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Coming Clean
A comedy conversation by UnderHaggis! 72,890 16
01/14/2006 08:16 AM 393 views

I was having a conversation at work this afternoon with a girl named Cinnamon. She's 23, has quite the active sex life, and I usually trust her view of things. Anyway, one of the topics we discussed today was swallowing jizz.



Honestly, how many of you here spit, and how many swallow?



I ask this because out of about 15 people she polled, I was the only one who drinks it down on a regular basis. She said that only girls in dirty movies do that sort of thing.



So, I'd like to hear some opinions on this. Of course, since most of you are either porn chicks, prostitutes or Chris Garrett, I don't think I'll get an accurate representation of the real world. But I'd still like to hear about it.

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Hilarious 15 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388919
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171 Comments (Funniest: Inspector Trixxie a/t case o/t Missing Doorknob,HartmanTwins,Apache Rose Peacock)


Hilarious 16 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388920
Spicey McHaggis 102,816 13
01/14/2006 08:24 AM

In my unbiased opinion, I think it is a perfectly acceptable activity for those who wish to partake in it.

 

Hilarious 15 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388921
Crackalacka! 68,154 8
01/14/2006 08:25 AM

Your doing everything right! Don't listen to this fool! The dove is the bird of peace, but teh swallow is for true love!

 

Funny 17 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388923
Prof. Fantabulous 19,577 10
01/14/2006 08:44 AM

The women i have been with didn't mind swallowing.

They just didn't like the boiling water and mouthwash i poured down their gob before i would kiss them again.

 

Hilarious 12 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388926
Trae 156,239 10
01/14/2006 08:50 AM

I was married for 10yrs.



I never gave a blow job in that time.



I've been divorced for 9yrs.



I've given <insert # here> blow jobs in that time.



I don't see the point in spitting:



a) it's messy

b) you lose the "flow"

c) if you continue to suck after swallowing said jizzarific matter, it extends the orgasm for the man.

d) *PROFIT!











*Ok, I threw that in for comedic effect but seriously.. spitting? That's gross,man.

 

Hilarious 5 votes 4.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388928
Diana Matronic 23,595 15
01/14/2006 08:53 AM

I agree with Trae. It kinda ruins the mood when you gotta run to the sink real quick to spit.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388929
I Am Straw 59,723 11
01/14/2006 08:54 AM

The issue never came up for me because I never did it long enough for it to get that far. I have a small mouth and the teeth ended up bothering him. But I wouldnt swallow cause that would make me gag.

 

Hilarious 10 votes 4.1 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388930
Trae 156,239 10
01/14/2006 08:57 AM

Since were on the subject.... ever since I had my tonsils out I can't gag.



I can be very good at times, but it really interfered that one time when I was a bulimic for halloween.



I should've gone as a tickling uvula.

 

Side-splitting 2 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388933
Gorky Thatcher- Outlaw Poet 41,034 10
01/14/2006 09:15 AM

Trae...I love you.

 

Hilarious 11 votes 4.1 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388936
Whistler P. McManus 141,703 23
01/14/2006 09:33 AM

Ok, I have to start off with a disclaimer:



Though I've been sucked off by a large number of gals, all but one of those gals performed their magic on me during the pre-AIDS epidemic era. Things may have changed since then.



In my experience, swallowing is the norm. I have never, thankfully, witnessed a spitting incident. That's just weird. Who would put something in their mouth that they considered too gross to swallow?



Once or twice it was requested that I alert someone before I exploded, and they finished the job with their hand. In my opinion, that policy demonstrates a lack of committment to one's work.



Also, for what it's worth, a properly executed blowjob requires little in the way of swallowing. The ejaculation should take place in the throat or far enough back in the mouth that it just slides down. If your partner has a mouth full of jizz when she (he) is finished, either your dick is tiny or they aren't doing it right.

 

Funny 14 votes 3.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388945
Stone Cold Bikini 59,038 8
01/14/2006 10:10 AM

I'm a vegetarian. Is that a legitimate excuse?

 

Hilarious 8 votes 4.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388946
Trae 156,239 10
01/14/2006 10:18 AM

The ejaculation should take place in the throat or far enough back in the mouth that it just slides down



And if done right (and with the right amount of experience) you can squeeze your throat muscles around it like a python and gulp it down like a soda.



Mmmm jizzy soda! Caffiene free!

 

Funny 10 votes 3.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388947
Frogpop 155,688 12
01/14/2006 10:20 AM

Is that a legitimate excuse?



For being a hairy hippie dike?

Yes. Yes it is.

 

Hilarious 11 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388948
Frogpop 155,688 12
01/14/2006 10:21 AM

gulp it down like a soda.



Perhaps you've said to much.

 

Funny 4 votes 3.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388949
Diana Matronic 23,595 15
01/14/2006 10:22 AM

Man, you are still drunk.

