Peter Cockintail 156,790 17
04/14/2006 10:39 AM

I could've told you that days 15-19 are the prime targets. I got pregnant on day 16....12 years ago.

Love Nub 1,064 13
04/14/2006 10:49 AM

Good lord Trae, that's one longass pregnancy - your kid's learnin algebra in utero.

Snork: Defender Of Easter World. 45,655 12
04/14/2006 10:49 AM

So...Spicey is shooting blanks?

UnderEgg 101,398 77
04/14/2006 10:52 AM

Yeah, Trae, I know. I usually ovulate on day 16, but my temperatures have never looked like this - going straight up, a tenth of a degree every morning. I don't think I've ovulated yet, and that the charting program is lying.

Peter Cockintail 156,790 17
04/14/2006 10:59 AM

Wookin pa Nub, she actually came out on time...she's an evil preteen now.

lupience- hider of small chocolate eggs since 1983 26,981 11
04/14/2006 11:12 AM

You know you're ovulating when you walk around sticking your butt in the air saying "Prrrrr" all the time.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
04/14/2006 11:20 AM

I can impregnate any woman on Earth in 30 minutes.



Come to Nutbutter.

Spring Lila - Still Gettin' Hitched in 8 days! 78,555 13
04/14/2006 11:23 AM

UnderEgg

4/14/2006 10:36 am



What do you think?



What do I think?



Weeelllll,



HC's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,

She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,

She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch,

She's a bitch to all the boys and girls.



On Monday she's a bitch

On Tuesday she's a bitch

On Wednesday thru Saturday she's a bitch

Then on Sunday just to be different,

Shes u super king kamehameha beeyotch!!



Have you ever met Gab's one and only Carroll,

She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,

She's a mean old bitch, she has stupid hair,

She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

Bitch, bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.

She's a stupid bitch, HC is a bitch,

And she's such a dirty bitch!!

UnderEgg 101,398 77
04/14/2006 11:26 AM

Lila, that's not very nice. I want to entice HC to answer my question, not leave because she's getting slammed.



Speaking of getting slammed, don't be fooled by Nutbutter. At his age, 30 minutes means 30 seconds followed by a 29-and-a-half minute pee.

Spring Lila - Still Gettin' Hitched in 8 days! 78,555 13
04/14/2006 11:28 AM

Actually, Hols, THIS isn't very nice. And I never would have posted my platinum little ditty had she not have created that thread.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
04/14/2006 11:30 AM

Speaking of getting slammed, don't be fooled by Nutbutter. At his age, 30 minutes means 30 seconds followed by a 29-and-a-half minute pee.



Wrong.



10 minutes of begging, 30 seconds of ecstasy and 19 1/2 minutes of crying.



All of it mine.

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
04/14/2006 11:31 AM

Five.

UnderEgg 101,398 77
04/14/2006 12:50 PM

Chris, you forgot to put your bid in bold.

Chit 178,781 15
04/14/2006 01:04 PM

See, isn't it ironic.



If you weren't already married, you would probably be Frost-ing every day anyway.

HC: Queen of Caffeine 16,937 8
04/14/2006 01:30 PM

What do you think?



Many, many things:



1. Spicey is The Stud of 2006



2. Spicey has ejaculated approximately 4,160,000,000 sperm into your baby chute in 14 days.



3. Seriously, that's enough sperm to repopulate Europe, Asia, North and South America and several tropical islands.



4. Does Spicey have a brother?



5. I'm not entirely convinced that you've ovulated.

A. Days 15 & 16 have EWCM, which would be unusual after O because of the increase of progesterone and subsequent decrease of estrogen in the luteal phase.

B. You normally ovulate a little later than Day 14.

C. If you're not getting any CM today, then it's likely that you're O'ing today or last night.

D. Have you tried chocolate meringue puffs? They're delicious!



6. I think Lila's right and so kind to notice, I am a bitch. But I'm a good bitch, not a bad bitch like my sister. And as much as we joke and kid about upcoming events, I like Lila.



7. If Spicey's little Seamen can woo your egg, I'll be Auntie HC the first week of Jan 2007 !!!



8. I need coffee!1!1!!! You woke me up for this!

Darrin dyed with Paas 21,346 0
04/14/2006 01:32 PM

<action>starts planning her Lila and HC threesome</action>



I knew you liked Lila.

Spring Lila - Still Gettin' Hitched in 8 days! 78,555 13
04/14/2006 01:43 PM

The weird thing is - I like her too.

I feel yet another Gab lesbo threeway coming on today...

