Senior Destructor: Senior Destructor 60,724 12
01/17/2006 12:31 AM

I respect my mother, who died of cancer when I was 14. I miss her every day, but when someone on a Frost-ing comedy forum says "your mother's a dirty whore," I don't get all crazy. It's a joke. Lighten up.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
01/17/2006 12:34 AM

SD's mother is a dirty rotten whore.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
01/17/2006 12:34 AM

But she's still better looking than your Dad.

Senior Destructor: Senior Destructor 60,724 12
01/17/2006 12:35 AM

I actually expected Ollie to get in here and say he masturbates with her ashes but, meh, good enough.

rahrahgranny 773 7
01/17/2006 12:37 AM

Shouldn't someone say they masturbate with her dad's amputated arm?



'cuz, yeah, that'd be funny!

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
01/17/2006 12:38 AM

I actually expected Ollie to get in here and say he masturbates with her ashes



I think he's more into corpses.

Senior Destructor: Senior Destructor 60,724 12
01/17/2006 12:38 AM

Yeah, because when I think "person that knows funny," I think "rahrahgranny."

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
01/17/2006 12:40 AM

I'm hoping to get email.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
01/17/2006 12:43 AM

<action>cuts off rahrahgranny's dad's arm and masturbates with it; stops and thinks for a moment.</action>





...



rahrah, you were wrong. It's not funny.

Millie 116,988 28
01/17/2006 12:49 AM

Um, O.K.



But it was an offhand remark and the person who said it doesn't actually know your father (I'm assuming).



I love my mother, but I don't take it personally if someone here makes a stupid joke about her. Because they don't know her.



My dad? He's fair game.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
01/17/2006 12:56 AM

Millie,

You're mom makes a STUPID bean casserole.



Heh.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
01/17/2006 12:57 AM

So does your mom.

Millie 116,988 28
01/17/2006 01:03 AM

Hah! My mom never made a bean cassarole!



I call "fat daughter" on your statement.



Coincidentally, my dad used to call me his fat daughter. Which is part of the reason why I don't care what people say about him.

Millie 116,988 28
01/17/2006 01:03 AM

She never made bean casserole, either. So there.

Walter Sobchest 203,475 12
01/17/2006 01:10 AM

I actually expected Ollie to get in here and say he masturbates with her ashes but, meh, good enough.



I cut my coke with her ashes, and then beat off while wearing he panties when I'm high.

Walter Sobchest 203,475 12
01/17/2006 01:14 AM

That was supposed to be her panties, but he panties sounds pretty funny too.

Fartpuppy - Still turning girls into lesbians 5,142 13
01/17/2006 01:16 AM

Quicksilvergirl, how about you pity me on the end of my dick.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
01/17/2006 08:40 AM

You know, I have this terribly embarrassing personal problem.



I think I'll go start a thread and ask people not to make fun of me because of it.

Tastes Real Arousing Everyday 12,363 11
01/17/2006 08:41 AM

And your Dad?

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
01/17/2006 08:47 AM

He's got one, too.

Piemaster - I AM Vlaccid 12,538 15
01/17/2006 09:53 AM

You've given out 19 clickies in all?



I'm going to hunt you down, find your home, follow you to work, collect all of your family members, names, addresses, and children's info. Then I'm going to tell you that your dad is a mime.



Now, STFU or SUYT.

Snork - Gethsemane Gardener. 45,655 12
01/17/2006 10:24 AM

Riding on the

Snork - Gethsemane Gardener. 45,655 12
01/17/2006 10:25 AM

My browser messed up. You can fill in whatever for the second part of that statement.

HRH BobJohnson 178,045 22
01/17/2006 10:30 AM

How did you guys celebrate MLK Jr. Day?



Although it's not technically a holiday here, I couldn't resist doing something to celebrate. . . so I listened to that "I have a dream" speech that MLK made.