 

Funny 8 votes 3.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388950
Gorky Thatcher- Outlaw Poet 41,034 10
01/14/2006 10:23 AM

I think my wife is wholly justified in forbidding me to speak to Trae because now, even if nothing consensual could happen, I'm going to throat rape her.

 

Funny 8 votes 3.9 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388951
Trae 156,239 10
01/14/2006 10:27 AM

Can't rape the willing, silly.

 

Hilarious 29 votes 4.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388952
The Mailman ate too much gingerbread 130,838 14
01/14/2006 10:29 AM

Whistler, I am not sure that I understand your post.



Do you swallow, or not?

 

Hilarious 12 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388953
Declan McManus-They say that bears have affairs 115,733 11
01/14/2006 10:33 AM

Mailman, darling...



My brother doesn't, but I do.

 

Hilarious 8 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388954
Trae 156,239 10
01/14/2006 10:35 AM

<action> hurls </action>



Well, my buzz is gone.



Anyone else?

 

Hilarious 9 votes 4.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388955
Declan McManus-They say that bears have affairs 115,733 11
01/14/2006 10:36 AM

Well, Trae, I will pretend that you are joking.





However, your double standarding makes me want to hurl right back at you.

 

Funny 5 votes 3.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388956
Frogpop 155,688 12
01/14/2006 10:41 AM

I asked a girl once about the spitting vs swallowing and she said if girls don't like semen, then what's the point of spitting? Doesn't that just keep it in your mouth longer? Fastest way to get rid of it is down the hatch.

 

Hilarious 5 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388957
Gorky Thatcher- Outlaw Poet 41,034 10
01/14/2006 10:47 AM

Spitting = Liking

Swallowing = Loving

Gargling = Showing Off



</old Playboy joke>

 

Funny 2 votes 3.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388958
Stone Cold Bikini 59,038 8
01/14/2006 10:47 AM

Honestly, I've only been confronted with the swallowing vs. spitting scenario once. Basically every other time, the guy has alerted me right before the event, either giving me time to flee the scene, or stopping it so we can, ah, move onward to other things. Maybe I just date really polite guys. Or huge pussies. Whatever.

 

Funny 6 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388959
The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 130,838 14
01/14/2006 10:48 AM

I recently received a message in my spam folder with the following subject line:



"When she swallows your sperm with (Blah-blah) it's like she's having a dinner."



It's a piece of junk e-mail for some kind of medicine that is supposed to make you cum gallons. The message body contains this sentence, among others:

"It's very filling and healthy."



Next thing you know, the makers of this product will be offering French Vanilla and Wild Blueberry flavors, and end up merging with Slim Fast.

 

Chuckleworthy 2 votes 2.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388960
Suicide Ranger 27,449 10
01/14/2006 10:52 AM

I've got no way to judge. I'm usually to drunk to remember my encounters.

 

Hilarious 5 votes 4.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388961
Robin® 14,584 7
01/14/2006 10:54 AM

I swallow.



What I hate are the guys that refuse to kiss you afterwards. Seriously, if you want me down there you should be willing to kiss me afterwards. And I don't mean snowballing.

 

Hilarious 2 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388962
Trae 156,239 10
01/14/2006 10:54 AM

I am joking, Declan dearest. I just got a visual with your post and well, it caught me off guard.



 

Chuckleworthy 2 votes 2.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388963
Suicide Ranger 27,449 10
01/14/2006 10:55 AM

I'm wondering how Undy managed to misspell the title of this thread.

 

Hilarious 10 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388964
Frogpop 155,688 12
01/14/2006 10:56 AM

right on, I've known some girls who don't like to kiss you after you go down on them. That is lame. If it bothers you so much maybe you should shower more.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388965
Stone Cold Bikini 59,038 8
01/14/2006 10:59 AM

I just ask that, if you're sloppy, wipe your mouth off. Even though there really is no reason to be that sloppy at all.

 

Hilarious 9 votes 4.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388966
Suicide Ranger 27,449 10
01/14/2006 11:02 AM

If you do it right you have to wonder if the girl is peeing on you.

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388967
Stone Cold Bikini 59,038 8
01/14/2006 11:04 AM

Actually, that's when you're doing it really really wrong.

 

Funny 3 votes 3.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388968
Diana Matronic 23,595 15
01/14/2006 11:05 AM

Do you even know what you're talking about, bikini?

 

Hilarious 15 votes 4.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388969
Prof. Fantabulous 19,577 10
01/14/2006 11:09 AM

Yeah Bikkini. What up?



On another note, you know when you touch a girls boob and it feels like a bag of sand.

 

Chuckleworthy 1 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388970
Stone Cold Bikini 59,038 8
01/14/2006 11:10 AM

Well. . no. I have never actually peed on anyone since I was approximately three.