Fake colorful Easter basket Straw 98,000 37
04/14/2006 01:44 PM

Wookin pa Nub



Trae, could I possibly love you more in this moment?

Live Chickens in your pants 286,539 61
04/14/2006 01:47 PM

Good lord. Now they're BREEDING?!!!

Spring Lila - Still Gettin' Hitched in 8 days! 78,555 13
04/14/2006 01:51 PM

No, silly Chickens. Women can't breed because we don't ejaculate!

Darrin dyed with Paas 21,346 0
04/14/2006 01:52 PM

I do.

Spring Lila - Still Gettin' Hitched in 8 days! 78,555 13
04/14/2006 01:55 PM

Figures.

UnderEgg 101,398 77
04/14/2006 01:56 PM

1. Well, yeah, and not just because he's reading this over my shoulder as I type. I agree because if I haven't ovulated yet, he's going to have to get on me again this afternoon.



2. That's not counting the stuff he shot onto my tits earlier this month. Awesome.



3. Yes, but I'm not going to have any brown babies.



4. No.



5. I really don't think I've ovulated either. I'm glad you agree with me.



6. I <3 Lila.



7. Damn it. I wanted little baby tax break. Plus, that's right around my daughter's birthday.



8. I don't drink caffeine in the morning myself. I get woken up in another way. (See chart.)

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
04/14/2006 02:24 PM

That's not counting the stuff he shot onto my tits earlier this month.



Well, there's your problem. You're never going to get pregnant that way.

Mofo the Merciful 10,950 10
04/14/2006 02:29 PM

You have to get a love sling and do the nasty suspended in air upside down if you want results. Graphs are for idiots.

HC: Queen of Caffeine 16,937 8
04/14/2006 02:37 PM

<action>shows Darrin and Lila the new game that just came in the mail...Sister Twister.</action>Unders, I was wondering if you had an HSG and TSH tested in your first go round years ago?

HC: Queen of Caffeine 16,937 8
04/14/2006 02:47 PM

I don't particularly desire a flogging for acronyms at the moment,

so this one's for the FF impaired:



HSG: Hysterosalpingogram

TSH: Thyroid Stimulating Hormone



OMG WTF1!11!!! OMG

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
04/14/2006 02:55 PM

Well clearly that's what they stood for. Who doesn't know what a hysta hystira

hysterose HSG is.

UnderEgg 101,398 77
04/14/2006 03:09 PM

Spicey wants me to point out that "XX" stands for having sex twice in one day.



Also, I have to say that my chart is inaccurate. Today's column needs to be changed to include an "XX."

UnderEgg 101,398 77
04/14/2006 03:12 PM

And Chicka, no, I didn't have either of those. My ex had an SA, and that identified the problem right away.

Spring Lila - Still Gettin' Hitched in 8 days! 78,555 13
04/14/2006 03:31 PM

Jeez, with all the sex references Spicey's giving us the impression that he's only had sex for the first time like a year ago!

Chit 178,781 15
04/14/2006 03:51 PM

I just want to state that all this plotting and graphing is kind of creepy for a guy to see.





Can't you gals do it all behind our backs like usual.

HC: Queen of Caffeine 16,937 8
04/14/2006 03:56 PM

As you wish...



Chit's little boy walks into his parents' room to see his Mom on top of his daddy bouncing up and down. The Mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his Mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"

The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."

"You're wasting your time," said the boy.

"Why is that?" asked his Mom, puzzled.

"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

Love Nub 1,064 13
04/14/2006 03:59 PM

Spicey wants me to point out that "XX" stands for having sex twice in one day.



I thought that was moonshine.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
04/14/2006 04:20 PM

XX IS FOR XTRA LOVIN', mother-FrostERS!

HC: Queen of Caffeine 16,937 8
04/14/2006 04:55 PM

Spicey wants me to point out that "XX" stands for having sex twice in one day.



Yeah, well if you have to chew before you swallow...he has a high sperm count.

Take a Chance if you want to! 171,275 14
04/14/2006 04:57 PM

XX IS FOR XTRA LOVIN', mother-FrostERS!



So you cant get Xxara out of your head either huh.

Darrin dyed with Paas 21,346 0
04/14/2006 05:28 PM

<action>shivers</action>

UnderEgg 101,398 77
04/16/2006 10:07 AM

Now what?

Zombie Jesus' Nub 1,064 13
04/16/2006 10:42 AM

Sell, sell sell!!!!

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
04/16/2006 10:50 AM

You ever have one of those dreams that you can't remember if you actually dreamed it or if you just dreamed that you dreamed it?



I'm like that now. I seem to recall having a dream last night with Holly in it, naked.



