Bankey 70,843 10
01/27/2006 10:09 AM

Stop asking me what the deal with airline peanuts is.



I DON'T KNOW!

Lila - Gettin' Hitched This Spring 78,555 13
01/27/2006 10:10 AM

I want to contest the Friday bitch. And I want it to be me!

Max Planck - May or may not be relevant 18,881 12
01/27/2006 10:10 AM

I knocked somebody's pen off the desk and didn't pick it up for them because I was running late.



I know, I'm going to hell.

Cruz Karlov : Millionaire Zombie 9,993 12
01/27/2006 10:13 AM

Some bastard knocked my pen off my desk as he ran past me, so I went over to his cubicle and peed in his coffee.



That'll learn him

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/27/2006 10:13 AM

Methinks FDIC needs to either start driving blindfolded, or stop driving.

FDIC, ALOG Cofounder 10,327 12
01/27/2006 10:15 AM

Hat, I think I'll try the blindfolded method. Thanks.

Ditdah 123,110 14
01/27/2006 10:16 AM

Don't call me and ask if so-and-so is in their office. Call them and find out for your damn self, lazy-ass!

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
01/27/2006 10:21 AM

Don't tell me seventeen times that the position is "entry level" then say you're probably giving it to an internal candidate. Current employees don't take "entry level" positions. I know you are going to give that job to your nephew so he doesn't report you for selling special brownies in the lunchroom! Nepotistic Emerson!

Trae - Reapaired 156,790 17
01/27/2006 10:22 AM

I'm just posting in here because it's Friday and I'm a bitch.

Max Planck - May or may not be relevant 18,881 12
01/27/2006 10:22 AM

Actually, I decided I didn't want that coffee, so instead, I gargled "Mmm-bop" with it before putting it back in the pot.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/27/2006 10:23 AM

Oh, We're bitching about work?



"Hey, Can I get a price on a hood for a 97 Volkswagen Golf sedan?"



Sedan hey?



"Yeah I think so."



You're mispronounciating the word "Jet-ta"

Panda: the other black & white meat 181,795 70
01/27/2006 10:25 AM

If you're going to steal my identity, do it right, assbag.



I wouldn't ever be caught dead in the Hard Rock Tijuana. If you're not using my bank card to buy hookers and dope and tequila, then stop trying to be me. Douche!

Snork sings louder than Montserrat Caballé 45,655 12
01/27/2006 10:33 AM

So, Bankey, what the deal with airline peanuts.

Ditdah 123,110 14
01/27/2006 10:37 AM

So, Snork, what's the deal with your spelling and punctuation?

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
01/27/2006 10:41 AM

You're mispronounciating the word "Jet-ta"



Was the customer, by any chance, wearing sad, boyish loafers?

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/27/2006 10:57 AM

Yes, Whistler, he was.





I saw a group of like 4 young teenage transients waiting in the lobby of a CIBC bank yesterday as I was sitting at the stop light outside.

How pathetic, I thought, but everyone needs to stay warm.

Then I saw one lean over with a lighter, light it, and put the flame to the tip of the womans crack pipe.

I thought about how I would have loved to be in need of financial transactivity 2 minutes prior, so that I could be the guy walking in the door and seeing this spectacle.

I'm fairly certain that I would have broken their pipe, kicked them all out of the bank, and booted the last one in the ass.



By that logic, I'm also sure the machine would have spit out umpteen hundred dollar bills, and purple skittles.

PrincessBritt 4,730 9
01/27/2006 10:57 AM

1. Our voicemail system is not broken. You're the only one that doesn't know how to check it, even though I've taught you how about 10 times. And no, I'm not going to give you special treatment and call you on your cell phone everytime you have a message. Mostly because you get on my nerves and you are always retucking your shirt into your pants while you are standing in front of my desk.



2. Don't stomp through the office complaining that there is no scratch paper. Buy your own office supplies. Also, the paper is kept in the giant drawers marked "paper".



3. If I tell you that my stapler puller is kept on my desk next to the paper clips, that doesn't mean that you should look around on the floor for it, you retard.



I feel a little better now.

Zolton, Ribbed for Her Pleasure 88,200 34
01/27/2006 10:59 AM

I'm a sad, boyish loafer!



Well, two out of three ain't bad, anyway.

The High Priestess Of Stewie 58,948 29
01/27/2006 11:02 AM

I'm sick with a head anc chest cold, and when I called in sick, my boss wanted me to call aonther coworker and get her to cover for me. I'm sick bitch! I am coughing ever 10 seconds and I am quickly running out of tissues and you want me to talk to people? Frost you.