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388971
Diana Matronic 23,595 15
01/14/2006 11:19 AM

No one said anything about actually peeing.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388972
Goddess of ... Something 161 6
01/14/2006 11:21 AM

I think if you didn't swallow there was no point in the whole sucking.



Seriously, when it comes to spitting, you've already got the stuff in your mouth, so you can just swallow it anyway. If it was too gross to swallow, I wouldn't even put it in my mouth in the first place, so I really don't see the point in spitting. Plus, it tends to make quite a mess as I've learned in my schoolyears.

 

Hilarious 5 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388974
Randy Dicksin 12,322 8
01/14/2006 11:37 AM

Yeah so ummmm.







fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap to the ladies.



Declan was a drunk encounter I don't remember.

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388978
Trae 156,239 10
01/14/2006 11:44 AM

Well the whole swallowing thing is important if you want to kiss afterwards.



I mean, I wouldn't expect a deep tonguing but a little nibble and lickin after the dickin is cool.



*I just made that up.



**It sucks, I know. Shaddup.

 

Funny 4 votes 3.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388979
Randy Dicksin 12,322 8
01/14/2006 11:47 AM

**It sucks, I know. Shaddup.



It's on topic.









































Besides it's a turn on.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388980
Stone Cold Bikini 59,038 8
01/14/2006 11:48 AM

No one said anything about actually peeing.





I think you missed my joke, but that's okay. I don't think it was very funny.

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388981
Goddess of ... Something 161 6
01/14/2006 11:49 AM

A guy that doesn't kiss afterwards loses all privileges and will have to take me out to dinner when I'm a raging PMS-monster, to make up for it.



Unless of course I don't feel like kissing. Then I'd still bitch about it to make him feel guilty and later demand something, you never know...

 

Hilarious 12 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388982
newwave 45,836 7
01/14/2006 11:54 AM

In that case, you can expect an "accidental" eye-impregnation next time.

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388984
Goddess of ... Something 161 6
01/14/2006 11:57 AM

You should never let things get too far out of hand...

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388991
Trae 156,239 10
01/14/2006 12:10 PM

A guy that doesn't kiss afterwards loses all privileges and will have to take me out to dinner when I'm a raging PMS-monster, to make up for it.



Unless of course I don't feel like kissing. Then I'd still bitch about it to make him feel guilty and later demand something, you never know...






Man, you're a bitch.

 

Hilarious 2 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388993
Goddess of ... Something 161 6
01/14/2006 12:13 PM

I can't do anything about it, I get bored easily...

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388996
Mr. Slinky 28,117 8
01/14/2006 12:17 PM

With my personal expierience most of the ladies nowadays that are even WILLING to try it. I've only had two girls that swallowed it and with the case of my current girlfriend she likes to spit in the kleenex that we always keep handy.











BITCH!

 

Funny 8 votes 3.9 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1388997
Trae 156,239 10
01/14/2006 12:20 PM

I can't do anything about it, I get bored easily...



Take it from me, with that attitude, I'd invest in a house on a hill and start collecting cats now.

 

Hilarious 2 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1389000
Goddess of ... Something 161 6
01/14/2006 12:23 PM

There's a place for everything, and it's called college. And since I still enjoy such a great thing I guess it'd be too early to invest in cats. Plus men tend to get sissier each year, so I'm pretty sure I won't have to die alone, I'll just get one of those spineless guys.



Or one with enough spine, but now I'm dreaming again...

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1389003
Trae 156,239 10
01/14/2006 12:28 PM

Holy crap! They broke the mold with you didn't they?

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1389005
Goddess of ... Something 161 6
01/14/2006 12:29 PM

My mind keeps wandering off...

 

Funny 2 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1389008
newwave 45,836 7
01/14/2006 12:32 PM

<action>stomps on a june bug</action>

 

Hilarious 2 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1389018
Randy Dicksin 12,322 8
01/14/2006 12:39 PM

<action>looks up traes skirt</action>

 

Hilarious 7 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1389174
Dogs Akimbo 158,747 11
01/14/2006 11:13 PM

A Republican woman who is attractive AND shows her cooter AND swallows?











I'm...I'm sorta.........I'm...sorta confused right now and I think I have to go lie down for a while.

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1389186
Suicide Ranger 27,449 10
01/14/2006 11:33 PM

Two out of 3 aint bad.

 

Side-splitting 2 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391234
HartmanTwins 10,114 5
01/18/2006 04:54 AM

Jesus Frost-ing Mary jizz-filled Christ!



I gotta spend more time on GAB!







Thank you so much TTJ for linking to this.

 

Side-splitting 2 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391240
Millie 107,064 10
01/18/2006 05:07 AM

A co-worker and I just had a conversation about this last week. We both agreed swallowing is just easier and less messy.