You know, the one written by QuicksilverGirl's dad.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 10:33 AM

<action> Grins</action>

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 10:49 AM

There was this one time, when Quicksilvergirl's dad was storming a hill. It was 1943, just outside of Anzio, Italy.



Reinforcements hadn't arrived yet from the 12th infantry, but that didn't stop him. With the kraut's machine guns keeping him pinned down, he managed to crawl on his belly, through a half a mile of the worst things imaginable: A fetid gumbo of mud, body parts, brains, stagnant rainwater, and the worst of all, insurance salesmen.



His comrades were getting cut down to his left and his right, but Quicksilvergirl's dad kept slogging on, as the bullets whizzed overhead, sounding like a swarm of angry bees.



He kept crawling on his belly with as much speed as he could muster, as a matter of fact, sometmes moving so fast, some of the other men who survived that fateful day, said he kinda moved like "Quicksilver."



He managed to get within 10 yards of the Nazi bunker, close enough to hear them shouting "Schssling!" "Feuer!" and "Schnell!" above the seemingly incessant chattering of the German MP41's. There he waited.





And waited.

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 10:50 AM

And waited.



Finally, the miserable Krauts paused to reload. Quicksilvergirl's dad reached onto his belt, and pulled off a grenade.



He pulled the pin, and heaved it with all his might through the air, towards the narrow slit in the front of the concrete-reinforced bunker. It made a whickering sound through the air, shattering the silence that, for a split second, could have made him think that he was somewhere else, besides this Shakespearehole corner of hell.



BULLSEYE! The grenade flew through the opening and exploded barely a half second later, puncuated by the screams of dying Krauts.



Quicksilvergirl's dad, then singlehandedly entered the now neutralized bunker to check for survivors, and lo and behold, sure enough, tucked away in an alcove, safe from the grenade blast, he found a small cooing bundle.



He poked the bundle with the tip of his M-1, to make sure it wasn't a mine,and upon doing this, a piece of cloth fell away, revealing a swaddled infant.



Quicksilvergirl's dad placed his rifle on the deck, and softly picked up the infant, who, remarkably, wasn't crying, just looking at Quicksilvergirl's dad with big, sloe gin eyes.



Quicksilvergirl's dad tickled the baby's chin, revealing a small scattering of freckles.



He then and there decided that he was going to keep this obvious gift from God. Speaking for the first time in what seemed like years, Quicksilvergirl's dad opened up his mouth and uttered six words that would forever change things to come:



"I shall name you, Chuck Norris."

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 10:54 AM

BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 10:54 AM

I did NOT see that coming.

Snork - Gethsemane Gardener. 45,655 12
01/17/2006 11:05 AM

Quicksilvergirl's dad cured homosexualism!

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
01/17/2006 11:08 AM

Quicksilver's Dad is a floor cleaner and a dessert topping.

Snork - Gethsemane Gardener. 45,655 12
01/17/2006 11:10 AM

Quicksilvergirl's dad taught Jesus how to mow grass!

Mrs. JM 24,693 8
01/17/2006 11:11 AM

He stormed the beach in Normandy!

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
01/17/2006 11:12 AM

<action> Reads CG's post, and stands up applauding, with a tear in the corner of his steely eye.</action>

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 11:16 AM

He stormed the beach in Normandy!





Read above twat, it was Anzio.

Crackalacka! 68,758 11
01/17/2006 11:17 AM

Quicksilvers dad invented homosexualism. By doing himself in the ass with his amputated arm.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 11:18 AM

Only a mind as depraved as yours.. And probably CG's.. would think of that, Demo.



I am surely not QuicksilverGirl, Which will be easy to prove, because it's true. I can sit back and get fatter while she posts, or doesnt post (I couldn't care less), and you can check IP's and hack around to your hearts content.



Also, That whole Imping act would make me a hella douche.



I'm not about to spend 2+ years being a dork on this site just to throw it all away, SuperTurk style, by being a Poe-ass liar.





