pendy 987 8
04/27/2006 09:33 PM

"Chooooo!!!!"

<b></b> 203,956 21
04/27/2006 09:37 PM

"What happens to the clergy when they hear Trae's confession."







Hi, Roofie.

Sage of Seattle (Alliteration King!) 36,465 8
04/27/2006 09:38 PM

So then she said to me, "I'd rather join a convent and poke my eye out with a ruler before sleeping with you!"



*sigh*



Struck out again....

CG-Version 2.0.06 86,932 12
04/27/2006 10:01 PM

"What was the thing that Noah built?"



"The ARRRRRGHKK!"

Le Mailman sonne toujours deux fois 176,450 56
04/27/2006 10:11 PM

Sister Roberta visually demonstrates the precepts of the Old Testament:



- "Eye for eye, tooth for tooth" (Deuteronomy 19:21)

El Mongólico 41,132 13
04/27/2006 10:43 PM

The only two things that jump out at me are:



1)The shape of her mouth is trapezoidal



and



2)What the Frost is that patch covering that it has to be so god damned big?

Millie 116,988 28
04/27/2006 11:40 PM

AAAAH! She's that scary nun on the Nun Channel! I don't like her. No, not at all.

Millie 116,988 28
04/27/2006 11:40 PM

That wasn't a caption--sorry, it was just my reaction to the picture.

King David 25 7
04/28/2006 03:43 AM

Sister Bertha's tragic sight-problems were the result of 50 years of constantly Feeding the Bearded Clam, Teasing the Tuna Taco, Rubbing the Donut, Playing With the Man in the Boat, Tossing the Pink Salad, Peting the Poe Cat, Flickin' the Bean, Paddling the Pink Canoe, Playing Manual Override, Beating Around the Bush and you get my point.



Well, they told you it'll make you go blind, didn't they?!

Grandmuffin 12 7
04/28/2006 04:45 AM

He told me he was uncircumsised! I allowed that trim and terrific snake into my garden...my grass..my cave?! never again without my pastoral screen! NEVER!

Potrzebie 1,790 9
04/28/2006 05:03 AM

Scene 254 from The Sound of Music 2, where we follow Maria after the war.



This is what happens when you are too jolly and take care of seven brats and a whiny Man-whore for twenty years...

Phuc 237,919 21
04/28/2006 06:46 AM

"Yahhrrr, I'm not attractive."

kageandjables11 45 7
04/28/2006 07:21 AM

Yeargh, my son! Repent lest ye be swallowed up by an angry god that gave ye fair warnin.'

Phuc 237,919 21
04/28/2006 08:53 AM

"What if God was one of us?

Just a slob like one of us?

Just a stranger on the bus...



uhhh...



ummmm...





































Yahr."

Piquantrax - Tourist Season 8,691 9
04/28/2006 09:00 AM

Darth Sidius becomes a born again Christian.

All Trixxie, and a Bag of Corn Chips 65,026 15
04/28/2006 09:03 AM

Holy Shakespeare that's Mother Angelica, The Heinrich Himmler of Nun's. She heads the vatican secret police force.





"SO I started to give him head like this, and he couldn't go deep enough so he Frosted me in the eye socket"













*Spends an eternity in Hell*

oddzodd 382 7
04/28/2006 09:49 AM

For the good of national security sister Gertrude willingly submits to a cavity search.........

El Mongólico 41,132 13
04/28/2006 09:55 AM

"Ahoy, thar, sinnas! Wood ye be liking ta repen' 'aday, eh?"







I'm assuming she's a Canadian or New England pirate.

oddzodd 382 7
04/28/2006 09:57 AM

I be a nun, its true. But hear me say.......god strike me down if I ain't a pirate just the same.......ARRRGH.

Piquantrax - Tourist Season 8,691 9
04/28/2006 09:59 AM

Reason #467 Not To Join The Church

oddzodd 382 7
04/28/2006 10:05 AM

I was on me knees before Father Benjamin .........an he poked me eye out he did!

oddzodd 382 7
04/28/2006 10:08 AM

Never genuflect before a priest erect.

LlunchLladyLloyd 48,662 14
04/28/2006 10:11 AM

My designation is Sister Agetha of Assumption. We are Catholics. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

oddzodd 382 7
04/28/2006 10:18 AM

Sister Wilma auditions for a part in the Pirates of Penzant.............

oddzodd 382 7
04/28/2006 10:26 AM

I sneezed so hard me eye popped clean out!

oddzodd 382 7
04/28/2006 10:32 AM

Sister Mary locates the missing crucifix as she has a seat in her favorite chair ..........

Mastur Platypus 7,665 11
04/28/2006 02:23 PM

Video image capture from the latest Catholic expos --> Bad Habits: Cloister Interruptus...