My sister is a spitter. Yuck. I don't get it. If it's the taste you object to, wouldn't letting it squirt right past your taste buds make more sense?



If it's the stuff itself that's offensive, why even let it get in your mouth? Do it porn-style and let it spurt all over your face. (Watch out for the eyes, though. I had a friend who got it in her eye and she said it stung.)

 

Hilarious 9 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391242
Walter Sobchest 201,941 7
01/18/2006 05:11 AM

<action>can't possibly masturbate fast enough for how horny he is right now.</action>

 

Funny 4 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391243
Jade - Queen of Mistakes 14,238 6
01/18/2006 05:12 AM

Personally, I swallow. But that's purely to save on mess.

 

Funny 7 votes 3.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391244
Walter Sobchest 201,941 7
01/18/2006 05:12 AM

<action>but is still giving it that old college try</action>

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391245
Millie 107,064 10
01/18/2006 05:13 AM

And, Undies, I just realized that your co-worker with the stripper name must not watch much porn, because I don't think I ever saw a girl really swallow in those movies.



She either gets it in the face or lets it run out of her mouth.



Oh great, now there's a cue for someone to link to that horrible picture of the girl vomiting while giving head. Actually, I'm surprised no one linked to it yet.

 

Funny 3 votes 3.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391248
Barefoot Chance 168,281 11
01/18/2006 05:15 AM

Ive actually done that before. It musdt of been hot cause he came immediatley!



I know, I know! TMI....I'll go purge now.

 

Funny 4 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391250
Millie 107,064 10
01/18/2006 05:16 AM

What a coincidence; I was just going to binge.

 

Funny 5 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391252
Erika - Chuck Norris's abandoned daughter 75,961 7
01/18/2006 05:23 AM

I swallow. It has nothing to do with the whole mess factor, I do it because I am a vegetarian and I figure I need the protein.

 

Hilarious 10 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391253
Bankey 70,607 8
01/18/2006 05:25 AM

Nice, cause you didn't have enough stalkers or anything.

 

Amusing 1 votes 1.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391254
Erika - Chuck Norris's abandoned daughter 75,961 7
01/18/2006 05:27 AM

Oh, and after dating an Asian guy for the past year, I have some inside information on what "lobster sauce" really is.

 

Hilarious 11 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391255
Walter Sobchest 201,941 7
01/18/2006 05:29 AM

<action>'s penis begins to catch on fire</action>

 

Funny 2 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391256
Erika - Chuck Norris's abandoned daughter 75,961 7
01/18/2006 05:35 AM

<action>blows on Ollie's penis</action>Looks like you could use some help.

 

Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391258
Suicide Ranger 27,449 10
01/18/2006 05:37 AM

This has got to be the greatest GAB thread ever!

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391259
Erika - Chuck Norris's abandoned daughter 75,961 7
01/18/2006 05:37 AM

<action>laughs as it engulfs in flames</action>

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391275
HartmanTwins 10,114 5
01/18/2006 06:03 AM

This has got to be the greatest GAB thread ever!



I KNOW!



Imagine! An entire thread filled with hot women, so-so women, paper bag women and Declan all proclaiming about how much better it is to swallow!





Prepare for a flood of n00bs because I'm posting this Shakespeare everywhere!

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391277
Mwahiy 5,417 7
01/18/2006 06:28 AM

<action> ahems </action>





Umm....yea...

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391279
Trae 156,239 10
01/18/2006 06:31 AM

<action> re-reads thread and goes back to eating yogurt.......with a straw

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391280
Erika - Chuck Norris's abandoned daughter 75,961 7
01/18/2006 06:36 AM

<action>smiles at Trae, slurps up some cream soup</action>

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391282
Tastes Real Arousing Everyday 12,322 8
01/18/2006 06:38 AM

<action>Zipper breaks</zipper>



Millie and Trae.



Giving guys erection since 1975.

 

Side-splitting 3 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391283
Tastes Real Arousing Everyday 12,322 8
01/18/2006 06:39 AM

Yes I meant to stop my zipper from breaking.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391284
Tastes Real Arousing Everyday 12,322 8
01/18/2006 06:50 AM

Link not safe for anything.



Let alone work.

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391286
Trae 156,239 10
01/18/2006 06:54 AM

REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT





Link is >O<



NSFW





*stupid ass, mark that appropriately next time*

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391287
Erika - Chuck Norris's abandoned daughter 75,961 7
01/18/2006 06:56 AM

I'm sorry, but anyone who has been here for more than 5 minutes and didn't know what Mwahiy's link was to, deserves to see that Shakespeare.





Heh. Shakespeare.

 

Funny 2 votes 3.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391288
Trae 156,239 10
01/18/2006 06:58 AM

Well, I was just helping out L.E.N in Demo's absence. I was a n00b once and appreciated a little help.



Go back to sipping your soup.



