Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
05/23/2006 03:32 PM

Ya know, I've always wanted to know which one Chickens likes better.



KFC or Popeyes?

That's MRS. Lila to YOU, buster!! 78,555 13
05/23/2006 03:32 PM

I was channel surfing last night and came across a special on the ABC Family special on this movie. Dude was all, "Any self-respecting Christian should not spend their money on this movie. Unless, of course, they are informed and secure in their beliefs or are going with a non-believer so that they can explain the truth of Christ to them as they are watching."



Um, isn't that Frost-ing EVERYBODY?!

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
05/23/2006 03:34 PM

or are going with a non-believer so that they can explain the truth of Christ to them as they are watching.



That only applies for black people. Because we ALL know how much they love to talk in the theater.

That's MRS. Lila to YOU, buster!! 78,555 13
05/23/2006 03:35 PM

"Ooo, Tom Hanks! Don't go in thur! He gotta knife and he gonna stab you an some Shakespeare!"

Jade - Mentally Disturbed 14,453 11
05/23/2006 03:35 PM

I saw the film today. It sucked. They missed out far too many details from the book, and warped the details they managed to write into the script.



On Jade's rating scale, this film gets two Goatses and a Tubgirl.

dead otter 345 8
05/23/2006 03:36 PM

That's just silly. I am Jesus freak and I plan to go next weekend with my and pass out Jack Chick tracts to the audience and pontificate in Hebrew so I can get on Oprah.

Sarah (Once daily, by mouth.) 30,601 8
05/23/2006 03:39 PM

Lets hope everyone doesn't jump on the religious fanatic bandwagon, and start bashing EVERY movie that is fictional or based on a true story...



"If you are Christian, then it would be a sin to buy the Forrest Gump DVD, because God knows he really didn't create someone named Forrest Gump. Hollywood is all lies, and you will go to Hell."

dead otter 345 8
05/23/2006 03:42 PM

Then I'll wait for a sign from Jesus or Oprah, whoever comes first.

Taco: the Lord of the Crunch 61,976 36
05/23/2006 03:42 PM

Um, isn't that Frost-ing EVERYBODY?!



Uh...nope. As an athiest, I really don't see what all the fuss is about. Funny how fiction novels tend to get Christians in such a tizzy.

That's MRS. Lila to YOU, buster!! 78,555 13
05/23/2006 03:44 PM

If you're atheist it means a Christian should also buy a ticket and sit with you to explain the TRUTH behind what you're watching.

Taco: the Lord of the Crunch 61,976 36
05/23/2006 03:46 PM

But I don't care if Jesus had a daughter or not. He's just a guy. Lots of guys have illegitimate daughters.

That's MRS. Lila to YOU, buster!! 78,555 13
05/23/2006 03:48 PM

"He's just zees guy, y'know?"

Aimless grows vagantalopes 54,807 10
05/23/2006 03:49 PM

You know what are really great movies?



*The Left Behind series.



Sometime I lay under the Kirk Cameron poster taped to my ceiling and pray for the tape to give way.















*I have never actually seen these, but I did find the books enjoyable. Well, until the last one when Jesus showed up.

Chickens N Sweet Brown Rice 08 286,539 61
05/23/2006 03:55 PM

they are terrible Aimless.



Sidenote: my college roomie and I still pass a teen-beat Kirk Cameron sticker back and forth whenever we get access to the other's stuff. Last time I saw it, I had hung it on the underside of his daughter's mobile over her crib.

That's MRS. Lila to YOU, buster!! 78,555 13
05/23/2006 03:56 PM

Kirk Cameron doesn't have sex anymore. He preaches to people in the street all day now.

dead otter 345 8
05/23/2006 03:59 PM

Don't bother waiting for the Kirk Cameron Poster to fall. I gave up on waiting for a sign from Kirk Cameron Years ago. Same goes for those Singing Billy Bass with Dr.James Dobson crooning old George Michael songs, that only happens once in a lifetime.

Le Straw 98,000 37
05/23/2006 04:05 PM

I'm really glad I'm no longer a Christian and don't have to pretend to get bent out of shape over this crap.

Taco: the Lord of the Crunch 61,976 36
05/23/2006 04:06 PM

<action>shows her age</action>

Who the Frost is Kirk Cameron?

Le Straw 98,000 37
05/23/2006 04:08 PM

<action>shows her age.</action> Who the Frost is Jake Gyllennhahallalaal

Taco: the Lord of the Crunch 61,976 36
05/23/2006 04:09 PM

Some gay cowboy eatin' pudding.

Sarah (Once daily, by mouth.) 30,601 8
05/23/2006 04:13 PM

I was never big on Kirk. I loved Jonathan Brandis and Brad Renfro.



Now ones dead, and the other ones a heroin addict.



I never pick 'em right.

