Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/19/2006 04:53 PM

Frostin Vato vs. Frostin Cholo, SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
01/19/2006 04:53 PM

Best. Story. EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!

Cmacker 5,303 10
01/20/2006 11:11 AM

I bumped this because a scene just occurred in my office that might be worth sharing.



In my office, everyone says what they're thinking and no one thinks before they speak. So you have to just let everything roll off your back or you'll never survive.



Our resident Jilly was having trouble so my boss went over to help her. She's about 55 though, and a mousy-looking, bitchy little thing. At one point she got frustrated and told my boss to "kiss(her)ass."



His reply: "I'm over here trying to help you, and you're telling me to kiss your ass....































...when it looks like your Frost-ing face??? Are you Frost-ing crazy???"



She locked herself in the bathroom and has been crying in there for a good ten or fifteen minutes. Sucks for me because I'm on my third cup of coffee.



But ahhh.... puuuuuure hilaaaaarity.

Darrin 21,346 0
01/20/2006 11:26 AM

Sweet!



Here's another one.



There is a really sensitive little bitch at my work named Scott. He's an easy target.



We had some pictures of an event we all had to attend printed out. Me and the shaved head white guy from the previous story drew on Scotts picture with a Sharpie.



We gave him really hairy legs, evil eyebrows, a goatee and horns. It looked like a JK2K drawing.



The little bitch found the picture on my desk and took it to HR! He told on us.



The HR Director called us in, and shut the door. She told us everything Scott said and how upset he was. Then we all laughed and laughed. The HR Director added a tail to Scott's picture.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
01/20/2006 11:45 AM

Sometimes I miss working in an office. All I could do here like that is draw on our wedding photo and I'm pretty sure I'd pay for that.

SHP : ALOG cofounder 181,795 70
01/20/2006 11:46 AM

We had a Jilly at the office where I used to work. Extremely dumb, overly sensitive, so on and so forth.



Me and my co-worker, Marty, were especially mean to her, and she was always crying over something. I was never the one to call her a stupid Carroll or anything, I just played pranks on her. Like the time I told her we had to wear safety goggles with the new copier so that the lasers didn't damage our corneas. The $3.00 glasses I'd picked up at the mini-mart that morning were "special laser filtering glasses" that would protect us.



I'm not the one that laid the pamphlets for "hiring the handicapped" or would page her using the local chaper of A.A. as a callback number. I'm not the big black guy who stood outside the laides restroom wearing a gorilla mask until she opened the door, and had her cowering in the corner when he growled.



Of course, I found these things to be terribly funny. However, it wasn't so Frost-ing funny when she brought my annual review points down because she'd complained that I'd made her cry when I asked.."When your mom dropped you on the head and your stopped breathing, did she finish the Young & Restless before she took you to the hospital?"

Darrin 21,346 0
01/20/2006 11:55 AM

My favorite time I made someone cry at work was for the most retarded reason.



She was a mousy, graphic artist that always worked silently. She was totally anal about her beverages. She would make iced tea in the kitchen and get obsessive about the ice and fullness of the glass.



She had just made herself the perfect glass of iced tea and left it on her desk. I went and got a Snicker's bar out of the machine and dropped it in her tea.



She walked up and saw it and got so upset. Everyone was laughing saying that it looked like a big turd.



She cried. I felt bad for a few minutes. Then we snapped a picture of the turd tea for preservation.

Erika - Chuck Norris's abandoned daughter 76,152 9
01/20/2006 11:56 AM

We have a woman in our office who must be a leftover of the Hitler Youth. She is terrified of black people. We work at a hospital in Philadelphia, and she is the FMLA rep, so she deals with a lot of them on a daily basis. She usually ends up hiding in the bathroom crying at least twice a week.



A few months ago, her boss was fired. A few days later, she ran out of her cubicle shrieking and crying hysterically that a black man had tried to attack her in her office. After we calmed her down, we found the culprit. It was Ben, her new boss, who had tried to introduce himself and shake her hand. He happens to be black, but is also about 4 feet tall and 100 pounds soaking wet. Once she learned who he was, she tried to play things off like it had been a joke, but that didn't work very well.



Surprisingly he didn't fire her, but now he makes a point to send all the Dequans to her for assistance.

Cmacker 5,303 10
01/20/2006 12:28 PM

When I worked for a mortgage company there was this black chic I never got along with. She was in her mid-twenties. One day she was blaring some kind of 50 Cent Shakespeare or something and it was driving me insane so I asked her nicely to either turn it down or put something else on. She ignored me so I turned it down myself and went into the breakroom to get some coffee. She came in yelling and screaming, threatening to kick my ass, closed the door and blocked it so I couldn't get out. Picture your stereo-typical sassy black woman with attitude. When we finally came out we were met by an audience and the Vice President who was fuming. She dragged us into the office and REAMED the both of us. I just kind of sat there and rolled my eyes. The black girl started bawling uncontrollably. When the VP asked us each for one good reason why she shouldn't fire us, she was crying so hard she couldn't even get any intelligible words out.



The next day I came to work and everyone asked if I happened to see the side of the building. Curious, I went outside to look and saw this painted on the wall:



"Cmacker is a Frost-ing hoe."



(And no, that's not a typo. Evidently she thought I was being a wicked garden tool that day.)



She was never fired though because no one actually saw her do it. Mortgage Company. Mid-twenties. Nice.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/20/2006 12:31 PM

There was this one time at this job I was working at a white person said or did something that could have been deemed offensive to a minority. Yeah, that was great, and the insuing behavior of the minority made the workplace uncomfortable of the white person.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/20/2006 12:33 PM

Hey Erika, I hope the black guy who was the boss in this story was the same as the black guy who was getting blown in the other story.

SHP : ALOG cofounder 181,795 70
01/20/2006 12:34 PM

BIG, your story makes no sense. Maybe if you added something about you being drunk, I'd understand it better.

Gorky T- not just FAG president, but also a client 41,132 13
01/20/2006 01:20 PM

I worked in a contruction office where one of the guys in AP was a borderline flamer. Everyone in the office knew he liked it in the pooper, but he did not share that info with other contractors that we worked with.



One day he was filing some invoices in the bank of cabinets opposite my desk. I was busy Frost-ing around on the internet and wasn't paying attention until one of our sub-contractors, Jim, arrived. Jim always had something funny, and often offensive to say, so I perked up and paged the guy, Chris, he was there to see.



Chris comes sauntering up to the front where Jim is telling some stupid blond joke and gay guy is filing when JIm blurts out, "Jesus Frost-ing Christ, Chris- your zippers down! What're you gonna do, start walkin' backwards and trawl for fags?"



Gay guy looked at Jim in shock, looked at Chris, who had busted out laughing, and then zipped off to the back.

Napkin 30,762 12
07/03/2007 03:29 AM

This one time, me and my buddies were getting ready for a Klan rally, and I had my robe on, and I went outside, but it had been raining and I slipped and fell on the mud. When I tried to get up, I slipped again and fell on my front. When I finally got on my feet, Jim, that wiseass, said "Haha, Napkin's got some Ogden Nash brown on his shirt!" And we all laughed.

Then we burned Jim alive, because nobody makes fun of the Grand Dragon Master. Nobody.