 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391289
Erika - Chuck Norris's abandoned daughter 75,961 7
01/18/2006 07:00 AM

Go back to? Who said I ever stopped?

 

Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391291
Queen_Ilikimikimaka 435 5
01/18/2006 07:02 AM

I possess no gag reflex due to chronic post-nasal drip. I'd rather have the stuff in my tummy than cold and congealing on my boobs, spank you very much. Mmmmm-mmm, spoim.

 

Funny 6 votes 3.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391293
Chit Eating Grin 163,948 10
01/18/2006 07:06 AM

Either this is a wave of the future.



Those that spit are staying out of the conversation.



Or the same internet phenomenon that allows all men online to be hung like horses.

 

Funny 4 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391294
Suicide Ranger 27,449 10
01/18/2006 07:08 AM

I'm going to get "Best served hot, right out of the bottle," tattooed on my pelvis.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391295
Suicide Ranger 27,449 10
01/18/2006 07:09 AM

Yeah, all this is useless without pictures, or video... bla bla bla.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391328
Mwahiy 5,417 7
01/18/2006 07:56 AM

There's always one stupid Carroll who falls for it...

 

Hilarious 7 votes 4.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391389
Professor Nutbutter 150,834 14
01/18/2006 09:01 AM

Enjoy it while it lasts, Mr. McHaggis. Something in the wedding cake makes women allergic to giving head.



 

Hilarious 10 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391390
Big Irish Guy 176,285 10
01/18/2006 09:09 AM

That's funny, your wife still loves to give head. Just not to you.

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391393
larkknot 3,341 8
01/18/2006 09:16 AM

I swallow. I used to actually like the taste of semen a lot, but either the last few guys I sucked off had diets that made theirs taste nasty or my tastebuds have changed. What can and does make me gag is overly sticky seminal fluids. Kind of like having a mouthful of honey - except salty instead of sweet.

 

Funny 3 votes 3.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391463
Suicide Ranger 27,449 10
01/18/2006 02:04 PM

I've said this is the Best thread ever, haven't I?

 

Funny 2 votes 3.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391465
Goddess of ... Something 161 6
01/18/2006 02:24 PM

What really confuses me is, that after polling a couple of friends of mine, it seems there's quite a lot of spitting going on.

Maybe girls who spit just don't register on comedy sites?



Or we're the only ones that admit to the swallowing, since some people I asked didn't seem to really want to talk about it. Maybe it was because we were having dinner with their moms, or maybe it's just that I have different morale values... Back to my vanilla milkshake now... *suck*

 

Hilarious 8 votes 4.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391471
The Last Nacho On The Plate 51,808 10
01/18/2006 03:11 PM

Despite the deluge of 'Swallowing instead of spitting is so hot!' posts from all the guys here, I think I can clarify things by saying:



Not one of us will really care what you do as long as you're prepared to actually blow us in the first place.

 

Side-splitting 5 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391869
Inspector Trixxie a/t case o/t Missing Doorknob 64,479 13
01/18/2006 10:52 PM

I like to let about 2/3 go down while it's still at 98.6 to warm my throat and then mix the rest with spit for a couple more extra slick strokes.

 

Side-splitting 5 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391873
Apache Rose Peacock 168,693 11
01/18/2006 10:56 PM

Enjoy it while it lasts, Mr. McHaggis. Something in the wedding cake makes women allergic to giving head.



ButtShakespeare, Nutters. I didn't even have a piece of cake at my wedding.

 

Funny 2 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391875
Apache Rose Peacock 168,693 11
01/18/2006 10:56 PM

ButtShakespeare? I meant Bull. I think seeing Trixxie's icon threw me off.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391877
Apache Rose Peacock 168,693 11
01/18/2006 10:57 PM

That's better. I should know not to try things. I'm much better when I stick with what I know.

 

Hilarious 11 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391964
HartmanTwins 10,114 5
01/18/2006 11:39 PM

I like to let about 2/3 go down while it's still at 98.6 to warm my throat and then mix the rest with spit for a couple more extra slick strokes.



I once killed an 87 year old woman by peeling off her skin with a spoon. I started at the back of the neck and stopped at her cooch. I bunched the skin together and muff dived in the overwhelming saggy skin until she expired and releaseD her bowels.





What Trix said made me more sick.

 

Side-splitting 8 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1391995
Spicey McHaggis 102,816 13
01/18/2006 11:58 PM

<action>crosses wedding cake off of the planning list.</action>Better safe than sorry, I always say.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392006
CG-Version 2.0.06 86,588 7
01/19/2006 12:05 AM

You'll be ok, just as long as your wedding cake isn't made of Twinkies.

 

Hilarious 2 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392025
Walter Sobchest 201,941 7
01/19/2006 12:17 AM

But, how can you resist?