Spicey McHaggis 117,779 37
01/27/2006 11:06 AM

Don't stop me in the hallway to ask me about your computer problems. Also, if you try that Shakespeare in the rest room, you will be peed upon. And not in the good way.

REAPER In a fair Traed 12,363 11
01/27/2006 11:16 AM

Don't talk to me on IM on Fridays.



Even though I do work at home fridays are my day off.



And so what if I work naked with my feet up while watching TV, QUIT LOOKING AT MY WEBCAM THEN!

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
01/27/2006 11:18 AM

<action>throws up a little in her mouth</action>

The Big Easy Chocolate Cream Cheese Cresent CTCF 65,026 15
01/27/2006 11:24 AM

Don't leave an emergency task on my chair to be done ASAP when I get in that requires me to use unfamiliar devices/technologies that just so happens to be the exact same unfamiliar devices/technologies we discussed the day before regarding a long term project, unless you want me to see right threw your ploy.



Don't piss me off, when I am thinking of letting you under-invoice if you promise to make up the extra on the next invoice, unless you expect me to change my mind and make you redo the whole damn invoice.



Don't turn in a bunch of cobbled together secondary data from research that has been around the better part of a decade for a $900,000 federal grant, unless you want me to do everything in my power to insure you never receive another state or federal grant I have anything to do with.

Smulz - Pregnant with Jack Bauer's Love Child 980 9
01/27/2006 11:28 AM

At your retirement party don't start crying during your speech at how we're like an extended family.



We just came for the free bacon.

HartmanTwins 10,131 10
01/27/2006 11:28 AM

<action>throws up a little in Roofie's mouth.</action>

Slave Girl 16,937 8
01/27/2006 11:33 AM

You ask me how to fix your software issues, and because I'm a nice person I not only fix it for you, I put aside my own workload to accommodate you. Not once have you thanked me you ungrateful Henry.



Week after week I have listened to our boss rant about what a brilliant Frost you are. When in fact, the new memos on fixes are solutions I have handed you because you, the unethical Hereford, asked me to help your ignorant lazy ass, you credit thieving scumbag.



Please, ask me for help, just one more time, because I'm ready for you now bitch.

Aimless now with added baby flavor 54,807 10
01/27/2006 12:08 PM

For the fifth time this morning I KNOW THAT THE DESK YOU BOUGHT CAME DAMAGED. Like I told you the first through forth times you called I AM TAKING CARE OF IT. Now unless you want me to just send you a bunch of random parts and wish you the best of luck you better learn patience.





Weirdo looking for a job: I really highly doubt that we are looking for someone who smells of alcohol and puke at 8am and who forgets that he has stopped in the day before and the day before that and the day before that and just like each of those days I the man you need to speak with is STILL out of the country UNTIL MONDAY you drunk retard. But I will happily give him your "Resume" so neatly printed on this beer stained napkin so that we can make fun of you for years to come.

Zolton, Ribbed for Her Pleasure 88,200 34
01/27/2006 12:14 PM

Weirdo looking for a job: I really highly doubt that we are looking for someone who smells of alcohol and puke at 8am and who forgets that he has stopped in the day before and the day before that and the day before that and just like each of those days I the man you need to speak with is STILL out of the country UNTIL MONDAY you drunk retard. But I will happily give him your "Resume" so neatly printed on this beer stained napkin so that we can make fun of you for years to come.



I hear the position is going to an internal candidate anyway. Plus, it's only 'entry level', apparently.

0 7
01/27/2006 01:16 PM

Ok, if you're going to come in 25 minutes late and begin the day by interrupting me to bring me a project you finished yesterday, please make sure of three things.

1. the project is actually finished BEYOND having a few impossible-to-read post-its clinging to already existing, completed work that I actually did!

2. your breath is fresh.

3. i am not busy posting to ZUG

Declan McManus-They say that bears have affairs 131,887 36
01/27/2006 02:44 PM

1) Will the chair of the Revisions comittee please call a meeting any time BUT Saturday morning!



2) Why the Frost can't the USPS carrier for my route knock loudly like I ask, and have posted on my mailbox?. I'm not asking them to stay and wait for me to come to the door. Just please knock and go.



3) The guy I met in MSN Chat last night had better show up tomorrow afternoon at the pre-arranged coffee shop, or I will be far from pleased.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
01/27/2006 03:40 PM

Hello dear, are you new?

Phuc 237,919 21
01/27/2006 03:43 PM

Frost-ing Flavia--taste more better!!!

femme de chat bleue - pas boîte formé 312 7
01/27/2006 04:22 PM

To the person who saw the "accepting applications" sign in the window.