Fair?

Snork - Gethsemane Gardener. 45,655 12
01/17/2006 11:20 AM

Jilly, please be explaining your, dare I call it that, cognitive thought process.



How does what you just posted fit into the logical pattern of exaggerated claims of Quicksilvergirl dad's prowess?

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 11:20 AM

And I'll call me Shirley as much as I damn well please.

Mr. Sir. 66,727 9
01/17/2006 11:21 AM

Imping is making it real hard to be nice to people.



I'm trying Demo, I really am.

KChikita - A great source of Potassium! 128,316 98
01/17/2006 11:22 AM

CG, that was Frost-ing awesome.

Mrs.JM 24,693 8
01/17/2006 11:24 AM

How does what you just posted fit into the logical pattern of exaggerated claims of Quicksilvergirl dad's prowess?



I was quoting Stand By Me - you Numbskull.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 11:28 AM

Jilly, You fail at everything.



You wanna quote Stand By Me?



"THERE IS A L33CH ON MY PENIS!!!!111"

Prof. Fantabulous 19,711 13
01/17/2006 11:34 AM

You wanna quote Stand By Me?



"THERE IS A L33CH ON MY PENIS!!!!111"



That is the only line in the movie?

They did not stay true to the book at all then.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 11:34 AM

Whatever, Douchebag.



After deleting 4 different rebuttals, I've considered that it doesn't matter what I say, You're still going to have your assumptions.





This leads me to believe that you need to get some vagina as soon as possible, Because your Nerd is showing and it looks a little pained.

Zelgahdis 85 8
01/17/2006 11:40 AM

"I shall name you, Chuck Norris"



I have never laughed so Frost-ing hard. Of everything I was expecting, that wasn't even on the list.



Nice one, CG.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 11:42 AM

Remember all those times you've attempted to be the Righteous one over all others, Oh Wise OboeMonkey?



You're coming down to my level with posts like that.

Snork - Gethsemane Gardener. 45,655 12
01/17/2006 11:43 AM

I can excuse my own lackluster joke attempts on not having read CG's post, it was rather long and my attention sp-LOOK! Shiny!



Quoting movies, however, is no excuse for completely missing the point of most of the posts in this thread: the basic premise of the whole joke is to make unbelievable, exaggerated claims on the goodliness and/or awesomeness of QSGirl's dad. Something like: "QuicksilverGirl's dad succored Mother Teresa on his left teat and the Baby Jesus on his right" - would have made sense: it was an escalation, a logical progression of unbelievability, of the things BobJohnson and others posted.



You post was not an escalation. It could, in fact, have been the truth.

Darrin 21,346 0
01/17/2006 11:43 AM

Now I'll never get a date to the formal.



I'll be your date. Just be sure to wear your tin foil hat because you know I can read your mind.



I'll make sure my sleeves are real big.

Snork - Gethsemane Gardener. 45,655 12
01/17/2006 11:52 AM

Notice: My last post is tied-in with the ongoing study on whether or not e-tards understand stuff.



Jilly is a particularly , ah, 'interesting' test subject.

Mr. Sir. 66,727 9
01/17/2006 11:53 AM

Slowly, a sound started to build in Lardass' stomach. A strange and scary sound, like a log truck coming at you at a hundred miles-an-hour. Suddenly, Lardass opened his mouth, and before Bill Travis knew it he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's tits. But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when Lardass' plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women's Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And Lardass just sat back and enjoyed what he'd created--a complete and total barf-o-rama!

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 11:59 AM

It was a warm summer day, in July of 1957, the 6th, to be exact.



After singlehandedly defeating the entire Third Reich only 12 years prior, Quicksilvergirl's dad decided to finally take it easy. He decided to visit some friends in the small town of Woolton, England.



One day, during his vacation, both of his friends had to work, and no one to take care of their 14 year old son, Paul, so, Quicksilvergirl's dad, being the gracious guest that he is, said, "Don't worry, go earn a living, I will assume the responsibility of watching your son for the afternoon."