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392031
Inspector Trixxie a/t case o/t Missing Doorknob 64,479 13
01/19/2006 12:21 AM

Yeah Twins, I could tell you wuz on the down low.

 

Side-splitting 1 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392032
Barefoot Chance ALOG member 168,281 11
01/19/2006 12:22 AM

I think I'm in hog heaven.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392101
Flippant Filly 27,155 11
01/19/2006 01:09 AM

I swallow.



Bottoms up!

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392105
Bankey 70,607 8
01/19/2006 01:11 AM

The way I'm reading this, Filly likes teh ATM.





word.

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392110
Declan McManus-They say that bears have affairs 115,733 11
01/19/2006 01:21 AM

ATM is the modern way to get cash....when you're out and about!

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392114
Filly 27,155 11
01/19/2006 01:27 AM

I like the ATM, but the ATM doesn't like me. I'm sensing a pattern here.

 

Side-splitting 1 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392120
HartmanTwins 10,114 5
01/19/2006 01:32 AM

Yeah Twins, I could tell you wuz on the down low.



I have no idea what that means but sure.

 

Funny 5 votes 3.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392121
Fluorescent Sombrero 90,999 8
01/19/2006 01:32 AM

I swallow.







But hey, Stop looking at me like that.



At least I don't suck dick.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392128
Darrin 0 0
01/19/2006 01:38 AM

I don't think it's anyone's business on GAB whether I spit or swallow.



Hey Rider, I swallow just to let you know.

 

Side-splitting 1 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392129
Fluorescent Sombrero 90,999 8
01/19/2006 01:41 AM

I drink Pineapple Juice religiously.





Unrelated: I own at least one issue of Maxim.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392130
Darrin 0 0
01/19/2006 01:42 AM

That's hot.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392134
Fluorescent Sombrero 90,999 8
01/19/2006 01:47 AM

That's sweet.

 

Side-splitting 1 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392157
Suicide Ranger 27,449 10
01/19/2006 02:13 AM

I have a buddy that likes that, we all think he is kind of weird, but he also has a Medicinal Marijuana card so we see past it.

 

Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392160
Rider the T in T&A 2,006 6
01/19/2006 02:13 AM

Hey Rider, I swallow just to let you know.



SCORE!!

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392166
S. Kake 55,241 10
01/19/2006 02:17 AM

I prefer she place it gently on a velvet pillow.

 

Hilarious 5 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392168
Bankey 70,607 8
01/19/2006 02:18 AM

he also has a Medicinal Marijuana card so we see past it.



God man, just don't share his bong.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392170
Suicide Ranger 27,449 10
01/19/2006 02:21 AM

No, but he can have up too a pound of the stuff on him, so he carries all of it.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392173
Torch18 3,226 6
01/19/2006 02:25 AM

I'm a guy, so my opinion probably doesn't carry much weight, but I think one good spit deserves another.

 

Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392177
Fluorescent Sombrero 90,999 8
01/19/2006 02:27 AM

I wonder if BIG can spread some knowledge about that, SR.



He can carry a bag containing a pound, worry free, with the card.



But if, lets say, you're on the way to a party, and he is carrying a backpack containing 1 1/4lb bag, his personal, as well as 2 ounces for the buddies, 4 Halfs and 8 Quarters for Party-Goers, Do you really think he's in the legal confines of the law?





In Canada, Such is not the case, but I base nothing off of that. Your good ol USA is pretty Frosted up.

 

Funny 3 votes 3.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392179
Crazyballs 11,865 7
01/19/2006 02:29 AM

Just to let everyone know, I read this thread slowly at first, then steped it up to a medium pace.



















I only got to read the firs 6 posts, though.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392180
Fluorescent Sombrero 90,999 8
01/19/2006 02:29 AM

An aquaintence of mine, Ninja Dan, has a card too.



He's had spinabifida or some Shakespeare since he was a baby, And somehow now, at 19, he can not only walk and run and bend, but he's a triple black belt in Ninjitsu.



Last I heard from him, He was taking a trip somewhere and airport officials had to find him an area to go to smoke a joint, due to his condition and card. He puffed a fatty in the corner of the terminal farthest from any other people.



So that's pretty cool.

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392181
Mr. Sir. 66,532 7
01/19/2006 02:32 AM

"I'm smoking a J 'cause my spinabifida hurts me."



"Yeah, well my bunions are acting up, so Puff-Puff-Pass, mother-Froster."

 

Hilarious 5 votes 4.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392182
S. Kake 55,241 10
01/19/2006 02:33 AM

Wait, BIG has access to medical marijuana? Where the Frost has he BEEN? I've been dry for months.

 

Amusing 1 votes 1.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392186
Crazyballs 11,865 7
01/19/2006 02:39 AM

Months?!? How do you live!

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392187
Millie 107,064 10
01/19/2006 02:39 AM

Don't the feds ignore the state medical marijuana laws?



