HP of Resurrection, Only the freshest Zombie Jesus 58,948 29
03/30/2006 09:06 AM

Are those gills?

Phuc of the Ascension 237,919 21
03/30/2006 09:06 AM

The new "Follow the Oprah" ride at Six Flags garnered mixed reviews.

Mrs.JM and her basket of goodies 24,693 8
03/30/2006 09:07 AM

Clay Aiken and his "friend" enjoy a day at the newest additon to the Six Flags Thrill rides , "The Flesh Mangler".

Fratberry 283,018 53
03/30/2006 09:07 AM

"Look at that blubber fly!!!!"

Mrs.JM and her basket of goodies 24,693 8
03/30/2006 09:08 AM

Phuc I know there's plenty of room in here ...but get outta my brain!

ieatpeople 92 7
03/30/2006 09:09 AM

New ride, "Entering Oprah's Vagina".

Fratberry 283,018 53
03/30/2006 09:10 AM

Don't you hate it when somebody in the ride ahead of you floats an air biscuit?

Spicey McHaggis 117,779 37
03/30/2006 09:41 AM

M'Hglak bravely faced his first time travelling in one of Earth's many mass transportation devices. His partner J'lagh, however, pissed himself.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
03/30/2006 09:46 AM

"Fap fap fap fap"

Fratberry 283,018 53
03/30/2006 09:51 AM

"Tiny didn't know it yet but he was about to be smothered to death by his own doobs."

Chocolate Panda: Eat my tail first 181,795 70
03/30/2006 09:56 AM

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

Chit 178,781 15
03/30/2006 10:01 AM

That afternoon, it became instantly clear who had smuggled on the two missing pork chops from lunch, and where they were hiding them.

Vlad The Impaler (Purveyor of aMurder.com) 19,599 12
03/30/2006 10:19 AM

Bob the Cannibal aka the Captain Mandable is seen here in his native habitat preparing to swallow a ride full of passengers whole.

It's That Guy 1,893 7
03/30/2006 10:43 AM

Mr. Jackson's latest facial modifications lasted all of a day when he took his son to the newest theme park. Aspiring entrepeneurs could be found below the ride for the next hour, picking up pieces of the pop star's former face, only to sell them that night on Ebay.

Captain Dan, Wüstenfuchs 44,452 11
03/30/2006 10:54 AM

"Oh no! The skin in my face mask disintegrates after 99 minutes!"

Chris Gorke 41,132 13
03/30/2006 11:19 AM

Willy was the first person the park allowed on any ride without the safety bar clicking even once.

HC: Queen of Trek 16,937 8
03/30/2006 11:47 AM

In a quest to find his girlfriend's kinfolk, Kake searched the hills of Shar-Pei country. Luckily Kake's uberdetective skills came in handy as he located Dr.Girlfriend's Pa and her bruncle. He gave her back.

Pram Maven 80,728 42
03/30/2006 03:45 PM

Frankie Muniz and his mafia-sponsored bodyguard/agent "go for a little ride" to discuss how much of his paycheck he plans to "donate" to the "cause". If this doesn't work, there's always the Marygopuke.

Xbwalker 10 7
03/30/2006 03:59 PM

The poor guy got lipo and now he has a little excess skin. Needless to say, his son isn't pleased with the result.

oddzodd 382 7
03/30/2006 04:50 PM

Theo and Abigail celebrate their successful gender reassignment procedures with park passes courtesy of Dr. Snippet.

oddzodd 382 7
03/30/2006 10:32 PM

Cant be! ..........thats not Jerry Springer in the second row is it?!?!?

Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
03/30/2006 11:02 PM

And in other news, NASA has announced the need for further spending cutbacks for training purposes.

"Also due to dire financial situations, we have found the need to select astronaut recruits from the general amusement-park population," one spokesperson said. "Hey, if the Russians shot monkeys into outer space, why shouldn't we use tourists?"

It was also noted that the big air-filled trampoline "Space Walk" thingy could be used as an accurate simulation of lunar surface travel. "It's close enough," the spokesperson shrugged.

Pictured here are Hugh Jass and Ivana Tinkel riding the "G-Force Simulator" along with twenty seven other new recruits.

HC: Queen of Trek 16,937 8
03/30/2006 11:05 PM

Hello Sage, are you new dear?

Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
03/31/2006 12:04 AM

I surely am, HC, thanks for noticing! :) I actually can't remember how I linked over here, but I think most of the stuff is pretty funny. The phone pranks are what piqued my interest at first, then I perused the rest of the site and thought, "hey, since I've run out of oxycontin, my life has become bleak and meaningless." What that has to do with me and this website, I don't yet know. I think that it will all become clear once again -- probably soon after I take my next dose of oxy....

Señor Poopypants 411 7
03/31/2006 12:04 AM

"Slow Down!!!"

HC: Queen of Trek 16,937 8
03/31/2006 12:08 AM

You have two things going for you:

1. Sage

2. Seattle



That, and for some inexplicable reason, I feel compelled to like you.

Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
03/31/2006 12:25 AM

(excerpt)



Guiness Book of World Records:



Hugh Jass, pictured at left, is the only known human to have belched, farted, laughed, and sneezed simultaneously. It was, in fact, as painful as it looks.

"I sure don't want to ever do that again," he is quoted as saying. There was some difficulty in sewing his a**hole back inside his body but the doctors

(continued next page.)

Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
03/31/2006 12:38 AM

I think, HC, that you are compelled to find me sensual and mysterious, too.



But I could be wrong.



Speaking of Harvard, I once submitted an application to attend school there. The dean of students called me and said that, according to my SAT scores, I could take classes there but I had to ride on the short bus. He laughed an awful lot and thought that I was a real 'special' student too. Boy, he sure was a friendly guy! It really reminded me of the time when I finally graduated from the sixth grade. I was so excited, I could hardly shave without cutting myself! Anyway, I finally got my degree in the mail from "Harverd Colledge" and I proudly display it on my wall (the non-padded one).

Marrob 22 7
03/31/2006 12:33 PM

Chill out, the ride hasn't even started yet...

Larry Moeshemp 22,222 17
03/31/2006 01:23 PM

Big Frankie Matteo and Tony "The Toothpick" De Angelo out on their first openly gay date.

Pram Maven 80,728 42
03/31/2006 03:02 PM

Oh, hey! It's the new Rubberface Ride! I'm surprised that Jim Carrey wasn't all over this.

Southside Matty 192 8
03/31/2006 10:15 PM

The marketing gurus at Subway show how Jared can fit in a roller coaster seat after he has lost almost 300lbs eating Subway sandwiches. Too bad their sandwiches don't help shrink skin after excessive weight loss.

BiteMySlice 378 7
03/31/2006 10:24 PM

Ha, that one guys fat

annabel 10 7
04/01/2006 01:14 AM

*** ** *****,what's that?

Sakon 595 9
04/01/2006 04:15 AM

"Joe was told that this ride would make him lose his lunch, so he gripped his lunch box with all of his might."

LordJohnWhorfin 11 7
04/01/2006 04:47 AM

Howard Rollins and Frankie Muniz begin their new life together by riding the Magnum XL at Ceder Point, Ohio.

Pram Maven 80,728 42
04/01/2006 10:34 AM

my grandpa crashed his car into that ride. (not pictured, thank Christ)

erickthered 20 7
04/01/2006 01:05 PM

Charlie,(shown on the right)wets himself after realizing that his grandfather's life partner, the "Ronald Regan blow-up doll" has sprung a leak.

Burnt Pastry 0 0
04/01/2006 03:43 PM

That fat looks like a parachute. I wonder why the man hasn't flown ass-first into the people behind him.

Pram Maven 80,728 42
04/01/2006 05:03 PM

because his belt is all tangled up in the fat. Chute won't open.

Fake colorful Easter basket Straw 98,000 37
04/01/2006 05:06 PM

Is that Greg Proops in the next seat back?

Pram Maven 80,728 42
04/01/2006 05:44 PM

No, that's his hot sister.

Dave IS the man 12 7
04/02/2006 03:53 PM

Frankie was begining to think that the super speed face lift was not such a good idea....

shukenjive 0 7
04/04/2006 12:58 AM

...and after the visit from the Mexican Catering Delegation, kids, the new rollercoaster was forever known as "Montezuma's Revenge"...

Thatguyfromfrance 170 7
04/04/2006 04:35 AM

the new six flags ride Constipation-o-tron2 - the revenge- , the parks latest flagship attraction has brought rave reviews.



Lack of return customers has been baffling, with the exception of many french tourists, often spending hours on the ride.



Park management remains puzzled, although cautiously optimistic.

Pram Maven 80,728 42
04/04/2006 05:25 AM

"The opening sequence from House on Haunted Hill gets re-made to appeal to fat people"