And she was pregnant.





And I am not making this Shakespeare up. You can tell it's not like my other posts because it's not funny...well, you'll just have to take my word for it.

lupience is a REAL mother 26,981 11
04/16/2006 10:51 AM

Don't let him pee in your butt. You cannot get pregnant that way. I've tried.

UnderEgg 101,398 77
04/16/2006 12:03 PM

Dogs, did you take pictures? Because really, your post is useless...hey, was I a sexy pregnant chick, or a gross, nasty fatass?

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
04/16/2006 12:25 PM

Well, if things don't work out with the chart, we could always call on Chuck to come in and round-house kick you pregnant.



Just a thought.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
04/16/2006 11:20 PM

hey, was I a sexy pregnant chick



Definitely this one.

HC: Queen of Caffeine 16,937 8
04/16/2006 11:21 PM

Undies, stay off caffeine and booze for a bit. I know, I know, it's so hard! But so was Spicey when he was firing his baby batter into your baby chute.



And as far as your chart goes, you've probably ovulated. I'd need to see your other charts to be more certain though. "When" is really a mystery, but probably between CD 15&16 because of the EWCM.



Is your coverline usually below 98 degrees????

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
04/16/2006 11:31 PM

Holy Shakespeare! I just realized that this thread IS about sex.

HC: Queen of Caffeine 16,937 8
04/16/2006 11:40 PM

And what's up with a 9 day luteal phase?! Is that how long they usually are??? Cuz if that's the case, you sure as Shakespeare are gonna have a hard time getting an embie to stick and hold, it's got to be at least 10 days long, just like my drunk benders.

Chit 178,781 15
04/16/2006 11:50 PM

Holy Shakespeare! I just realized that this thread IS about sex.







Yea, but not the right kind of sex.





It's about "getting a break on next years income taxes" sex.



Not "she had enough shots of Jagermeister to pin her panties on the ceiling at the bar" sex.

Spring Lila - Still Gettin' Hitched in One Week! 78,555 13
04/17/2006 12:33 AM

Jeez, Hols, haven't you two been married like 48 hours?! Chill awhile as a married couple before you pop one out. Most of my married friends would support me on that statement as a good number of them got preggers within 6 months of marriage.

newwave 45,912 10
04/17/2006 02:00 AM

I got pregnant three months after I turned 16 and regretted it ever since.



Especially around my 17th birthday.

UnderEgg 101,398 77
04/17/2006 07:18 AM

HC - Yes, my coverlines are usually low. I'm hardly ever above 98 degrees. 97.7 is a normal high, post-O temp for me. My LP varies - usually 10-12 days though. Last month I had bronchitis and was on lots of drugs, so my cycle was messed up. Spicey didn't care though, he still wanted to try. He was like - roll over, just don't cough on me.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
04/17/2006 07:35 AM

Jeez, Hols, haven't you two been married like 48 hours?! Chill awhile as a married couple before you pop one out.



Lila, a woman's place is in the home. As a republican, it's my wifely duty to put out and get knocked up. And - you're a republican too, right?



One of us! One of us!

Mrs.JM and her basket of goodies 24,693 8
04/17/2006 08:51 AM

Actually, Hols, THIS isn't very nice. And I never would have posted my platinum little ditty had she not have created that thread.



Hey Lila- I think that HC had a couple of "funny" married jokes, and since you're getting married, she just plugged in your name, not knowing your unending wrath.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
04/17/2006 10:02 AM

HC - Yes, my coverlines are usually low. I'm hardly ever above 98 degrees. 97.7 is a normal high, post-O temp for me. My LP varies - usually 10-12 days though.



Between all the sexy talk like that and my dreams of you naked and pregnant, I'm starting to chafe.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
04/17/2006 09:49 PM

My temp was back up to 97.7 this morning. That could make yesterday's drop an implantation dip - or maybe that's just wishful thinking?



Also - I cried at work today. The person who is signed up to be my "secret pal" told me that she no longer wants to buy me gifts because I'm ungrateful. Then she asked if I was a Christian and said that she'd pray for me to be more appreciative of the things I am given.



Normally this wouldn't bother me, since the only two presents I've gotten are a tin full of peanuts and a bunny pen that blows bubbles. So she DOES suck as a secret pal. However, this afternoon I cried for a half hour on the drive home, and I'm almost crying now and I'm thinking about maybe sending her flowers tomorrow because I hurt her feelings.

Chit 178,781 15
04/17/2006 09:59 PM

Better still Holly, tomorrow just tell her you are going to pray for her to get some flowers because her feelings got hurt.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
04/17/2006 10:33 PM

an implantation dip



Ah, yes, the tango.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
04/18/2006 07:15 AM

Today's temp changed my ovulation date.