Le Straw 98,000 37
05/23/2006 04:15 PM

I think the Christianity thing is a front. Clearly Kirk has sold his soul to Satan so he wouldn't age a bit.



Before. After.

Le Straw 98,000 37
05/23/2006 04:15 PM

Hmmm... I was way into Sean Astin. He grew up to be a hobbit.

Sarah (Once daily, by mouth.) 30,601 8
05/23/2006 04:17 PM

Why would Satan still give him the 80's hair?



Cuz Satan's awesome, thats why.

Chit 178,781 15
05/23/2006 04:23 PM

If Leonardo Di Vinci was alive today, I'm pretty sure he would be saying,



"Screw all that, look, it's a helicopter and a Frost-ing submarine."

Jesus Christ! It's cs! 15,189 12
05/23/2006 04:25 PM

So this is totally a Jesus movie/book? Clearly, I haven't been paying attention.



Is this another Passion of the Christ type thing? (I didn't see that one either.)

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
05/23/2006 04:26 PM

Passion of the Christ sucked.



The DaVinci Code was a good book. But apparently a horrible movie.



I mean come on! It only got two goatse's and a tubgirl from Jade.

Taco: the Lord of the Crunch 61,976 36
05/23/2006 04:29 PM

The DaVinci Code was a good book



Not really. It was written at about a third grade reading level, from stolen stories by other authors. People like it a lot because they can figure out the "secret code" as the book progresses, and it makes them feel smart.

The Tchouk of Wybourne 45,655 12
05/23/2006 04:30 PM

I'm not much of doer (I don't even know her!) so I'll throw this idea for the next Zug hit into the wild: The Movie-Theater Volunteer Evangelist.



Get a couple fine, fine black ladies in those flashy robes and start a soul-saving sermon right in the middle of the movie. That's right, my brothers and sisters, a sermon, no!, a ticket, thas right, a ticket for the train bound to the promised land! Now you say "I'm bound, for the promised land" but y'all remind me of an old freight train I saw one day. The engine got uncoupled from the cars. And the engine was going north and cars were going south. So how can you tell me y'all are going to heaven when you just keep backing yourself right to hell! I don't belive it! And y'all bound right enough, but you're bound for hell! Excepting you'd be borned again, excpeting you know Jesus. Hal-le-lu-ja! Ya gotta know! Praise Jesus, my brothers, praise the Lord. Halleluja! Let me hear you say it. Halleluja! Prais-



Right, sorry, got carried away there. You'd also need some gabbers in the theater to say "thas right", "Uh-uh", "amen" and "praise Jesus" after every exclamation.

Sexual Harassment Policy Panda 181,795 70
05/23/2006 04:46 PM

"He's just zees guy, y'know?"



Lila, if you weren't married, I'd take you down.



In a sexual way.

That's MRS. Lila to YOU, buster!! 78,555 13
05/23/2006 04:51 PM

If anything in this thread is more important than my ego I wanted it captured and shot right now.

shifty101 533 8
05/23/2006 07:37 PM

I saw the Davinci Code the other night. And this two and a half hour Shakespeare fest bored the hell out of me. What I think they should do is fit the entire movie into a 45 minute time frame. Not because I thought the story was good or anything, just if it was 45 mins everybody would have to walk and talk ridiculously fast.

Jaggy 11,895 13
05/23/2006 09:09 PM

But... but... Audrey Tautou is so hot.

Hodg(wo)man 594 7
05/23/2006 09:27 PM

But... but... Audrey Tautou is so hot.

take a look at this completly undoctored photograph

Hodg(wo)man 594 7
05/23/2006 09:28 PM

I should have spell checked that.

LLLLLLLLL 48,662 14
05/23/2006 09:30 PM

Funny how fiction novels tend to get Christians in such a tizzy.



Yeah, like The Bible.

ThirstyMcSurly 4,444 12
05/23/2006 10:06 PM

I bet Tom Hanks is now it the cross hairs of the Vatican Secret Police...There's nothing worse than being ass-ass-inated by a man in a phallic hat

Taco: the Lord of the Crunch 61,976 36
05/23/2006 10:18 PM

There's nothing worse than being ass-ass-inated by a man in a phallic hat



Oh yeah there is...back in the days the men in phallic hats used to burn people at the stake. Now that would suck.

LLLLLLLLL 48,662 14
05/23/2006 10:19 PM

Was the stake placed up their poopers? Because that would be really crappy.

Montecore 533 8
05/23/2006 11:48 PM

I dont see what so offensive about this movie, I mean if Jesus was alive I imagine he would go and see it. Who knows he might even bring the kids.

Fillyrific 39,193 20
05/23/2006 11:51 PM

I read the book, and I'm a huge fan of it. Eh, so I have a third grader's reading comprehension. Anyone surprised? The movie was horrible though, the best way to describe it is sheer horrifying boredom.