What's In a Name 21 7
04/28/2006 02:32 PM

It's FROW BLUCHER!!!



Somewhere in the distance, we hear a horse that just shat itself.

Sage of Seattle (Sinners Re-Pant!) 36,465 8
04/28/2006 02:34 PM

Oh my god, Becky, look at her butt

It is so big

She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends

Who understands those rap guys

They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute, ok?

dead otter 345 8
04/28/2006 03:42 PM

Haha! Now I control your television! Unless your goverment releases all my sisters from captivity I will release poison all the communion wine. Unless you comply with in 24 hours or try to send GI Joe and his pitful little band of toy soldiers you will feel the wrath of Mother Dread and the Sisterhood of Divine Assasins.



Hail Cobra!!

Southside Matty 192 8
04/28/2006 03:54 PM

Sister Margaret speaks on the spiritual importance of blind faith.

KingSize 1 7
04/28/2006 04:41 PM

my favorite show is Eeeee Aaarrrh!

Chit 178,781 15
04/28/2006 04:58 PM

The good lord asked me to be keepin an eye out fer ya my child.

LlunchLladyLloyd 48,662 14
04/28/2006 05:05 PM

Let us pray.



Arrrgh heavenly father,



We ask your forgiveness for our plundering ways.



Arrrghmen.

dead otter 345 8
04/28/2006 05:21 PM

Just one look at Sister Judy explains why Bishop McCormack Catholic School no longer offers wood shop.

Statik 34 7
04/28/2006 06:41 PM

Garrrrr! If there not be a worthy sea hag to bed with, a cabin boy will suffice! In Nomini Patri, et Fili, et Spiritus Sancti!

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
04/28/2006 07:18 PM

Sister Margaret speaks on the spiritual importance of blind faith.



Nice.

krazy_kiwi 17 7
04/28/2006 07:53 PM

I know the Bible says "an eye for an eye" sister mary christmas... but I didn't think you would take it in a literal sense.

oddzodd 382 7
04/28/2006 09:44 PM

a Borg nun?

oddzodd 382 7
04/28/2006 09:48 PM

After a tragic stem in the eye, Sister Margaret confronts her fears with a deep breath as she prepares to bob for apples one more time......

TheADDwombat 170 7
04/28/2006 11:51 PM

Batton the cathedrel! Scrub the pews! And hail Mary!

TheADDwombat 170 7
04/28/2006 11:51 PM

I can't tell if that's a man or a woman...

zzzzRaptor 15 7
04/29/2006 12:06 AM

From the Church if Maddox, Buy the danm book!

Chit 178,781 15
04/29/2006 12:06 AM

Yo Ho

Yo Ho

It's a Nun's life for me

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
04/29/2006 02:10 PM

"HEAVE TO, YE PAGAN SWINE! STAND DOWN AND PREPARE TO BE BOARDED, OR YER KNUCKLES BE FORFEIT TO THE MOST HOLY ORDER OF THE PIRATES OF PENANCE!"



"AARRRgh, Sister Francis, fire a Hail Mary accross their bow and tangle their rigging with Rosary! We'll show these dogs we mean business!"

GOD (visitor number 1,298) 36,465 8
04/29/2006 03:13 PM

<action>voice of thunder echoing across the heavens</action>Why couldn't she have lost both eyes?



PRAM, I DON'T OFTEN DO THIS SORT OF THING, BUT I WAS LURKING AND DECIDED TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION.



YOU SEE, I CHOOSE VERY CAREFULLY HOW I WILL PUNISH SINNERS IN THIS LIFE. HERS WAS THAT SHE WOULD ONLY LIVE WITH ONE EYE AND A PERPETUAL LOOK OF DUMBFOUNDED AMAZEMENT ON HER FACE.



AND TO PUNISH EVERYONE ELSE ON GAB, I ALLOW YOU TO CONTINUE TO BE UNFUNNY.



IN YOUR FACE, BEYOTCH!



*disappears in a flash of lightning*

RicaB 54 8
04/29/2006 03:40 PM

Sister Wendy really, really doesn't like the MFA's new David Hockney portait exhibit.

Sage of Seattle (Occasionally contumacious) 36,465 8
04/29/2006 05:05 PM

Seek and ye shall find, mother-Froster!

The Masked Wedgie Giver 38 7
04/29/2006 05:29 PM

Aaarghh save me jesus, they're after me plunder

crackhead 427 8
04/29/2006 05:32 PM

why haven't you removed my channel from your channel lineup yet?

ntshan 0 7
04/29/2006 05:42 PM

"URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP!"



You'd think Sister Mary would go easy on the chalice after the "eye incident" but a good Irishwoman never knows when to quit!

tafka 0 7
04/29/2006 07:48 PM

My eyes are my loveliest feature. Without my eye, I'm only half beautiful!