Quicksilvergirl's Dad's friends, breathing a sigh of relief, thanked their guest, and told him that they would be back sometime in the early evening.

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 11:59 AM

Quicksilvergirl's dad then turned to his ward for the day, and said, "Ok, it's just us, what would you like to do today?" To which the boy replied, "There is a musical group playing down the street at St. Peter's Church. I would really like to see them, do you mind if we go?" to which Quicksilvergirl's Dad replied "Sure!"



Off to St. Peter's Church they went. As they approached, they could hear the faint strains of the day's entertainment in the distance. "Someday I would love to be in a band," the boy remarked. "Anything is possible," Quicksilvergirl's dad replied.



They arrived at St. Peter's Church just in time to see the featured entertainment perform their version of the Dell-Vikings, "Come Go With Me." The boy was entranced. After the number was concluded, the band announced they were going to take a short break.



Quicksilvergirl's dad turned to the awestruck boy and said, "Go introduce yourself. Tell them you play guitar too!"



The boy responded, "No way. I'm too chicken, I can't do that...let's just go."



Quicksilvergirl's dad noticed that the boy was nervous, visibly shaking. He tried to calm the boy, "It's ok. I will go over and tell them that you would like to say hello."

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 11:59 AM

Quicksilvergirl's dad made his way across the freshly mowed garden, and approached the band. The boy in his care noticed that the man was talking to the singer for a moment, who then hopped down off the makeshift stage and with Quicksilvergirl's dad, began to approach. The boy was nervous as the two men approached.



When they met, Quicksilvergirl's dad opened his mouth and said, "Paul McCartney, I'd like you to meet the lead singer of the band the Quarrymen. His name is John Lennon."

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 12:05 PM

I didn't read this thread, and I don't know what everyone is talking about, so I will go with the GAB standards.





The new person is wrong. Jilly is a moron. Ollie probably Frosted the new person's family memeber. And Oboe is taking the high road, whereas Hat is just high.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
01/17/2006 12:07 PM

When they met, Quicksilvergirl's dad opened his mouth and said, "Paul McCartney, I'd like you to meet the lead singer of the band the Quarrymen. His name is John Lennon."



John Lennon replied: "Hi Paul. Quicksilvergirl's dad tells me you play the guitar. Would you be interested in joining our band? We just fired our lead guitarist. He was good with the guitar, but had somewhat of a temper problem. His name is Chuck Norris."

Mr. Sir. 66,727 9
01/17/2006 12:08 PM

Don't forget:



BIG is drunk, Chickens is dead/gay, Brad nails, Sup plies, Frat Bankey, and last but not least: He's a dude?!?

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
01/17/2006 12:09 PM

<action> has a blinding flash of insight. . .</action>

Could it be that this is all a case of a "Triple Reverse Blind"?



Could Oboe (DemoMonkey), be QuickSilver? And to make the plot even more convoluted;



Could Oboe/Demo/CG/Jeff Hargrave/QuickSilver, all be Imps of Jay Stevens, and he is using these personae to divide GABbers for his own nefarious plans?



Wait,



Turns out the blinding flash I had was my wife hitting the back of my head and yelling at me to "GET BACK TO WORK!".



Please disregard the above. Thank You

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 12:09 PM

I wish I was high, You pricks.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 12:11 PM

- Phla's oven is on, but she's busy showering with her toaster.



- SHP is waiting on line for Sir Mountian.



- Ditdah is a horrible lesbian.



- Roofie is being nice.



- Jep likes money, cash, prose.

Mr. Sir. 66,727 9
01/17/2006 12:13 PM

JEP likes booze too, don't forget that.

Snork - Gethsemane Gardener. 45,655 12
01/17/2006 12:13 PM

I totally make lists, like, ALL THE TIME.