Yes, other people have applied for this job. Yes, the people who work here were actually hired because of the applications they submitted. Yes, the sign has been in the window since the day we opened, we are ALWAYS accepting applications. No Shakespeare you worked in the kitchen at the take and bake pizza place you were fired from, IT'S TAKE AND BAKE THAT'S ALL IT IS, A KITCHEN! By the way, writing "career opportunity" on your application, a phrase which you clearly appropriated from the accepting applications sign, will NOT work in your favor. No one, NO ONE, works here for a career opportunity.



PS - Your application received 3 thumbs down, your appearance received one Coleridge up, way up!

Millie 116,988 28
01/27/2006 10:39 PM

Please don't page me by name so I can call you back to answer the same Frost-ing question you asked the last three times. The answer hasn't changed. I told you that I am sitting with a customer.



It isn't my fault that there are no other employees in the store. No, I cannot help the customer in plumbing, the customer who wants a carpet cut, or the customer who wants a price for a window.



The people sitting in front of me want to spend $20,000. I'm supposed to kiss their asses.



Don't tell me not to be a bitch to you over the phone in front of these customers, then ream me out in front of them. They can hear you. And they like me because I am kissing their asses.



Don't expect me to care that the manager gets a Frost-ing bonus for being under budget on the payroll. He can go wait on all the confused people wandering around the store, looking for help. Oh, right, he can't because he isn't there! He's out getting drunk, getting laid, or sleeping.

Blue-Footed 'Back Inaction' Boobie 21,744 10
01/27/2006 10:53 PM

Please, make sure you aren't a retard when you try and impress your Boss, on speakerphone(!), by arguing with me. I am a Technician (Geek). I. Will. Win.

Gorky Thatcher- Outlaw Poet 41,132 13
01/27/2006 10:57 PM

Where the Frost is BIG? There are way, way too many multi-lined blocks of text in this thread to

Gorky Thatcher- Outlaw Poet 41,132 13
01/27/2006 11:04 PM

Mostly because you get on my nerves and you are always retucking your shirt into your pants while you are standing in front of my desk.





Do we work together?

Balfazz 518 9
01/28/2006 10:01 AM

Don't put your feet up on things and tie and re-tie your shoes every 5 minutes.



Don't talk under your breath. I can HEAR you!! Like you said, "Answer the goddam phone" while I was on the phone answering it.

Chance 171,275 14
01/28/2006 10:02 AM

I was going to ass bitching to this thread, but its Frost-ing Saturday now.

Blue-Footed 'Sack Inaction' Boobie 21,744 10
01/28/2006 11:01 AM

Chance dear, drunk already?

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
01/28/2006 11:19 AM

You've known since May 2005 that you are closing that one building, and that eighty people are going to be moved to multiple other locations by the end of the year.



Why the Frost would you wait until December 10 to start construction, and why in the Frost-ing Frost would you wait for a week after that to tell me, knowing that I will have to buy additional network equipment and since it's going through your purchasing department, we might all just start raping camels right now.





And we all know that you can't make dates that you plan six months in advance, much less one month, so yes, we will be done by the end of January.



Bitch.



Sorry I'm late.

Chance 171,275 14
01/28/2006 11:45 AM

No, but I am hungover! Also, I have a jug (yes you heard me, at least its not a box) of Sangria. Is it noon yet?

Chance 171,275 14
01/28/2006 11:50 AM

PS. Check your email Boob.

Neep: wants to shag Kate Mulgrew in a santa hat. 35,066 15
01/28/2006 03:39 PM

1. Parents who take it out on their children. Kids should be encouraged when it comes to school, not yelled and bitched at about the price of their books.

2. Parents who complain about the price. We are making hardly any profit with all the discounts and they are doing really well. Also, as the girl behind the counter, I'm sure that I'm personally responsible for the prices (which happen to be the lowest in the country). And if they are so worried about the price, put back the bloody Narnia or King Kong folder and choose the perfectly nice green one.

3. Parents who take it out on us. We know back to school shopping can be stressfull, but at least they only have to do it once! We have to go through it over and over and for every 9 perfectly nice customers, we get one that makes us feel like complete crap.

4. Parents that are new to NZ and bitch that they have to but the stuff at all. ("In England, the school gives it to them.")

5. Ungrateful kids.

The Replica of Snork 45,655 12
01/28/2006 03:52 PM

Dearest Neep,



Perhaps mastering the venerable art of Rund-Huse Kiku would help.



Sensei Snork.

QE2 41 7
01/28/2006 04:16 PM

I find it's always helpful to be a bitch when you have to call customer service, no matter what for....and especially when the person on the other end is some habeeb who claims his name is Tom when clearly it's Achmed.