If you haven't read the book, go see the movie, you'll like it, according to my, ah, sources. If you have read the book, do not go see it.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
05/23/2006 11:53 PM

Ah, c'mon, the veracity of the book is bullShakespeare, but it's one hell of a rippin' yarn.

Chi Chi Felipe: Wunderkind 161,353 14
05/23/2006 11:58 PM

I'm proud of the fact that I've never read "The DaVinci Code." Because as everyone knows, I am a strict creationist and unapologetic Catholic.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
05/24/2006 12:00 AM

That's a good story, too.

Fillyrific 39,193 20
05/24/2006 12:06 AM

I gotta say, I'm most amused by how offended people have gotten over this whole thing. What part of "fiction" do you stupid right-wing conversative Christian biblethumpers people not understand?

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
05/24/2006 12:15 AM

Yo, Montecore. Nice one.

stop licking those toads 5 7
05/24/2006 12:26 AM

wait...so there's a movie AND a book about kirk cameron reading the bible to tom hanks in a movie theater while two hot black ladies dress up like leonardo da vince and...?

The Tchouk of Wybourne 45,655 12
05/24/2006 02:51 AM

This whole things sucks ass, sideways, actually. Every two-bit retard with a pen is now going to write the same old retard crap as before, but with Jesus as the main character. And people are going to discuss it. And make movies.



I, the literature aficionado, I'll cry.

Chickens N Sweet Brown Rice 08 286,539 61
05/24/2006 09:41 AM

Filly, you ignorant slut. As Gab's token stupid right-wing conversative Christian biblethumper, I would like to point out that my first post in this thread and every post on Gab concerning this subject has pointed out that it was released as a book of fiction.



Now go fix my Cajun fillet bisquit WITH CHEESE like a good little francophile.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
05/24/2006 11:38 AM

You wanna know what else is real? Wrestling.



You wanna know what else is real? Genesis.



The first book of the bible. Not the band. They stopped being real after Peter Gabriel left.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
05/24/2006 11:41 AM

Also, the book The DaVinci Code sucked big hairy balls, for reasons including those that Taco posted above.



And anyone who defends the anti-Christian/Catholic bias of the book or movie with the "it's fiction" defense is being disingenuous. The reason this whole thing is so popular is because so many people want to believe that there is truth in it. Which there may well be.

Straight Pimpin' Lila with kung fu grip! 78,555 13
05/24/2006 11:43 AM

All this talk about it really makes me wanna read it now. Should I not read it, based on the Gab consensus?

I guess it would help if I were literate to begin with...

LLLLLLLLL 48,662 14
05/24/2006 12:05 PM

It would also help if you could read!

LLLLLLLLL 48,662 14
05/24/2006 12:05 PM

Wait, what does literate mean?

Jesus Christ! It's cs! 15,189 12
05/24/2006 12:11 PM

I suppose people need something to believe in. If that means they believe in a man, who was born of a virgin, performed miracles, and returned from the dead...then so be it.

The Tchouk of Wybourne 45,655 12
05/24/2006 12:18 PM

No one asked you, Christ-killer.

Gorky is a mammal! 41,132 13
05/24/2006 12:30 PM

Also, the book The DaVinci Code sucked big hairy balls



But you and Taco still jumped outta your seat and ran into the bathroom and held the book up to the mirror when you got to that part, though, didn'tcha?

Fillyrific 39,193 20
05/24/2006 01:16 PM

Chix, you moronic nutjob. As GAB's resident ignorant slut, I'd like to point out that I was talking about the stupid right-wing conversative Christian biblethumpers who did take the book seriously.



And take that cheese and shoveitupyerass. Ruining good food...pah!

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
05/24/2006 02:03 PM

Jesus just called me and said he lost his password, but wanting me to pass on the following message:

Muhammad was a bad tipper and did that stupid overbite thing when he danced.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
05/24/2006 08:01 PM

I was disappointed. After all that effort to decode DaVincis message, it was just a Frost-ing commercial.



I don't even think they HAD Ovaltine in those days.

Lupience has Peonies. 26,981 11
06/05/2006 12:56 AM

I think it's lazy-ass nerdwaffles who confuse novels with biography in this saga of the decade. It would be comforting in a perverted way for them to think that Jesus Christ had sex due to the lack of it in their own lives.



For anyone to herald this book/movie as anything other than cheesy entertainment shows a disinguished lack of grey matter.

ThirstyMcSurly 4,444 12
06/05/2006 02:45 AM

The movie I saw was awesome

GollyJee 520 7
06/05/2006 10:58 AM

OK, I'm posting in here to find my Jesus Freak buddy who can go with me Friday to explain the movie to me. If you are a black baptist, that is even better....