The Mailman ate too much gingerbread 129,669 14
01/06/2006 02:31 AM

One thread seems to have received many posts since last night, so I click on its title and start reading it. Then my phone rings. In the middle of my freakin' break! The caller-ID indicates that it is the same person calling that the one who left me the message, so I pick up the phone. I focus on the conversation and the topic at hand, and quickly forget about my web browser.



Meanwhile, a tall man walks up to my cubicle. He gently interrupts me in the middle of my phone conversation to say hello. I have never seen this man before in my life, so I motion to the phone with my free hand and ask him to wait a little until I'm done. The man smiles, and walks over to the next cubicle, where my colleague sits. I resume the phone conversation, which lasts another three minutes. After I hang up, I stand up and see the interrupting tall man, who is still there, talking with my colleague.



- "Hi. Excuse me, I was on the phone".

I then introduce myself, and mention something about him being in good hands with my colleague, whatever his request may be.



- "Oh, I was just going through the floor, to meet the employees and wish them a happy new year. My name is Ludwig Van Beethoven, I am the Chief Information Officer"

The Mailman ate too much gingerbread 129,669 14
01/06/2006 02:32 AM

Great. I just met the CIO. The boss of the boss of my boss. While we exchange "Happy new years", I mentally rewind the last few minutes in my head, to see if I've said anything inappropriate to him when I did not know who he was. I was on the phone, I was busy, it was an obviously work-related conversation. Everything seems alright.



The chat goes on for a few more minutes, and the CIO then walks away to continue his new year's office tour. I sit back at my office. Just as I think to myself, "That went well", my eyes glance at my computer screen, which has been proudly displaying the same page since the phone rang.



The name of the thread is "Yet another panty auction"; a martini-drinking alien bids $23, and some Scented Scrotum Talc; he is immediately followed by a post from what looks to be a purple penis. Then a post by a crucified Jesus icon. Then another purple penis. Then another Jesus. And then another penis.



The CIO seemed like a cool guy though, so despite the title I gave to this thread, I don't think I'll get in trouble. But there might soon be a new high bid on Dianada's panties. By a n00b called Ludwig.

Big Irish Guy 174,804 10
01/06/2006 02:32 AM

Are you going to go on a shooting rampage?



Don't forget to video and post it.

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,287 10
01/06/2006 02:36 AM

Mailman, I absolutely adore you. I must tell you that.





Of course, I adore BIG, Ditdah, Chickens, Dianada and her sexy underwear, Roofie and her boobies, SHP and her nuts, and a whole lot of other people, but I really adore you right now.

Phuc 231,193 13
01/06/2006 02:36 AM

What would it be like to be fired in Canadia?



"Bonjour, mon ami, eh? I'm really sorry, eh, but do you think maybe I could ask you to be fired now?"

Phuc 231,193 13
01/06/2006 02:38 AM

Oh yeah, and I think I've talked before about this guy at work who is, to be polite and succinct, a wee bit underqualified and lacking in etiquette.



He got canned on Tuesday.



Happy birfday, Al!!!!!!!

trojandoll 3,458 6
01/06/2006 02:38 AM

I have to fire someone today and I am not looking forward to it. I have never fired anyone before. Any advice?

Big Irish Guy 174,804 10
01/06/2006 02:39 AM

Blame upper management and wear a bullet-proof vest.

Declan McManus-They say that bears have affairs 115,719 11
01/06/2006 02:40 AM

FDIC--



You adore me not?



Je suis mortifee!

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,287 10
01/06/2006 02:42 AM

Mon Dieu!!!



Je t'adore, Declan!!



Je suis dans la lune!

Roofie Raccoon 56,401 7
01/06/2006 02:43 AM

Al, congratulations!



Mailman, nice.

Cruz Johnson : Space Admiral 8,597 6
01/06/2006 02:44 AM

You adore me not?



She's just a little intimidated 'cause your facial hair's more impressive than hers

Roofie Raccoon 56,401 7
01/06/2006 02:44 AM

FDIC, you are in the moon??

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,287 10
01/06/2006 02:48 AM

According to a native Frenchman (my college professor), this is the phrase to be used when one is daydreaming. When translated literally it does mean "in the moon", but it's supposed to mean "on the moon".



If I am wrong, I cannot apologize as I was misinformed.



Bottom line is, I adore Declan. Of course I also adore Bob Johnson because he's funny....and Trae because she's the resident slut, and so on and so forth.

Prof. Fantabulous 19,573 10
01/06/2006 02:49 AM

Because of the label laws, i grew up thinking that a popular snack cake was called "1/2 Lune Moons".



I loved those things almost as much as "Rancho Cool Ranch" chips.

Declan McManus-They say that bears have affairs 115,719 11
01/06/2006 02:50 AM

Merci, cherie.



Je t'adore.





(Today is not a fabulous day. A check I was expecting is late, and my arthritis is particularly painful.)

The Mailman ate too much gingerbread 129,669 14
01/06/2006 02:54 AM

<action>sheds a tear after he sees so many posts in French in the thread</action>

Je t'adore aussi FDIC.

Your usage of the phrase "dans la lune" was flawless, by the way.

Big Irish Guy 174,804 10
01/06/2006 02:55 AM

ENGLISH MUTHERFrostER, DO YOU SPEAK IT.

Roofie Raccoon 56,401 7
01/06/2006 02:56 AM

<action>sticks tongue out at Frenchies</action>But it was funnier my way.

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,287 10
01/06/2006 02:57 AM

BIG, after all that stuff I whispered in your ear, you should know damn good and well that I speak English.



Oh! You were talking to Mailman?? My mistake!

The Mailman ate too much gingerbread 129,669 14
01/06/2006 02:58 AM

ENGLISH MUTHERFrostER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?



English? Yes, your honour.

Big Irish Guy 174,804 10
01/06/2006 02:59 AM

FDIC, you had already tasted Sean's Happy Juice, and I knew what the top of your head looked like. Why would I still listen?

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,287 10
01/06/2006 02:59 AM

sticks tongue out at Frenchies





So. Aroused.

Declan McManus-They say that bears have affairs 115,719 11
01/06/2006 03:00 AM

Aw, just shuddup, BIG. Just shuddup and pour yerself another Jamesons.



And by "pour," I mean open new bottle and apply lips to it.

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,287 10
01/06/2006 03:00 AM

Shhhh!!





We agreed never to speak of that!

Scented Scrotum Talc 165,451 10
01/06/2006 03:04 AM

Hey! You can't blame any repercussions on me!



There's nothing not-safe-for-work about pleasantly-scented balls.

Big Irish Guy 174,804 10
01/06/2006 03:06 AM

A simulpost telling me to be quiet. GAB isn't too bad today.

Lady Diana Matronic 23,412 15
01/06/2006 03:26 AM

Mailman! If my panties (indirectly) get you fired, I will be very sad and will be forced to perform some sort of huge favor for you to make up for it.





(I heart you to FDIC! Raow)

Chit Eating Grin 163,656 10
01/06/2006 04:07 AM

Mailman! If my panties (indirectly) get you fired, I will be very sad and will be forced to perform some sort of huge favor for you to make up for it.





Wow, nobody wants to get fired.





But that has to take a lot of the sting out of it !

Ludwig van Beethoven 129,669 14
01/06/2006 04:19 AM

To whom it may concern:



I hereby confirm that I have terminated the Mailman's contract with our company, due to his inappropriate surfing habits.



On an unrelated note: Diana, how much for the panties?



Best regards

Ludwig van B., CIO of Big Company, Inc.