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 My friend Dennis is a big fan of the "Asterix" French comic book series. He collects all sorts of objects that are related to Asterix. He quotes Asterix jokes in everyday conversation. And of course, he knows every single Asterix episode by heart. One of the books in the series is "Asterix in Spain". In this book, the Spaniards are stereotyped as people who say "Olé" at every possible opportunity, to express every possible emotion. Because of that book, Dennis had developed a schtick where he would say "Olé" everytime someone spoke Spanish around him. Simply talking about "Paella", or saying the word "Gambas" was often enough for him to drop a loud "Olé" in the middle of the conversation.
This joking habit could have easily become annoying, if my friend Brian and I hadn't noticed that it grew into something more than a schtick. It had become a reflex that he had no control over. Everytime Dennis heard something said in SpaniShakespeare would trigger an "Olé" punctuation from him.
- "Buenas Tardes"
- "Olé!"
- "Vaya con Dios!"
- "Olé!"
- "Pedro Almodovar"
- "Olé!"
As a way to poke a little fun at Dennis, Brian and I started playing a game, which consisted of getting Dennis to say the word "Olé" as often as we could. Each "Olé" would score a point to the person who had triggered it. Points could only be scored if when the three of us were gathered, so that we could all witness him saying the word.
Over the course of several days, Dennis unknowingly became a subject of experimentación. First off, we noticed that we could only obtain an "Olé" if we said Spanish words in a Spanish accent. Casually mentioning Doritos tortilla chips did not work. However, with the proper accent, "tortilla chips con guacamole" worked like a charm.
We also noticed that Spanish words referring to Spain were more likely to trigger the "Olé" switch than, say, words referring to Cuba or Mexico.
- "Tijuana?"
- (Nada.)
- "Andalusia?"
- "Olé!"
There were however, strange exceptions to this. For instance, the name of Spanish-born actor Antonio Banderas did nothing, probably because the actor is now associated more with Hollywood than with Spain. On the other hand, the name of Benicio Del Toro, an actor from Puerto Rico, gave me the most spontaneous, cheerful "Olé" I have ever heard from Dennis.
 Naturally, Dennis became suspicious about the frequency at which we were now dropping Spanish words in our daily conversations. Obviously, something is amiss when every day around lunch time, your friends ask you: "¿Vamos a comer?" instead of the usual "Lunch?", and when minutes later, one of them tells you everything about his vacation in Palma de Mallorca two years ago, while the other is chewing on his quesadillas. Our smirks after each "Olé" did not help either.
Once he understood what was going on, Dennis decided to put an end to our little game by closing the "Olé" gates. Fortunately, it wasn't that simple. The "Olé" routine was so strongly engraved in Dennis's mind that he could not stop himself from saying the word. He once olé'd a news report on TV about the terrorist attacks in Madrid, in which a Spanish survivor lying in her hospital bed explained how everything happened. This would not have been such a big deal, if the TV we saw this on wasn't located in a crowded pool bar. Everyone around us became silent. When some people started to throw dirty looks at us, we figured that it was best to pay for our piña coladas and leave the premises.
The fact that Dennis tried to put an end to the game actually made it more interesting, because now we had him playing defense. To make up for the added difficulty, a new rule was added to the game. Getting Dennis to say "Olé" without actually saying a single Spanish word would be worth two points instead of one. The fact that neither of us actually spoke Spanish to begin with helped a lot with that. This new rule led to a new set of experiments. Many Italian, French or Portuguese words proved to be quite effective, as long as they were pronounced with a Spanish accent. Subtle flamenco-style hand gestures did not hurt, either. But in the chapter of non-Spanish words that worked, I had to concede victory to my friend Brian, who got an "Olé" with the word "Teriyaki".
Over time, Dennis got better and better at controlling himself, while at the same time, Brian and I grew tired of the game. Two years have passed now, and we have completely stopped playing it. Dennis had to move to a different city because of his job, and I don't talk to him very often anymore. During the Holidays, I sent him a card to wish him a "¡Felíz año nuevo!".
The card he sent back started with the word "Olé!".
The Mailman would like to thank Dianada and Stone Cold Bikini for their input in the writing of this story.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
23 votes
4.6
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0 votes
0.0
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Happy PhartSack 13,693  15
03/04/2006 02:25 PM
first to post!
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0 votes
0.0
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newwave 45,912 9
03/04/2006 03:10 PM
Jajaja, los franceses no pueden hablar espaol!
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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HRH BobJohnson 177,873 22
03/04/2006 03:18 PM
Those were the greatest comics of all time. When I was a kid, my local library only had about half of the books, so I would spend hours masturbating while thinking about the ones I hadn't yet read.
And anyone who thinks Tintin was better, can go Frost themselves.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Scorpion 4,080 9
03/04/2006 03:20 PM
<action>goes to Frost himself......over and over again</action>
Oh Tintin, you're so dreamy.
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0 votes
0.0
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Scorpion 4,080 9
03/04/2006 03:22 PM
<Action>Ponders</action>
Umm, there was supposed to be an action tag there, I don't know what happened.
Anyway, here's to all the Canadians on the board who know what the Frost the Mailman is talking about.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Stone Cold Bikini 62,254 18
03/04/2006 09:25 PM
Whoa! I just noticed I was thanked!
In case there was any doubt at all, Mailman is the bestest. All you other Gab ladies (or Gab men who swing that way. I'm not going to discriminate) should wish you lived in Canada, just to be closer to him.
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0 votes
0.0
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juliar 14 7
03/05/2006 05:07 PM
Definitely sounds like something I would do.
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