If a federal agent catches your buddy with a pound of pot, he's going to be tasting more than just his own semen. At least he likes the taste.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392188
Chit Eating Grin 163,948 10
01/19/2006 02:40 AM

SR, you have a little vomit fetish there ? I thought you didn't inhale.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392189
Fluorescent Sombrero 90,999 8
01/19/2006 02:41 AM

Kake Kake Kake...

BIG is a law student.

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392191
Walter Sobchest 201,941 7
01/19/2006 02:42 AM

But if, lets say, you're on the way to a party, and he is carrying a backpack containing 1 1/4lb bag, his personal, as well as 2 ounces for the buddies, 4 Halfs and 8 Quarters for Party-Goers, Do you really think he's in the legal confines of the law?



I don't wanna sound like an Emerson or anything, but wouldn't the obvious answer be "no?"



Last time I weighed my dick, I noticed that 1 1/4 pounds is more than 1 pound.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392192
Fluorescent Sombrero 90,999 8
01/19/2006 02:44 AM

One Quarter Pound Bag.



There were no plurals.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392195
Walter Sobchest 201,941 7
01/19/2006 02:47 AM

You need to be more clear in your questioning then.



In that case, if he is showing that he has intent to sell, or distribute the drugs, he is no longer working within the confines of the law and can be arrested.



I think.

 

Hilarious 1 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392199
Mr. Sir. 66,532 7
01/19/2006 02:49 AM

I'm sure that having any amount divied into multiple bags/containers would make the situation suspect enough that you would get hassled by the man, man.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392202
Walter Sobchest 201,941 7
01/19/2006 02:51 AM

That's what I'm sayin, man.

 

Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392203
Fluorescent Sombrero 90,999 8
01/19/2006 02:52 AM

I figured as much.



That said, It would still be considered the same if he were carrying his purse bag, as well as a couple other bags for his friends, Lets say an Oz and a Half Oz.





I'm fairly certain that the laws here are up to 30 grams is allowable (no arrest, you just lose it), So long as its 1 bag. Not 2, 4 or even 82 bags.





So hey, If your buddy gets busted with your bud, SR, he can expect to get snowballed every single day in Federal.

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392204
S. Kake 55,241 10
01/19/2006 02:52 AM

I just want a Frost-ing OUNCE. I mean, I wouldn't mind a pound or ton or something, but I'll settle for an ounce.





OK, two ounces.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392205
Millie 107,064 10
01/19/2006 02:53 AM

Excuse me, people.



The point is moot.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392206
HartmanTwins 10,114 5
01/19/2006 02:53 AM

I've never smoked a joint, but to answer Hat's questiong: Maybe.





Let's move on.

 

Side-splitting 1 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392207
Mr. Sir. 66,532 7
01/19/2006 02:53 AM

Modeler's glue and paper bags are legal.





Just sayin'

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392208
Millie 107,064 10
01/19/2006 02:53 AM

By the way, Kake, come up to Maine.



My brother, the lawyer, can hook you up.

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392210
Mr. Sir. 66,532 7
01/19/2006 02:54 AM

I guess Millie wants to get back to talking about swallowing jizz.





We all know that Hartman Twins does.

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392212
The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 130,838 14
01/19/2006 02:55 AM

The pot-jacking of this thread is about as much a turn-off as if JillyWilly had started posting here about how she spits it in the blender, and mixes it with soy sauce to make a protein shake.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392213
Chit Eating Grin 163,948 10
01/19/2006 02:55 AM

It doesn't take Shakespeare to set up a store to actually sell the stuff here. You have to not mind being held up at gun point by gang members every now and then though.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392215
Millie 107,064 10
01/19/2006 02:56 AM

I was talking about pot. As much as Declan wishes it were not so, my brother doesn't suck dick. At least, not that I know of.

 

Hilarious 2 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392216
S. Kake 55,241 10
01/19/2006 02:57 AM



My brother, the lawyer, can hook you up.




That's funny, I've been trying to get my girlfriend, the doctor, to hook me up. She's a professor at the hippiest school ever, and she can't find weed? Shenanigans!

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392218
Millie 107,064 10
01/19/2006 02:59 AM

Personally, I wouldn't know where to find it here, even though I live in the hippiest town in Maine.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392221
HartmanTwins 10,114 5
01/19/2006 03:01 AM

I agreed with Kake. If you're going to let it in your mouth, why not swallow?







Now you go.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392224
Crazyballs 11,865 7
01/19/2006 03:02 AM

Hey! I thought we were talking about blowjobs!

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392225
Millie 107,064 10
01/19/2006 03:02 AM

I already said all I had to say on the subject.

 

Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392230
S. Kake 55,241 10
01/19/2006 03:03 AM

I agreed with Kake. If you're going to let it in your mouth, why not swallow?