HC: Queen of Caffeine 16,937 8
04/18/2006 11:32 AM

<action>loves when it comes together.</action>And as far as your chart goes, you've probably ovulated. I'd need to see your other charts to be more certain though. "When" is really a mystery, but probably between CD 15&16 because of the EWCM.



I was right!!! Woo Hoo!!!



And Spicey's done an outstanding job of delivering the jiz.



Now my next "thought of the day"...



Holly, the temps on your chart are uber low which makes me wonder if hypothyroidism might be an issue.



Love and Kisses,

(soon to be)Auntie HC

lupience is a REAL mother 26,981 11
04/18/2006 11:41 AM

Dear "Pudding Pants" Underwhere,



Why don't you and Spicey do it 3 times a day, every day? I'm thinking that not only will you conceive a Spicelet, you will also get scabs.

Everyone wins!

-Love ya,

Lupe.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
04/18/2006 01:38 PM

*sniff*



I'm sorry. It's just that this thread is so damn romantic.



I'm all verklempt.

trojandoll is hidden in the yard and getting melty 3,467 8
04/18/2006 01:44 PM

<action>runs quickly through thread and takes her anti-baby making pill</action>

I hope I don't catch anything in this thread

Le Straw 98,000 37
04/18/2006 02:09 PM

I could be wrong, but I thought that the more you do it, the weaker the swimmers get (or lower the sperm count, forget which). Aren't you supposed to do it every other day to maximize swimmer potential?

Spicey McHaggis 117,779 37
04/18/2006 05:30 PM

you will also get scabs.



That is why God invented lube.



Also, is it too early to take bids on the placenta?

Pete Moss 12,363 11
04/18/2006 05:51 PM

Dude.



You're supposed to have her hang upsidedown while you inject the magic potion.

HC: Queen of Caffeine 16,937 8
04/18/2006 05:53 PM

That could make yesterday's drop an implantation dip - or maybe that's just wishful thinking?



Implantation dips usually occur 6-11 DPO.



Straw: Yes, you're right about a lower count. But there are several other contingencies in TTC that predicate the daily baby dance, such as vajayjay pH and qualitative and quantitative CM.



Clearly, it will take 3 men to get Unders pregnant. Spicey to screw her and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Spicey McHaggis 117,779 37
04/18/2006 06:19 PM

Only 2?

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
04/18/2006 06:27 PM

Holly, the temps on your chart are uber low which makes me wonder if hypothyroidism might be an issue.



When I was trying to conceive with my ex, my doctor expressed this as a concern as well. I had bloodwork done, but my levels were fine. I'm just frigid My temps are just low, I guess.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
04/19/2006 07:14 AM

Yeah, so what I was saying, about my temps always being low...nevermind.

Ditdah 123,110 14
04/19/2006 07:21 AM

Am I the only one that thinks this thread is a little creepy?

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
04/19/2006 08:04 AM

No.

TorchAteTeen 3,239 8
04/20/2006 04:21 PM

(insert string title here)is a smelly taint-diver.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
04/20/2006 05:26 PM

Am I the only one that thinks this thread is a little creepy?



Are you talking about the charts, or the thought of Spicey and I rolling around naked on a tarp covered in peanut butter?

Chit 178,781 15
04/20/2006 06:01 PM

Wayyyyy creepy.







It's been six days now. Have you guys considered adoption ?





You could get a pair of Chinese girls by the end of the month I bet.

Declan McManus-They say that bears have affairs 131,887 36
04/20/2006 06:40 PM

<action> Hums the Tom Robinson Band's only hit: "Glad To Be Gay."</action>

pendy 987 8
04/20/2006 06:55 PM

I'm sure Brad and Angelina would be willing to loan you one of their thousands of adopted children until you fully comprehend the inner workings of your uterus

lupience is a REAL mother 26,981 11
04/20/2006 08:01 PM

Wait a minute! Is the tarp covered in the peanut butter, or are you and Spicey covered in peanut butter? Also- what brand of peanut butter? Because choosy mothers choose Jif.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
04/21/2006 08:56 PM

Chit, Pendy - I already have 2 adopted children, and plan to adopt more in the future. Right now though, Spicey wants to attempt to make at least one homegrown kid.



And I think it's looking like we may have succeeded.



We'll know for sure next week, I guess!

off.duty.ninja 21 7
04/21/2006 09:21 PM

rolling around naked on a tarp covered in peanut butter?



Shall I bring some Jelly? (Smuckers)