Mr. Sir. 66,727 9
01/17/2006 12:15 PM

And, much to my disappointment, nobody is riding Sir Mountain.

Snork - Gethsemane Gardener. 45,655 12
01/17/2006 12:18 PM

You know who's riding Sir's Mountain? QuicksilverGirl's dad, that's who.

Mr. Sir. 66,727 9
01/17/2006 12:19 PM

Well-played Snork.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 12:20 PM

Gabbers who look alike:

- Neep

- Jaggy

- Snork

Mrs.JM 24,693 8
01/17/2006 12:30 PM

Ditdah's boobs are huge!

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 12:31 PM

How have you not died?

Darrin 21,346 0
01/17/2006 12:32 PM

<action>runs straight up to Sir Mountain since there is no line. Listens to crickets chirp</action>



Wally World is closed?

Mrs.JM 24,693 8
01/17/2006 12:34 PM

How have you not died?



I take my vitamins daily. How have you not died?

Mr. Sir. 66,727 9
01/17/2006 12:35 PM

Darrin- Two words:



Exotic Tangerines.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
01/17/2006 12:35 PM

Ditdah's boobs are huge!





This just in;





Fire, Hot!

Darrin 21,346 0
01/17/2006 12:37 PM

Sir,



Did you get your erotic letters from Ben Vereen?



Damn, double damn. Damn, damn.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 12:37 PM

How have I not died? The alcohol kills everything else.

The Last Nacho On The Plate 57,521 23
01/17/2006 12:41 PM

Actually I don't think that's two far from the. Every time I used to feel ill I'd go to the pub and get through a couple of litres of whisky. The next day I'd be right as rain.



Ever since I gave up drinking I'm ill all the Frost-ing time.



But that might just be the Aids.

The Last Nacho On The Plate 57,521 23
01/17/2006 12:42 PM

And from the look of that first setence I drank enough to keep me pissed five years later.

lupience- Waiting for tulips 26,981 11
01/17/2006 12:44 PM

My father was murdered a year ago, on the 12th.



Thanks for bringing it up you insensitive bitch.

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 12:53 PM

September 11, 2001 started out just like any other day for Quicksilvergirl's dad. He woke up, showered, ate breakfast and headed to Newark Airport in New Jersey to catch his flight to California.



As he was non-chalantly walking through the terminal, he looked out the window at his plane, a big, Boeing 757, that would take him all the way across the continent. He checked the monitors in the terminal for the status of his flight: Flight 93, delayed: 45 minutes.



He had time to grab a box of chocolate munchkins from the Dunkin' Donuts in the terminal. Chocolate munchkins were his favorite, because they reminded him of chocolate cake, and that reminded him of GERMAN chocolate cake, which reminded him about the time he singlehandedly stormed a filthy Kraut bunker and rescued a baby.



Anyway, with his munchkins in tow, he boarded flight 93.



The plane taxied, then gently rolled down the tarmac, lazily lifting off into a bright blue sky. The day was unusually warm and clear. Quicksilvergirl's dad made sure to sit in a window seat, to eat his munchkins, and enjoy the view.



Approximately 20 minutes into the flight, something went horribly wrong. Details are sketchy, but the plane began to make an abrupt turn towards Washington DC.

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 12:54 PM

By now, the passenger's fate was sealed, but they decided to fight back.



Knowing that they were part of an elaborate hijacking and apparent suicide mission, Quicksilvergirl's dad corralled the other passengers towards the back of the plane, and devised a plan: they were going to try to take the plane.



After passengers were herded to the back of the jet, Quicksilvergirl's Dad called the GTE Customer Center in Oakbrook, Illinois. He told supervisor Lisa Jefferson about the hijacking. The passengers were planning to jump the terrorists, he said. And then he asked her to pray with him.



As Newsweek relates, "Quicksilvergirl's Dad kept a Lord's Prayer bookmark in his Tom Clancy novel, but he didn't need any prompting. He began to recite the ancient litany, and Jefferson joined him: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name."



