Darrin 21,346 0
12/23/2005 03:08 PM

<action>puts in her ear plugs</action>

Errol 10,584 9
12/23/2005 03:10 PM

Fag.

DemoMonkey. This suit itches! 166,252 10
12/23/2005 03:11 PM

If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
12/23/2005 03:15 PM

Um. . . everyone can have as many wishes as they like this season. They're free and plentiful.



It's the granted wishes that are limited.

Teh Baptist 1,672 8
12/23/2005 03:16 PM

You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe.

Bankey 70,843 10
12/23/2005 03:17 PM

I see we've reached the 'phoning it in' period of the holiays.

Teh Baptist 1,672 8
12/23/2005 03:18 PM

<action> hangs up</action>

DemoMonkey. This suit itches! 166,252 10
12/23/2005 03:19 PM

And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it.

Crackalacka has a HUGE yule log 68,758 11
12/23/2005 03:19 PM

<action> pees on the baptists head</action>



My wish would be to baptize the baptist.

Teh Baptist 1,672 8
12/23/2005 03:22 PM

Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth!

Darrin 21,346 0
12/23/2005 03:24 PM

You must be young, Baptist.



Didn't you participate in Hands Across America?



It can be done.

DemoMonkey. This suit itches! 166,252 10
12/23/2005 03:24 PM

So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish.

Teh Baptist 1,672 8
12/23/2005 03:26 PM

That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas.

DemoMonkey. This suit itches! 166,252 10
12/23/2005 03:32 PM

(Credit to Steve Martin and the makers of SNL for all posts, including the first.



Kudos to Baptist for thinking of it.)

Teh Baptist 1,672 8
12/23/2005 03:35 PM

Kudos to you for riffing with me. (And thanks to Steve Martin for being a freakin' genius...gotta love them Cruel Shoes.)

Crackalacka has a HUGE yule log 68,758 11
12/23/2005 03:44 PM

Now I feel bad for peeing on the baptist's head and not recognizing Steve Martin. Well, bad for not recognizing Steve Martin, and less amused now for peeing on the head. I'll just make it up to you in orbs.

Teh Baptist 1,672 8
12/23/2005 03:46 PM

No worries, urinating on n00bs is just standard operating procedure. No hard feelings.