Sombrero Jones 10 7
04/29/2006 08:33 PM

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has finally acheived the perfect blend of Piracy and Papacy. High Piratess!

silverhawk79 10 7
04/30/2006 08:03 PM

OH MY GOD, I JUST SAW JOHN HARGRAVE TAKE VIAGRA IN CHURCH!1

And his "Pope staff" poked my eye out! >:[

Schufly 2 7
04/30/2006 09:52 PM

Oh....ok. It was just gas.

Midgets on Parade 96,092 48
05/01/2006 11:39 AM

As Osama takes his last breath he hears hears a thunderous voice echo..





"The first of ye virgins has arrrrrived!"

Sage of Seattle (Occasionally contumacious) 36,465 8
05/01/2006 11:39 AM

What? Can't understand you. Don't talk with your mouth full, beyotch.

dead otter 345 8
05/01/2006 01:27 PM

The studio admitted Sister Mary did in fact look menacing, but ultimatley rejected the idea of making her the next Bond Girl.

krazy_kiwi 17 7
05/02/2006 02:29 PM

"Sister Mary, the next time you go down on Father O'Riley you might wanna make sure you have your glasses on... You're liable to poke the other eye"

Sage of Seattle (Occasionally contumacious) 36,465 8
05/02/2006 02:36 PM

Father Martin provides proof-positive that the only meat he'll eat on Friday is, in fact, nun.

sleepa 12 7
05/02/2006 02:39 PM

This is what catholic priests have for eye candy? No wonder the church is full of gay pedophiles...

Tarx 68 7
05/02/2006 05:25 PM

Coleridge Goes Where?

[)r. P3nguinxx()rz 395 8
05/02/2006 10:41 PM

Lord Vader......



...Rise....

Airyx 18 7
05/02/2006 10:50 PM

She's hot, I mean just look at that stuning eye patch! So as for the priests beging gay...I think it's just because they don't have eye patches. I mean, whos ever met a gay eye wearing pirate, now the ones with peg legs are diffrent...thos guys are...well nevermind.

X-DEATH 262 9
05/02/2006 11:55 PM

"What was that Mr Threepwood? No I be not the pirate Lechuck in disguise." "Now let me pray in peace." "Oh Jesus yarrrr lord."

PappaSmurf 0 7
05/03/2006 02:14 AM

ZOMG they finnal found out where Col. Klink has been hiding since WWII!!

Cranky 571 8
05/03/2006 12:18 PM

And the congregation sat silent as Sister Mary Phlegm recited from "The Happy Change" (Book III, Hymn 44).



How bless'd Thy creature is, O God,

When with a single eye,

He views the lustre of Thy Word,

The dayspring from on high!



And at once they understood the depth of the Sister's devotion to her Lord and her unfortunate habit of getting loaded on cheap wine and running 'round the rectory with scissors.

Blaster Master 4 7
05/03/2006 04:43 PM

The leader of the "Nuns of the Caribbean" exhorts her troops

SCHEMOZZLE... a group of two or more monkeys 2 7
05/03/2006 11:29 PM

"No, Not that ninja again..."

SaltireMuppet 124 7
05/03/2006 11:51 PM

Nun sues the Church after violent altercation with the sharp edge of a bible, Sister Rosemary speaks out.

oddzodd 382 7
05/04/2006 12:42 AM

When the sun hits your eye like as big pizza pie.....that's amore.......

En Vino 9 7
05/04/2006 11:57 AM

I am a flabbergasted nun wearing glasses, eye-patch and a habit.

soul_motor 16 7
05/04/2006 02:22 PM

"this is what happens when you look at porn."

SaltireMuppet 124 7
05/04/2006 05:11 PM

RAAA! I ARE UBER-NUN!

Pram Maven can clickie now 80,728 42
05/30/2010 11:27 AM

Why couldn't she have lost both eyes? It's not like you can see God anyway.

Pram Maven can clickie now 80,728 42
05/30/2010 11:27 AM

Yay, now she's skullFrostable!

Pram Maven can clickie now 80,728 42
05/30/2010 11:27 AM

"now with less depth perception"

Pram Maven can clickie now 80,728 42
05/30/2010 11:27 AM

PRAM, I DON'T OFTEN DO THIS SORT OF THING, BUT I WAS LURKING OPENING a second account in the hopes that it would be funny, and lying to kick it as well.



You've been seeked!

Pram Maven can clickie now 80,728 42
05/30/2010 11:27 AM

Uh, Sage.

Pram Maven can clickie now 80,728 42
05/30/2010 11:27 AM

"I can't see your Coleridge, Sage. How close it it now?"