As they finished, Quicksilvergirl's Dad added, "Jesus, help me." And then, he and his fellow passengers prayed a prayer that has comforted millions down through the centuries -- the prayer that David wrote in a time of great anguish: The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want . . . Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.



And then the famous last words uttered by Quicksilvergirl's Dad: "Are you guys ready? Let's roll."



There is a little known postscript to the above story. The news outlets would have you believe that there were no survivors on that fateful day in Shanksville, PA. But eyewitness accounts tell of a man, one man.



Just one man.



Exiting the smoking wreckage under his own power, stopping only to brush off a piece of lint that had settled on his lapel.

Chit Eating Grin 178,781 15
01/17/2006 01:01 PM

Ok, Who was CG's SS, and where the hell did you find the "Life and Times of Commander McBrag" book ?

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
01/17/2006 01:13 PM

API 1/17/2006 12:54Pm



Clairmont, New Hampshire



Sherrif's deputies, during a routine patrol, spotted a "large red bull" with a baseball bat, standing over a dead horse.



When the deputies stopped to question the red bull (Later identified as "Mufftaur".), the red bull hid the baseball bat behind his back and told the deputies that he was; "Just checking the poor creature for a pulse".



No charges were filed, but the deputies did take the baseball bat and called the Animal Control authorities.

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 01:16 PM

Heh.

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 01:16 PM

Meh.



I'm done anyway.



He is awesome, but not THAT awesome.

Fratberry 283,018 53
01/17/2006 01:24 PM

Frostin' Chuck Norris.

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 01:25 PM

Thanks Demo.



or, should I say, QUICKSILVERGIRL?





Dun DUN DUNN!

HRH BobJohnson 178,045 22
01/17/2006 01:26 PM

There was a time on GAB when there would have been 16 "No matter what I lay..." parody threads started by now.

Millie 116,988 28
01/17/2006 02:02 PM

Quicksilver Girl is not Hat. I base that on the fact that in one of her posts she said she loved me, and he has never said anything like that.



Also, she used a big word in one of her first posts, and he doesn't know any big words.



I am sorry that she took offense to something someone said, but, honestly, it can't really be considered a personal remark when you take it in context, so I'm puzzled by her strong reaction.

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 02:06 PM

Thanks to my Internet Sleuthing 101 kit.



This is Quicksilvergirl.

Darrin 21,346 0
01/17/2006 02:08 PM

I wonder if her dad taught her to like SPAM.



Guh-ross!

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 02:09 PM

Silly Darrin.



Her Dad INVENTED Spam.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 02:10 PM

QuicksilverGirl's father is Al Gore?



This is making too much sense to even peanut butter!!!

Zelgahdis 85 8
01/17/2006 02:14 PM

"Teacher for the developmentally disabled?"



And yet she has no patience for GABers...

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 02:24 PM

I don't know who this n00b "Zeldahgis" is, but so far, I like.

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 02:25 PM

Or however the Frost you spell your name.....







Stupid n00b.

Zelgahdis 85 8
01/17/2006 02:37 PM

I've been called a n00b AND complimented by CG, the bringer of the tale of Chuck Norris.



I can die happily now.

Crazyballs 11,888 10
01/17/2006 02:38 PM

So...what are you waiting for?

Darrin 21,346 0
01/17/2006 02:41 PM

You're a Frost-ing ass kiss, Zeldagringer.



I think CG is smart and funny and he is good at bike riding.

newwave 45,912 10
01/17/2006 02:46 PM

Also, he has an enormous penis.











...in his ass!

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 02:47 PM

2!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 02:49 PM

Thanks for the Compliment, NKB!

Millie 116,988 28
01/17/2006 02:49 PM

You have two penises in your ass?



Wow. No wonder Declan is so fond of you.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 02:49 PM

OR Newwave. You know.