Are we still talking about pot? Cause that will upset your tummy.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392507
Suicide Ranger 27,449 10
01/19/2006 10:12 AM

SR, you have a little vomit fetish there ? I thought you didn't inhale.



It's true I don't smoke that stuff. It would probably kill me. It does however make me feel more comfortable to have someone around that can legally carry it.





 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392697
Inspector Trixxie a/t case o/t Missing Doorknob 64,479 13
01/19/2006 07:07 PM

B.I.G. is a law student? "May I introduce your opposing counsel?" "Blahhhhhhhhhhh, You win, my client was Frost-ing his secretary, the baby sitter and the neighbors' cat. Here is his bank account number and the deed and titles to everything he used to own."

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1392787
Torch18 3,226 6
01/19/2006 08:40 PM

Hey! I thought we were talking about blowjobs!



(Its possible that everyone MAY have their mouths full at the moment.)

 

Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1393336
Vlad The Impaler (Purveyor of aMurder.com) 19,532 10
01/20/2006 03:48 AM

Wait, BIG has access to medical marijuana? Where the cuddle has he BEEN? I've been dry for months.



Wow, Vlad never realized you could run out of pot. Maybe Vlad's just taken the availability of pot in Oregon for granted. Seriously, you can ask anyone here if they can hook you up, and they'll know someone that either grows or sells. Hell, Vlad met a guy that worked in an umarked factory where they made bongs and "scientific glass piping" which Vlad took to mean "meth lab supplies."





Portland is missing many hand rails thanks to those damn methies.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1393433
Suicide Ranger 27,449 10
01/20/2006 05:50 AM

Pot and Swallowing... GREATEST THREAD EVER!!!!!

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1393435
Suicide Ranger 27,449 10
01/20/2006 05:51 AM

All we need now is Jedi Knight Ninjas.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1393475
The Almighty 8,675 5
01/20/2006 06:54 AM

<action>just reading the title</action> You finally showered?

 

Funny 3 votes 3.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695326
Undies, about to be a mommy again! 72,890 16
08/20/2007 08:17 AM

Bumping because the new people might need to know who the nice girls are on GAB.

 

Funny 2 votes 3.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695329
cattnip 790 4
08/20/2007 08:30 AM

screw spitting or swallowing i just let him go on my boobies. thats just me though.

he likes the show and i get whatever i want in return. he has to clean up though.

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695339
Chit 163,948 10
08/20/2007 08:53 AM

he has to clean up though.


"I guarantee that if you take a shower with your boyfriend, by the time you get out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean."

--Sarah Silverman

 

Hilarious 1 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695343
That's What She Said 14,775 8
08/20/2007 09:10 AM

In a (very strange) conversation with some co-workers last night on the topic of spitting or swallowing, my friend told a tale of a girl who used to scrape it out of condoms and freeze it into popcicles.

No, it's not me.

 

Chuckleworthy 2 votes 2.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695344
That's What She Said 14,775 8
08/20/2007 09:14 AM

And I swallow by the way.

 

Chuckleworthy 1 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695345
The Sage of Seattle (The Superlative of Lame!) 36,343 5
08/20/2007 09:31 AM

<action>makes notes</action>

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695371
Big Boobs Mcgee 6,325 8
08/20/2007 11:04 AM

Like every woman has basically said, it just makes more sense.

Also, Vegitarians have sweeter come. Meat makes it taste more bitter. It really is true.

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695372
Millie 107,064 10
08/20/2007 11:06 AM

Nah. My ex-husband a veg since he was 14 and his semen tasted gross.

 

Chuckleworthy 1 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695374
Millie 107,064 10
08/20/2007 11:06 AM

I seem to have left out a word or two.

But I think you get the idea.

 

Side-splitting 1 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695470
Undies, about to be a mommy again! 72,890 16
08/20/2007 08:45 PM

What I love about this thread, is that Spicey and I actually didn't have a wedding cake.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695510
See the Chickens Dance 238,139 14
08/20/2007 11:47 PM

How did I miss this thread?

 

Funny 2 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695514
Undies, about to be a mommy again! 72,890 16
08/21/2007 12:08 AM

Ok, Chix. So do you spit or swallow?

 

Chuckleworthy 1 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695515
See the Chickens Dance 238,139 14
08/21/2007 12:17 AM

I have no idea.

 

Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695516
Thank you Boob Lady! 51,808 10
08/21/2007 12:22 AM

Mainly because by the time the eigth or ninth man in the bukkake circle has finished he has no idea if any of it's gone down his throat or not.

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695519
See the Chickens Dance 238,139 14
08/21/2007 12:29 AM

It does get a bit confusing.




HEY!

 

Funny 2 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1695521
See the Chickens Dance 238,139 14
08/21/2007 12:33 AM

Well, that answers that question.