly whips her pony tail.

Balfazz 518 9
12/19/2005 05:56 PM

Raises aren't the only thing she's giving out like candy canes

notkaliesmash 1,741 7
12/19/2005 05:57 PM

nothing was said about candy canes.



HAH.

Declan McManus, Daily Prophet Food Columnist, 2005 131,887 36
12/19/2005 06:19 PM

They're both married to other people.





How did I wind up with such a square for a brother?!

SquidBoy 19,912 12
12/20/2005 04:39 AM

..Tubgirl and Goatse simultaneously getting ass-rammed by the Lemon Party guys..



That was beautiful..

Shubha Sibongile Chickens 286,539 61
12/20/2005 10:07 AM

Well, you can't blame mark. There is nothing more desireable to a 20 something peon in the office than a hottie 40 something woman.





THEY KNOW THINGS.

Shubha Sibongile Chickens 286,539 61
12/20/2005 10:08 AM

And from her point of view, he was just putting the correct file in the cabnet where it belonged.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
12/20/2005 01:13 PM

You guys are all forgetting an important part to this story. She works for her mom.

k4stmoon 1,143 11
12/21/2005 10:28 AM

I guess that's what they're talking about when they say they're "sticking to the man".

Mr. Sir, smuggling sugar plums. 66,727 9
12/21/2005 10:33 AM

No.



It's not.