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
01/17/2006 03:20 PM

That reminds me of the Mexican with two penises.

He named the first one Jose'



and he named the second one BLAMMO!!!!!

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 03:22 PM

Hose B?

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
01/17/2006 03:30 PM

No Chris, he named it "Blammo."



It's not a joke you really want to tell at a party or anything.

Ditdah 123,110 14
01/17/2006 03:32 PM

Oh please! Like he ever gets invited to parties.

Darrin 21,346 0
01/17/2006 03:33 PM

Chris,

I'm having a party. Would you like to come?

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 03:35 PM

Would you like to come?



Oh you just opened a can of worms.

Ditdah 123,110 14
01/17/2006 03:36 PM

He probably just did.

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 03:39 PM

Did you hear about the Mexican with THREE penises?



His pants fit like a glove.

Ditdah 123,110 14
01/17/2006 03:40 PM

My timing sucks today.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
01/17/2006 03:40 PM

Oh you just opened a can of worms.



Is that what we're calling her vagina now?

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 03:42 PM

It's what I use as one, So Sure!

Darrin 21,346 0
01/17/2006 03:43 PM

I don't have a Medusa vagina.



Shut the Frost up, Mailman.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 03:46 PM

When I gaze into your parted thighs...





... I'd rather go get stoned.









Sounds Medusa-like to me.

Darrin 21,346 0
01/17/2006 03:47 PM

HAT, I promise you. You will never see my parted thighs.

Zolton, Ribbed for Her Pleasure 88,200 34
01/17/2006 03:49 PM

<action>puts on his 'party thighs'

Gah! The chinstrap's too tight!



Get it off! Get it off!

Zolton, Ribbed for Her Pleasure 88,200 34
01/17/2006 03:49 PM

Damn.



My 'internal filter' seems to have Tuesday off. Bitches!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/17/2006 03:55 PM

I wouldn't want to.



I'm gay.

Darrin 21,346 0
01/17/2006 03:59 PM

Right. I forgot. Sorry, HAT.

The Big Crackowski 68,758 11
01/17/2006 04:03 PM

I wouldn't mind takin a peek though, just to see if this whole can of worms thing it true.

Darrin 21,346 0
01/17/2006 04:04 PM

TAKE IT TO CHAT, CRACK!



Was that good, HAT?

The Big Crackowski 68,758 11
01/17/2006 04:06 PM

Oh, I'm sorry. I must have given off the wrong impression. I didn't want to flirt, I just wanted to see your Poe.

Darrin 21,346 0
01/17/2006 04:10 PM

You already have. Nice of you to forget.

Gorky Thatcher- Outlaw Poet 41,132 13
01/17/2006 04:30 PM

<action>calls for a group hug</action>>Keep your THOUGHTS positive because your thoughts become your WORDS.

>Keep your WORDS positive because your words become your ACTIONS.

>Keep your ACTIONS positive because your actions become your HABITS.

>Keep your HABITS positive because your habits become your VALUES.

>Keep your VALUES positive because your values shape your thoughts and

>create your FUTURE.....

>e" Gandhi



I think this statement originated with QuicksilverGirl's father, not Gandhie as commonly thought.

Snork - Gethsemane Gardener. 45,655 12
01/17/2006 05:19 PM

The Father grew tired of the world and the world ceased to be.

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
01/17/2006 08:30 PM

Bump for the night shift.





CLICK MY 3 STORIES! I WORKED HARD ON THEM!

Ditdah 123,110 14
01/17/2006 09:11 PM

Shut up, clickie whore.

Ditdah 123,110 14
01/17/2006 09:12 PM

Oh, sorry - that was just wrong.





















































Shut up, orb whore.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
01/17/2006 09:48 PM

Careful with the orb whoring, the last gal that tried that had a strange change in her appearance. As seen in these before and after photos.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 09:50 PM

Hmmm, the new kid has a sense of humor and can probably understand Oboe and BJ's nerd jokes.



Is that really you Suzie?

Queen_Ilikimikimaka 440 8
01/17/2006 09:51 PM

Great, I miss everything when I'm off having a life.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 09:52 PM

If you hold the gun to your head you have less of a chance of missing.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
01/17/2006 10:04 PM

Me? Suzie?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 10:05 PM

Yeah, don't worry, you have no idea what I am talking about.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 10:06 PM

I probably shouldn't have ended that post with a preposition.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
01/17/2006 10:10 PM

Holy Shakespeare someone's actually *talking* to me...oh, I made a mess and pissed myself.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
01/17/2006 10:11 PM

So who do I have to Frost to get 5 orbs around here?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 10:13 PM

BobJohnson, Chickens, CG, Trae, Roofie, SHP, Ollie, well, pretty much anyone, except Jilly2K.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
01/17/2006 10:17 PM

Your name is mysteriously missing from the list. Aren't you lusting after my tight...hot...moist...firm...



















mind?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 10:19 PM

The creepy internet guy doesn't work well for me. I am more the Emerson that no one likes, but no one seems to mind he's at a party.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
01/17/2006 10:20 PM

It's filled with prepositions, lots and lots of preeeepooostioons....come on, you know you want to...

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 10:22 PM

Pffft, I already have an internet girlfriend. She's a supermodel who lives in Europe.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
01/17/2006 10:25 PM

BIG: Hearing that conjures up visions of committing suicide by slipping on liquid soap in WalMart and posting it in GAB.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 10:27 PM

Here, let me help you out.



Put this at the end of my last post:



</sarcasm

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
01/17/2006 10:32 PM

what the Frost? She doesn't live in Europe?!

Gorky Thatcher- Outlaw Poet 41,132 13
01/17/2006 10:35 PM

what the Frost? She doesn't live in Europe?!



As long as she likes Bon Jovi, she could be Swahili.

Mwahiy 5,425 9
01/17/2006 10:35 PM

$20 says BIG winds up with testicular cancer...same as in town

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 10:36 PM

Here's the crash course:



- All GABbers' significant others are locked in their basement. (Except Donk and TTJ, they alternate and Gorckat, he's scared of the basement.)



- Don't take anything that Hat or I say seriously.



- We probably won't like you, but if you don't suck we will stand you. (Yes, I know the oral sex connotations, but we have enough girls that suck dick at bus stops.)



- Disreguard that last item, there is never enough.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
01/17/2006 10:42 PM

Don't take anything that Hat or I say seriously.



And you're not going to take me seriously either when I tell you to go Frost yourself. Right?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 10:45 PM

No, I'll take that seriously because its usually on the agenda anyway.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
01/17/2006 10:46 PM

As long as she likes Bon Jovi, she could be Swahili.



Does it count if her six-string's in hock at the Harlem Pawn shop?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 10:47 PM

Wow, you are trying a little too hard.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
01/17/2006 10:54 PM

Touchy, touchy Big Guy, easy there....she'll find her way back to you.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/17/2006 10:55 PM

BWAHAHAHA, you give me too much credit.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
05/23/2006 03:14 PM

I just found this thread in my Favorites.





Good times.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
05/23/2006 11:50 PM

SD's CG's mother is a dirty rotten whore.

LLLLLLLLL 48,662 14
05/24/2006 01:41 PM

It looks like I missed something interesting.

Chickens N Sweet Brown Rice 08 286,539 61
05/24/2006 01:48 PM

He's not your real dad.

Slinky 28,185 10
01/10/2008 04:16 AM

FOUND IT!

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
01/10/2008 12:18 PM

Slinky's mother is a dirty rotten whore.

Juan Campos 1,173 5
04/14/2009 10:50 PM

So what the Frost was up with QuickSilverGirl's dad?

Thud 68,497 19
04/14/2009 11:02 PM

"He reproduced" would be my guess.